Has anyone ever had therapy for asexuality or sex/body related issues?

[silvernlilac]

I am seeing a therapist next week who specialises in sex related issues. Its for a problem I want help with which kind of isnt sex related but does involve 'down below' and I am terrified about what it is going to involve. I might have to try dilators and that terrifies me and I dont want to do it. The idea of inserting anything grosses me out. Has anyone got any advice or had any similar experiences?

[Pandoren]

I haven't, but one thing I will say is- stick to your guns. If you consider yourself asexual and you are happy with your own identification, make sure you keep control of the whole process so that she is focusing in on areas you want help with, not areas she thinks you need help with (such as, for example, making you a sexual person). I had one therapist, not a sex therapist mind you, who basically told me that I should make it one of my life goals to settle down with a man and have biological children. Amazingly she looked sad and disappointed when I dumped her ass, despite the fact that in the seven sessions I saw her, she insulted me repeatedly.

[Misanthropy]

Why do you feel the need to change yourself so much?

Sounds like a total wasste of time to me.

Asexuality gives you a lot more free time to do whatever you want XD

Its one less instinct you have to worry about.

And what an awkward instinct it is

[Guest]

^{If you are afraid, you can always ask your doctor not to do this. If it's serious, you can also have MRI done instead. Asked about sexual activity.... you can answer how do you want, you can say about asexuality or not. It depends on you.}

[Guest]

It's been suggested to me more than once, but I wouldn't (and still won't) hear any of that. I'm very glad that neither the social pedagogue nor the psychiatrist I've been seeing in recent years show any intention of pushing me in such a diection.

[silvernlilac]

Why do you feel the need to change yourself so much?

Sounds like a total wasste of time to me.

Asexuality gives you a lot more free time to do whatever you want XD

Its one less instinct you have to worry about.

And what an awkward instinct it is

I am not trying to change I just want to be able to deal with something in a different way which unfortunately involves therapy to address my issues. Anyway forget I ever asked :(

[Heart]

Why do you feel the need to change yourself so much?

Sounds like a total wasste of time to me.

Asexuality gives you a lot more free time to do whatever you want XD

Its one less instinct you have to worry about.

And what an awkward instinct it is

I am not trying to change I just want to be able to deal with something in a different way which unfortunately involves therapy to address my issues. Anyway forget I ever asked :(

Dealing with doctors is incredibly difficult... I can understand the frustration and anxiety about them now knowing about asexuality. It's difficult to deal with someone who is supposed to know better than you, who is in a position of authority, and to know that they don't actually understand the full picture.

My best suggestion would be to find a way to bring it up. I know it's hard, but just script out what you're going to say long before you go in there and practice it. Then just see what they say. You don't have to do anything else in the actual appointment; it's stressful, so just focus on getting the one sentence out. Then, after the appointment, you can go away and think it over in a quiet, non-stressful environment and see how it went. See if you feel comfortable or if you need to consider finding a new doctor. No pressure, just see how you feel about it. Remember, anything the doctor says or suggests is only their opinion; if you have good reason to believe they don't have all the understanding that they need to properly diagnose and help you, then you are allowed to find a different doctor, and you are allowed to not do what they suggest, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.

[WhenSummersGone]

I haven't but I want to discuss some uncomfortable sex stuff with my therapist. I've been putting it off since I don't find sex important right now.

If you see one I only suggest you stick to what feels comfortable for you. Don't let anyone tell you you should be doing this or that.

[Adogg]

I'm confused as to why a therapist would want you to use dialators. I've been to a therapist who specializes in sex issues as well to discuss my asexuality, and we just talk and problem solve. This seems very odd to me, maybe find a new therapist with less "invasive" ways of helping you?

[Sally]

I am seeing a therapist next week who specialises in sex related issues. Its for a problem I want help with which kind of isnt sex related but does involve 'down below' and I am terrified about what it is going to involve. I might have to try dilators and that terrifies me and I dont want to do it. The idea of inserting anything grosses me out. Has anyone got any advice or had any similar experiences?

If you are asexual -- i.e., don't really want to have sex with anyone -- there is no way that a dilator will help. That is sex therapy for women who are sexual, but aren't able physically to dilate (their vaginas). You certainly don't need to submit to that.

[Guest]

I haven't but I might want to at some point. It kind of makes me nervous too. The only I can tell you is if you don't want to use a dilator don't and like someone else said stick to your guns and don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Good luck!