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MoxieMinmo

On being sex-repulsed

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So, I'm pretty sex repulsed and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be. Because doesn't that fall into a stereotype? And I just feel like everyone would be be like 'Ha ha! Of course the asexual is sex-repulsed!' But I'm also mainly sex-repulsed my males. Like just thinking of a penis or semen makes me shudder. At least girls are familiar territory. It's also why I can never get into male-male shipping because too many penises! One is bad enough but two? Eeeek! So, I was wondering if anyone else was like this?

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I am also repulsed.

I don't think it matters at all if someone happens to fit into a stereotype or something like that. I think we should all just be comfortable with who we are. If someone wants to laugh or make fun of us because of it, that's fine.

"Be yourself" and compatible people will flock to you. Haters gonna hate anyway

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There's nothing wrong with being sex-repulsed. The important thing is to be true to yourself. It can be easy for any of us worrying about 'falling into the stereotypes', and not be taken seriously as a result. Some efforts at asexual visibility, when trying to debunk the misconception that all asexuals are repulsed end up throwing the repulsed asexuals under the bus in the process. Blanket statements need to be avoided. Some asexuals are repulsed, some aren't, and they are equally valid.

I've heard some people inside and outside the asexual community say that 'true asexuals' are indifferent to sex, others say that 'true asexuals' are repulsed! It's an unwinnable situation to navigate through. -_-

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I'm not sex-repulsed. But there is nothing wrong with being sex repulsed. Don't care about stereotypes, just be yourself! You can be repulsed and be ace or sexual (because I know people who are straight sex repulsed and ace people who like the feeling of sex). Don't worry about that and just be who you are.

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If it becomes something presenting itself in a badgering manner, I get unamused and either annoyed or repulsed.

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I'm not exactly repulsed in the same sense. I don't mind other people having sex, or watching some kinds of porn, reading about sex and stuff doesn't bother me in the least, but just so long as it doesn't involve me. Then I'm a "pillow queen" as far as my participation is concerned. I think it's uh... "icky" and kinda like a chore, but not precisely "repulsed" I'm rather neutral on the whole process where I'm involved. Big thumbs up for others, meh for me. Each and every single person is going to have slightly different opinions on sex, there's no right way or wrong way to view it. You're you, and that's all that matters~

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Theres nothing wrong with that really. I think theres too many sterotypes out there too try to avoid them. Im not too repulsed by actual human anatomy or anything but sexualization and the act of sex itself is a very big nope in my book. Nope nope nope bleh. Fitting stereotypes against asexuals isnt inherently bad anyway. Like the stereotype that asexuals are eternal virgins: i fit that but the thing is, while sexual people somehow think thats a bad thing, it really is not. and you arent alone so dont worry

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I'm very repulsed, mainly by being that close to another person I couldn't bear it and the genitals, physical touch and weird expressions and noises.

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Don't worry, I'm repulsed as well, sex is natural and all- but it just grosses me out! I'm indifferent to the concept of sex but it's a big nope if I have to SEE it. I'm probably more repulsed with the female body than male, I mean the female body's all lumps and bumps and holes- ECK! But I'm also freaked out by male "bits" as well. I guess the lesson is, all genitals are gross :P

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I think it's great there are so many different types of asexuals, I don't think asexuality would be half as interesting as it is if there was just one definition of asexuality and the different labels of asexuals.

I don't really know what I am in terms of sex repulsed, or not. I am really not interested in sex or in what the genitls of the person look like (I personally think genitals are just as ugly as all the other parts of the human body....), but because I'm not used to seeing people naked, when I do, it's a bit of a shock. If you ask me, I think people look much better in clothing than they do when they're naked, one time when I saw a picture of someone who was naked I just couldn't stop thinking how much better they'd look in clothing. :lol:

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I am sex repulsed too. I find it is annoying that sex is EVERYWHERE around me and i can't stand this.. When i try to open tv i always see sexual activites and all series have parts from it. Sometimes it can ruin friendships too cause people can't understand us or make fun of us or some who understand us are so sexual and tell us so many details about their lives that we can't hear at all. It also ruins my hope for love or relationships cause people say to me that i have to deal with the sex part in order to have a bf unless we can't have love without sex.

