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You know you are aromantic if/when...


confused&lost

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On 01/07/2014 at 5:05 AM, Mademoiselle Pink said:

Wait, this isn't how it works? I'm ashamed to say I'm past mid-twenties...

In the same train of thought:

The other day a friend informed me that having sex with someone you have feelings for is a completely different experience than just getting laid with someone you find hot/sexy. I thought it was a overblown romance novel construct. :redface:

Same! I can't understand romantic obsession, flirting etc,

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... when you find someone appealing until they start romantically idealizing you or somebody else.  Suddenly, you find their behavior bizarre, off-putting, and slightly alarming.

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When the most beautiful girl you ever saw is trying to start romantic relationship with you, and you just run away.

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When you ship everything in shows, movies and books only to realize that when you ‘ship’ something you just actually want the characters to meet and or  become close friends or have a good conversation about something. Idk if that’s relatable, but realizing how important romance was to people (especially shipping in fandoms- like why do you care, they know each other isn’t that enough??) was very confusing and a very aro moment to me. 

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Ehen you get the task of describing your perfect life and everyone included finding a romantic partner while you ... did not.:D

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When everyone at the wedding is crying during the speeches, but you can't stop smiling at the cake.

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1) When you dream of pecking someone on the lips - and you do it again because it felt empty - then you try not to throw up, because you did it two times... And ask yourself, 'why the hell did I do that?!'

 

2) When you think you found your crush - THEN YOU REALISE YOU HAVE THE EXACT SAME FEELING FOR EVERYONE ELSE - AND YOU LOSE BRAIN CELLS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY!!!

 

3) When the feeling of being called 'Best Friend' is better then getting married - being called someones 'lover' - and ANYTHING ELSE!

 

4) When you just want to hug everyone - for no reason - but you don't... Because the idea of someone 'like liking' makes you RUN FOR THE HILLS!

 

5) When love stories sound unreasonably complicated...

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59 minutes ago, ThatHuman said:

2) When you think you found your crush - THEN YOU REALISE YOU HAVE THE EXACT SAME FEELING FOR EVERYONE ELSE - AND YOU LOSE BRAIN CELLS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY!!!

When the guy you thought you had a crush on hugs you, and it feels like you're getting a hug from the big brother you never had.

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I'm not LOL

I don't know. I'd say i'm kinda romantic. Like grey romantic or probably like only in theory. I've had crushes and found it amusing having that boyfriend name in my vocabulary... In terms of myself's daydreams only. I'm more of a daydreamer most of the time when it comes to relationships. I can't imagine myself being in a very very romantic situation. Though, if i watch something romantic, i'd feel like i want it but, like.. It's just disconnected from reality. I do try to think of my crushes though. But it's just a "crush-limit only"

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On 10/20/2017 at 5:21 PM, try again said:

When the most beautiful girl you ever saw is trying to start romantic relationship with you, and you just run away.

Hahahahaha 😂😂 Oh god. I think i'd do the same lol!

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On 6/28/2014 at 7:44 PM, Guest said:

....people around you are going "Yay Valentines day!" and instead you're going "Yay discount chocolate day after v-day!".

I'm the first oneXD since i get the chocolate hahaha! But i never got any. Just candy...

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when you are a big fan of CR7 but don't understand why everyone finds him so attractive

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When you were confused why characters got together in your books like;

 

character: oh damn, we friends.

other character: let's be more.

first dude: k.

 

me: wat? 

 

https://orig00.deviantart.net/0911/f/2013/350/6/e/jontron_face_by_officialmakarov1-d6y8yhs.png

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On 24/10/2017 at 2:55 AM, fuzzipueo said:

When the guy you thought you had a crush on hugs you, and it feels like you're getting a hug from the big brother you never had.

Oh, but that sounds lovely! I'd love a hug like that!  ^_^

 

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1 hour ago, bonny said:
On 10/23/2017 at 7:55 PM, fuzzipueo said:

When the guy you thought you had a crush on hugs you, and it feels like you're getting a hug from the big brother you never had.

Oh, but that sounds lovely! I'd love a hug like that!  ^_^

He is one of the few men who can walk up and give me a hug without me getting stiff and uncomfortable. After I got over that initial realization, the other became much more important. :)

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On 28/06/2014 at 8:17 PM, deltaX said:

OMG, this. I thought I was the only one who did that! :D

Soligomy 😉

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nothinbuttrouble

Happened for me right here on aven. I was totally convinced I WAS a romantic, only to realize the things I was

counting as romance are actually considered platonic. I realized I couldn't tell the difference between friendship

and romance, because friendship is the highest form of relationship to me. This caused me to think my friendships

were romances.

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Am I aromantic? Am I aroflux? Am I WTFromantic? Am I grayromantic? Lithromantic? Cupioromantic?! Aaaaarrrggghh...

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WoodwindWhistler
On 8/26/2017 at 11:55 AM, cinary said:

... when you think "I'll want to have a partner one day" and the older you become the further and further away that day is getting.

 

And when you regret not having relationship back in high school because you'd want to try something less sexual and romantic. (that was me when I didn't know yet that I'm aro ace).

