When it comes to gender descriptors, what are you comfortable with?

[littleheartsofjoy]

I'm not talking about what gender you feel you are, but when it comes to gender descriptors, what are words that you feel comfortable with, when referring to yourself, and/or when someone is referring to you? I don't mean pronouns. The choice of words in this case are based on the binary genders, even though I included a catch all for people outside of it in the questions.

Why do you, or don't you feel comfortable with these words? I didn't make a poll for possible reasons, because there are too many.

(Edit: Go figure that my 1,000th post would be a poll haha)

[ThaHoward]

Which descriptors? All of them. Same sh*t different wrapping :p

If possible, maybe you should add a poll for those outside the gender binary and/or those who identify as none?

[littleheartsofjoy]

Which descriptors? All of them. Same sh*t different wrapping :P

This is true, but some might feel heavier than others. Like a mature guy (in age), might not feel comfortable with being called a boy, since it can be seen as immature.

[ThaHoward]

This is true, but some might feel heavier than others. Like a mature guy (in age), might not feel comfortable with being called a boy, since it can be seen as immature.

I'm speaking how I feel about it, not trying to define it for others :)

[sindi]

I only chose "female" and "girl", 'cause for some reason I don't feel comfortable with "woman" etc despite being FAR into my twenties

[littleheartsofjoy]

This is true, but some might feel heavier than others. Like a mature guy (in age), might not feel comfortable with being called a boy, since it can be seen as immature.

I'm speaking how I feel about it, not trying to define it for others :)

Gotcha.

As for your edit, that's a good idea, but I'm not very well informed with titles for people outside of the binary. And in society, one might feel one way about themselves, but people will still address you as you appear to them (which is usually one of the descriptors that I listed). I don't know much.

[ThaHoward]

Maybe both the female and male ones? And then an option for "none of the above" and "other (please specify in thread)"?

[mint__]

I identify with the female gender, but I don't say "I'm a female", it sounds too biological for me (I'd use it for animals, not for people).

The descriptors I'm confortable with are woman, gal and miss. Lady would be ok too but, does anyone use it?

[5_♦♣]

Female and picked the first 4 options for the second question. I hate hate hate being called a girl. It seems way too juvenile and as such, allows those who say it to not take me seriously, since I'm regarded as a 'child' in the eyes of those who call me a girl.

As for miss and ma'am: Not sure how I feel about those, so I didn't pick them.

[Tja]

Being an older male, I don't identify with boy, or dude. Never had a conflict with gender, so male, guy, gentleman/sir, mister, and man are fine.

Also, I was brought up to address females I'm not acquainted with as Ma'am. It's a sign of respect, but many women object (sometimes vehemently) to this. I'm not sure why.

*I love polls. Keep 'em coming*

[DerkhanBlue]

I don't identify with either gender in particular, but I thought I'd add my two cents anyway. There's no descriptor I'm particularly more fond of than others, I usually just go with whatever people use to address me as long as it's appropriate for the situation. Though I used to almost hate Lady, girl, and all that stuff, I'm now kinda 'oh well, got to use something' about it. Male descriptors feel as unfitting as female ones, so whatever.

[ChrissyBear121]

Hello, so I identify with the female gender but I'm really only comfortable with the term woman when it comes to a descriptor (although I'd rather be called by my name than generalized). Either way, I don't use the word female because it's just weird to say. I don't like the word lady because it makes me feel like the person saying 'hey lady' has forgotten my name. I don't like the terms gal, girl, or miss because it makes me feel like I'm being told I'm too young to be taken seriously (in some contexts.. not all). Finally, I don't like being called ma'am because it makes me feel old and I don't like that. I am not old enough to be called 'ma'am' so don't even think about it! :)

[R_1]

I identify as male by default, but I always preferred man to boy.

