Does anyone else feel this way? Am I actually considered asexual?

[Undergoing_chaos]

I'm new here... All my life I have looked at personality whenever it's come to relationships... I find people cute or good looking sometimes, it's rare though... But I have never found anyone sexually attractive. I find myself being disgusted with the slightest sexual joke told by a friend... I have had sex... I'm iffy about it... I've been mostly in long term relationships so when I did have sex, it wasn't really because I was excited about it, it was because I cared about my partner enough to please him... Can anyone relate? I'm not necessarily disgusted with having sex, I don't mind much... But sexual jokes I find disgusting

And I don't ever find anyone sexually attractive.

[Boots*]

Welcome to AVEN!

I can relate in some ways. I'm not sexually attracted to people, but I do find people aesthetically attractive, and consider myself homo-romantic, so I do fall in love and crush on people.

I've done some sex things, which I regret. I never really wanted to but I was so ashamed, and I wanted badly to please my girlfriend. Some aces are happy to compromise though.

[NapalmNovocaine]

Welcome!

I’ll share with you the thing that has struck me the most since discovering the asexual community. Sexual people crave sex. They revel in it. They are driven to seek it. Now, this doesn’t mean that all sexual people are sex crazed perverts who walk around with sex on the brain 24/7. That’s not what I’m saying at all. But sex is something that is exciting and important to them. It’s not just a novelty. It’s certainly not a chore. In some cases, especially within the context of a relationship, they almost take it for granted because it is so normal and natural for them to want it. For most of us asexuals, sex usually doesn’t even occur to us. It seems odd to link so many seemingly unrelated things to sex. Sex jokes may be jarring, confusing, or even off-putting. For me personally, I enjoy a good sex joke, but not because sex jokes are just another excuse to think about sex. I find them funny because sex often seems so laughably ridiculous to me.

I’ve experienced genuine sexual attraction in about 7% of my sexual or romantic experiences. Yes, I actually crunched the numbers. So that makes me a gray asexual. These experiences allowed me to understand what sexual people must experience all the time. Most of the time though, sex was a chore for me. Afterwards, I would feel a sense of accomplishment as though I had endured a boring or unpleasant ordeal and lived to tell about it. I don’t necessarily regret these experiences, nor am I ashamed of them, but I could have done without them. Nowadays, I won’t have sex unless I want to. So I rarely have sex, but I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything when I’m not having a bunch of sex that I don’t want. AVEN is the only place where people understand this.