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You know you are aromantic if/when...


confused&lost

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binary suns

When you never get how in a show/movie one character is like "oh my gosh I can be myself with them" and that's supposed to mean romance or something???? isn't that just trust?

when you feel you can't seem to fully trust a SO, and it drives you crazy how and why you're falling short

when you realize suddenly, that the last two are related occurrences...

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The only time I got arguably close to a "relationship" was in high school and this guy asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and then didn't talk to him really at all for the month we were "dating" and avoided his calls and being anywhere I thought he might be. This was well before I'd ever heard of ace/aro but now it's something I look back on and think was a pretty good sign that romantic things weren't and aren't for me.

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  • 1 month later...

If you're firmly convinced that loving someone unconditionally, addictively, beyond reason and to the point of destroying youself doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

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When you get extremely angry at the movie makers of Brother Bear 2 for putting more value on a romantic relationship than their BROTHERSHIP. So so angry.

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The only time I got arguably close to a "relationship" was in high school and this guy asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and then didn't talk to him really at all for the month we were "dating" and avoided his calls and being anywhere I thought he might be. This was well before I'd ever heard of ace/aro but now it's something I look back on and think was a pretty good sign that romantic things weren't and aren't for me.

Sounds like the perfect girlfriend to me! :P That would have made high school so much easier for me... I could point to someone and say, "I'm dating her," and not have to lie my ass off to convince them I am unavailable.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey I miss this thread, lets bring it back :D

You know you're aromantic when your cousin asks if there are any datable guys in your classes this year, and you can't even figure out a reasonable what to answer that.

You know you're aromantic when hearing your guy friends discuss the girls they are crushing on makes you really uncomfortable, because now you're worrying that some guy out there is talking that way about you.

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Hey I miss this thread, lets bring it back :D

You know you're aromantic when your cousin asks if there are any datable guys in your classes this year, and you can't even figure out a reasonable what to answer that.

You know you're aromantic when hearing your guy friends discuss the girls they are crushing on makes you really uncomfortable, because now you're worrying that some guy out there is talking that way about you.

I have a sorta solution to that one... My initial answer would be "Probably." Then when they use some variation of "What the hell does that mean?" I just respond with "Well, I don't know what your preference for 'datable' is. I can't give you a proper answer." Then, they will probably give you a definition which you can use to gauge the 'datability' of classmates.

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when you're afraid to show all the affection you want to your friends because they're 100% gonna think you want anything in return from them besides the same acceptance they've shown you so far

Wow. This might just be a prefect description of how I feel. Does this make me aromantic then? I get the feeling I've been confusing romantic relationships with close friendships.

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Phantasmal Fingers

"Who's your favourite actress?"

Camilla Horn

"Camilla Porn! Is she raunchy?"

No. Camilla Horn! She was fabulous. She had amazingly glittery eyes. She said everything anyone could ever say just with her eyes.

:unsure: "But she does speak, right?"

Well, she did before she died - mainly German. She was in a lot of those German expressionist silent films in the 20's. Like Anna May Wong. Although she was Chinese American. She also had amazing eyes.

"Anna May Who?"

No, Anna May Wong. Actually, she died in the mid 50's.

:wacko:

< Ah yes, I remember now - I'm aromantic! >

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Amoeba-Proteus

Feeling your stomach turn when some couple kisses within visibility.

Gagging if a tongue is also visible.

Cringing when you hear "I love you".

That instinctive eye twitch you get when someone snuggles their head into someone else's neck across from you, while you're at a group lunch/dinner.

When someone tells you about the "cute romantic thing" they did that weekend, and you can only think "that's disgusting..."

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Does this work for aromantic inclinations?

When you pick up a book which looks interesting only to put it down again when you read the synopsis that includes the terms "the gorgeous/beautiful" ___female character (fill in the blank) or the male equivalent thereof?

Not that this stops me from reading romance novels. I'm just very picky about them.

When, in your mid-late 30s you actually contemplate having a baby only to realize that the "father" is a distant concept or totally absent from the scenario. (And to make things out of the real realm of possibility, and because I love to read fantasy, that father was from another universe/dimension so he couldn't be in the picture anyway?)

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Does this work for aromantic inclinations?

When you pick up a book which looks interesting only to put it down again when you read the synopsis that includes the terms "the gorgeous/beautiful" ___female character (fill in the blank) or the male equivalent thereof?

Not that this stops me from reading romance novels. I'm just very picky about them.

I am also very picky about romance novels. I do read them occasionally if I am in the mood, but normally I try to find books with the least about of romance possible.

Also, today I found an article where someone did a study on which schools in my area have the most date-able alumni. My college ranked one of the worst, and instead of being disappointed like other people from my school were, I was actually happy. :P

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A friend on here today told me, cold weather is great for snuggling in and cuddling in with your PILLOW. ^_^

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When you suddenly realise that until your mid twenties you believed friendship and romantic love are virtually the same thing except that when you love someone you also desire sex with them. Happened to me a few months ago. That was interesting.

Wait, this isn't how it works? I'm ashamed to say I'm past mid-twenties...

