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Necron

Does you voice change depending on who you're talking to?

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Necron

I just noticed recently that my voice isn't as high pitched as I thought it was. I don't have a deep voice, but a lot of the time, when I talk, I can hear a child speaking.

I've realised over the past while that when I talk to certain people, my voice doesn't sound so childish, whereas when I talk to others, it does. When I notice my voice being high-pitched, I try to bring it down a few tones, but it's impossible.

I googled it today to see if it was actually a thing or if I was just trying to convince myself that my voice isn't as stupid as I think it is, but I saw some people talking about it being related to trying to deceive people, which did actually strike a chord with me. Since I was younger, I've been very quiet and I didn't want people thinking I was a stereotypical loner psychopath, so I'd try to act all pleasant to people even though I didn't really want to. I suppose also, there are certain people around whom (is that how you use whom?) I seem to shrink - around them, I feel really childish and I sound like one too.

So I just thought I'd post this thread to seek reassurance that this is a common thing and that I'm not just making it up to make myself feel better about my voice.

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Crealityisabeast

My voice changes when I talk to customers! I sound a lot nicer

I guess that's related to deception since I really don't want to talk to them! (That sounds really mean)

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iamphoenixfire

SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS

I only just realized that i do this. it is so weird.

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Axestopper Pete

I think the main factor in mine changing is how loud I'm talking.

That said, if I'm talking to someone I have a crush on, my voice usually goes very high pitched and quiet.

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Lona the Hobo Writer

Yes! My voice gets really high around some people and I sound like an idiot, especially my math teacher... (but he knows I'm not an idiot because of the As I get in math :D).It also gets really high when I talk loud, but not as high as the other voice. And then there's my real voice, which is pretty normal.

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asymptoticfreedom

Happens to everybody, under different circumstances. Studies have shown that the pitch of someone's voice will change depending on anxiety, their relationship to the person they're talking to, if they're attracted to that person, etc. I also notice that a lot of people will modulate their voice to be slightly higher pitched if they're trying to reassure someone or be polite or pleasant, or occasionally if they're intimidated by the person they're speaking to or don't want to give offence. I think it's a perfectly normal, common thing, and just another one of those quasi-subliminal cues that occur in navigating social interactions.

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Necron

I don't really notice other people doing it, but they probably do, so hopefully, the change in pitch isn't that noticeable.

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Zerο

Yeah, but my mood and state of mind are often bigger factors.

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SimplyJade

It depends on who I'm talking to. If I know the person I'm with and I'm relatively comfortable with them, my voice will be kinda like you said, childish, but let loose and casual? When I'm talking to people I don't know, or don't feel comfortable talking to them, my voice goes all reassuring, sweet sounding, and almost fake.

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willnightshade

Anyone else notice the big difference between the way you hear your voice in your head and the way it sounds in a recording? The way I hear my voice in my noggin' is kind of nasally and higher pitched compared to how it sounds recorded (deep and sexy as some have described it). Weird huh?

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ThePaperRose

I do the same thing! :)

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Fire & Rain

Totally. I sound very high-pitched and childish, you know, little girl's voice (who am I kidding? I'm childish in general lol) with people I'm close to. I'm cold as ice with strangers.

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Squirrel Combat

I've often raised my voice to sound nicer when I talk to a girl of romantic interest.

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MagicalElves

My voice gets higher when I'm asking a favor, more if it's a stranger. The more I have to ask of a waitress the higher my voice goes. My friends constantly mock me for it.

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5_♦♣

I don't talk much IRL, so I'm not sure how I'd describe my voice or if it changes depending on who I'm talking to.

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Mezzo Forte

I personally prefer more middle-of-the-road voice ranges (alto/tenor), and I wouldn't be surprised if that's why I tend to speak on the lower end of my register. I try to control the volume a bit too, but when I start going on tangents, I can't say that I am very conscious of how my voice sounds, and I can sometimes unintentionally get rather loud. (Strangely, asking me to intentionally speak loud is incredibly awkward though, and screaming is very unnatural for me.) I used to try and subdue my inflections a bit in the past too, though I can't say that I consciously do this nowadays.

