tsundear Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 This might sound confusing or whatever but... As long as you don't experience sexual attraction, no matter the reason, would you still be asexual? I've never been sexually attracted to anyone but I don't know if I consider myself ace because I always think "Oh, it's because I'm depressed/have no self confidence/am afraid of being ridiculed/know nobody would have sex with me anyways, etc". Even when I was younger (I am 18 now) I never bothered to put in effort to "like" anybody because I knew nothing would come from it. Why put in the effort of being attracted to someone if nothing would come out of it? I always think of tons of reasons why I couldn't be, but despite the reasons I don't feel sexual attraction. On top of that I can't talk to my family about it because I know their reaction would be to send me to therapy/church/tell everyone they know about it including my extended family. I guess I don't know how to deal with this and was wondering if anyone had similar experiences or advice? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Babydoll_13 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Well let me tell you this, I have depression as well, but before my depression was a huge issue I noticed my lack of interest, no desire and not sexual attraction(before I knew what it was called). Just because you're depressed doesn't mean you aren't asexual and just because you're asexual doesn't mean you're depressed. In all honesty, finding out that I was asexual helped my depression quite a bit, I'm still at a dangerous level but I'm better because of this. Just, don't worry. Depression and asexuality aren't a package deal. Both involve how you feel but only one is a chemical imbalance. You can't control your depression totally because there is scientific results that the chemicals are wacked out, but being asexual is who you are. So don't worry. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 As long as you don't experience sexual attraction, no matter the reason, would you still be asexual? Yes Asexuality doesn't have qualifiers like that. We don't even know what would "normally" cause asexuality to occur, so it's not like we have a standard to base against. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Feathers Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 It's likely a complicated issue, but Philip said what I was thinking. Depression, self-image, self-esteem, fear of the unknown, anxiety, low libido, etc can all probably result in a lack of desire for sex. To me that would fall under asexual regardless of the cause. That said, sexuality is fluid and maybe in a month/year/decade from now you will feel a desire for sex. We cannot know what the future holds, and we shouldn't try to hold on to the present too much. For now it sounds like you're asexual. That's fine. Someday that may change, and that's fine too! No point in getting hung up on the details or causes unless you believe it to be a problem that may be able to be treated. <3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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