Oral sex (TMI )

[Guest]

I don't think oral sex is the most intimate thing between two people. Just deep kisses are more intimate. I think just a simple kiss on genitalia would be better than licking them, no matter if the one wears underwear or not.

I agree!

[transformer1903]

Everything can be intimate if it's done with a lot of love :D I spent some time in Japan, and over there the older generations especially don't typically display signs of physical affection, it's sort of taboo to randomly grab somebody and snog them in an airport or whatever. I homestayed with this couple who were very much in love but because they were culturally shy in this way, tried their best not to show it in front of me. Every day the husband would drive me to the train station in Yokohama, and every day at the doorway his wife would gently squeeze his elbow as he was about to leave, and they'd pause and just look at each other. Whenever I saw this I felt really happy, but also as if I'd stumbled upon something very private taht I wasn't supposed to see.

[NapalmNovocaine]

When I was in my late teens/early 20s, and I reached the point where sex was basically EXPECTED, I learned that I could appease the guy with a blow job to avoid having intercourse (most of the time). For that reason, I’ve never particularly minded going down on guys, but it’s usually just the lesser of two evils. On the rare occasion when I’m with someone I’m genuinely attracted to, I absolutely love it.

As for receiving oral sex, that’s trickier. It feels irritating to me if I’m not genuinely attracted to the guy. To add to the irritation, most guys seem to have a very high opinion of their skills in that arena. In my personal experience, only one guy has ever truly rocked my world with that, and I’m pretty sure I never heard him brag about his “mad skills” even though he’s the only one I’ve ever been with who actually had mad skills.

And it’s not that I think it’s “gross” or that I’m self-conscious about my body. It just feels weird (and not in a good way) most of the time. Now. Having to hear about it in graphic detail DOES gross me out. Watching someone simulate oral sex on an object or a food item is laughable, and I’ve had the distinct displeasure of having to watch this nasty man (mentally nasty, but objectively physically attractive) simulate cunnilingus on a slice of pie in an attempt to seduce me. It didn’t work, but I laughed so hard my coffee squirted out of my nose! I think there’s probably a dirty joke in there somewhere. :P

[Guest]

Oral sex seems incredibly repulsive to me, both giving and receiving. I imagine it must be highly uncomfortable. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do it. Considering I'm homoromantic, I guess no relationships for me.....

As I know not all homosexual people like oral sex. It's a popular stereotype on gay and lesbian sex also based on porns.

[marki]

I had a sexual friend give me a load of shit because she just expected all dudes to want to eat her out and I was like " you have a cute face but no way in hell would I ever do that....it is gross and I don't understand the pleasure I am supposed to get from it...who knows how clean you even are there!?"

Let's just say we aren't friends anymore!

[transformer1903]

It must be quite difficult to discuss something you find repulsive without calling it that and coming across rude..

[marki]

Oh....well personally I just say it like it is and to hell with what anyone thinks. I lack a filter to think before I speak so she was used to me just saying crazy things...but this is a girl who I bought a dildo for her birthday because she was all lonely and away in school! It was an odd odd situation.

[vast_ocean]

I do like giving and receiving oral sex (I don't really see why people find it gross etc but that's just my view). I enjoy seeing my partner getting pleasure from it.

[Ineffable Aardwolf]

Hmm... I don't really understand why so many people are so grossed-out by genitals (well... male ones, anyway). If the person takes a shower and cleans them, it's no different than any other body part.

Of course, I do also lick people's faces and necks, which is also, apparently, "gross." -shrug-

I´m not repulsed by genitals but by body fluids which splash from them. And I have so strong gag reflex I can´t tolerate much smaller things in my mouth than penis.

It also seems to me too one-sided and degrading if only one of both partners enjoys the activity while the other is working hard to please him or her.

It doesn't necessarily have to be one-sided, though. I really enjoy it. lawl

Of course, I understand why someone might be repulsed by the fluid. The taste changes from time to time, and sometimes it does make me gag. (Sorry if that was too graphic.)

