Chewy Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Without the ability to see, a blind person develop senses that a seeing person might not develop. Do you see any thing that an Asexual person might develop, that might be superior to a sexual person, due to the absence of sexual desire with others? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 maybe an asexual person is more likely to develop hobbies? it's hard to say tho, because when we talk about emotions and interests rather than the countable 5 senses, it's possible for anyone to do anything they want sexual or no. with infinite possibilities, anyone can do as broadly or as focused of things as they want. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 An asexual person may be much more likely to instinctively know the difference between love and lust. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Perhaps we have a more heightened sense of the value of friendship in general. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StoneMoon Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 An asexual person may be much more likely to instinctively know the difference between love and lust. Or come to the conclusion that there's only "one" feeling of love that is coloured by different types of attractions, no different types of love. :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 We get to see more of humanity as simply human instead of having our thoughts clouded by sexual desire. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Without sexual investment, we're more likely to see the entirety of a person's expression rather than focus on their rump Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Logic. Asexual people, particularly aromantics but the romantic ones too, are not hindered by what the body says they should be doing...there's no 'this guy is a prick but damn is he good in bed, so I'll stay with him'. When the attachment stems from only the emotional, ones body and hormones cannot contribute to absolutely idiotic situations like staying with an abusive partner because "I love him". Not to say that people without sexual attraction and desire cannot also fall into stupid behaviors like this, but it is far less likely without the biological interference. Asexuals develop a much better sense of relationship logic. I find we also tend to see the world less in terms of what gender perception...we're less likely to be the girl thinking 'all guys just want to watch football and bone' or the guy thinking 'girls just manipulate you into buying them stuff then throw you to the curb'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chewy Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 Logic. Asexual people, particularly aromantics but the romantic ones too, are not hindered by what the body says they should be doing...there's no 'this guy is a prick but damn is he good in bed, so I'll stay with him'. When the attachment stems from only the emotional, ones body and hormones cannot contribute to absolutely idiotic situations like staying with an abusive partner because "I love him". Not to say that people without sexual attraction and desire cannot also fall into stupid behaviors like this, but it is far less likely without the biological interference. Asexuals develop a much better sense of relationship logic. I find we also tend to see the world less in terms of what gender perception...we're less likely to be the girl thinking 'all guys just want to watch football and bone' or the guy thinking 'girls just manipulate you into buying them stuff then throw you to the curb'. I would not discount the power of emotional bond. I don't guess people stay in abusive relationships largely because someone is good in bed. It's because the person have developed an emotional reliance on the other person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 The blindness analogy could hold true for a few things... Not being able to see the cues of an attraction and how to react or feel about it... The social cues to sex and what not... Hmm... There's a reason the blindness analogy holds with social disability... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Adogg Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Perhaps we have a more heightened sense of the value of friendship in general. Absolutely this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Adogg Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Freedom from all the strife, controlling, and general bull shit that goes on with normal relationships and the power to not have sex used as a tool in a relationship to get what the other wants. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Artistofnoname Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I wouldn't say it was wholly impossible. That was kinda the way Sherlock Holmes thought of it. It leaves a space that gets filled with other things. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 brains are a complex thing Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chewy Posted June 26, 2014 Author Share Posted June 26, 2014 We see people's inner beauty. We love them for who they are, their struggles, and their triumphs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 It's an interesting analogy. Hmmm. Well, I won't be general, but instead I'll speak from my experience. I was able to focus on school and studies a lot more, without all those other sex/relationship things to get in the way (I'm a sucker for learning lol!). I also agree with the other posts that mentioned recognizing love as love, not just a sexual/lustful desire. