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Anyone else find being called "hot" insulting?


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I'm just curious. Being called "hot" is one of the most insulting things, to me. I was wondering if it's the same for anyone else? :) xx

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You aren't alone! I see it as a reference to my body rather than my mind which is always insulting. It also shows a complete lack of originality. Being cliche gets you nowhere with me. I also find "cute" to be insulting. Small things like kittens are cute. I find it kind of degrading.

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You aren't alone! I see it as a reference to my body rather than my mind which is always insulting. It also shows a complete lack of originality. Being cliche gets you nowhere with me. I also find "cute" to be insulting. Small things like kittens are cute. I find it kind of degrading.

See I like being called "cute" or "pretty", just not "hot" or "sexy" -.-

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Ace of Cakes

Not sure that I'd quite say insulting, as I know it's not meant that way. Although how it's meant to be a compliment completely escapes me. Being called "hot" definitely makes me very uncomfortable, as it's too physically focused. I don't mind cute so much, depending on the context, and pretty/beautiful/etc. are fine... I think those are more aesthetically focused, while hot just feels too sexual for me...

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You aren't alone! I see it as a reference to my body rather than my mind which is always insulting. It also shows a complete lack of originality. Being cliche gets you nowhere with me. I also find "cute" to be insulting. Small things like kittens are cute. I find it kind of degrading.

I agree with all of this.

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See I like being called "cute" or "pretty", just not "hot" or "sexy" -.-

Same! I don't like being described as something...sexual lol. I don't see it as "insulting" per say, but it just makes me really uncomfortable. I tend to use the word "cute" for anyone and anything I find attractive, so that's also the word I like being used for me.

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Amoeba-Proteus

Yeah, I've never exactly taken it as a compliment either.
It's rare that I hear it, but when I do, I literally shudder with disgust. I honestly don't like being called "cute", "sexy" or anything like that either.

All I can ever think to say is, "No. I am not." Not out of low self esteem or anything, but because it's too physically focused. I'd rather be liked for me, not the vessel I'm within.

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HermioneGranger

I don't know if I feel insulted, exactly, but it does squick me out a little bit. It's obvious that the person calling me "hot" is thinking about me in a sexual way and that's uncomfortable. And then there's the whole, "Boy are you barking up the wrong tree..." feeling that follows!

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I've been called "hot" by a male outside of a relationship exactly once, and it was when I was about 11 (random, upper teens or low 20s stranger). Definitely uncomfortable not to mention slightly disturbing in retrospect.

I don't mind being called hot by my female friends, because they mean I look good. I don't usually try to look attractive (no makeup, no hair, no nothing - just lazy and comfortable with myself) so when I do I like being complimented on putting in some extra work LOL! But I do prefer "you look good tonight" or even "wow, you should make an effort more often" than the thought of someone who I don't have a connection with calling me "hot".

I'm pretty sure I'd look at them, say "uh, thanks" then run to the opposite side of the room.

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Ace of Cakes

I'd rather be liked for me, not the vessel I'm within.

Oooh. I love this. Couldn't agree more, although I don't have a problem with my vessel being appreciated in a non-sexual way.

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I presume I've never been called "hot" or "cute". But I've noticed, on many occasions [on this site] that males are referred to as hot and/or cute as well; often by female members. As the male that I am, I would take no offense...I'd only assume that the individual [male, female or whatever] was just trying to be funny, or was blind.

Why so many women appear to use such inane langusge themselves; describing men, and other women...I don't know. Maybe some of the respondents above^^ could explain why such vocab is used, and should the male it's directed at take offense to it, as some women obviously do.

CiaO

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I take it as a compliment. At least the person is trying to be nice. I don't find it the best compliment, but I'm certainly not insulted by it either.

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For me, it's always been somewhat contextual. As a sarcastic sort of remark, I'm fine, if it's serious I might take it as a compliment - usually, though, while I don't take offense per se, I agree that it just feels a bit... degrading. I'd really rather not be called anything like "hot" or "sexy," and personally I'd even prefer to avoid terms like "cute."

Part of this for me, I guess, is that I've never judged people based on appearances. (Probably because I have an ASD, but I've just never seen how appearances are really relevant to who someone is.) My opinions of people are based solely on how they act - I don't view people as being "cute" or "beautiful" or "pretty" or anything (well, usually. I'm demi-aesthetic... or something, it's weird and I'm weird), and those aren't terms I ever use to describe people. It seems strange to me to have people use them to refer to me, mostly I think because it makes me feel like they're viewing me as more of an object than a person (even though I know that's not the case, usually).

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iamphoenixfire

Depends on who is saying it and the context of it. If my boyfriend calls me hot or sexy, that's not weird or insulting. And if my friends say it I don;t care. They know me for body and mind and are complimenting both, and know how i feel. but when someone i dont know well says it- then i get uncomfortable.