[Schrecken]

Apparently child birth can be pretty painful as-is, so it makes good sense that most of the vaginal canal and cervix have no feeling. In fact, doctors can perform minor surgical procedures to the cervix without any anesthesia.

Try telling that to my cervix during and after my Colposcopy (cervix biopsy). I don't care what (male) doctors say - my cervix has neves and that's all there is to it.

Seconded. I'm sure some women have hardened cervixes but I don't think it means there aren't any nerve endings down there. I got a copper IUD placed in about two months ago and it was probably the most uncomfortable and one of the more painful things I've ever had to do. I compare the pain to the time I got a filling between my two front teeth without any anesthetics. The procedure was brief, at most 3-5 mins, but it definitively was not fun. Seriously, my doctor half-jokingly said my bf should take me out to dinner for getting the IUD. :P

The clinics here give you prescription pain killers if they have to do anything to your cervix, because of the amount of pain it generally causes. They can't knock you out though. :(

I guess it varies for different people....personally I think I'm pretty dead in there nerve wise, so I guess that's a good thing if you are having medical procedures. I could see where an IUD would hurt because they are going thru the cervix into the uterus, where there are nerve endings (otherwise periods wouldn't be painful if there weren't). I've had many pap smears where I could feel the doctor digging and scraping around in there like they were mining for gold, and while I felt *something*, it wasn't at all painful. Also had a couple of transvaginal ultrasounds (where they put the probe into the vagina to image the uterus or ovaries) and other than the pressure of them moving the thing around in there, it didn't feel like much of anything at all. Of course, that test really shouldn't be painful at all, but the point I'm making is my own lack of sensation.

So yeah, as the saying goes, "your mileage may vary" (pain-wise that is).

[noparlpf]

Fellatio really turns me off. I can see the appeal of some sexual activities sometimes, but I've never understood fellatio. (Or why porn is like 80% fellatio. Ew.)

But, I think I could probably be okay performing cunnilingus on a long-term romantic partner if we eventually became sexually active. Vaginas are pretty weird but for me most of the point of sex would be to make my partner feel good, and most (allosexual) women polled seem to prefer oral sex to penetrative sex.

[warrigan]

i don't really see myself giving/receiving oral sex, but i don't exactly anticipate doing any other sexual acts in the future. it would be waaayyy too awkward for any part of me, mouth included, to become acquainted with someone else's genitals.

as for my perception of oral sex, up until a few years ago, i somehow didn't think of oral sex as "full" or "real" sex. so when i started reading erotica, i was confused about why people weren't feeling gypped since they'd "only" gotten oral sex. i was surprised to realize that some people were happy to "just" receive/give oral sex! :P

[AasthaRisk]

I never used to mind giving oral as long as I was in control of it and he had just showered or something. It was the only time I have EVER heard someone literally scream with pleasure, and I kind of enjoyed knowing that I could do that to someone. I also enjoy receiving oral rather than manual pleasure or penetration, but I'm super mega self conscious and would never ask for it and was always kind of embarrassed by wanting it/having it done. It never helped that the only guy I've done it with was a bit of a dick about both giving and receiving it so my enjoyment of both soon disappeared. But through watching porn and reading erotica it's kind of helped me to realise that people do actually enjoy both, and that's okay and nothing to be embarrassed about.

[yomo]

I like to give it to please my partner but I find it really tedious and I feel like I'm going to get lockjaw lol.

Receiving is nice and considering I can't do it to myself I'm more willing to let it happen I guess.

[Guest]

I like to give it to please my partner but I find it really tedious and I feel like I'm going to get lockjaw lol.

Receiving is nice and considering I can't do it to myself I'm more willing to let it happen I guess.

Receiving oral sounds much better than giving. I'm not gonna to have any sex in my life but I suppose I'd like receiving if I had it.