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Chewy, on 25 Jun 2014 - 06:16 AM, said: Without the ability to see, a blind person develop senses that a seeing person might not develop. Do you see any thing that an Asexual person might develop, that might be superior to a sexual person, due to the absence of sexual desire with others? No. There's nothing superior about us or our capabilities; we just don't want sex with anyone. If anything, we may be at a disadvantage because we have to explain to other people that we're NOT interested in sex, and they often don't believe us. That's pretty distracting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Logic. Asexual people, particularly aromantics but the romantic ones too, are not hindered by what the body says they should be doing...there's no 'this guy is a prick but damn is he good in bed, so I'll stay with him'. When the attachment stems from only the emotional, ones body and hormones cannot contribute to absolutely idiotic situations like staying with an abusive partner because "I love him". Not to say that people without sexual attraction and desire cannot also fall into stupid behaviors like this, but it is far less likely without the biological interference. Asexuals develop a much better sense of relationship logic. I find we also tend to see the world less in terms of what gender perception...we're less likely to be the girl thinking 'all guys just want to watch football and bone' or the guy thinking 'girls just manipulate you into buying them stuff then throw you to the curb'. I would not discount the power of emotional bond. I don't guess people stay in abusive relationships largely because someone is good in bed. It's because the person have developed an emotional reliance on the other person. Fair point. I've seen people stay in abusive friendships, so sex isnt the whole thing. Still, there is a hormonal componant to a sexualy atracted persons reasons for chooseing whichever partner they choose...and that subconcious hormonal attraction, even more than the concious appretiation of skillful bedroom practices, was what I was thinking of in the post. It just seems that sexualy active relationships, from the examples I've seen, are always less likely to see logic even when told straight to them. That could just be the people in my area though... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
turtleswithhats Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I think maybe the general idea in society that asexuals dont exist and just need a good lay can lead asexuals to have a heigtened sense of not giving a flip about it. And of self given assurance in ones own self because there really isnt any other options. I think we also place more value on things that are beautiful for non sexual reasons, and on friendships and stuff maybe. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 We get to see more of humanity as simply human instead of having our thoughts clouded by sexual desire. This is how I feel. I see humans without the sexual part involved. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BangBang Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Do we need to find something that makes us superior? I get that maybe we're missing out on a party that everyone else is taking part in and it helps to think we've got our own stuff going for us but I think an us vs them mentality never leads to anything good. We claim we see people better for who they are yet we're here talking about how we're better than them for not being shallow because we don't like sex. Every human is a complex mess whether they like sex or not. We don't need to find reasons why we're better than others, we just need to become secure enough that we don't care. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StoneMoon Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Do we need to find something that makes us superior? I get that maybe we're missing out on a party that everyone else is taking part in and it helps to think we've got our own stuff going for us but I think an us vs them mentality never leads to anything good. We claim we see people better for who they are yet we're here talking about how we're better than them for not being shallow because we don't like sex. Every human is a complex mess whether they like sex or not. We don't need to find reasons why we're better than others, we just need to become secure enough that we don't care. Chewy, on 25 Jun 2014 - 06:16 AM, said: Without the ability to see, a blind person develop senses that a seeing person might not develop. Do you see any thing that an Asexual person might develop, that might be superior to a sexual person, due to the absence of sexual desire with others? No. There's nothing superior about us or our capabilities; we just don't want sex with anyone. If anything, we may be at a disadvantage because we have to explain to other people that we're NOT interested in sex, and they often don't believe us. That's pretty distracting. I don't think anyone was saying we're somehow "superior" to anyone. Everyone's just saying what simply makes sense: If you're not focusing on the same thing as others, you're going to see something else than others, since we can never percieve everything equally. If you're looking forward, you won't see behind your back. So, yes, it makes perfect sense we can sometimes see something that someone else can't because they're distracted by sexual feelings. These things aren't necessarily "better" or "worse" by nature, but of course in some situations the absence of sexual feelings may have a positive impact on the out come. In other cases it may have a negative one. This topic simply has a focus on the positive ones, and I don't think there's anything bad about it, especially since we often feel the negative impact of the absence of feelings that others have. So of course it's important that we balance with focusing on the positive impacts too. It's not about us ALWAYS seeing something others NEVER see, it's about situational probabilities. It's always temporary, and everyone's perception is constantly affected by countless other things but sometimes an absence of one distraction becomes high lighted when the distraction in others has a major impact on how they percieve the situation. We're not idealizing a "quality" in ourselves or looking down on anyone if we point out how something that often brings us problems can sometimes bring something good. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 StoneMoon, on 27 Jun 2014 - 07:13 AM, said: Sally, on 25 Jun 2014 - 8:17 PM, said: Chewy, on 25 Jun 2014 - 06:16 AM, said:Chewy, on 25 Jun 2014 - 06:16 AM, said: Without the ability to see, a blind person develop senses that a seeing person might not develop. Do you see any thing that an Asexual person might develop, that might be superior to a sexual person, due to the absence of sexual desire with others? No. There's nothing superior about us or our capabilities; we just don't want sex with anyone. If anything, we may be at a disadvantage because we have to explain to other people that we're NOT interested in sex, and they often don't believe us. That's pretty distracting. I don't think anyone was saying we're somehow "superior" to anyone. Well, yes, they implied we have superior qualities of some sort. