You know you are aromantic if/when...

[butterflydreams]

Seeing these Facebook posts about "Well. Don't think I'm getting kissed under any mistletoe this year..."

This is actually a concern...?

Seconded. It is?

I don't like to say I hate things, but something that really bugs me is how I'd been told for years how important it was to kiss someone and to have a first kiss and that I was a weird if I hadn't. I heard that message so much, and internalized it so bad, I actually started to feel like crap because I hadn't. I beat myself up for it.

Then I found this place and was like, wait, what? Do I really even want that? No, I don't. Just like when I was 16 and had my first "girl interest". Nothing's changed. I panicked at the thought of having to kiss her then, and I panic at the thought of kissing someone now. I'm actually pretty proud, I told my long time friend last night that I don't expect to kiss anyone ever. He was pretty surprised. It's not "gross" it's just getting a little bit too far inside my personal bubble space. Also, as if kissing is the only way I can show my affection to someone. I'm a visionary and a genius*. If all I could come up with was kissing, I'd be really disappointed in myself.

* = uncertified ;)

[Amoeba-Proteus]

Seeing these Facebook posts about "Well. Don't think I'm getting kissed under any mistletoe this year..."

This is actually a concern...?

Seconded. It is?

I don't like to say I hate things, but something that really bugs me is how I'd been told for years how important it was to kiss someone and to have a first kiss and that I was a weird if I hadn't. I heard that message so much, and internalized it so bad, I actually started to feel like crap because I hadn't. I beat myself up for it.

Then I found this place and was like, wait, what? Do I really even want that? No, I don't. Just like when I was 16 and had my first "girl interest". Nothing's changed. I panicked at the thought of having to kiss her then, and I panic at the thought of kissing someone now. I'm actually pretty proud, I told my long time friend last night that I don't expect to kiss anyone ever. He was pretty surprised. It's not "gross" it's just getting a little bit too far inside my personal bubble space. Also, as if kissing is the only way I can show my affection to someone. I'm a visionary and a genius*. If all I could come up with was kissing, I'd be really disappointed in myself.

* = uncertified ;)

I've kissed someone before. And I have zero intentions of doing that again.

It really grosses me out. And on top of it, it's awfully boring...

I also find saliva really disgusting, so that doesn't help.

I felt like that too. My idea of showing affection is very different from what most people imagine as affection I guess...

[butterflydreams]

I've kissed someone before. And I have zero intentions of doing that again.

It really grosses me out. And on top of it, it's awfully boring...

I also find saliva really disgusting, so that doesn't help.

I felt like that too. My idea of showing affection is very different from what most people imagine as affection I guess...

Yeah, what the hell? Why is it so "normal"? I was always so grossed out by people making out in movies. I just couldn't fathom how the people could be so into it. I've always kind of imagined eskimo kisses being something I'd really love to do. I hope if I'm ever with someone, they'll agree. Or we could invent something totally new. Like, maybe hands over each other's hearts to feel them beat? Isn't that way more intimate and connecting than kissing?

Ok, totally random, but now I'm smiling recalling when I got into an argument with...well, everyone in my micro economics class in college about why diamonds were inherently useless and not worth anything. I was right (of course) but everyone fought me. I think I half conceded that they were good for things like diamond-tipped saw blades :lol:

[fuzzipueo]

Seeing these Facebook posts about "Well. Don't think I'm getting kissed under any mistletoe this year..."

This is actually a concern...?

Seconded. It is?

I don't like to say I hate things, but something that really bugs me is how I'd been told for years how important it was to kiss someone and to have a first kiss and that I was a weird if I hadn't. I heard that message so much, and internalized it so bad, I actually started to feel like crap because I hadn't. I beat myself up for it.

Then I found this place and was like, wait, what? Do I really even want that? No, I don't. Just like when I was 16 and had my first "girl interest". Nothing's changed. I panicked at the thought of having to kiss her then, and I panic at the thought of kissing someone now. I'm actually pretty proud, I told my long time friend last night that I don't expect to kiss anyone ever. He was pretty surprised. It's not "gross" it's just getting a little bit too far inside my personal bubble space. Also, as if kissing is the only way I can show my affection to someone. I'm a visionary and a genius*. If all I could come up with was kissing, I'd be really disappointed in myself.

