Aelphaba1 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Any suggestions for how to come out to my clearly heterosexual partner that I am asexual? Fortunately, my partner hasn't started pressuring me for sex because we both want to wait until marriage, but has been hinting strongly towards second base. I'm fairly sure I won't want it ever. My prior experiences creeped me out immensely. I know my partner intends to propose, so I don't want to keep them in the dark. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Moved from Asexual Q&A to Asexual RelationshipsLiaAdministrator Link to post Share on other sites
ethereal_energy Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 You should definitely tell them as soon as possible. Maybe it won't be such a big shock; they may already suspect it. There's really no easy way to do it as far as I know. You just have to sit them down and talk to them about it. You can start by bringing up how you don't want sex before marriage. Then say that you may not want it ever. Say how the thought of it makes you feel. Mention whether and how much you are willing to compromise. If you want to get very in-depth right away then label it and show them this website. There are some helpful FAQs for people who know nothing about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Touchofinsight Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/100285-a-guide-for-coming-out-asexual-relationships-and-more/ Link to post Share on other sites
pixarsarah Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I'm in the exact same boat - if you come up with a good way to deal with this let me know! my boyfriend and I have dated for two and a half years and I thought I'd want to once I was married but I'm realizing I don't think I will. (I JUST found out asexual is a thing) GOOD LUCK! Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 Aelphaba1, on 22 Apr 2014 - 05:38 AM, said: Any suggestions for how to come out to my clearly heterosexual partner that I am asexual? Fortunately, my partner hasn't started pressuring me for sex because we both want to wait until marriage, but has been hinting strongly towards second base. I'm fairly sure I won't want it ever. My prior experiences creeped me out immensely. I know my partner intends to propose, so I don't want to keep them in the dark. Help! Tell them you know that you don't want to have sex with anyone. Emphasize the "anyone". Tell them you love them, and wish this could be different, but you know that it will not be any different after marriage, because it is who you are, and that you want them to know that before things go any further. It will be very difficult, but it would be much more difficult after marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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