I can also feel repulsed about the action. Male genitals are a big no for my eyes, i don't want to have any interaction with them. I am not so repulsed about female genitals , i am indifferent but i don't want to use them for any activity. Well maybe cause i am a girl and i am ok about having it. Semen or liquids are so disgusting too, i don't know how sex is a romantic or cute thing.

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I´m strongly sex-repulsed, I could even say sex-traumatised. It is mostly because of the way how sex is used in this society - no love, no care, only selfish fucking for the sake of fucking, here and now, and if a woman doesn´t want to be basically a sex toy for a horny man, she "must be a lesbian". :wacko::angry:

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I´m strongly sex-repulsed, I could even say sex-traumatised. It is mostly because of the way how sex is used in this society - no love, no care, only selfish fucking for the sake of fucking, here and now, and if a woman doesn´t want to be basically a sex toy for a horny man, she "must be a lesbian". :wacko::angry:

That is how sex is used in this society? What an awful generalization!

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So, I'm pretty sex repulsed and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be. Because doesn't that fall into a stereotype? And I just feel like everyone would be be like 'Ha ha! Of course the asexual is sex-repulsed!' But I'm also mainly sex-repulsed my males. Like just thinking of a penis or semen makes me shudder. At least girls are familiar territory. It's also why I can never get into male-male shipping because too many penises! One is bad enough but two? Eeeek! So, I was wondering if anyone else was like this?

I am repulsed too, though I actually prefer m/m & gay romances, though really I read them for the dynamics and relationships rather than the, erm, action, most of which I skim or skip over anyway, precisely because it's a messy, gross thing to read about (forget about watching it) and don't even talk to me about m/f erotic romances :wacko:! smiley-sick007.gif Gag.

Since coming to AVEN, I've learned to not lump everyone into the same repulsed viewpoint as myself, though, for me, it's a constant, conscious, reminder that there actually are folks who do enjoy sex for its own sake. Of course, I still find the idea baffling ... but that's my problem. :)

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@MadRat I agree.

Personally, I think that there may be some couples that have sex for the sake of expressing their affection and love to each other, but... I've seen so many others that simply want to have a "good time" even if there is no emotional attachment


@Einy About the generalization thing, I mean absolutely no disrespect to sexual people or people in sexual relationships, but for me this is how it comes across sometimes. I've seen many people that seem to forsake sincere, emotional relations for the sake of sexual pleasure elsewhere.

However, I will agree that this is a generalization. We cannot say that all people are one way or another. That would be very unfair of us and inaccurate. But from my point of view, this is how it appears sometimes.

On a separate note, we live in a society that is sexual. For me and some others, we cannot relate to the sexual part of society, so it helps us to let out our feelings about a social system that we vastly do not understand.

I don't think that she meant that everyone uses sex in this way. But sex is used in this way in different situations. But not all situations. So it yes it is a generalization.

I personally don't mean any disrespect, just talking about my viewpoint.

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Thanks guys, I feel loads better! ♥♥♥

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I am sex-repuuulssssed to the max. It's partially due to the sexual abuse I've suffered throughout my life, so in that way I sometimes wonder if I was born asexual or made so from a very young age. I don't think there's anything wrong with my reaction to what I've been through: could be a lot worse, and often is for other people. I have no hate or fear in my heart of anyone; that's not why I'm "done". I am happy to realize that my sexuality or lack thereof does not define "me", anymore than the sexual abuse did. The idea of ever making love again literally makes me feel physically ill, because I feel that now I see through all the bullcrap that goes along with it. Sex is nothing more than the ultimate form of vanity, in my opinion, and oftentimes lead to the ultimate debasement of self. In that way I am repulsed by it; I'm repulsed by the stupid fake-emotional self-servingness of it.

