Good ways to come out to the public?

[MysticMelody]

Okay, so... I've told everyone I feel is detrimental to my life about me being asexual, except my grandparents. Mom knows, but I never put a term to it and adding term to it, kind of scares me, but I'm tired of hiding it. My closest and dearest friends also know. So, I'm comming out on facebook on the 26th of October. I'm thinking of using the asexual flag and just saying "I'm an asexual" as the description... I figured on the comments people could ask me anything they wanted to ask about it. Does anyone have any feedback about this or suggestions? I really want to make this quick. I know it'll cause some issues but I'm tired of pretending and hiding.

[TohruBeni]

I'm thinking of doing something similar. It really sucks that Facebook doesn't recognise being Ace as a thing - it just deletes it, like if you're not bi, het or gay it doesn't care :/

But I'm going in more slowly. I'm going to start wearing a black ring every day, etc. One of the biggest worries is that my mum will brush it off as 'it's just a phase, you'll get over it' kind of thing. At the moment she's kind of knows, but it's being ignored and i think that's why. That way not only has it been years since i've known, i can point out that i've not been hiding it for months, too :)

It might be worth tagging one of the pages when you put up the picture (that's my plan) and then if you get any abuse you'll get way more support? That's my plan so far. It also means all those people who are really confused can just click on the page instead of asking what, let's be honest, are often really stupid/hurtful questions ahaha

I hope that helped ^_^

[quasi-reality]

Hi :) I personally don't feel the urge to come out and tag myself as an asexual. I believe what I do (or don't do) in private is my own business. But I am an introvertic, so I can perfectly understand why some people might want to tell the world who they are. From my observation most people are ok when you come out as homo- or bisexual person, but they complately disregard somebody being asexual - and that strikes me as being mostly unfair. Why is it ok to be sexual in any way and being asexual is unnatural? I just can't grasp it.

You have my respect for what you're planning - it takes a lot of courage, but I am afraid you might get something like "you'll get over it" or "you just haven't met the right person." I'm courios how your mom and friends reacted. Did the accepted it or brushed it off?

The only thing I do that marks me as an asexual is wearing a black ring. I don't have a facebook account, so I can't really advise on this one.

Sorry for my English - not a native :)

[Rye]

I know I might sound pessimisstic, but... do you trust the world cares ?

There are a lot of indifferent people so...

While I condone spreading aven... I have yet to see any positive effect from 'coming out'.

Even people considered open-minded sometimes don't *want* to wrap their head around asexuality...

I dunno why, but I feel we are ahead of our time (reason why I often feel out of place - this forum aside...)

[Xavy]

That's a brave and admirable step to take, good luck if you end up doing it.

[JennS95]

I'm not really one to put my personal life out on Facebook, plus half the people on my friends list I don't really communicate with. I also think there is a difference between being open about your asexuality and broadcasting it to the world. A lot of people can tend to get the mindset that you are just trying to be a "special snowflake" if you start telling everyone and anyone about your sexuality. (I'm not agreeing with this mindset but it is something you will probably face if you come out like that). I would probably just do little things, like you can post a picture of the asexual flag but I wouldn't just be like "I'm asexual." It's best to ease people into these sorts of things, maybe start with just a picture of your ace ring and caption how pretty it looks or something, then if anyone asks you what it is for you can tell them. It will enable you to come out to a larger group of people without making you seem like you are doing it for the attention since you will want people to respect your sexuality.

Good luck :)

[MysticMelody]

Well, my main problem is, yes, I'm introverted... I have few close friends and everyone I care about knows the truth and is supportive... But a lot of people I know are asking me out and stuff on facebook. People I have known for a while... And they just keep trying to force something to happen that isn't going to. I mean, my facebook is only used for people I know in person, whether close or not. I want to raise awareness, because I had the hardest time figuring out why I was simply not feeling anything for anyone. I mean, I'm sure everyone knows I don't feel like a "Special snowflake," as you call it, because my last status update was from March. I barely ever say anything out in the open unless I feel it is really important... And to me, it's annoying to keep lying to everyone. I am sick of pretending to be streight just because these people I barely even see might judge me. My facebook is private, so people that search it can't just know who I am. I don't even have my icon as a picture of myself. I don't have any coworkers as friends there and at my job you "Can't get fired for sexual orientation" according to my contract. So... I just don't see anything holding me back from comming out to the rest of the people that know me. If they are going to hate me for it, I have the people I love by my side so it just won't effect me if they decide to weed me out. So... It's not a question of if or even when, but how.

On another note, what is an "Ace ring?" I haven't really been out in the community, because I just... don't usually put myself out there like I am right now. Sorry for the dumb question and ramble.

[Onmyouji]

On another note, what is an "Ace ring?"

Some people wear a black ring to represent their asexuality.