[Guest]

Oh gosh oh gosh the world of asexuals is different to mine. While I understand this sort of information squicks a lot of the aces here, I feel a bit like I want to help out any of the aces and demis who are having a go because they've agreed to do so. I think there are some misconceptions here that could make a lot of people's lives a bit easier:

- On receiving oral sex as a woman, I'm not particularly a fan because I tend to have a kind of "sub" mentality in sex anyway (this isn't abusive or forced for me, I just like seeing something I do to somebody I'm attracted to give them a big release, as somebody said ages ago it's a bit of a power trip) but in receiving, if the woman's libido is higher then a tongue on more or less anywhere feels... good. The clitoris is really not that difficult to find if you get a woman to point it out to you, and whileI'm personally kind of freaked out by the idea of somebody trying to pretend their tongue is a penis, people without penises have got to try somehow I suppose... but remember that isn't necessary, as it's not the best way to make most women aroused. As the ace who's really squicked by vaginas says, fingers are fine for this. And a handy tip! If you feel like things are going slower than you'd hoped (because while I've never had any kind of sex with an ace or a grey-ace, this is the sort of thing I imagine would make me a bit nervous on the receiving end), pressing the muscles about a palm's width down from her belly-button will help her to relax a bit. That can help with all the sex with a vagina, provided the person is happy having sex in the first place.

- In giving a blowjob, you shouldn't really be gagging unless you're being entirely too adventurous for your own good (the idea for anyone who can't deep-throat [i can, but that's the sort of effort no asexual person should have to put in in my opinion] is that you should use your hand for the rest of the penis, after wetting it with your tongue or whatever. I've once sort of grazed a penis with my teeth "in the heat of the moment" and that was pretty terrible, but you'd have to be pure evil/ on a serious revenge spree to want to bite anybody's erect cock. It's just mean. And if you're at a point where the girth of a penis in your mouth makes you think you might, don't do that for a while. Whenever I have licked a man's balls, he has thanked me. It's a heck of a lot easier than the things some of you sound like you're trying to do.

Basically, as a sexual person, all the things you folk are worrying about, such as hygiene (don't get me wrong I have an aversion to bad smells and diseases, and if I was giving a man a blowjob I'd expect him to have washed since he last peed) aren't an issue, because I'm not thinking about germs, I'm thinking about how sensitive I've become and how pretty whoever is in front of me is. This sort of distraction is something you should take advantage of! A condom shouldn't annoy any sexual partner you have, of any gender (there are latex condom equivalents for women, though they can be difficult to find in your average supermarket, use the internet) and if you have a preference in this area, particularly if you're asexual, you have every right to demand that. Some people prefer not to use contraception, but unless they're somebody you completely trust both emotionally and physically I would never recommend sex without some kind of protection, and that includes homosexual sex.

All of that is in white, because I talk about details in the oral sex for men and women. Highlight it if you're curious, but I'm not into making friends gag, so please don't if you aren't.

You can use spoiler tags (spoiler with [ ] around it and /spoiler at the end with [ ] around it) if you don't want to have to write in white. :)

As for biting - it depends on the person doing it and the person receiving.

My jaw is not aligned properly, so I CAN easily bite a guy if I am not focusing on what I am doing. There is barely enough space between my teeth unless I open my jaw uncomfortably wide. People can't really tell unless they are looking inside my mouth, so I never got it fixed (they'd have to actually cut my jaw away and put it where it belongs and wire it all up til it heals). I have to bend my lips backwards to wrap my bottom teeth in my gums to avoid cutting the penis and then my gums get cut to pieces instead by my teeth and I have little pieces of skin peeling off where the cuts are inside my mouth for the rest of the day. Some guys also like to thrust hard while receiving oral and then if they end up pushing into your teeth, their own fault, but had that happen too.

Mostly, you aren't going to, but there is some consideration to take for some people.

And gagging, well, I have no gag reflex so I have no idea how hard that is to stop doing.

Only thing that bugs me is it hurts like crazy to go too deep and gives me a sore throat, because my partner is just way too big for my tiny little throat. It feels like someone is trying to burst out of my throat from the inside. If there is a way to stop that pain, I don't think I would want to attempt it, because it would probably mean practicing something that hurts. lol And while I am willing to compromise, I get nothing out of it and he can deal with my hand on the parts my mouth can't get to or just not get it at all. Pain is where I draw the line.

