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Mid Life Crisis


wolfpup

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Synchrèse

Midlife crisis is associated with 40s in my head, but I think it depends on a person -I guess that it's linked to the difficulties with accepting the process of aging, so I would assume that as long as one has a healthy, rational attitude towards the passage of time and body's transformation, there won't be any midlife crisis. The problem is that our culture praises youth and hopeless pursuit to self-conservation (as in many cases I can't call it differently) instead of promoting the idea of coming to terms with the fact that our body changes all the time and this is a normal, natural and inevitable process.

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Late 40's/early 50's has been what I remember from when I was younger. I have sort of been easing into one between being a childless never married single virgin with some of my High School classmates posting pictures of their grandchildren on Facebook and having to wonder about the past possibilities. Plus the real possibility my company may go under in the next few months and being a 50+ IT person that is pretty much the end of my IT career. Even for 40+ people these days getting hired in the profession is tough (25-35 is prime). So I have a lot on my mind lately and blood pressure in the 140/85-95 range is not helping either. If I could shed 20lbs this summer that would solve that problem but the stress levels are just wearing me down.

So in a nutshell, my own experience says 50+.

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I think a lot of it depends on an individual's health and circumstances. Mine hit when I was in my early 40s, when two family members and several other people who were significant in my life all died in a short period of 2 years. Meanwhile, my employer went through a huge round of layoffs, making me wonder if I would need a career change. On top of all that, I was having severe knee pain that was putting all my athletic activities in jeopardy. Fortunately things got better in following years, but sometimes I look back at that period and wonder how I got through it.

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Guest Jigger77

I'm pretty sure I had a little one a couple of times in the past 7 years and I'm in my mid/late 30's. They tend to hit whenever your life stagnates and that can happen at any age. Each time I emotionally sank, things in my life were really stable...good job, good friends...but life around me was changing...friends now having kids, being invited to weddings/parties where I'm the only one attending stag (b/c everyone had found someone by then). Even though I had a lot to be proud of and happy about, when I looked outward and started to compare, it sent me right into the doldrums. Like Techie mentioned above, thinking about past possibilities and where I could be now if I weren't asexual got a bit overwhelming.

Of course, seasonal depression isn't good for making you look at the positives either...

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  • 2 weeks later...
helana12_03

I think people usually get them in their 40's, but there are exceptions. I'm in my 20's and I've had a mid life crisis for the past 3 years.

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I don't like the term "mid-life crisis". It seems like it is often applied to anyone of a "certain age" who does anything different from what they had done previously. From something as simple as getting one's ears pierced or trying a different style of clothes, to buying a nice car, to a change of careers, etc. Just because a person gets a little older it doesn't mean they can't try new things! The changes might be due to necessity, or to learning more about oneself, or to learning to be less concerned about what other people think, or to being open minded, or any number of other reasons that have nothing to do with crises. Or maybe due to finally realizing life can be short and some of the things the younger version thought were important are not so important after all and there is more to life for that person.

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I suppose you could describe the depressive episode that I've recently emerged from as a midlife crisis if you wanted to- I had a couple of years of being on a very short fuse and not fun to be around, followed by two and a half years on antidepressants. A lot of frustration with what I've failed to achieve in life and a gradual narrowing of my horizons, the death of a university contemporary and a sense of just not having the energy to see through any of my dreams-I think the key has been a rediscovery of my Nordic ancestry, which has opened up a whole new perspective for me.

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Tanwen, on 26 May 2014 - 12:48 PM, said:

I don't think I had one...is it too late to have one now? ;)

It's never too late. We're still in midlife, Tan. :lol:

My ex-partner had the most stereotypical midlife crisis ever in his 50s. He started dating a 24-year-old (not me!) and bought a red Corvette. That lasted for about 4 years. The girl's gone; the Corvette is in the garage unused.