I did recently perform in a piece that called for yelling though, and in order for the yelling to be clearly heard over our percussion playing, we were asked to use our head voice and sound like we're pretty much "screaming for our lives", and that was an interesting experiment in consciously controlling my speaking voice. I was the only female-bodied person in the ensemble, and once I started figuring out how to force my voice into a higher register (I think I needed to partially scream to pull it off at a higher volume), my voice became pretty easy to pick out from the ensemble. In fact, the most praise I have ever received for my voice in my entire life was because of that piece. According to my professor, my voice was "suited perfectly to the piece", the solo marimbist I was accompanying said that it made him smile, and my sister claimed that I "sounded like a yappy dog". I think that was the loudest and highest that I had ever manipulated my voice to be, which was interesting at the very least.

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warrigan

i definitely do this! usually if i'm around people i don't know or who are authority figures (teacher, councilor, coach, etc.), my voice gets higher. i usually don't even notice it at first, and i HATE it. it makes sense to me that it's tied to manipulation, since i often feel like i'm subconsciously trying to seem sweeter and more pleasant, when i usually just want to be myself!
also, yes, i do notice a difference between how i hear my voice and my voice in recordings...my voice is a lot higher in recordings! i feel like it makes people take me less seriously. :/

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Flower Boy

My voice get's a lot shakier and higher sounding when I'm nervous, uncomfortable or don't want to talk. -_-

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Fabulosity

Yeah, I didn't even notice until it was pointed out to me. Good mood = higher pitch; ickier mood = lower.

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Swimfreak660

I do the same thing. Whenever I talk to adults or people I don't feel comfortable around my voice gets really high, whereas when I talk to people I'm comfortable around my voice is really deep. I only noticed it when my friend pointed it out to me after I said hi to a teacher once.

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MarieAntoinette

Same here! With family and friends, my voice is a lot deeper and mature. But with people I don't know or customers at work, I have a much higher, smooth voice. It's so weird and I can't help doing it!

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Cablecar

My voice goes higher when I talk to strangers, I think it's because I'm nervous.

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TeddyMiller

I have a higher voice I use when talking to children and animals.

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Cali_Guy

My voice changes also. But I seem to also have a hearing issue.

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TheStarrySkai

Yes. I tend to have a rather low voice [for a biologically female person anyway...] but randomly I'll have a slightly higher pitched voice. Not super child-like high, but definitely higher than what I'm used to.

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Synchrèse

When I'm around the people who make me feel good and comfy my voice get lower and I breathe with my diaphragm instead of lungs. The more stressed and uncomfortable I get, the higher and thinner my voice become.

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Lenika

Yeah, when I feel like I have to sound girly I do. Naturally I'm lower voice for a female and kind of whinny sounding. I can't help it, but I was told it has something to do with my screaming so much as a baby. I don't mean to sound whiny but I do, least I think so. I feel that gives people the wrong impression since if I ever complain about ANYTHING I get told "Stop whining" right away sometimes even if I wasn't even complaining lol.

I also can not sing at all. Literally, its one flat tone. Also apparently from my excessive screaming as a baby.

I find my voice embarrassing and I think it sounds like a 12yo boy. The again I can't really hear my self. I sound much better speaking Russian. Russians speak in a lower tone than english.

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Unbanned

I find my voice embarrassing and I think it sounds like a 12yo boy.

That actually sounds pretty cute to me!

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Ladis

I tend to sound a lot mellower when I'm talking to clients, but they're usually a bit shaken up, so sounding calm helps. I think my voice gets lower around strangers. Feels like some form of defensive, 'make-yourself-seem-bigger' reflex. Who knows.

Around intimidating people like teachers, I wouldn't say my voice goes any higher or lower, but I know I get a lot quieter when I speak to them. And of course, the younger the animal, the higher the voice.

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sindi

Yes! I also have only recently become consciously aware of this. Apparently, when I act cold or assertive, couldn't care less what people think or am with my family, I use my natural, quite low voice. But in situations where it's beneficial to appear all sweet, innocent and sympathetic, I can't even help it that I start to speak in a higher, softer and more childlike voice :wacko: Even my gestures start to match that voice - I might for instance have nervous and shy mannerisms even if I don't feel that way. And it all happens automatically :blink:

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