In the same train of thought:

The other day a friend informed me that having sex with someone you have feelings for is a completely different experience than just getting laid with someone you find hot/sexy. I thought it was a overblown romance novel construct. :redface:

I know these are sort of old but what?! Is this how aromantic people think? D: I thought I was sort of panromantic but obviously I have to reconsider this because these quotes are exactly what i've been thinking my whole life.

Wow. My mind is blown. Now that I think of this, I never had any crushes except for one small crush that went past pretty quickly and I think I can blame puberty and hormones for that (or can I?)

Oh, and sorry for being a bit silly, but is it typical for aromantic person to find romance in books / series/ movies/ etc forced or boring? Or is it just common and more to do with poor storylines and stuff than actually aromance? : D

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When you get extremely angry at the movie makers of Brother Bear 2 for putting more value on a romantic relationship than their BROTHERSHIP. So so angry.

I was browsing Netflix and remembered this comment. So I watched Brother Bear 2 for the first time this afternoon. I was in awe at the survival skills the characters had when they were kids. I doubt I could start a campfire as an adult!

Back on topic.

Oh, and sorry for being a bit silly, but is it typical for aromantic person to find romance in books / series/ movies/ etc forced or boring? Or is it just common and more to do with poor storylines and stuff than actually aromance? : D

I know for me it really just depends on the acting/writing skills. Most of the time I can still only tolerate a romance if it's only one part of the plot, and not the entire storyline.

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When you suddenly realise that until your mid twenties you believed friendship and romantic love are virtually the same thing except that when you love someone you also desire sex with them. Happened to me a few months ago. That was interesting.

Wait, this isn't how it works? I'm ashamed to say I'm past mid-twenties...

In the same train of thought:

The other day a friend informed me that having sex with someone you have feelings for is a completely different experience than just getting laid with someone you find hot/sexy. I thought it was a overblown romance novel construct. :redface:

I know these are sort of old but what?! Is this how aromantic people think? D: I thought I was sort of panromantic but obviously I have to reconsider this because these quotes are exactly what i've been thinking my whole life.

Wow. My mind is blown. Now that I think of this, I never had any crushes except for one small crush that went past pretty quickly and I think I can blame puberty and hormones for that (or can I?)

I wouldn't go as far as saying aromantics generally think that way but I've seen similar tales being told here so there might at least be a somewhat common pattern. But honestly, it's an easy mistake for aromantics (but also greyromantics): If you don't know how romantic love feels like but know that it's a very real thing you're left to fill the blank space by yourself. It seemed obvious to me that (strong) friendship and love are the same thing minus sex... because from outside all I could see is that in both cases you're very close to that person, they're an important part of your life, and of course, you only want the best for them.

Oh, and sorry for being a bit silly, but is it typical for aromantic person to find romance in books / series/ movies/ etc forced or boring? Or is it just common and more to do with poor storylines and stuff than actually aromance? : D

I don't think it's typical. Maybe there is some correlation but there are plenty of romantics who absolutely loathe romantic stories/gestures and aromantics who love it as long as it doesn't involve themselves. I personally don't find enjoyment in them very often.

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When upon hearing a coworker has a crush on you, you hide in the bathroom for 4 hours <.<

Similar story... Found out a friend's sister had a crush on me, and I hid under my bed for a few hours. Not because she was around at the moment, but, under the bed was a quiet place where I could have an anxiety attack in peace.

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Hmm... Never thought of it that way, but perhaps I do think it is dangerous... I always described my feelings for romantic and sexual attraction akin to skydiving. As in it is something some people enjoy, but, I (and hopefully I the person I am talking to) does not. Perhaps I go to that explanation because I subconsciously perceive it as dangerous. It certainly is a fear response to it.

Though, the girl in question did turn out to be a stalker crazy person, so maybe that case was specific to that person.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Not knowing if two characters are flirting or not; highly confusing!

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Not being sure if being drawn to this girl makes you lesbian.. Or if it's just because you don't differentiate between sex and gender for intimate friendships and cuddles.

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When you're out with a bunch of girl friends, and you're the absolute last to realize that the guy who was talking to us half the night was talking to us because he was romantically interested in one of my friends.

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When you picture your life stretched out in front of you... and there's no events like 'Wedding' or 'Honeymoon' or 'Anniversary' planned.

People actually plan anniversaries? Like before beginning the actual relationship?

People ask me if I've got a boyfriend and I'm like "no, never had" and people are like O__O and I want to add "and never will have". And then people are like "well, you'll find someone" and I'm like "naaahh".

My usual answer is "I hope not." Ain't nobody got time fo' that!

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When you think you've found the person who could be your soulmate--if you actually believed in romantic notions like soulmates--but as time goes on you realize that you really don't know if you want this whole relationship thing like he wants it. You want to be best friends with him, you want him as a partner, but there's a distinct difference in the type of partnership you and he want. You just want him by your side forever. And he wants to have a lovely courtship and marriage and all that odd lovey stuff.

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When you break up a relationship due to the sensuality or the sexuality or the strings. You run the other way. You miss the person but not enough to give up the freedom to be yourself.

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