butterfree Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I dunno if this belongs in this forum but... Sometimes I think I'm naive. Sometimes I don't connect what people say or things I do with sexual things that others clearly do. For instance.... I recall one of my co-workers saying how he could not sleep in his hotel b/c his roomate snored and saying he wish he could sleep in mine. Granted I'm sure he did not imply it that way (but regardless its a bit strange?) and I did not take it that way. I simply said I would have no problem with that and my boss chimed in and said that is not appropiate. It took me a second to understand why. I recall doing a dance move which i did not percieve at the time as being sexual in nature (its where you slide your hand around your head and down your chest) for an acting class mimic circle where everyone had to copy the dance move. My teacher looked suprised and I was left confused. Untill after I thought about it and was like yeah I guess it seemed innapropiate? And I have a question. How do you react when the conversation starts getting sexual around your friends or possibly co-workers? I just sit and listen. I want to try a different tactic. Maybe run away screaming?? lol Even sometimes I overreact when sexuality comes up. I just don't know how to react or act appropiately! I just don't know anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Personally I call it being sex blind. Kind of like what some people suffer called face blindness. My mind does not go to the sexual place naturally. I've had conversations with friends were we see the same scenario, and they are able to pick up the sexual innuendo that I completely miss. Yeah, like you, I do not really like to hear sex talk. Also like you I grin and bear it. I tend not to be very social, so that helps me avoid too many embarrassing situations. I can sympathize. Later Link to post Share on other sites
sound_the_bugle Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Sex-blind is a great way to put it. My brain very rarely goes to "the sex place" without prompting, so I tend to not catch the interpretations others make if it leans toward something of a sexual nature. For talk of sex, I'm always just interested or confused, but I have no problem hearing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 SInce I've heard enough of it for long enough, I can pick up in conversation sex topics. Some of it is annoying, some of it doesn't bother me Link to post Share on other sites
Melorian Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I often get told off for flirting by people when I'm really just trying to be nice. As a result people think I'm showing an interest in them. It has ended up being very awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
Touchofinsight Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I often get told off for flirting by people when I'm really just trying to be nice. As a result people think I'm showing an interest in them. It has ended up being very awkward. This type of behavior is usually created by the perceiver projecting their own desires or interpretation. There really is no definition of flirting its so incredibly subjective that and it is one the worst ways of communicating... Ever. There is a reason in our most early caveman years we had to evolve from communicating from only using body language and the occasional grunt/laugh etc to actual spoken word.... and flirting is a modern example of this lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Ravako Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I do it on purpose just for the fact that I notice it but am never embarrassed by it (until it gets too explicit that it's no longer fun to act clever about it). I also think I'm giving someone a chance to be non-sexual without jumping to being offended with someone's unintentional sexual connotations. I don't know. For some reason it's never bitten me in the ass yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Zash Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I am a bit sex blind, but I have started to see it better (as in more skilled), however, it does give me the ability to deliver sexual jokes in a deadpan manner, and make it seem like I am still clueless to what is going on. To much laughter from my friends. The great part is, if you can sell it, they other people don't even yell at you for making rude jokes, they all blame themselves for taking perfectly mundane comments to that place. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 People read me wrong all the time, I usually fail to read them the way they intend to be read, and it happens so much that it doesn't bother me. I think the problem arises from too many people putting too much stock in different schools of nonverbal communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Temierus Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 And I have a question. How do you react when the conversation starts getting sexual around your friends or possibly co-workers? I just sit and listen. I want to try a different tactic. Maybe run away screaming?? lol Even sometimes I overreact when sexuality comes up. I just don't know how to react or act appropiately! I just don't know anymore. When I finally pick up on it, is when people either ask for my input, or a sex joke was dropped, and everyone starts laughing. I typically just give them a blank zombie stare, which mimics what's going through my own mind of, 'I have... literally... no idea what's going on.' It's best when someone says a sex joke to you specifically. They do this wierd, awkward laugh, that almost seems like they are afraid of the fact that joke probably just flew three miles over your head. Then again, I think I enjoy making people seem socially awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
averylongwalk Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I miss understand a lot, but then I just pay more attention to their facial expressions and tone, then I realize. The way I deal with it is fun, I tease people and let them talk about it openly, I might ask a question or joke around but I think it's funny. Most of the time I've slept with way more people than the people I talk to, and that may make me more experienced, but I often just don't understand why sex/sexuality is such a sensitive topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Zash Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 And I have a question. How do you react when the conversation starts getting sexual around your friends or possibly co-workers? I just sit and listen. I want to try a different tactic. Maybe run away screaming?? lol Even sometimes I overreact when sexuality comes up. I just don't know how to react or act appropiately! I just don't know anymore. When I finally pick up on it, is when people either ask for my input, or a sex joke was dropped, and everyone starts laughing. I typically just give them a blank zombie stare, which mimics what's going through my own mind of, 'I have... literally... no idea what's going on.' It's best when someone says a sex joke to you specifically. They do this wierd, awkward laugh, that almost seems like they are afraid of the fact that joke probably just flew three miles over your head. Then again, I think I enjoy making people seem socially awkward. I think they are afraid the no reaction means you are offended by the sexual joke rather than that you just didn't understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Temierus Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 And I have a question. How do you react when the conversation starts getting sexual around your friends or possibly co-workers? I just sit and listen. I want to try a different tactic. Maybe run away screaming?? lol Even sometimes I overreact when sexuality comes up. I just don't know how to react or act appropiately! I just don't know anymore. When I finally pick up on it, is when people either ask for my input, or a sex joke was dropped, and everyone starts laughing. I typically just give them a blank zombie stare, which mimics what's going through my own mind of, 'I have... literally... no idea what's going on.' It's best when someone says a sex joke to you specifically. They do this wierd, awkward laugh, that almost seems like they are afraid of the fact that joke probably just flew three miles over your head. Then again, I think I enjoy making people seem socially awkward. I think they are afraid the no reaction means you are offended by the sexual joke rather than that you just didn't understand. Most of the people it happens to know I am pretty much never offended by anything. And oddly enough, where I work, our customers think that we can't be offended and we'll over look bigotry. Card players are wierd like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 I'm extremely oblivious in this sense. Link to post Share on other sites
ChrissyBear121 Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 I'm pretty bad about picking up on sex topics or jokes (both about sex and not). They almost always go over my head. One thing that I've learned to do is if I don't know the person I just nod, smile, and maybe try to figure out what they're saying later. If I know the person it's easier to just give them a blank stare or look confused, all my friends know by now that I don't get what they're saying when it comes to sex or jokes. Link to post Share on other sites
butterfree Posted April 27, 2014 Author Share Posted April 27, 2014 Personally I call it being sex blind. Kind of like what some people suffer called face blindness. My mind does not go to the sexual place naturally. I've had conversations with friends were we see the same scenario, and they are able to pick up the sexual innuendo that I completely miss. Yeah, like you, I do not really like to hear sex talk. Also like you I grin and bear it. I tend not to be very social, so that helps me avoid too many embarrassing situations. I can sympathize. Later I love the term 'sexual blindness' I'm adding that to my vocabulary. Link to post Share on other sites
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