* = uncertified ;)

I've never wanted to kiss anyone, nor see the point of it really, though I guess those who do it find the whole process stimulating. Since I get most of my information from one of the worst places to get such info, namely, romance novels, I figure a lot of it is exaggerated for the sake of the narrative. However, after having read a number of descriptions of French kissing, I find myself wondering how anyone could get a thrill out of having someone's tongue in their mouth or vice versa. The whole idea is really less than savory and not very sanitary either.

[Amoeba-Proteus]

I've kissed someone before. And I have zero intentions of doing that again.

It really grosses me out. And on top of it, it's awfully boring...

I also find saliva really disgusting, so that doesn't help.

I felt like that too. My idea of showing affection is very different from what most people imagine as affection I guess...

Yeah, what the hell? Why is it so "normal"? I was always so grossed out by people making out in movies. I just couldn't fathom how the people could be so into it. I've always kind of imagined eskimo kisses being something I'd really love to do. I hope if I'm ever with someone, they'll agree. Or we could invent something totally new. Like, maybe hands over each other's hearts to feel them beat? Isn't that way more intimate and connecting than kissing?

Ok, totally random, but now I'm smiling recalling when I got into an argument with...well, everyone in my micro economics class in college about why diamonds were inherently useless and not worth anything. I was right (of course) but everyone fought me. I think I half conceded that they were good for things like diamond-tipped saw blades :lol:

Yeah, I don't get it... There's many other things I can think of that I think are, I guess "sweeter" than kissing.

I don't quite get why THAT, become the big romantic gesture...

I totally don't get the whole diamond thing either. :P

[butterflydreams]

I've kissed someone before. And I have zero intentions of doing that again.

It really grosses me out. And on top of it, it's awfully boring...

I also find saliva really disgusting, so that doesn't help.

I felt like that too. My idea of showing affection is very different from what most people imagine as affection I guess...

Yeah, what the hell? Why is it so "normal"? I was always so grossed out by people making out in movies. I just couldn't fathom how the people could be so into it. I've always kind of imagined eskimo kisses being something I'd really love to do. I hope if I'm ever with someone, they'll agree. Or we could invent something totally new. Like, maybe hands over each other's hearts to feel them beat? Isn't that way more intimate and connecting than kissing?

Ok, totally random, but now I'm smiling recalling when I got into an argument with...well, everyone in my micro economics class in college about why diamonds were inherently useless and not worth anything. I was right (of course) but everyone fought me. I think I half conceded that they were good for things like diamond-tipped saw blades :lol:

Yeah, I don't get it... There's many other things I can think of that I think are, I guess "sweeter" than kissing.

I don't quite get why THAT, become the big romantic gesture...

I totally don't get the whole diamond thing either. :P

I guess that's the positive takeaway; we get to invent our own sweet gestures. Like I said though, it's so pervasive. I wonder how many people out there really don't like it but feel like they have to go along because they feel like they're the only one. If I hadn't stumbled across asexuality/aromanticism I probably would've kept beating myself up and forced myself to do it. Hell, it seems like one of the most common things to see in the asexual community is how people would prefer making out to sex. I'm not too keen on either, but I still want a way to share intimacy with someone (I think).

[Amoeba-Proteus]

I've kissed someone before. And I have zero intentions of doing that again.

It really grosses me out. And on top of it, it's awfully boring...

I also find saliva really disgusting, so that doesn't help.

I felt like that too. My idea of showing affection is very different from what most people imagine as affection I guess...

Yeah, what the hell? Why is it so "normal"? I was always so grossed out by people making out in movies. I just couldn't fathom how the people could be so into it. I've always kind of imagined eskimo kisses being something I'd really love to do. I hope if I'm ever with someone, they'll agree. Or we could invent something totally new. Like, maybe hands over each other's hearts to feel them beat? Isn't that way more intimate and connecting than kissing?

