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confused&lost

You know you are aromantic if/when...

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confused&lost

Please, feel free to write whatever comes to your mind (thoghts feelings, experiences...) that tells you you are aromantic...

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TheBeatlesPkmnFan42

Well, the way I realized was that I had never been interested in anyone romantically, not ever in my life. I never had crushes, not on people I knew, not on celebrities, not on fictional characters, on no one.

That's pretty much how I found out. I recently graduated high school, and throughout all those years never once was romantically attracted toward anybody. And here pretty much everyone in high school was dating or at the very least had a crush or was interested in someone, but not me.

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Guest

....people around you are going "Yay Valentines day!" and instead you're going "Yay discount chocolate day after v-day!".

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Minim

...when everyone around you is like "boyfriends" and "marriage" and all of that kind of thing, making the blank wall look more interesting than them.

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warrigan

...when you read a tumblr questionnaire that asks "do you want a boyfriend or a girlfriend?" and your instinctive response is "no." :P

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Wokgran X

When you stop reading Harry Potter because it's too romantic to handle.

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deltaX

...As a little girl, you dreamt of your wedding, but there was no one in it but you.

OMG, this. I thought I was the only one who did that! :D

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Satin

When you suddenly realise that until your mid twenties you believed friendship and romantic love are virtually the same thing except that when you love someone you also desire sex with them. Happened to me a few months ago. That was interesting.

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float on

when you're afraid to show all the affection you want to your friends because they're 100% gonna think you want anything in return from them besides the same acceptance they've shown you so far

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Literary X

...As a little girl, you dreamt of your wedding, but there was no one in it but you.

OMG, this. I thought I was the only one who did that! :D

Nope, you're not the only one! ^_^ When my aunt told me there was supposed to be a groom, I cried.

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warrigan

when you're afraid to show all the affection you want to your friends because they're 100% gonna think you want anything in return from them besides the same acceptance they've shown you so far

oh my gosh, this is me SO MUCH.

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Mademoiselle Pink

When you suddenly realise that until your mid twenties you believed friendship and romantic love are virtually the same thing except that when you love someone you also desire sex with them. Happened to me a few months ago. That was interesting.

Wait, this isn't how it works? I'm ashamed to say I'm past mid-twenties...

In the same train of thought:

The other day a friend informed me that having sex with someone you have feelings for is a completely different experience than just getting laid with someone you find hot/sexy. I thought it was a overblown romance novel construct. :redface:

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Zash

You respond to the question "Would you be single for the rest of your life for a million dollars?" with "I don't have a million dollars... Can we negotiate?"

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deltaX

You respond to the question "Would you be single for the rest of your life for a million dollars?" with "I don't have a million dollars... Can we negotiate?"

A million dollars and being single for life? Isn't there no downside to that scenario? :P

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DarkDragonn

When it isn't until your closest friends tell you about their romantic loves in detail that you realize that yes, romantic love really is a thing despite what you've believed up to now.

It's just not a thing you experience.

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Corretto

I've only recently discovered that my aromantic orientation has made a romantic-sexual relationship inaccessible. Since my late-teens I became aware I couldn't keep up with the [few]

mates I had. I blamed myself for this failure, and succeeded in ignoring and hiding it while I attended 'varsity. I felt I couldn't achieve a 'normal' relationship due to some incurable and

unexplainable handicap I must have picked-up as a kid.

It's taken 30yrs to find an understanding...recognising aromanticism has helped explain where I've got to and what I can plan ahead. Cia :unsure:

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Copper

When you suddenly realise that until your mid twenties you believed friendship and romantic love are virtually the same thing except that when you love someone you also desire sex with them. Happened to me a few months ago. That was interesting.

...I thought that was how it worked? Oh jeez, time to browse all the romantic orientation threads...

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Satin

You know, back in school I even wrote an essay about how love and (strong) friendship are the same thing minus sex. And then ten years later I suddenly go "ohhh, there was a difference all along, that's why I never got it". Of course I still don't get it but that moment of enlightenment still was priceless. :P

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CokieTheClown

Huh.....that's not how it works?

Back before I knew I was asexual my best friend and I decided be more than friends and start dating. The only thing that changed was that we started holding hands and kissing (no sex, I thought i just wasn't ready for that at the time. Turns out I'm ace)

So at that point I thought friendship and love Were the same thing just with one you add the "coupley things".

But now that i am aware of asexuality, i see that there Are relationships that don't involve sex. So now I'm confused regarding everything. I have been considering myself to be a heteroromantoc asexual......but now I'm just confused. What is romantic love then?

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float on

I don't know :D :(

I've said before that it's the desire for a heart to heart connection and people seemed to like that post...

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deltaX

You know you're aromantic if when you are studying algorithms for the stable matching problem, and suddenly you get distracted, thinking "but what if one of the 2n people are like me and don't /want/ to get married? Should an algorithm really force them into engagement like this?"

(This actually happened to me yesterday. Took me forever to get back into studying mode after that. :/ )

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poindexter

When your friend asks you who your crush is and you literally can't think of anyone.

When your religious education class requires you to plan your wedding day and you completely forget about the bride/groom.

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Copper

The crush thing happened to me too. I would pick a random person to be my "crush", so that my friends would stop bugging me to reveal my secret guy.

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deltaX

The crush thing happened to me too. I would pick a random person to be my "crush", so that my friends would stop bugging me to reveal my secret guy.

I'd just pick whatever guy I most recently had a squish on. I literally didn't even realize that these weren't crushes for longer than I'd like to admit. :redface:

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Copper

Like everything about asexuality, I didn't know what a squish was until I found this site. Once I read up on the definition it made a lot more sense reflecting on the few things I thought were crushes.

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