Usernames are hard Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 There have probably been loads of these posts but I've searched and can't actually find one, but then, that may be my bad. In college right now me and a guy I have my course with have been talking a lot more and getting fairly close, I am pretty sure he could be interested in me and I know I am interested in him but I don't think I knows I'm Ace. I haven't been secret about it, he's been in the room when friends have asked me about things, and I wouldn't lie but the subject never comes up around him.I don't want to say it without an actual cause in case I am wrong about his feelings. Does anyone have any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
~Rikki~ Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Are you ever near each other while also on computers? You could always come to AVEN, hope he sees and asks about it. That's a start. Or just slip it in causally if you can. But it's better to get it out there as soon as possible so no hard feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
paperwishes Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I said this in another topic but I always say it right away. Best to get it over with and not let them believe they might have a chance to have sexual relations, and then if they ditch because they can't sleep with you then you didn't waste too much time on someone not worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
Usernames are hard Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 I'll try the computer thing, and will try and bring it up, true, I would rather not waste my time to be honest I've done enough of that already. Thanks :P Link to post Share on other sites
Ziggy_G Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 If you've got friends who know about u being ace you can always ask them to casually bring up/ask something that leads onto that topic, next time your in front of him together. Or if your any good at manipulating conversations you could just try getting the conversation onto it casually. Thats wat I would generally do, but manipulation is one of my hobbies :D But as for the when, yeh the sooner the better Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 There is a girl right now who is interested in me and showing it openly. As far as I see, I did nothing to bring this on, so it is not my responsibility to give her the "I am asexual" talk. I think this will either fade away in its own due course, or maybe it will develop into something good, although not sexual. I just don't see it as my responsibility to say anything in this particular instance. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Xavy, on 23 Apr 2014 - 5:54 PM, said:There is a girl right now who is interested in me and showing it openly. As far as I see, I did nothing to bring this on, so it is not my responsibility to give her the "I am asexual" talk. I think this will either fade away in its own due course, or maybe it will develop into something good, although not sexual. I just don't see it as my responsibility to say anything in this particular instance. It may not be your responsibility, but it would be kind to tell her. Because otherwise you're wasting her time. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 It may not be your responsibility, but it would be kind to tell her. Because otherwise you're wasting her time. Yup... however, if the entire interest is one sided, and dating etc. isn't even on the radar, I'd just make a "sorry, but I'm not interested, and don't see that changing in future, either" comment towards her. I'd agree that that's one case where coming out about being ace is not necessary... completely unlike a dating sitch, where I have a "first date or earlier" policy. Link to post Share on other sites
Zash Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 It may not be your responsibility, but it would be kind to tell her. Because otherwise you're wasting her time. Yup... however, if the entire interest is one sided, and dating etc. isn't even on the radar, I'd just make a "sorry, but I'm not interested, and don't see that changing in future, either" comment towards her. I'd agree that that's one case where coming out about being ace is not necessary... completely unlike a dating sitch, where I have a "first date or earlier" policy. Yeah, if you aren't interested at all, then just shutting them down with an "I'm not interested in you." is usually the best way. At least it is quick. However, be ready for the "Why?" or "What's wrong with me?" questions. Something generic along the lines of "You're not my type." or something usually works. Though, after that, you can ignore her; if she wants to waste her time chasing after the impossible after she knows it is impossible, that is her business. Link to post Share on other sites
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