[marki]

They make a mist that numbs the throat. Porn stars use it!

[Guest]

They make a mist that numbs the throat. Porn stars use it!

Yeah... no. :P lol

[Nymmie]

I am indifferent on receiving it. However, I would be repulsed if I were asked to give it.

[LenaLuthor]

Honestly, I can't think of anything which grosses me out more than the topic of this thread. I studied at length embalming practices and techniques and forensic pathology. Those did not gross me out of carry the same "ick factor". They didn't come close. Seriously, genitals and mouths are not meant to go together!

[marki]

Vagina equals no go zone ....the DMZ of the female body!

And girls don't need to touch penis :redface: ....my female friends were joking about giving hand jobs and I had to stop them and yell at them because the way they were doing the action it would have ripped it right out! :o Serious like wtf lolz!

Also....my mouth doesn't really open much....at all. I have had jaw surgery so it is tightly screwed down. :twisted: That coupled with the fact that my tongue is very short would make it almost impossible to physically preform the required actions what with all the work with tongue required....anyway that is why I never would do the oral sex or the making out / kissing with a girl.....anything needing my tongue is just not possible for me!

I guess that makes it really hard to find a girl who would be cool with never kissing! :(

Wow smiley faces are dope!!!

[Corretto]

While this oral and/or anal stuff sounds, looks and tastes [?] amazing...I'm never going to find out!

My aromantic overdrive has set my personal space boundaries well beyond tounges-reach. So I'm only going to be able to try it out on myself...and for some reasons, both anatomical and gymnastic, I know I'll never be able to achieve any of these incredible feats. Cia :(

[Guest]

I find the idea of it pretty appealing...probably more giving (to a female) than receiving. I'm generally a vagina fan, so I don't think I'd really have any objections to doing it.

[marki]

Are vaginas clean? I don't have one so I don't know.....it seems like it would get dirty though because things could fall into it! Dicks get dirty very easily!

[Guest]

Are vaginas clean? I don't have one so I don't know.....it seems like it would get dirty though because things could fall into it! Dicks get dirty very easily!

How can something "fall into" a vagina given it's pointed DOWN and not UP? :lol:

But, yes, if you keep up with your hygiene they are clean. Typically, people clean up before they do oral sex... I mean, if you're going to be asking someone to stick their face in your genitals, they BETTER be clean.

[marki]

Possible TMI or just me being an idiot male and not even knowing it.

Well....let's say you are sitting around the house naked and eating an ice cream cone on a burning hot summer day. The AC is off because you want to be cheap so the ice cream and naked time is acting as a means to stay cool. Let's say that the ice cream was to melt at an alarmingly fast pace and fell onto you. In theory would it be possible for said ice cream to accidentally fall into a vagina? They kind of point up though because they have those weird looking like hanger doors on them....you know the little squiggly thing that is really long on some girls and creepy or really short and almost not even there!?Anyway if those were folded down possibly something could get into it.....so theoretically it may be possible but in reality most girls don't sit around eating sticky foods naked (or so I would hope) and don't spill things into themselves. If guys had vaginas I think we would most definitely spill stuff in or on them all the time because guys are gross and eat food naked all the time.....cuts down on needing napkins if you just have to take a shower during the day anyway!

[The Great WTF]

....a woman would have to somehow be sitting with her butt in the air and still hold the ice cream over it for it to get anywhere near her vagina. I eat like a damn slob and spend most of my not-in-public time naked, sit on things regularly because I'm not paying attention, and still the only things that have ever gotten in my vagina were actively put there by me or my partner.

Stuff like this is why we need better sex ed.

[Guest]

*blinks*

Well....let's say you are sitting around the house naked and eating an ice cream cone on a burning hot summer day. The AC is off because you want to be cheap so the ice cream and naked time is acting as a means to stay cool. Let's say that the ice cream was to melt at an alarmingly fast pace and fell onto you. In theory would it be possible for said ice cream to accidentally fall into a vagina?

