experience regarding name disphoria

[Skycaptain]

Like many here I don't like my full given name, mainly because of the biblical connotations, and it is just too commonplace. The shortened version is just as common. So I often told people to use a nickname I already had, which was fine, I like it and it is at least original. The only problem comes, as Korik when official documentation comes through using your nickname, and someone, such as a bank for example doesn't recognise it. Mind when someone manages to abbreviate my nickname to a farm building I don't like that either. Sometimes you just can't win.

[Dalahast]

I ended up getting a legal name change. I couldn't stand the sound of my own name, so I got rid of it.

For me, it wasn't gender related or anything like that. I just couldn't take another day with that name.

[Rising Sun]

In my country, there are no middle names, but you can have 2 or 3 first names. My 2nd and 3rd first names are OK, but I hate my "1st first name". There is a law saying that you can choose to use any if the first names you prefer. So I used my second name until I was 14 and my diploma wasn't valid because there was the wrong name on it. Suddenly, I didn't have the right to use my second name anymore. My friends use that horrible name. [personal info deleted]
About my family name, I'm not luckier. I can say about the same as Mysticus said. My family name makes me feel like I'm in jail. I carry my mother's name (she is a monster). I'm my mother's thing against my will. One day, she will come and make me want to kill myself again. I have nightmares about it. I need to feel free.
But my country is one of the worst places in the world when it comes to freedom to choose a name. You must have a "valid" reason to change it : if your name sounds foreign, if your whole name is an insult (which doesn't concern names simply starting with something horrible such as "rape"), or if you want to carry a disappearing name. Otherwise, you have absolutely no right to break the tradition. Plus, changing a name is a long and very expensive process.

[Dalahast]

I'm very sorry to hear about the troubles you've had, Time Lady. :(

I'm not sure what country you're from, but in my family no one has a middle name, either. I was given two first names but was always called by my second-first name. Like you, I have a diploma with the "wrong" name on it and it was very difficult to explain. Everywhere I went, official documents like my state id and my voter registration card had my second-first name as my middle name, often shortening it to an initial or omitting it completely.

My name change was easy, my lawyer slipped it in during my divorce (in the state I live in, name changes are a part of divorce) but I know other legal name changes can be difficult.

[Rising Sun]

I'm French. France has now become a backward-looking country compared with the rest of Western Europe, and any try to change traditions is considered as despicable. To give an idea on how far it goes, people don't even have the right to build their dream house and even to paint it the colour they want, because there are strict rules to make towns look ancient. You don't even have the right to paint your shutters blue if there isn't a local tradition of painting shutters blue... Same with changing names. Changing any part of your name in France is considered as insulting your family and your cultural heritage.

I thought that changing name wasn't very complicated in the US ? Or maybe it depends on the State, I guess ?

[Tanwen]

It's easy to change your name in the UK to anything you want - I recently worked with a girl who changed to 'Rainbow Sparkles' as the consequence of a lost bet :D

[Dalahast]

I think it depends on the state, but I'm not certain.

In Illinois, we have to get a judge to approve the change. And there's a process of posting your impending change in the paper so that debt collectors know about it. I guess it's still easier here than other places.

[Spotastic]

Yep. Each state has a different law regarding name changes in the US. Some are real simple. Others take a long process and have strict requirements.

[vervain]

I have a vague memory of reading that the differences are due to the legal status of names in different countries (and presumably between states in the US). The distinction is something like:

In the UK for example, a name is the personal property of the individual who it designates, so it is that person's business if they want to change it. The process is simple since the only justification required is that the individual desires a change. You can change your name as many times as you want. You can also change it back.

In places like France, a name is the unique identifier of that individual, so a name change is the business of the State. The State sets the (restrictive) criteria for what is an acceptable justification, and the process of change is much more difficult since you effectively have to mount a legal case to demonstrate that your justification meets the criteria. For the same reasons, you generally cannot change back if you have second thoughts, or change again.

I find the respective rationale of the two systems interesting, but it is a nightmare if you are from a type-2 area and need to change. A name is such a personal and visible thing... having no autonomy over it is cruelly invalidating of the individual.

[LaMaestra]

Who the bloody hell are the state to dictate a person's life?

One of the few things I like about my country of residence is the complete freedom to change one's name to whatever one fancies (within reason, of course) or even to merely call oneself what one wishes (as long as there is no fraudulent intent).

I either use the name I changed to or my nickname.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

Geez I hat my name as well! It's the boring biblical name I got because someone in every generation of my family 'has to have it' and I was the unlucky one! It doesn't even describe me in any detail...in fact I'm the entire opposite to what it means, but I stick with it. My daughter changed hers though, as her dad gave her it, and he did nothing for her, so she mentally ditched him from the word 'go' and when she was old enough, did a deed poll to change her name.

[deleted_account]

When I was younger I had some issues relating to my name because of gender dysphoria. I legally changed my name. It was mildly terrifying. I'd never been to court before. Even now I still have an irrational fear of courthouses. Later on, I de-transitioned, wanting to be perceived as female again, and so I changed my name back to my birth name.

[MyDogsSpots]

I have no real issue with my first name except that my parents decided to stick an extra e in there so nobody spells it right. My last name however, is something I dislike with an unrivaled firey passion. Not only is it mispronounced by just about everybody, I was bullied quite a bit in my school days and using it to make fun of me was apparently the band wagon my classmates all decided to hop on. I'm 38 now, and though nobody has done these sorts of things to me in many years, I still hate it and do not use my last name unless filling out forms where it is necessary. I don't even use it in my signature, just the initial... lol

[Actaeon70]

My birth name was female, and I didn't like it because it was the butt of many jokes. About 15 years ago I felt I needed to change it, along with my surname. The name I chose is largely seen as male, but in other parts of the world it can be male or female. The fundamentalist church I attended disapproved, saying it was disrespectful to my family (even though my mum was OK with it, and I hadn't spoken to my dad for nearly 20 years), and it was wrong for me to assume a "male" name. Someone directly asked if I was going to have a sex change, but everyone else just talked about it, and me, behind my back. I managed to find information on the internet that my name could be female as well as female, shoved it under their door and walked away.