[PiF]

I don't see the need or the rush, I would just explain when asked...asexuality should only ever be part of what you are...not all of it.

[Altenheim]

I personally thought about coming out, too. I identify as asexual for more than 6 months now, all the time I kept reflecting on my current and past behaviour to see if this was for real - and I think it is. I'm pretty sure I'm asexual now.

As for the ways of coming out: I've heard of a person before coming out on fb by putting the asexual flag as their cover photo. All they wrote was "Happy Pride!" next to it and I think this is a nice way to come out, it's even more suble than stating you're asexual because this way people kinda, sorta, have to figure it out themselves. This person also got only positive answers...

I personally thought about this but I guess I'm too shy to do that. I've decided I'd start wearing a black ring now, as a start. And if someone asks me about it... well, I guess my answer will depend on my mood!

[JennS95]

Well, my main problem is, yes, I'm introverted... I have few close friends and everyone I care about knows the truth and is supportive... But a lot of people I know are asking me out and stuff on facebook. People I have known for a while... And they just keep trying to force something to happen that isn't going to. I mean, my facebook is only used for people I know in person, whether close or not. I want to raise awareness, because I had the hardest time figuring out why I was simply not feeling anything for anyone. I mean, I'm sure everyone knows I don't feel like a "Special snowflake," as you call it, because my last status update was from March. I barely ever say anything out in the open unless I feel it is really important... And to me, it's annoying to keep lying to everyone. I am sick of pretending to be streight just because these people I barely even see might judge me. My facebook is private, so people that search it can't just know who I am. I don't even have my icon as a picture of myself. I don't have any coworkers as friends there and at my job you "Can't get fired for sexual orientation" according to my contract. So... I just don't see anything holding me back from comming out to the rest of the people that know me. If they are going to hate me for it, I have the people I love by my side so it just won't effect me if they decide to weed me out. So... It's not a question of if or even when, but how.

On another note, what is an "Ace ring?" I haven't really been out in the community, because I just... don't usually put myself out there like I am right now. Sorry for the dumb question and ramble.

See I don't see it as pretending to be straight. If someone tried to ask me out over fb I would just tell them, hey I'm asexual. Just because you don't tell everyone you know about your sexuality doesn't mean you are hiding it from them, I but I get where you are coming from and if you feel like this is something you want to do, then by all means, go ahead :)

And I'm sorry I must have mixed your post with the last one I was on about their ace ring and I thought you said you had one haha. But it is a black ring some aces wear on their right middle finger to symbolize asexuality.

[Certified Cake Decorator]

Totally come out if you want.

But...i din't want to come across as mean...please don't caption the photo "i am an asexual."

People are not "a homosexual." "A gay" "a bisexual"

They are just gay, or bi.

You are asexual, if you are asexual. You aren't AN asexual. I don't know. That just sounds kind of objectifying to me.

I am not trying to be a grammar nazi, i just don't want people to treat you differently without even realizing it. It's a sub-conscious thing, they won't even know they do it.

Best of luck though!

[Comrade Eden]

Lots of people knew that I am asexual before I came out on facebook. The only reason that I came out on facebook was to provide annual support for those who are doing it for the first time, and to raise awareness.

My coming out post was this:

"Well, it's national coming out day again, and ever goes the journey of self discovery. I'm posting this as an note to people who know me and have any interest in knowing how this whole sexual orientation, romantic orientation, gender identity journey is going, and to partake in an event which will hopefully give courage to people who need it, that they will have the strength to be themselves.

I do not experience sexual attraction to people. I don't know if I experience romantic attraction, but I love people in general, and I often want to appreciate people more than they appreciate me. I can appreciate the aesthetic attractiveness of a person of any gender, and I often experience intense desires to cuddle with people (the gender of the person is irrelevant). Also, and I feel like this is relevant, I want (very intensely) to share one-on-one experience (like walking + talking, cuddling, going to random places, et cetera) with many different people; ideally, at least one of these experiences will take place on a cloudy, windy, cold-ish day. I do not know what gender even is.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Happy coming out day, yo."

This can apply just as well to non-coming-out-day posts.

Buona fortuna,

[anotherjessica]

I want to come out during the Asexual Awareness Week to parents/friends/other family members with a PowerPoint so I can give them information and other stuff to explain what asexuality and aromanticism is plus anything else I need to mention. I probably will email my two closest friends since one is living out of the country until June next year and the other lives in a different state. At first I thought it didn't matter whether people knew of my orientation, but I just want my mum to stop saying things like "One day you'll bring home a boyfriend" and my friends always asking for my thoughts on what I find 'hot' in guys because I'm tired of it.

Since there's a few months until Asexual Awareness Week, I might upload the PowerPoint (haven't started it yet) on here to ask others if there's anything I missed in the PowerPoint to ensure I covered what should be covered.