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Tanwen, on 26 May 2014 - 12:48 PM, said:

I don't think I had one...is it too late to have one now? ;)

It's never too late. We're still in midlife, Tan. :lol:

My ex-partner had the most stereotypical midlife crisis ever in his 50s. He started dating a 24-year-old (not me!) and bought a red Corvette. That lasted for about 4 years. The girl's gone; the Corvette is in the garage unused.

An unused Corvette is an indicator of some sort of crisis.

:P

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TeddyMiller

I had a reverse mid-life crisis at around age 49, 50. where I tried the whole home ownership/parenthood/family man routine.

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  • 3 weeks later...
binary suns

I think I had a midlife crisis last year when I was 23.... well I sure hope it was my "mid"life crisis because if not the real one's gonna really suck

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I suspect I might be slipping into one right now, and I just turned 44 a couple of months ago. Some of this I think has been precipitated (and what triggers them could be many things, not just stereotypical stuff like going bald or realizing you can't fit into your high school age clothes anymore) by me wanting to go back and catalog the first half of my life as an artist, all the works I have done (and do some heavy-duty spring cleaning along with it; my life feels way too cluttered). I have literally been looking over a pictorial representation of my past and I am seeing how I have changed. I am also now dealing with the return of my libido (it having been on ice for 8+ years when I was on the pill) and all the moody feelings that female hormones can bring up.

For me a "mid-life crisis" is simply looking back at where you have been for the first part of your life (age isn't necessarily an indicator, since of course I could live past 88 or not make it that far; but either way unless I live to 100+ I have lived a good chunk of my life already) and trying to decide if you made the right choices and also what you want the 2nd half of your life to be like.

I feel I might want to make some changes (nothing wild and crazy) in the way I do things and I'm toying with ideas on how to do that and exactly what I might want to accomplish. Part of me feels like I might want to try and find a romantic partner (weeding out of course anyone with a high octane libido) and also I feel I want to try and get out more into the world, like I have been awfully sheltered here in the last few years since I've been running my own business out of my home.

So it doesn't have to be a "nutso" time, just a period of reflection where you stop and pause and decide a course for your future.

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  • 2 weeks later...

i'm almost 65.i've had what could be described as crisis prior to being 60.i don't know if i'm done with them..life goes on.

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Tradittionally I thought it was 40 but as we all have different maturity levels It can vary although I'm pretty sure it's not compulsory to have a mid life crisis

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Welllll....40 is the 'new' 30 :lol:

*And I think I missed out, or at least if I had one it was completely unmemorable :D *

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I wonder..is mid life crisis supposed to be the opposite end of a teenage phase?

like a biological sign of ready for reproduction..... and past your peak of reproduction.

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38 hit me pretty hard for some reason.

All life is a crisis really.

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I'm not sure if mine was a mid-life crisis or just burn-out, but, in my mid 30's, I was in a major depression, was strongly encouraged to take a lay-off package at work, changed location (again), spent a year unemployed before starting a new, temporary job (that lasted 4 1/2 yrs) in a new town, making some good friends, finding a good shrink, being diagnosed with depression and anxiety, taking meds that keep me stabilized and becoming comfortable with my new reality where I was no longer my job. At 49, I've been through some more ups and downs, but for the most part I am happy with who I am and where I am in my life. Only recently heard about asexuality and this site but soon realized that it all fits me to a "T", and it has made so much make sense. Looking forward to my 50's and whatever they may bring. :)

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  • 3 months later...

I "died" at 42, and became reincarnated as the person I am now, completely different to who I was before. Gender, sexuality and personality all changed.

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I'm going through it now, I think at 49. I'm on full military disability, so have no money woes. I volunteer at a museum and a nature preserve, donate to charity. I keep active, travel,yet I feel that I haven't done a thing with my life. Of course, my depression probably has a lot to do with that.

