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Some help would be much appreciated! (I'm not sure what's going on!)


haypunk

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After months and months of brooding over the topic, I've finally decided to look for some help. And like I said, it would be much appreciated if I could get some advice or something!!

Alright, so... I was born female, and was quite content with that fact growing up! But up until maybe a year ago, I started to feel... uncomfortable. Y'know, identifying as a female. And honestly? I didn't know what the hell was going on. It was up until recently, however, when I wasn't sure what to put for my gender on this school survey, I knew I've had enough of this and I needed to figure out what was wrong with me.

Now, I guess I should probably elaborate when I say 'uncomfortable', because it goes further than that. (I'm trying to figure out how to explain this as I type, so I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense.)

I feel... out of place? when people refer to me as her, or she. Almost embarrassed at a lack of better words? I don't know, this is really hard to explain.

It just doesn't feel right, and it doesn't sound right to my ears.

Which confuses me further, because I'm totally comfortable with my femininity when it comes to my appearance! I like to wear girly clothing, makeup, etc., etc.

I'm just so confused, I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry.

So, uh... does anything have any idea what's going on?

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hmm, thought one:

when other ppl refer to ppl they assume someone sexual and thats what your not identifying with?

thought two:

gender can be fluid; genderfluid, and a shift can last for days, weeks, months, etc. You can also go into more specific titles like bigender (moving between two genders), trigender, and pangender

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What would be your preferred pronoun then? I mean... you can feel a lot of things, and if you can inform your significant people that you wish to be called by something other and it would make you a happier person... go for it! (:

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Calligraphette_Coe

After months and months of brooding over the topic, I've finally decided to look for some help. And like I said, it would be much appreciated if I could get some advice or something!!

Alright, so... I was born female, and was quite content with that fact growing up! But up until maybe a year ago, I started to feel... uncomfortable. Y'know, identifying as a female. And honestly? I didn't know what the hell was going on. It was up until recently, however, when I wasn't sure what to put for my gender on this school survey, I knew I've had enough of this and I needed to figure out what was wrong with me.

Now, I guess I should probably elaborate when I say 'uncomfortable', because it goes further than that. (I'm trying to figure out how to explain this as I type, so I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense.)

I feel... out of place? when people refer to me as her, or she. Almost embarrassed at a lack of better words? I don't know, this is really hard to explain.

It just doesn't feel right, and it doesn't sound right to my ears.

Which confuses me further, because I'm totally comfortable with my femininity when it comes to my appearance! I like to wear girly clothing, makeup, etc., etc.

I'm just so confused, I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry.

So, uh... does anything have any idea what's going on?

It's like the Inner Light casts a long shadow,.... and you're pretty sure the shadow isn't the *you* you feel when you contemplate where you need to be in the world. It's like it's someone else's shadow you're seeing and you can't believe it comes from you?

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There's always the label "genderweird." Or perhaps you're neutrois. You can always do exploring; after all, gender identity can change.

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You said "growing up" and "in school".

How old are you?

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Lambda Corvus

It might help if you consider that gender expression is separate from gender identity -- not necessarily related. Your appearance that you talk about is part of gender expression, but it does not determine what your gender is.

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It was others who determined my perception of gender (which I still feel is somewhat vague) because I'd never had an intrinsic perception of gender of my own. It's okay if you can't relate to gender A or gender B (or C or D or E while we are at it), some of us are defined by not having a sense of gender at all, or one that is so amorphous that we don't see much use in trying to 'pin it down' permanently.

Some people never really have to go on a 'gender journey' but, if you do, be aware that "not applicable" is as valid a conclusion as anything else.

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