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When it comes to gender descriptors, what are you comfortable with?


littleheartsofjoy

Gender descriptors (read first post)  

  1. 1. First, what gender do you most identify as?

    • Female
      161
    • Male
      51
    • I identify as a gender outside of those binaries
      90
  2. 2. If you identify as female, what descriptors are you comfortable with?

    • Female
      164
    • Lady
      82
    • Woman
      113
    • Gal
      51
    • Girl
      131
    • Miss
      119
    • Ma'am
      53
    • I don't identify as female
      123
  3. 3. If you identify as male, what descriptors are you comfortable with?

    • Male
      55
    • Guy
      77
    • Gentleman/Sir
      51
    • Mister
      42
    • Boy
      29
    • Dude
      64
    • Man
      46
    • I don't identify as male
      226

This poll is closed to new votes


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This poll makes so much sense to me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has strange preferences with what words to use to describe people.

Except in a few rare situations, the words woman and lady seems weird and uncomfortable to me. I don't even know why I don't like them. I can get away with calling myself and my friends girls because we are mostly in our teens or early 20's, but when I have to refer to an older female I find myself going out of my way to avoid calling her a woman or a lady. I'm a strange person. :wacko:

I also hate being called ma'am, but mostly because it make me feel older than I actually am. To me, ma'am is for adults, and at 19 I don't feel like an adult yet. I have no problem calling other people ma'am if its appropriate to the situation though.

As for males, I usually just refer to everyone as "guys" unless its a formal situation- then I'll just use man or sir or whatever.

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I prefer the titles. Ouside of that it depends.

Lady Kerrigan / Yes or no Ma'am - Proper and acceptable.

you're such a women - you're about to get hurt

It's the same on the other side, call me bro or dude and we are going to have issues.

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helana12_03

I identify as female and I am biologically female. I'm ok with female, gal, girl and miss. I'm also kind of ok with lady, but people hardly ever use it. Young lady and dude are ok too.

I hate being called ma'am or woman, it makes me feel like people think I'm married or something. These descriptors also make me feel old. I know young unmarried females get them too, but still... Getting called a young woman feels kind of strange, but it's still so much better than being called a woman or ma'am.

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Charr Lee Gray

i don't identify as male nor female

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I don't identify with a binary gender, so I just picked the ones I was comfortable with from both, which was mostly titled ones such as Sir, Miss, Lady, or Mister. I am also comfortable with Dude but not with Ma'am. Ma'am just doesn't seem warranted.

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TooOldForThis

I'm 21, so 'boy' just doesn't seem terribly appropriate anymore :)

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Grumpy Alien

shrug

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I'm non-binary, but I'm more masculine-leaning, and I'm much more comfortable being referred to with male gender descriptors. I've never really been comfortable with female descriptors, but I'm even more uncomfortable with them now that I've become more aware of my gender identity. Female descriptors just kind of set off an alarm that says "wrong" in my head whenever someone uses them in reference to me.

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Comrade Eden

Personally, I quite like when people use 'person' or 'human' to refer to me. This is a rare-ish occurrence, but I appreciate it when it does happen.

I feel neutrally at best, and slightly negatively at worst regarding gendered descriptors.

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  • 4 months later...

I may look male but I don't identify as one. Out of preference I don't use any gender pronouns unless societal protocol expects it. I run a business so I have to avoid appearing rude to customers, some expect to be addressed by a title. I just want everyone to call me by my name or nickname.

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  • 2 months later...
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

I picked that I am comfortable with all the female ones, except 'gal' and 'lady'

Here is why (this is just me, in my head, it doesn't make it true, it is just my feelings)

'Lady' to me carries a lot of connotations I don't identify with, probably because of the amount of Shakespeare etc I read, it feels anti-feminist, and upper class (in a bad way). It also feels, I don't know, feminine in a way I am not. I am all woman baby, but I am not all 'feminine'. Whenever someone refers to me as a lady I cringe a little, because it doesn't feel like me (not that is wrong in any way, it is just not me like 'Mister' isn't me.)

I think Gal around where I live can be used sometimes in a slightly dismissive/derogatory way, not always, but I would still prefer girl usually.

I find ma'am acceptable because to me, around here it is age-neutral and doesn't rely on marital status. To me it is just a word that means 'I don't know your name, or marital status, and I am being polite.' Usually used in customer service or hospitality etc, it is fine with me. If someone I actually knew used it THEN I would have a problem.

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I'm female.

It's kind of tricky question because some of this descriptors feels fine unless I try to translate them. So it's strictly connected with language. Woman is my preferred descriptor. I'm ok with "female" because it's so commonly used in English but "samica" (female in Polish) is awful and I would feel slightly offended if someone addressed me like that. And girl is also fine when I connect it with "dziewczyna" and not with "dziewczynka" (so context matter). And about the rest I don't really mind if someone calls me like that, but I wouldn't use any of those when I'm talking about myself. Gal also sound weird for me.

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RoswellValentine

I'm female-bodied, but I identify as gender-neutral leaning towards masculine. I haven't been bothered by female descriptors up until recently, though it sets off more of a "Please try again" than a "Stop stop stop stop no" in my head. Of all the descriptors, I feel most comfortable using "guy" referring to myself. Just that. I've been "Miss"ed and "Ma'am"ed plenty, though I've mostly chalked it up to "I probably don't look that masculine", even when I'm certain I do (I almost always dress in a neutral or masculine-leaning manner). I may have digressed a bit with that last statement.