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StoneMoon Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 StoneMoon, on 27 Jun 2014 - 07:13 AM, said: Sally, on 25 Jun 2014 - 8:17 PM, said: Chewy, on 25 Jun 2014 - 06:16 AM, said:Chewy, on 25 Jun 2014 - 06:16 AM, said: Without the ability to see, a blind person develop senses that a seeing person might not develop. Do you see any thing that an Asexual person might develop, that might be superior to a sexual person, due to the absence of sexual desire with others? No. There's nothing superior about us or our capabilities; we just don't want sex with anyone. If anything, we may be at a disadvantage because we have to explain to other people that we're NOT interested in sex, and they often don't believe us. That's pretty distracting. I don't think anyone was saying we're somehow "superior" to anyone. Well, yes, they implied we have superior qualities of some sort. Hmm, I still thought at least most people here were sensible enough to assume that it would be taken as a given that they don't mean we're "superior" in the sense that we'd always/exclusively see what others don't, but simply that they were stating the higher probability for a certain perception under right circumstances, given that other distractions and capabilities with others are the same. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 I think this was mentioned above in different words, but I would say we have a ability to offer true honest and deep friendship with people who give us the chance. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tosheros Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Do we need to find something that makes us superior? I get that maybe we're missing out on a party that everyone else is taking part in and it helps to think we've got our own stuff going for us but I think an us vs them mentality never leads to anything good. We claim we see people better for who they are yet we're here talking about how we're better than them for not being shallow because we don't like sex. Every human is a complex mess whether they like sex or not. We don't need to find reasons why we're better than others, we just need to become secure enough that we don't care. +1 Though I like the idea of asexuality leading you to care for people just for who they are and not for what you're expecting from them sexually, there's something we might be forgetting right there : sexuality IS a part of someone, it's importance can differ from non-existant to "wolfie from the looney tunes", but it is part of the people we care about. Even the absence of sexuallity matters, go on and ask any sexual who found itself interested in an asexual... It's a bit like saying "The fact that I don't like soccer leaves me more time to enjoy reading good books", it's so easy to drift into a sentiment of superiority above "all those dorks who watch the world cup while millions dies...". I kinda feel the same way about the way some people talk about introvert people, more and more shared and shown on facebook, some simply explain "I enjoy that and that more than I enjoy this", some goes a bit further with posts that almost turn into "Meeeh, you extroverts couldn't even try to understand us", and I don't like it when I see asexual people acting the same way... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elasmosaurus Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 For me it's a higher self-confidence since I'm not hindered on the fact that it might get me noticed by people and I have to impress them for a relationship. I dress for me and I dress for comfort.Also the ability to have a conversation that doesn't involve dating and sex in much more tuned, I have a lot more time for hobbies and less time for pining over dead end relationships. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 We focus more on certain non-sexual aspects of people while we equally don't experience some feelings that non-asexual people do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
littlepersonparadox Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Logic. Asexual people, particularly aromantics but the romantic ones too, are not hindered by what the body says they should be doing...there's no 'this guy is a prick but damn is he good in bed, so I'll stay with him'. When the attachment stems from only the emotional, ones body and hormones cannot contribute to absolutely idiotic situations like staying with an abusive partner because "I love him". Not to say that people without sexual attraction and desire cannot also fall into stupid behaviors like this, but it is far less likely without the biological interference. Asexuals develop a much better sense of relationship logic. I find we also tend to see the world less in terms of what gender perception...we're less likely to be the girl thinking 'all guys just want to watch football and bone' or the guy thinking 'girls just manipulate you into buying them stuff then throw you to the curb'. I would not discount the power of emotional bond. I don't guess people stay in abusive relationships largely because someone is good in bed. It's because the person have developed an emotional reliance on the other person. I don't know about this. On the one had i can see us being more sensible on average about relationship stuff because we don't atuomaticlly go I WANT A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH THIS PERSON I JUST MET!!! * But at the same time being emotionally dependent on someone isn't just about getting good sex. and as they pointed out abusive relationships stay together because they want to keep a emotional bond despite it being tainted. * not to say one night stands are wrong. If you wan't to sleep with someone and not enter a relationship that's fine. Im just thinking we won't rush into extremely intimidate situations quickly. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 There've been many threads on AVEN where the OP claims that asexuals are superior to sexuals because we don't let sex distract us from better activities, etc. They usually get slapped down fairly soon by other posters, but the fact that they keep appearing means that some asexuals do have that attitude. We're not necessarily any more "sensible" than sexuals. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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