Ok, totally random, but now I'm smiling recalling when I got into an argument with...well, everyone in my micro economics class in college about why diamonds were inherently useless and not worth anything. I was right (of course) but everyone fought me. I think I half conceded that they were good for things like diamond-tipped saw blades :lol:

Yeah, I don't get it... There's many other things I can think of that I think are, I guess "sweeter" than kissing.

I don't quite get why THAT, become the big romantic gesture...

I totally don't get the whole diamond thing either. :P

I guess that's the positive takeaway; we get to invent our own sweet gestures. Like I said though, it's so pervasive. I wonder how many people out there really don't like it but feel like they have to go along because they feel like they're the only one. If I hadn't stumbled across asexuality/aromanticism I probably would've kept beating myself up and forced myself to do it. Hell, it seems like one of the most common things to see in the asexual community is how people would prefer making out to sex. I'm not too keen on either, but I still want a way to share intimacy with someone (I think).

Yeah... if I had to choose from the two of them, I'd pick making out over sex for sure.

I basically did... But again, it was a compromise because he was going without sexual stuff. So it felt like I should compromise a little...

I always had my own subtle ways of showing affection though.

I think I'm repulsed by any form of intimacy, so I was a fan of smaller, subtle things as a way of showing affection or appreciation.

[Star Inkbright]

Seeing these Facebook posts about "Well. Don't think I'm getting kissed under any mistletoe this year..."

This is actually a concern...?

Seconded. It is?

I don't like to say I hate things, but something that really bugs me is how I'd been told for years how important it was to kiss someone and to have a first kiss and that I was a weird if I hadn't. I heard that message so much, and internalized it so bad, I actually started to feel like crap because I hadn't. I beat myself up for it.

Then I found this place and was like, wait, what? Do I really even want that? No, I don't. Just like when I was 16 and had my first "girl interest". Nothing's changed. I panicked at the thought of having to kiss her then, and I panic at the thought of kissing someone now. I'm actually pretty proud, I told my long time friend last night that I don't expect to kiss anyone ever. He was pretty surprised. It's not "gross" it's just getting a little bit too far inside my personal bubble space. Also, as if kissing is the only way I can show my affection to someone. I'm a visionary and a genius*. If all I could come up with was kissing, I'd be really disappointed in myself.

* = uncertified ;)

I've never wanted to kiss anyone, nor see the point of it really, though I guess those who do it find the whole process stimulating. Since I get most of my information from one of the worst places to get such info, namely, romance novels, I figure a lot of it is exaggerated for the sake of the narrative. However, after having read a number of descriptions of French kissing, I find myself wondering how anyone could get a thrill out of having someone's tongue in their mouth or vice versa. The whole idea is really less than savory and not very sanitary either.

I've never kissed anyone, or wanted to kiss anyone, but I guess when I see people kissing/read about people kissing/imagine people kissing, I just imagine the emotions that romance novels etc. have told me people are feeling, so it feels like it feels kind of nice (like, I feel kind of nice about how the characters are feeling it feel kind of nice? :/ ). :P

I don't actually imagine the whole saliva/skin thing, I just kind of imagine the feeling-nice part.

[fuzzipueo]

Seeing these Facebook posts about "Well. Don't think I'm getting kissed under any mistletoe this year..."

This is actually a concern...?

Seconded. It is?

I don't like to say I hate things, but something that really bugs me is how I'd been told for years how important it was to kiss someone and to have a first kiss and that I was a weird if I hadn't. I heard that message so much, and internalized it so bad, I actually started to feel like crap because I hadn't. I beat myself up for it.

Then I found this place and was like, wait, what? Do I really even want that? No, I don't. Just like when I was 16 and had my first "girl interest". Nothing's changed. I panicked at the thought of having to kiss her then, and I panic at the thought of kissing someone now. I'm actually pretty proud, I told my long time friend last night that I don't expect to kiss anyone ever. He was pretty surprised. It's not "gross" it's just getting a little bit too far inside my personal bubble space. Also, as if kissing is the only way I can show my affection to someone. I'm a visionary and a genius*. If all I could come up with was kissing, I'd be really disappointed in myself.