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I identify as female because I am one. I chose all the girl descriptors except gal. Don't care for that one. On the male one I chose guy and dude since I refer to everyone as guy or dude including myself and regardless of gender

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I am female- i am comfortable with most descripters except "woman"..I'm not sure why, I'm on the far side of 20..nearly 30.. but I have always absolutely hated being referred too as a "Woman". I don't love being called "ma'am" either but i prefer that to "Woman" lol

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I'm female, but any term beyond that makes me uncomfortable, as I'm not strongly female.

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I am female. While I am fine with pretty much any descriptor, I don't mind "girl" for friends or strangers. "Gal" just seems odd to me, though theoretically I'm fine with that too.

However, I dislike "girl" in some settings because it is used as a substitute for "bitch" or as a way to belittle females in a professional setting. I'm an engineer, so stubborn cis-males dominate my day-to-day interactions. :/

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I'm female and I'm not comfortable with words like Woman and Lady, but I think that it's because I'm in denial about my age. I'm 17, and it's not that long till I'll officially be an adult, and I really don't want to be an adult, I want to be a child as long as possible.

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I'm female and all of the above are fine. I'm not too picky, and depends also who's using them and in what kind of situation.

"Girl" would probably be the most rude one since I'm around my thirties. Then again, I'm constantly reminded I look younger than 20-year-old. If it's said in a friendly manner I take it as a compliment. And if someone happens to "girl" me and by saying so tries to lift themselves higher than me... well, it tells me about that person more than enough. (:

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I identify as female and I'm fine with being called any of those terms. I don't mind being called 'dude', 'man', ect. As long as they're not implying I identify as male, I don't mind.

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supersymmetry

I do identify as female, but I really hate being called one... hard to explain, but I'd take 'girl' or 'gal' any day over 'female', 'woman', or 'madam'. The latter terms just feel... too grown-up, I guess, too adult, too concrete. For me, as a 'girl' I can become whatever I want to be, but if I'm a 'young woman', then that's really the end of the road. And 'female', too, is implying dfab, which also makes me feel kind of restricted in terms of gender identity. So... tl;dr I'm a girl that hates being boxed in.

I'm fine with male descriptors like 'dude', 'bro', 'man', 'guy', etc. too. Since they're not really that male-centered anymore.

Edit: 'Gal' is a really cute word, and I wish people would use it more often heheh

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  • 1 month later...

I'm going to go on a little ramble here, 'cause why not.

Of the female options, if I had to pick one, I'd go with "girl" because that seems the least… ucky. Usually I just say "I'm a mel!" which is both my name and my preferred gender. I defy categorization. I'm just me.

I actually prefer the more masculine or unisex descriptors like "dude." I have a guy friend who calls everyone "sir," as in, "Why thank you, kind sir." In that context, I'd rather be called "sir" than "ma'am." I'm much too young to be a "ma'am."

One thing that's maybe a little odd is that I tend to refer to myself with the masculine form of things. Recently I was describing how there's always that one student who easily excels while others struggle, and I said, "Yeah, I'm that guy." I mean, that's how the phrase goes. "Oh, you're that guy," or "Don’t be that guy." I'm not going to muck up the phrase for the sake of proper gendering, political correctness be damned.

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  • 1 month later...
cosmosredshift7

Being both female and agender, female titles are fine when i'm feeling like a girl, but I'd prefer gender neutral titles when i'm feeling masculine. Like, guy, bro(bruh), or dude are fine and already feel like they're neutral names, but none of the other 'male' ones are. Also, I'm cool with the titles Ms or Mx, because Mx is gender neutral.

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I'm cis-male, perfectly happy with Male, Guy, Boy, Dude or Man.

I especially don't like Sir or Gentleman and I'm not a big fan of Mister. Too formal and too class-focused for me.

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I'm male.

I identify as low working class and barely dress up & Usually only go by my first name. So I am least comfortable with Sir / gentleman. But yeah, I own a good suit and am able to wear my nose in the wind for an afternoon.

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DigitalBookDust

I am an androgyne so don't id as male or female. I have a female body but look boyish. I prefer "person", "human", or (my favorite) "librarian".

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I don't have a strong gender identity so I identify with my biological sex by default.

It seems that I'm one of the only people who feel more comfortable with "woman" than "girl", but at my age, "girl" starts feeling a little bit immature to describe me, and it feels really wrong to me to call a 30-year-old female "girl" and a 30-year-old male "man", as it puts the female in a more immature, dependent and then inferior position. It's even more uncomfortable as I look much younger than I am and others spontaneously treat me like a teen girl, and it's sometimes seriously annoying.

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PastelBread

All of the female options except for "gal". I don't really like to be referred to as that, haha.

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YellowElephant

I'm female. I don't mind being called girl as I'm still pretty young and used to it. Woman is fine, only sounds a little strange. I don't like the words Miss or Ma'am because the former implies youthfulness and the latter assumes marriage. I don't use Miss or Mrs with my teachers because I've had a few who insist upon one or the other and I can never keep them straight so I just stick with Ms; maybe that has influenced my disliking toward Miss and Ma'am.

When I refer to myself or my friends I say Dude and Person a lot, no matter the gender, and then Guy and Lady.

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I'm androgyne. I don't really identify as male or female... completely I should say. Kinda like 35% male, 35% female, 30% neutral/neither, I don't know, something like that. What I prefer the most is boyish or girlish. I'm okay with girl, guy, boy, dude, and bro. I don't really feel comfortable with man or woman because I still see myself as a kid. I don't even see myself as a teenager easing into adulthood. Just simply a kid. Miss and Ma'am, Mister and Sir, just seems way too formal and it makes me feel weird... Probably because, again, I see myself as a kid. I always thought of guys (plural) is gender neutral and dude is gender neutral. I'm not too fond of the word "dudette", it just sounds stupid, in my opinion.

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