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I had mine at 45 and I hope I don't have a second one. There was something about that number that depressed me, made me feel old, that I was past the best years of my life, I was never going to recapture my vigor. The end of youth had a finality to it. I was also experiencing major health problems that my doctor told me might improve but would never totally go away. It lasted for about a year until I eventually accepted where I was in life and moved forward. It was a very black time. I'm much happier now and have no problem with being older. I got my AARP card this year so now I get discounts for being old! People still mistake me as being my daughter's grandfather, admittedly I am old enough to be, but it doesn't bother me like it used to.

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I'm 42 and don't feel like I've experienced a mid-life crisis yet. Getting through the Great Recession, however, was traumatic and scarring. If a mid-life crisis is worse than getting laid off in the prime of your career and being on unemployment for 2 years, I hope I don't experience it.

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This is going to sound strange, but I'm 58 and I think I've been going through a mid-life crisis since I turned 40, although it sort of comes and goes. I've had so many personal revelations and epiphanies during the past 18 or so years that I can tell you maybe outer life slows down as we get older, but one's inner life gets very busy! :)

The afternoon of life is just as full of meaning as the morning; only, its meaning and purpose are different….

Jung (1943)
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I am having one right now, and I am 30. Frustration with dreams coming true. And I feel like there is no one for me and will be spending the rest of my life alone. Difficult to cope with life right now, really..!

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  • 2 years later...
straightouttamordor

I feel more confident, wiser and content as I bump 50. My crisis was in the teens and early twenties. When I stopped trying to impress people who didn't like me anyway, quit attempting to always have to fit in I emancipated myself.

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16 hours ago, prib23 said:

I feel more confident, wiser and content as I bump 50. My crisis was in the teens and early twenties. When I stopped trying to impress people who didn't like me anyway, quit attempting to always have to fit in I emancipated myself.

I agree with this prib23.   The mid life crisis was a Freudian concept.  Many psychologist dispute Freud's claims and many of Freud's hypotheses have since been disputed and sometimes discredited.  

 

I think as others have stated such a crisis can occur at any age and typically during life changes or stagnation


 

Quote

 

Some people have challenged the existence of mid-life crises altogether. One study found that 23% of participants had what they called a "midlife crisis," but in digging deeper, only one-third of those—8% of the total—said the crisis was associated with realizations about aging."[5]

 

The balance (15% of those surveyed) had experienced major life experiences or transitions such as divorce or loss of a job in middle age and described them as "midlife crisis." While there is no doubt these events can be traumatic—the associated grief reactions can be indistinguishable from depression".[5]

 

Costa and McCrae (1980) found little evidence for an increase in neuroticism in midlife While they did find that some people were likely to experience such crises, these individuals were likely to experience crises in their 20s and 30s, and these experiences were not unique to midlife. Robinson, Rosenberg, and Farrell (1999) re-interviewed (500) men. Looking back over their midlife period, it became evident that while not necessarily entailing crisis, it was a time for re-evaluation.

 

 

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On 5/25/2014 at 11:29 PM, daveb said:

It seems like it is often applied to anyone of a "certain age" who does anything different from what they had done previously.

 I am trying to "like" posts, but when I click "like this" it does not show up for some reason.

 

I agree with this and the rest of your posting. 

 

Just because someone in their later years buys a fire engine red McLaren 570s, does not necessarily mean he/she is having a mid-life crisis. 

 

Maybe it just means that when they were in their 20s, they could not afford to buy a McLaren.

 

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straightouttamordor
9 hours ago, Tracy1 said:

I agree with this prib23.   The mid life crisis was a Freudian concept.  Many psychologist dispute Freud's claims and many of Freud's hypotheses have since been disputed and sometimes discredited.  

 

 

Some people have a mid life crisis thru their entire life. I hear some say they are "Free spirits" or "happy go lucky" to romantasize it all. Others say, " He spent all his money amd time on wine, women and song and wasted the rest." 

I had no idea the midlife crisis was a Freudian concept. Thanks for enlightening me. Glad it was challenged by  modern psychologist.
 

 

 

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