* = uncertified ;)

I've never wanted to kiss anyone, nor see the point of it really, though I guess those who do it find the whole process stimulating. Since I get most of my information from one of the worst places to get such info, namely, romance novels, I figure a lot of it is exaggerated for the sake of the narrative. However, after having read a number of descriptions of French kissing, I find myself wondering how anyone could get a thrill out of having someone's tongue in their mouth or vice versa. The whole idea is really less than savory and not very sanitary either.

I've never kissed anyone, or wanted to kiss anyone, but I guess when I see people kissing/read about people kissing/imagine people kissing, I just imagine the emotions that romance novels etc. have told me people are feeling, so it feels like it feels kind of nice (like, I feel kind of nice about how the characters are feeling it feel kind of nice? :/ ). :P

I don't actually imagine the whole saliva/skin thing, I just kind of imagine the feeling-nice part.

Maybe one of the traits of being an ace is taking things too literally?

[Kellam]

...when you find yourself nodding in the afirmative upon reading almost every post in this thread!

[deltaX]

...when you find yourself nodding in the afirmative upon reading almost every post in this thread!

Pretty much me too! It's good to know we're not the only ones :P

[The Wreyck]

When you're willing to carry on a romantic relationship with a person you care about deeply who happens to be a romantic sexual when you're an aromantic asexual, and you're actually more okay with fulfilling the physical sides of the relationship than the emotional stuff. The emotional stuff is what has the potential to get you down really bad if you're not careful.

[morgaine has won]

When you read through your own meta-stuff for your favourite story/ fandom, and you realize that you carefully left out, relativized or explained away romantic attraction for all characters.

(Seriously, the whole story of Naruto is so decidedly non-romantic that I still find it baffling how people are only fans of it because they're invested in ships!)

[T2Logan]

....when you realize while reading this thread that "crushes" involved more than what you always believed they did. Needless to say I've never experienced a "crush" with my definition or everyone elses' definition.

....when you think of being in a relationship and all the snuggling, hugging, or just simple hand holding or laying their head on your shoulder and all you can think of is "eww, get off me....I have a personal bubble ya know!"

...when your roommates spontaneously start discussing their celebrity crushes in a circle and it comes to you and your first response is to freeze, then to think of an actor/actress in the most recent movie you've watched and blurt their name out.

[Amoeba-Proteus]

When you're on a train, and it stops at a station.

Not your station.

You turn your head to look out the window... and you see...

BAM. Many couples hugging, kissing, crying, etc. each other goodbye.

All you can think is: "Ewh..." *Shudder*, and would rather turn your head the other way towards that guy who's grossly mowing down potato chips loud enough that the next car probably hears it.

[hdfskjfsdshdsajfhaksd]

When you have absolutely no problem with the idea of becoming the crazy cat lady.

When you have to brace yourself for incoming "you dating anyone yet?" questions at family gatherings. You mean well, grandma, but please knock it off.

[Copper]

You know, as much as I identify with asexuality, I think I identify with aromanticism more. Even though I have never experienced either, I think sexual attraction is easier to comprehend than romantic attraction. Like, sexual attraction makes you desire sexual interaction with a person. Whereas romantic attraction means...what exactly? It's much more difficult to define. I could picture myself entering a purely sexual relationship easier than I could see myself entering a purely romantic one. And this is coming from a non-libidoist.

[JohnSC]

I'm only "partially" aromantic so I have only experienced about half the things mentioned in this thread.

For me its when I don't hesitate to tear apart the romantic parts of Hollywood movie plots with rational logic. Plot holes everywhere. XD

[deltaX]

You know, as much as I identify with asexuality, I think I identify with aromanticism more. Even though I have never experienced either, I think sexual attraction is easier to comprehend than romantic attraction. Like, sexual attraction makes you desire sexual interaction with a person. Whereas romantic attraction means...what exactly? It's much more difficult to define. I could picture myself entering a purely sexual relationship easier than I could see myself entering a purely romantic one. And this is coming from a non-libidoist.

I have to agree with this. I think the aromantic part of my orientation is much more important to me than the asexual part of my orientation. Not that I don't identify with being asexual- because I do- but I just identify with being aromantic so much more.

