paladine Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 What does it feel like, knowing, really knowing beyond a doubt your sexuality, your gender, or anything about yourself in general? Linked to this, how do you know for certain? I guess a lot of you will want to say it feels right, please describe this feeling in that case. I ask because, well, I know nothing for certain about myself, except the fact that I don't know anything. It's been this way forever and it doesn't seem like it is ever going to change. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chewy Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I know I am a girl because I have girl parts and nothing in my mind wants to tell me otherwise. I don't know what it is like to be agender or genderfluid. I know I never gave sex a thought and I don't seem to need it or want it. I guess asexual is a label I can use to explain to other people how I am and so "asexual" it is. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 You can look at your cumulative thoughts and feeling in life up to this point and see how they fall in alignment with x label... It may even be an aha moment that helps you explain those thoughts or feelings. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anime Pancake Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Are you certain.... that you don't know for certain?If you are certainly certain that you are not certain, then does that mean that you certainly....... *mindblown* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bonny Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Regarding asexuality, I'm confident that this is a useful way for me to describe myself, seeing as I've managed to get to 40 years old having had only 1 sexual relationship - that was out of curiosity - and in the 16 years since that relationship ended, I have neither missed nor sought out sexual activity with a partner. As regards gender and romantic orientation, I'm a lot less sure. I mean, I know what my experiences have been / are, but I'm unsure how other people would categorize them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paladine Posted July 18, 2014 Author Share Posted July 18, 2014 You can look at your cumulative thoughts and feeling in life up to this point and see how they fall in alignment with x label... It may even be an aha moment that helps you explain those thoughts or feelings. Thing is, I have never experienced this. Even having gone through all the possibilities, too much doubt still remains. Are you certain.... that you don't know for certain? If you are certainly certain that you are not certain, then does that mean that you certainly....... *mindblown* Thanks for the laugh :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 One time I heard.... how some people obsess so much about happiness, that happiness no longer is happy enough for them. Or maybe was it that by always stressing about stress, they could never remove the stress? Point is, with things, I try to just be, because being is all that's needed to be me. Because any action or thought I make, is me and not someone else... maybe there is some sort of end-all reason or drive that is bigger than my me-ness, but is that so important a thing that I understand it, if it is there whether I recognize it or not? It can be rewarding to seek ourselves, but it is the seeking that is the not having, because by default we already know ourselves even without knowing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I think life is always an unsure thing that changes a lot...so we may not always know something without a shadow of a doubt. Nothing's set in stone. Everyone changes, and that's alright. I went through life assuming I was just a normal heterosexual girl, and then I went through a time where I assumed I was bisexual, sometimes leaning more towards lesbian, but that was all before learning about asexuality (only a few months ago lol). It turns out that everything I thought I was...wasn't quite accurate. I was never sure of myself until now. I looked back at my life and many instances that occurred, and I analyzed them (I'm very analytical), comparing them to all that I researched regarding asexuality (and lithromanticism), and I discovered that it all came together. Reading people's posts here on AVEN, I thought, "Omg. That's me...I can relate to this so much," and it did give me a feeling of relief. A feeling of relief and belonging. So anyway, I don't think it's bad that you aren't 100% certain. There's no time limit in figuring yourself out, so just take your time. : ) And maybe you will get that "a-ha" moment that drives you to a more certain conclusion, but there's no rush. Just keep reading other people's experiences, compare them to yours, and see. Wait and see. Sometimes it takes a whole lot more waiting. I wish you the best! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 The asexual / Aromantic label makes sense of a lot of things in my life that just didn't quite make sense before, and therefore this label fits me just fine. I never any doubt, confusion, or insecurity about my gender, so I'm perfectly fine identifying as male. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Angeliss Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Either people change over time, or they just learn to understand themselves better. For this reason, I tell myself that this is my label for today. I don't know if ten years down the line I'll fall desperately in love and be demisexual. Ace fits for now. And that's okay. It all has to do with comfort level. And orientation is nobody's business but your own. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Because no other sexuality fits with my experiences. Therefore, with all the knowledge I have, asexuality is what I identify as. Also, I feel and felt great being Ace ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Well... I don't need to know for absolute certain, there is no need of a label to know the who I am. There's no point in looking for something I don't need. It's like a middle ground of simply just not caring for something I have little interest in. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Conscientious Ghost Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 It feels like a mixture of emotions, an ambivalent feeling. It's all a learning process and path to further self-discovery for me, so I can't be absolutely certain that I will grow and develop differently in the next ten years. How I identify myself is who I currently am comfortable with. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Eidd Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Probably the only thing i know beyond a doubt about myself is my gender. So my answer will cover that part only, although i think it can be applied to the other sides of one's identity. It's difficult to explain, but. As a female, someone saying "women" feels like someone saying your name. You react to it because you identify with it, and like your name it's something you have interiorized and made it make part of yourself to a point that you wouldn't want to be referred as anything else because you feel like that's not you. You like being called a girl or a woman even when it's said in a pejorative tone. It feels like belonging to something you love and feeling accepted by your own body and your own physical and sometimes mental features. It feels like being home - feeling safe, feeling comfortable, feeling like you belong in yourself and in your body. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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