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So...do you think it's possible to have a platonic marriage?


Gemina

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So my bff, who's a dude and also ace has been talking about the concept of getting married platonicly and raising kids, etc, etc. I don't always know when he's joking (he's kind of a bit of a vulcan type person), but do you think that's really a thing?

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Kitty Spoon Train

Of course it's a thing. It's how most of the (non-Western) world actually does marriage.

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(A)rrogant Avian

Yeah, that's a thing. It's not in popular media as much, but that's because people normally associate marriage with sexual or romantic love, but it doesn't have to be.

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Yeah it's a thing, and something I would do in the unlikely event that the right person came along one day.

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If platonic relationships are possible, so are marriages. Marriage is just a word, it means whatever we want it to mean.

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passionatefriend61

I've heard of a handful of people in queerplatonic partnerships getting engaged recently. You can marry anyone you want (assuming you live in a place where same-sex marriage is legal). The government's not checking to see whether you and your spouse are romantically and sexually attracted to each other. (Though I will say the institution of marriage has always been about sex and procreation. It wasn't about romance until very recently. Now, it can be pretty much anything you want.)

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Too Old for this Site

I think most marriages end up being platonic if they last a long time - even the ones that started out being romantic. If you start out as platonic (and you're both OK with that), you're just ahead of the game.

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Totally! Thats what i thought i would do, when the right woman comes along, but being asexual decreases my chances for finding a gal who understands there will be no sex at all, plus most women are not lesbians, but i guess that narrows my options down so my true love will be easier to find among my future partners.

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Hi Gemina

If course you can marry and have kids.

Just make sure you know everything the LAW say about your rights and obligations in your country. The law takes care of the economic obligations in marriage and if you divorce. The does not care about your lifestyle, but economic rights and obligations.

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If it isn't a thing, and it feels right without hurting anyone... Then make it a thing!

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I might end up marrying a romantic partner, but I'd also be fine marrying a platonic friend for the legal benefits. I don't see how the modern civil marriage at all requires romantic partnership. It's a legal and economic contract.

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Sure, I think it's entirely possible. I personally wouldn't do it, but I'd love to exchange rings and have a ceremony with either or both of my squishes. Not a commitment ceremony, but a "we're partners now" ceremony. I'd like both of them to be my partners but not each other's partners, does that make sense? I wouldn't care if they had romantic-sexual partners, though, and in fact, one of them is (romantically) married. But I digress. Platonic marriage is nothing new, and it's totally doable!

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It's a legal and economic contract.

In some jurisdictions, marriage has to be consummated to have legal standing.

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It's a legal and economic contract.

In some jurisdictions, marriage has to be consummated to have legal standing.

What jurisdictions, and how is this enforced?

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The Great WTF

It's a legal and economic contract.

In some jurisdictions, marriage has to be consummated to have legal standing.
Yeah but it's not like the judge sits in the bedroom with a couple to make they have sex before he signs their marriage certificate. There are plenty of weird, outdated laws on the books in every country that no one actually pays any mind to. Heck, in Nevada it's illegal to have sex without a condom.
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In some states it's illegal for the woman to be on top. I don't think that's ever enforced.

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In some states it's illegal for the woman to be on top. I don't think that's ever enforced.

The mind boggles...

Silly people making silly laws...

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Crealityisabeast

Jeez. People are strange. and come as themselves everyday.

But I really hope to find an awesome ace dude and to have that kind of relationship. It sounds lovely.

(I really hope it's possible because I'm kinda talking/emailing this awesome dude who likes literally everything I like, and is, oddly enough, moving into my apartment complex soon. Here's to pipe dreams! :) )

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For me, personally? Absolutely not, because ewwwwwww, marriage. (platonic or otherwise)

In general... eh, why not. Good luck finding someone who's okay with it, though - I guess folks like that are very few and far between.

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  • 9 months later...
GoosePeelings

I'd very much like to be in one, in a way I like the concept of marriage, being loyal and committed, trusting completely and living together, doing things for each other without asking anything for return. I refuse to do anything romantic or sexual, though, which lowers my chances of getting married close to zero.

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Touchofinsight

Possible certainly, anything is possible between consenting adults... Likely no. The current culture I live in (USA) doesn't really support that idea. Hell some states are still having issues with gay marriage and while a platonic marriage doesn't really warrant any real change... I don't see that much support or willingness to change in this toxic part of our culture.


"Failure to consumate the marriage" is still on the official divorce forms in one of the courts in my Area (Sacramento, CA). I can't speak for the rest of the courts but this was a government building from my understanding so ya...

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Waist of Thyme

Some people get married solely for financial reasons, like getting on their partner's insurance plan.

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CaptainKhaleesi

I wouldn't mind getting married someday. I like the idea of loving someone so much that you only want to be with them for the rest of your life. At this point I can't even imagine feeling that way about someone, but it sounds really nice!

My dream relationship would be an asexual one, where we just care about each other a lot and want to spend forever together. If we got married, it would be a fun reception where we go on an exotic honeymoon afterwards with no expectation or desire to have sex. It's just a fun trip with my best friend! I don't know if that will ever happen, maybe it's naive. I can dream though! ^_^

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  • 2 weeks later...
ozzythefabulous

I'd very much like to get married in the far future so if we could have a marriage where there is no need to worry about putting out and being romantic. just that we enjoy each others company enough to spend all our time together so yeah I'd say that platonic marriages can be a thing it just depends on the people involved.

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Elluna Hellen

Sure, why could it NOT be a thing? I haven't heard of it personally, but I'm sure it's a thing people do...

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Well, I can probably imagine a dystopian society where it'd be illegal... But, I wouldn't be too surprised if such society exists in real life :(

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