 

That's what Acebook and Christian mingle are for, I guess. XD Also probably some polyamory site, because I think it would work better for aces and aros to explore things with someone who already had those needs met . . .

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WoodwindWhistler
On 10/20/2017 at 2:08 AM, litanies said:

... when you find someone appealing until they start romantically idealizing you or somebody else.  Suddenly, you find their behavior bizarre, off-putting, and slightly alarming.

The Greeks considered eros a literal type of insanity. 

 

 

On 10/22/2017 at 3:02 AM, quietcrayon said:

When you ship everything in shows, movies and books only to realize that when you ‘ship’ something you just actually want the characters to meet and or  become close friends or have a good conversation about something. Idk if that’s relatable, but realizing how important romance was to people (especially shipping in fandoms- like why do you care, they know each other isn’t that enough??) was very confusing and a very aro moment to me. 

Haha, I totally friend-ship people together, too. Well, I do both. 

 

On 10/23/2017 at 8:54 PM, ThatHuman said:

2) When you think you found your crush - THEN YOU REALISE YOU HAVE THE EXACT SAME FEELING FOR EVERYONE ELSE - AND YOU LOSE BRAIN CELLS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY!!!

 

4) When you just want to hug everyone - for no reason - but you don't... Because the idea of someone 'like liking' makes you RUN FOR THE HILLS!

2) Yeah, I don't know since I don't have a very wide social circle, but I think I'm prone to develop emotional intimacy with anybody I click with, and they'd consider it at least semi-romantic or queerplatonic but to me it's just normal. They confide things in me that they don't tell other people. And like, I'm not very guarded. There are some things I don't tell people, but I don't consider that a "more important" part of myself, or that I'm wearing a mask. It's not a huge deal, it's just not applicable most of the time. (Kind of like the discussion someone just had on this thread about facets of personality)

4) I do it anyway (see my poem about cuddling on my profile, haha). Someone right now has a crush on me probably because of that, and as long as they understand it's not going to go anywhere (for various reasons, one of which is I have a bf) then they are welcome to stay around me since it hurts being away. It'll wear off. 

 

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While being in the ship fest of fandoms - you felt like your slowly going insane...

And at one point had a obsession with HAVING to put two characters together - then lost interest in 1-2 weeks...

Tried to write a book - couldn't - or everyone died at the end...

 

I hope that made sense...

 

Oh, not to forget - I totally don't understand how romance works... It's like doing a mathematics equation for me...

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8 hours ago, ThatHuman said:

While being in the ship fest of fandoms - you felt like your slowly going insane...

This drives me nuts really. There is so much more and better fanfic that could be written and everyone is obsessing over who can be paired up with whom - none of which makes any real sense. Give me more crossovers and creative use of the canon and I might actually start reading more fanfic, until then, I'm sticking to original freebies.

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WoodwindWhistler
On 11/6/2017 at 0:52 PM, fuzzipueo said:

This drives me nuts really. There is so much more and better fanfic that could be written and everyone is obsessing over who can be paired up with whom - none of which makes any real sense. Give me more crossovers and creative use of the canon and I might actually start reading more fanfic, until then, I'm sticking to original freebies.

https://www.google.com/search?q=no+romance+tage+archive+of+our+own&rlz=1C1AOHY_enUS708US709&oq=no+romance+tage+archive+of+our+own&aqs=chrome..69i57.7789j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

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I know I am aromantic when I am repulsed by the thought of a coffee date, lunch/dinner date, or even walking together...

 

Sometimes, I didn't hate walking or spending time together, but never thought of developing any sort of relationship and the thought of him wanting me to be more than a friend was gross, even though he was clearly my squish (from my perspective. To him I was just another friend.) I used to be really confused by this, but now I feel like everything could be explained and I no long felt guilty. 

 

Sometimes, I said yes to coffee, only because that person was gay.

  

 

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

I know I'm aromantic because if I was walking a dog, that's all I'd be doing, not looking for a life partner as a side effect! This has been said onsite before no doubt. No subtext, just doing what I'm doing, one item at a time.

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On 11/3/2017 at 7:51 AM, nothinbuttrouble said:

I realized I couldn't tell the difference between friendship

and romance, because friendship is the highest form of relationship to me.

Same here, more or less.  Some variation on this theme for sure.

 

I often want to be in a closer relationship with people I care about--but not a different one.  I just want the same thing we already have to mean as much to them as it does to me.

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When there's a PDA makeout scene in a movie and you're like, "this is gross, you guys should just hug instead"

 

When you're walking and talking and joking with a (opposite sex) friend, and you're confused why people call you a "cute couple"

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On 11/6/2017 at 10:52 AM, fuzzipueo said:

This drives me nuts really. There is so much more and better fanfic that could be written and everyone is obsessing over who can be paired up with whom - none of which makes any real sense. Give me more crossovers and creative use of the canon and I might actually start reading more fanfic, until then, I'm sticking to original freebies.

My ex best friend and I talking:

"If you're gonna do some fan stuff, why not focus on a sweet storyline more than characters kissing?"

"But it's HAWT"

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