28516 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 This is (like a lot of these things) quite ambiguous, to me at least.. Anyone care to explain? Link to post Share on other sites
FairlyAngel Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Good question. For me it's "feeling in love" with a person but that's hard to describe too... Link to post Share on other sites
turtleswithhats Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Well the denotation of this word is the desire to have a romantic or emotional relationship with someone. This is kind of the mental personal "love" part of a relationship. Romantic attraction doesnt necessarily imply sex in any way. People can want/have a romantic sexual and relationship. Or can want/ have a sexual relationship without romantic love. People can also want/have a romantic relationship without sex too and there are probably plenty of people on aven who have that kind of relationship who can describe that better than I can. As for what romantic attraction feels like i honestly cant help there. Link to post Share on other sites
Noxana Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 In all my wisdom, I believe that romantic attraction consists of a need for intimacy with another person. Whatever it would mean to you, be it cuddling up to someone close, hugging, kissing or everything that would suggest you crave for being close to this very someone. But it does not have to involve an intercourse. This is a primary fact that distinguishes an asexual from a common sexual. I believe an ace does not emotionally need an intercourse. However, those are merely the physical signs of emotional attraction. The idea lies much deeper, it's connected to the very need of your soul, to stay closer to someone, to appreciate their presence, to live their lives, to be one in two bodies. Many people do not actually experience this sort of thing (which is almost impossible to comprehend for me, because I'm an extremely romantic individual), or have not yet met somebody they would wish to share their intimacy with. That's the thing with my friend, he's 19 and has never had a girlfriend; moreover, he considered himself aromantic (and would even have described himself asexual, also, if it only didn't come that he discovered the furry fandom). But recently I made him meet a female friend of mine and they started chatting a lot -- lately, he even fled from our rendez-vous, explaining he wanted to chat with that girl this evening! I thought I'd explode, hearing this from an old chap of mine who never stood to any contacts with girls. Remember that you can lecture yourself with all the knowledge you can acquire by AVEN community or everything else you find interesting around the web or in your library. But in the end, it is you who can only answer your question and you have to decide by yourself what do you understand as "being romantic". There's nothing wrong in a different perception of the idea! Link to post Share on other sites
Cereal Tendencies Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 For one, its important to know that romantic attraction does not automatically include sensual attraction (the urge to hold hands, cuddle, etc.) or the desire to tell your feelings; it is only an emotion but commonly includes those two being felt as well. You can have sensual attraction to a platonic friend or not desire romantic reciprocation at all, which is called Lithromantic. Do examples in media help others understand what it is? Link to post Share on other sites
Noxana Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I hope this helps That, my good lady. Exactly this. It feels like I've been looking for such an accurate and simple description of all these complex terms and issues for years. Would be also a good riposte for everyone who calls two hugging men faggots. Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 This thread has been moved from Asexual Q&A to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations. Heart Asexual Q&A Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 When I feel I'm romantically attracted to someone I have a desire to ask them out on a date. I'm interesting in dating them and less hanging out with them as a friend. I feel I'm more "in love" with someone compared to just liking them a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."― Bob Marley Link to post Share on other sites
Luna394 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I've struggled with this myself quite a bit, but I think I'm finally beginning to understand. For me I'm attracted to women sexually and romantically, but very rarely do I experience attraction towards men. For me romantic attraction is not so much the emotional intimacy, because I feel closer to my best guy friend than anyone else I know; but I get a bit uncomfortable if I try to imagine us say kissing, snuggling in bed, or holding hands. These things aren't inherently romantic, but if I try to imagine myself in a romantic relationship with him, I feel uncomfortable. How I came to realize this wasn't romantic was and still is a long process, filled with lots of introspecting, and it is very frustrating to try to understand something without a reference point. I try to imagine the most cliche romantic scene from movies and place myself in that situation. And if that doesn't help, I try to see if i could honestly see a future with him. How I came to understand that I did like women romantically was that I could happily, and easily see myself in a cliche romantic scene with a woman. And marrying a woman is a comforting thought for me. Something that has helped me to better understand my feelings is analyzing how i feel when I say "I love you" to various people. I never say or write this lightly, and I always genuinely mean it when I say it, but my feelings are significantly different towards different people. If I wasn't worried about leading him on, I would happily and effortlessly sign love on my best guy friends birthday card. I could compare my love for my friend to my love for my brother. However when signing my female friend's cards (who I now realize I have a crush on) I can feel a heavy pull in my chest near my heart, and I feel reluctant to write it because I know that this love I feel for her is a very strong feeling that isn't the same love that she feels for me. When I write love on her cards I feel as if my entire soul is poured into those words and I feel extremely vulnerable, I guess this love, or this feeling is considered romantic. Platonic love can be just as strong or maybe even stronger than romantic love. But I guess the best way I can describe romantic attraction is that I can't. Its different for every individual, but the best description I can can give is comparing it to platonic love, and at the core, it is just recognizing difference in gut feelings. I know this probably isn't the answer you were looking for but maybe my examples can help someone to better understand themselves But then who I am to tell you what romantic attraction is; I'm just a girl on the internet who has never been in a relationship, so what do I know. Link to post Share on other sites
biace_inyourface Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 This is something I've also wondered about extensively. Especially since it's not very often that I experience romantic attraction. Where do you draw the line between friendship and a romantic relationship? Particularly when asexuality is thrown in the mix. Personally, I'm a very introverted person and prefer to spend most of my time alone so I know I'm attracted to someone romantically when I want to spend a lot of time with them. I guess it's just when there's something completely different about how you think about one person compared to how you see the rest of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
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