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I´m strongly sex-repulsed, I could even say sex-traumatised. It is mostly because of the way how sex is used in this society - no love, no care, only selfish fucking for the sake of fucking, here and now, and if a woman doesn´t want to be basically a sex toy for a horny man, she "must be a lesbian". :wacko::angry:

That is how sex is used in this society? What an awful generalization!

It might be a cultural thing (I´m Czech), from my experience men from USA, Sweden or Germany were more respectful to me than Czech men, but yes, this awful generalization fits 99 percent of men I have ever met.

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I can't say that sex grosses me out, like when I think about it its like "uncomfortableeee! " not "ew gross" but I can understand being totally grossed out by the idea. I just think sex is odd and I guess thats not considered a repulsion. ...or maybe it is i dont know. I do find male private parts to be pretty gross though

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I´m strongly sex-repulsed, I could even say sex-traumatised. It is mostly because of the way how sex is used in this society - no love, no care, only selfish fucking for the sake of fucking, here and now, and if a woman doesn´t want to be basically a sex toy for a horny man, she "must be a lesbian". :wacko::angry:

That is how sex is used in this society? What an awful generalization!

It might be a cultural thing (I´m Czech), from my experience men from USA, Sweden or Germany were more respectful to me than Czech men, but yes, this awful generalization fits 99 percent of men I have ever met.

Then you must have met wrong people, I come from the similar cultural background as you and most of the man I know really aren't like that :D

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"sex repulsed" and how people talk about it is always interesting on a weird level to me. It always seems like it's the action itself that is disgusting to them and it makes me wonder what I am...?

I mean I'm an aromantic asexual, but the action of sex does not repulse me. Like in a way that I cringe when a sex scene is on tv or anything. When it's used in art or something I have no problem looking at it, studying it, whatever. I read good written sex scenes. I even can go "lol" at something funny that involves sex and share it with my friends. (I can tell you there are pornos out there with "plot" which are HILARIOUS)

But the mere thought that this could involve ME is absolutely disgusting to me. Like drinking a big chunk of rotten milk disgusting. You know how you meet a friend's friend or a stranger when you're out and they are ~weirdly~ friendly to you and ask certain question and you're like "dude, I know where you are trying to go with this"...? Absolutely disgusting for me. I will cut off all contact to that person immediately because I cannot stand that this is what they think about when they see me. I feel abused.

I think about the interaction even days after and feel absolutely dirty and shaky.

So I think I am sex repulsed...? If I think about the heavy reaction I have when it involves me I would even say I'm SUPER sex repulsed. But I'm not repulsed by just sex.... :blink: (of course I'm repulsed by it if it's used to downgrade/hurt someone, but that should be disgusting to you regardless of your sexuality)

Also with the way I could literally just cry if someone asks me for me number or anything else with the intention of a date and getting to know eachother in a romantic way, I think I'm also "romantic repulsed"...? If there is such a thing. But again: Only if it involves myself.

Sorry I was rambling a bit, I hope it's not too abstract for this topic!

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"sex repulsed" and how people talk about it is always interesting on a weird level to me. It always seems like it's the action itself that is disgusting to them and it makes me wonder what I am...?

I mean I'm an aromantic asexual, but the action of sex does not repulse me. Like in a way that I cringe when a sex scene is on tv or anything. When it's used in art or something I have no problem looking at it, studying it, whatever. I read good written sex scenes. I even can go "lol" at something funny that involves sex and share it with my friends. (I can tell you there are pornos out there with "plot" which are HILARIOUS)

But the mere thought that this could involve ME is absolutely disgusting to me. Like drinking a big chunk of rotten milk disgusting. You know how you meet a friend's friend or a stranger when you're out and they are ~weirdly~ friendly to you and ask certain question and you're like "dude, I know where you are trying to go with this"...? Absolutely disgusting for me. I will cut off all contact to that person immediately because I cannot stand that this is what they think about when they see me. I feel abused.

I think about the interaction even days after and feel absolutely dirty and shaky.