I don't think I could be in a purely sexual relationship. I am equally repulsed by romance and sex. :/

[hdfskjfsdshdsajfhaksd]

When your OTP is something you ship platonically, and you think "no you're doing it wrong D:<" when you see someone ship it romantically.

When you can't go a week without someone asking if you're dating your friend of the opposite sex.

[Satin]

You know, as much as I identify with asexuality, I think I identify with aromanticism more. Even though I have never experienced either, I think sexual attraction is easier to comprehend than romantic attraction. Like, sexual attraction makes you desire sexual interaction with a person. Whereas romantic attraction means...what exactly? It's much more difficult to define. I could picture myself entering a purely sexual relationship easier than I could see myself entering a purely romantic one. And this is coming from a non-libidoist.

I have to agree with this. I think the aromantic part of my orientation is much more important to me than the asexual part of my orientation. Not that I don't identify with being asexual- because I do- but I just identify with being aromantic so much more.

I don't think I could be in a purely sexual relationship. I am equally repulsed by romance and sex. :/

Yeah, I also agree with quite a bit of this. To me, the aromantic part of my identity is much more important than asexuality. This doesn't make the asexual bit unimportant, but I just feel that being aromantic dictates stronger how I will live my life than asexuality ever could. I think if I were sexual but aromantic I would still prefer being single (and possibly celibate), whereas I think I would want a relationship of some sorts if I were romantic and asexual.

Because of this I mostly think of myself as an aromantic that also happens to be asexual rather than an asexual that is also aromantic. I know sexual and romantic orientatoin aren't the same but it almost feels like my asexuality is a logical consequence to being aromantic.

[deltaX]

When your OTP is something you ship platonically, and you think "no you're doing it wrong D:<" when you see someone ship it romantically.

Everytime I ship people it's in a queer-platonic way, but no one else gets that. I think some of my friends think I'm super sexual/romantic because I ship so much, but like, I just really like picking out people that would make good friends. :/

[Guest]

When your OTP is something you ship platonically, and you think "no you're doing it wrong D:<" when you see someone ship it romantically.

Everytime I ship people it's in a queer-platonic way, but no one else gets that. I think some of my friends think I'm super sexual/romantic because I ship so much, but like, I just really like picking out people that would make good friends. :/

That thing ships people too.

[hdfskjfsdshdsajfhaksd]

When your OTP is something you ship platonically, and you think "no you're doing it wrong D:<" when you see someone ship it romantically.

Everytime I ship people it's in a queer-platonic way, but no one else gets that. I think some of my friends think I'm super sexual/romantic because I ship so much, but like, I just really like picking out people that would make good friends. :/

I've got romantic ships, it's just rare for me to ship them with the same intensity that I ship my queerplatonic couples. Cause I know what liking someone queerplatonically feels like! c:

[Kellam]

You know you're aro if you plan your life around alone time. Creating conversations like...

Person: What are you doing for vacation?

Me: I'm goin' to Cape Cod for a week.

Person: Spending some time on the beach...

Me: Nope. I'm putting out ye old "do not disturb" sign on my hotel door and spending four days straight with myself. No conversations, no obligations. Just quiet.

Person: ...? (looks bewildered)

[Guest]

(A classmate walks by)

Friend: Damn he's hot, He'd be a great boyfriend

Me: Damn he's intelligent and has some really interesting ideas, he'd be a great friend

Friend: what the hell, Lauren?

[Eronel]

Excuse me if this has already been posted but:

When exploring your sexuality means sitting in your room and contemplating the different ways you aren't attracted to people

[Alanabeth]

When you're more excited that 14th February is Ferris Wheel Day than Valentine's Day ^_^ Yay for Ferris Wheels!

thats cool and it also when when my birth state was added into the US union. not to mention discount candy for no reason.

[DarkShadow]

When you like to stay in the "friend zone " :)

[fuzzipueo]

Yes, I know better, but when I read freebie romance fiction and find myself hoping that the two MCs don't fall in love ... pokes self in chest with a sigh. Silly 'pueo.