[Koda]

Female and girl for me. Girl is mostly because growing up unintentionally androgynous meant I always had to tell people 'I'm a girl' and I guess I'm just used to associating myself with that word. As for female, I feel like it's referring to my biology, which I'm comfortable with. Woman and ma'am are very feminine to me, and I don't really view myself as feminine so it feels odd to use those words to identify myself. The other's aren't something I hear a lot so I don't have any feelings towards them either way.

[TheNomment]

Being Androgyne, I don't identify as male or female, but Biologically, I'm female... I hate it, along with all the terms used with females. All of them. Mister and boy are the ones I really don't like being called in the male spectrum, but the female, I absolutely hate. The best thing is, since my name isn't gender neutral, and growing up people called me Kate(Nickname) doesn't help either. I just grew to hate the terms. Mainly because society in the past, and maybe a bit now sees females as weak, and I am not weak, and that's why they irk me so.

[DarkDragonn]

Well is is awkward... My name is actually Gal (it means wave in Hebrew, it's a common name). So I find it difficult to accept 'gal' as a word for girl. Other than that, I don't really care (it depends on the context).

[WhenSummersGone]

I connect more to female and I usually prefer female, she or person. Girl sounds too young for me. I'm not sure about woman and lady, they could make me feel a little old or something lol. I don't really like gal or miss.

[arcaneEnthusiast]

It's weird, but my friends and I all call each other "dude" no matter gender. I think it has become applicable to all genders, at least where I've used it and seen it used.

[Guest]

I mostly identify as male (which I am biologically) and I'm actually fine with all of those descriptors as long as it's not in an offensive context.

[Synchrèse]

I identify as female and the only descriptor I picked was girl. I'm quite reluctant towards miss/ma'am thing (for me they put too much emphasis on marital status) and I find lady pretentious. Girl is the only one which doesn't make me feel strange (I still remember my driving classes - the teacher would call me ma'am and I automatically felt sixty years older).

[Lady Girl]

I don't identify with either gender in particular, but I thought I'd add my two cents anyway. There's no descriptor I'm particularly more fond of than others, I usually just go with whatever people use to address me as long as it's appropriate for the situation. Though I used to almost hate Lady, girl, and all that stuff, I'm now kinda 'oh well, got to use something' about it. Male descriptors feel as unfitting as female ones, so whatever.

Hello, so I identify with the female gender but I'm really only comfortable with the term woman when it comes to a descriptor (although I'd rather be called by my name than generalized). Either way, I don't use the word female because it's just weird to say. I don't like the word lady because it makes me feel like the person saying 'hey lady' has forgotten my name. I don't like the terms gal, girl, or miss because it makes me feel like I'm being told I'm too young to be taken seriously (in some contexts.. not all). Finally, I don't like being called ma'am because it makes me feel old and I don't like that. I am not old enough to be called 'ma'am' so don't even think about it! :)

These both made me laugh a little, just cause my user name. Which incidentally used to be ways my sister addressed me so that's where it came from...obviously I don't mind the terms. :)

[noparlpf]

As a tween with long hair I was pegged as female more often than not, so I got used to being addressed with female descriptors and I really don't care anymore. I'm also torn between preferring male descriptors and neutral descriptors, just because I don't like how gendered our language can be. I've been working on getting into the habit of defaulting to neutral descriptors when referring to others.

Anyway, I typically refer to my gender with phrases like, "I'm male", "I'm a dude", or sometimes "I'm a guy". I'm too old to feel comfortable with "boy" (I'm twenty) but haven't gotten used to being old enough to be a "man" yet. Anyway, I'm neither neurologically mature (that happens between 24-26) nor self-sufficient (I'm finishing my BSci this month, but I have another semester of undergrad prerequisites and then four years of vet school, and my mother, maternal grandparents, and great-grandmother's will pay my bills), so I don't consider myself an adult and feel weird about "man". I'm fine with "sir" when being addressed formally by strangers (cashiers, for example) but being called "mister" feels really weird.