No, not unless I was standing on my head with my legs spread and bending over backwards to eat my ice cream between my own legs.

They kind of point up though because they have those weird looking like hanger doors on them....you know the little squiggly thing that is really long on some girls and creepy or really short and almost not even there!?

The labia majora? I think that is what you're trying to describe (that skin that can give a woman "camel toe" if she wears really tight pants?). Yes, technically, if I were to eat ice cream and let it melt down my body, across my abdomen and trail down between my legs (note: ice cream generally stops since it's not water so it'd be REALLY hard for that to happen to begin with) some of it might get on the outside of the labia majora. Though, I suppose if I were to sit on an ice cream cone some might get underneath the skin there. But, man, that would be really hard to have happen and impossible to not notice and feel like "EWWW need to wash that off". Still, nothing is getting IN the vagina.

The only thing that is really gross is there is a white build up if a woman doesn't actually wash herself properly. It's similar to the white build up men can have in their foreskin if they don't wash. But, my mom taught me how to clean that out when I was like 3-4. So... yeah...

[marki]

Wait .. What? If you look at a naked girl from the front you see vagina. How does it not face you if you are sitting down? Isn't it the same location that the penis is? If you could only put something in it with butt in air how can people have sex from the front???

[Naosuu]

Possible TMI or just me being an idiot male and not even knowing it.

Well....let's say you are sitting around the house naked and eating an ice cream cone on a burning hot summer day. The AC is off because you want to be cheap so the ice cream and naked time is acting as a means to stay cool. Let's say that the ice cream was to melt at an alarmingly fast pace and fell onto you. In theory would it be possible for said ice cream to accidentally fall into a vagina? They kind of point up though because they have those weird looking like hanger doors on them....you know the little squiggly thing that is really long on some girls and creepy or really short and almost not even there!?Anyway if those were folded down possibly something could get into it.....so theoretically it may be possible but in reality most girls don't sit around eating sticky foods naked (or so I would hope) and don't spill things into themselves. If guys had vaginas I think we would most definitely spill stuff in or on them all the time because guys are gross and eat food naked all the time.....cuts down on needing napkins if you just have to take a shower during the day anyway!

So I'm having a hard time figuring out what you mean by the "squiggly thing". I think I can answer this, though I'll give a little female anatomy 101 so we can clarify what the "squiggly thing" is.

(spoilered for those who are not interested/whatever reason)

So when people say "vagina", often times they really mean vulva. The vagina is the inner tunnel/tube that babies go through; the vulva is a female's external genitalia.

So a female's vulva has two sets of "flaps": the labia majus and the labia minus. The labia majus is the bigger set and it's the two fleshy bits covered in pubic hair. When you separate the outer labia, you'll can see the clitoris and the labia minor. When you spread the labia minus apart, then you'll see the opening of the urethra and the vagina.

Maybe, what you mean by the "squiggly thing" is the labia minus (the small set of flaps). Generally the labia majus will cover the inner bits entirely, however the length of the labia minus will vary; some can be pretty small and other can be long enough to peek through the labia majus. They can look kinda... wavy.... squiggly.... ish, so maybe this is what you mean?

Are vaginas clean? I don't have one so I don't know.....it seems like it would get dirty though because things could fall into it! Dicks get dirty very easily!

The vagina is a self-cleaning, self-regulating organ. Just like your stomach/intestines, the vagina is filled with bacteria but those keep it clean, infection-free and maintain the pH. The pH in the vagina is actually slightly acidic, mostly to help keep the bad bacteria out/kill them dead in their tracks. Hygiene for female genitalia is just rinse with warm water; no douches and/or perfumes necessary.

As for your ice cream question, hypothetically liquids can drip down into the vulva and between the folds of the labia. The vaginal opening is pointed kinda... downwards and slanted to the front. I mean, some might be around the opening, but going deeper is unlikely due to gravity. Unless this chick is super gross and sticks ice cream up in her vagina with her finger, yeah.

Super educational picture!

Cross section of the vagina