So I think I am sex repulsed...? If I think about the heavy reaction I have when it involves me I would even say I'm SUPER sex repulsed. But I'm not repulsed by just sex.... :blink: (of course I'm repulsed by it if it's used to downgrade/hurt someone, but that should be disgusting to you regardless of your sexuality)

Also with the way I could literally just cry if someone asks me for me number or anything else with the intention of a date and getting to know eachother in a romantic way, I think I'm also "romantic repulsed"...? If there is such a thing. But again: Only if it involves myself.

Sorry I was rambling a bit, I hope it's not too abstract for this topic!

I understand what you're saying. There are different degrees of sex-repulsion. One of those degrees is liking the idea of sex in some form, as long as oneself isn't involved, but is completely repulsed at the thought of being involved.

Here are two polls about repulsion, showing the different degrees that it can take:

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/94432-sex-repulsion-poll/

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/102927-sex-repulsion-tmi/

A thread about romantic repulsion:

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/95375-repulsed-by-the-idea-of-being-in-any-romantic-relationships/

I've wondered about romantic repulsion for some time, because of how abstract romance is.

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So, I'm pretty sex repulsed and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be. Because doesn't that fall into a stereotype? And I just feel like everyone would be be like 'Ha ha! Of course the asexual is sex-repulsed!' But I'm also mainly sex-repulsed my males.

Same here ... it's as if you could read my mind.

It's just that I feel out of place for a different reason ... I sometimes think I wasn't supposed to be sex-repulsed because society at large expects me to have a different attitude towards sex.

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I'm not repulsed by sex, but I cant enjoy it with the guys I did it with because I was just doing it for them and I never got anything out of it. It was very weird. It weirds me out if a guy wants to have sex with me because I don't feel that back. I will say this though, I would never ever let a guy cum in me. HELL NO! To me that's very..um...yea so just know its totally ok to be repulsed by sex. I define myself as gray a/demisexual....but as far as nude people go, I have viewed porn before and I can handle seeing nude people but would prefer them to have clothing on. If I had to choose, I would rather see the male body nude then the female....have some cake. :cake::cake:

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These days I am more sex repulsed. The thought of myself having sex grosses me out. I can't even view porn for that long. If I had to choose I would rather see females naked but I would rather see people in clothes. I know what people look like naked, no mystery there, but clothes are more interesting. I like to see colors, styles and all that lol.

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It just feels so alien to me! 872.gif

I just can't imagine myself sexing.

I stumble upon a sex scene and I'm like...

No. I don't see me doing this. EVER. :P

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sex as a whole to me is like a weird fetish i just don't have. like telling someone-

me: "no i am not into anal fisting" o.O

them: "maybe you just haven't tried the right fist......."

um.

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I wouldn't say I'm averse, only visually: the thing is that viewing/watching any images/scenes with voyeuristic content disturbs me (solely in terms of SIGHT). Otherwise I don't have a negative attitude towards sex at all - on the contrary, I do believe it's something normal and natural and it's part of (most) people's lives, just like eating. (the fact that it's not for me as in I have no desire for it at all is a different matter, for there's at least one exception to everything, right?) Therefore, if one does have desire for it, they shouldn't have restraints from acting accordingly (so long as they don't disturb the others, of course). So I really don't understand why some tend to regard it as sinful and devilish-temptation-related. Because after all, unless one cheats on their partner, molests, or worse, rapes, sex is something that doesn't harm anyone! Nevertheless, ever since a long time before I had become aware of my own orientation, I'd developed the following concept: one gets pleasure from sex when they actually HAVE it, not when they SEE.

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If there is a gray area between sex repulsed and sex positive, I guess it would be sex neutral and that is what I could call myself - although I am definitely leaning more towards repulsed than positive.

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I totally get you on the penis thing. Dicks are weird, man. And I don't think you should worry about falling into a stereotype. Chances are you'll follow some stereotype or confirm someone's prejudices no matter what you do. We can't spend all our time worrying about it or we'll never do anything.

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