[fuzzipueo]

I find I really don't like being called "woman". I am female and I don't mind Lady as a descriptor, but all the others just feel really odd.

Ma'am doesn't bother me, it's just a respectful term (even if it makes one feel like a matron :P). On the other hand, my favorite line from Prime Suspect's DCI Jane Tennison: "My voice suddenly got lower, has it? Maybe my knickers are too tight. Listen, I like to be called Governor or The Boss. I don't like Ma'am - I'm not the bloody Queen. So take your pick." ;)

[noparlpf]

It's weird, but my friends and I all call each other "dude" no matter gender. I think it has become applicable to all genders, at least where I've used it and seen it used.

Yeah, I call girls "dude".

[shockkkk]

Male, and I'm fine with all the descriptors.

[Anastasiya]

I'm female. The only ones I don't want to be referred as are "gal" and "ma'am". Gal... simply because it's not something I've ever heard used around here, and it sounds strange to my ears. Ma'am, on the other hand, just sounds too old for me, and I HATE being called it. If you need to address me and don't know my name, "miss" is perfectly fine... it's respectful and works just fine for someone of my age. Please don't call me ma'am until I'm at least 50!

I should also say, for "lady", I'd only really use it again in contexts where my name is unknown... for example if a parent says to their child (I work in retail so I get this a lot) "okay hand that over to the nice lady!"

[Philip027]

Don't mind what anyone calls me anymore. Male terms, female terms, alien terms, whatever. To me, male terms make the most sense because I am male-bodied, but a lot of the people that know me don't even know what I look like, so me being male-bodied doesn't necessarily have any visual bearing. XD

I don't identify with either gender in particular, but I thought I'd add my two cents anyway. There's no descriptor I'm particularly more fond of than others, I usually just go with whatever people use to address me as long as it's appropriate for the situation. Though I used to almost hate Lady, girl, and all that stuff, I'm now kinda 'oh well, got to use something' about it. Male descriptors feel as unfitting as female ones, so whatever.

Hello, so I identify with the female gender but I'm really only comfortable with the term woman when it comes to a descriptor (although I'd rather be called by my name than generalized). Either way, I don't use the word female because it's just weird to say. I don't like the word lady because it makes me feel like the person saying 'hey lady' has forgotten my name. I don't like the terms gal, girl, or miss because it makes me feel like I'm being told I'm too young to be taken seriously (in some contexts.. not all). Finally, I don't like being called ma'am because it makes me feel old and I don't like that. I am not old enough to be called 'ma'am' so don't even think about it! :)

These both made me laugh a little, just cause my user name. Which incidentally used to be ways my sister addressed me so that's where it came from...obviously I don't mind the terms. :)

So that's where it came from!

[Vyanni Krace]

I don't identify within the gender binary, but I am much more comfortable with people referring to me as dude, guy, mate, mister, gentleman and sir than I do being called miss, ma'am, girl or whatever, despite being female bodied and still very much female in appearance (although I plan to change that).

[Jockey]

I am male and I'm comfortable with all except "boy".

I find dude and gentleman both a little unsettling but they're okay with me. Sir always strikes me funny but I kind of like it. I've been working part time as a teacher for the last few years, so I expect "Mr." in that setting. I've gotten enough used to mister that if a kid doesn't call me mister I'm a little surprised.

I work part time helping elderly women, who tend to call me "young man" which I like a lot. Some of the white ones infrequently call me boy; the black women never ever do. I am not sure if the white women are unaware of the racial connotations of "boy". I am certain that the black women are aware. One way or another, I am adult man, and I don't like being referred to as a boy.

Edit: i just noticed that in my signature I call myself dude! I think I wrote it about six years ago. I had a friend at the time who called everybody dude. Maybe time for a change.

[AnomalyEternal]

I am an androgyne and am only Ok with female and girl, however I'm fine with everything you've listed for male descriptors. I'm not really sure why this is.