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Insulting is not the word I would use to describe it, but it's still not something I like to be called.

I would only consider it insulting if it was being used in the sense like my physical attractiveness (LOL) was my only sort of redeeming quality. To me it becomes a sort of Damning by Faint Praise in that case, because I value physical attractiveness about as much as I value the muck on my shoe.

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skymessenger

It feels degrading to me. If I'm 'hot' then I'm only seen as an object and I'm being treated as such. I don't want to be judged based on looks.

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Depends a lot. If a female straight (/male gay etc) friend would call my look "hot", I'd take it as some weird kind of compliment I guess, but if a guy (or anyone who is into girl that way) would say it to me, I think it would first of all be rudely blunt and secondly it's almost the same as saying "I wouldn't mind having sex with you", so... ewww, no thanks.

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I actually really like it. I like making an effort to look nice, whether it be wearing nice dresses, or doing my lips/eyes up nice, and when people call me hot, they're just telling me that I've succeeded. It's a compliment like any other to me, and I sure do love compliments.

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I don't think I've ever been called "hot", but I can remember when I was in my 20s (this was in the only "relationship" I've ever been in), a man telling me he "liked the way my nipples stood out" through my clothing, to which my reaction was "That's disgusting!" - pity I didn't know about asexuality back then. :unsure: I can also remember, maybe a year or two before that, complaining when a lady, of my Mum's age or older, told me I had "pretty hair", to which I remarked "Well, I don't really want to look pretty", and got the surprised response from a man who was also listening, "Whyever not?!" To which I thought afterwards, that if someone was going to compliment me on my appearance, I would much prefer the term "attractive". "Pretty" for me had too many connotations around being girly and feminine, which I'm just not.

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binary suns

If it's someone who I barely met, or the comment is about someone they barely met, it doesn't bother me at all. If it's a friend whose saying it as a greeting, or I can tell they just like how I've dressed today, I enjoy it. (such as like "hey hots stuff what's happenin?" and then we just hang out like any other form of greeting) but if it's like obvious the person doesn't care about the person except that they're "Hot" I'm like... wowo what a socialable person I have here /sarc

Insulting is not the word I would use to describe it, but it's still not something I like to be called.

I would only consider it insulting if it was being used in the sense like my physical attractiveness (LOL) was my only sort of redeeming quality. To me it becomes a sort of Damning by Faint Praise in that case, because I value physical attractiveness about as much as I value the muck on my shoe.

actually... I quite like the muck on your shoe! It's forming a really cool pattern, isn't that awesome? it kinda looks like a peace dove! ;)

but yeah, totally get what you mean, one time someone said "I really appreciate you in a corset" and I was like that comment is 100% inappropriate...

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TeddyMiller

I'd just find it really surprising. Being called cute, or told that they like my haircut or something, that happens. But I don't think anyone's ever called me hot or sexy.

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MusicHeartShine

Simple words like hot, pretty, cute, sexy, etc. have always bothered me. I don't appreciate them because of how much weight people put on them, if that makes sense. My concept of self worth does not include my physical appearance, but the use of those words is because someone is adding weight to the importance of how I look. Does it make me feel good to like how I look at a given time? Yes. Do I like people taking what can make me feel comfortable and describing it for themselves? No. I feel like I'm under a microscope with people judging me.

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I have never liked it. At first I did not understand the word at all or what it meant. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I’m being degraded or something. I don’t care who is using it, but as long as it's being directed at me I just don’t like it. It’s awkward.

Texas weather is hot, chili peppers (food) are hot. People + the word hot = confused ace. I feel that the person using the word is putting it in a context that I don’t understand.

But yes, I can’t stand that “kind of compliment”. I feel like I’m being used. I mean that some people can use it in a “nice” way, but I just hate it. Oh, I’m ok with others being called that just not me. I feel like I have not emotional reference point for that.

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I've never been called 'hot' or 'cute' (or anything similar). But I'm also not cute or anything (don't consider myself ugly either, basically 'just another dull average guy')

I personally wouldn't find it insulting or anything like that...

but I would have to assume they were simply joking or had odd/low standards for what 'hot' is

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I didn't like it either, and even as an homosexual, interestingly I have found that being called "hot" by a girl I felt the same way.

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I love, love, looove makeup (I see it as an art form for whatever reason), so when someone tells me I look hot while I'm wearing makeup I feel like it's a compliment to my artistic skill. It's kind of like they're recognizing my talent or something.

Otherwise, when I'm not wearing makeup, I feel somewhat uncomfortable being called hot, sexy, etc. I do keep up on the fashions, though, so when they compliment my clothes I am all for it! But when it seems like they are thinking sexual thoughts about me I start to think of it as less of a compliment and more of a come-on which is definitely not something I care to hear.

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