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Affection


Shoomon

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Hi, everyone! I'm fairly new to AVEN and was wondering how all of you felt about giving/receiving affection. Would you rather take part in romantic/sensual/sexual activities or affection, or would you rather it be given to you but not return it?

For me it varies, sometimes multiple times a day. There are times when I feel in a very cuddly mood and would love to be affectionate toward someone. And then there are times, (and I find this mostly with my boyfriend) that I would much rather him be affectionate and I can detach myself from it.

So I was wondering where everyone fell on this and what your thoughts were!

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I am a weird case on affection. I am sensually-repulsed in some ways, mostly because of bad instances in my past, but other ways are fine. Hand holding is fine, leaning on my boyfriend is fine, and wrestling playfully is fine as long as I don't get too close.

But I see where you're coming from on the letting

him be affectionate and I can detach myself from it.

because I do let myself be more affectionate because I know he is. But I still have boundaries of what I'm okay with. And they aren't because of fear for anything sexual, because he's ace too.

Though I must admit, when I'm feeling blue or my back really hurts I crave affection like none other. All I want to do is lie down and hold his hand or snuggle with a friend. But that's the only time I really crave it. Mostly my attitude is just "oh, its nice, but I don't really need it."

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Touching, cuddling, caressing, kissing (varies person to person though)....except sex. That's what defines us asexuals here

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Romantic/sensual/affection all fall together for me. I am fine both giving and receiving. I might not mind giving sexually, but definitely not receiving and conditional as to how my partner viewed me gender wise (and on my terms, to add one more "rule").

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littleheartsofjoy

I'm fine with giving affection and receiving it. Sometimes I like to give random hugs but I'm shy so I might not always like to initiate. Sensual attraction only happens with a partner for me. I'm cool with hugs, cuddles and kisses (on the cheek and on the lips, but not a makeout session).

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paperwishes

I'm a naturally extremely affectionate person. Especially when I get in really emotional moods (like when I'm very sad sometimes), or when I am really sleepy haha. I am very touchy and huggy, and I like to nuzzle and hold hands. I don't limit this to people I am dating, and do it with just friends if I am close to them, though I don't have many of those (really only one right now). I do have times where I just want to leave it alone though.

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I like hugging everyone an being affectionate even with just friends. I can't really ever get into kissing. Only guys I really like. But I get bored after a little bit. Like I couldn't have one of those serious make out sessions because I would just be bored. Usually if it's just some guy at a party or whatever they can kiss on me but I don't feel like kissing them back. I'm like, "let's just dance."

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TheStarrySkai

I'm usually fine with giving and receiving hugs or being affectionate with my closer friends. If it's someone I don't know and they hug me I do tend to get awkward. As for kissing I've never kissed or have been kissed my anyone on the lips so I don't really know how I'd feel. I have been kissed on the cheek before and I was really surprised.

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WhenSummersGone

I love affection. Kissing, cuddling, holding hands and hugging. Mostly towards a romantic partner though. Affection is important to me while dating someone.

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Moved from Asexual Q&A to Asexual Musings and Rantings

Lia
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I've always enjoyed cuddling, hugging, and holding hands. Not so much with kissing. Kissing has always been really awkward for me, even with my wife, and "making out" just doesn't happen at all. Little "peck" kisses are all I'm comfortable with.

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Anime Pancake

For me personally, I'm happy to both give and receive acts of affection.

If I'm being affectionate to someone, I would like for them to show it return (this is assuming we both really like each other and are comfortable with one another and enjoy it). Likewise, if someone is being affectionate to me, I wouldn't want to be the only one receiving attention and love, so I would gladly return it to them as well.

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Janus the Fox
I'm indifferent to affection, I could take part in any if there was a desire or want to do so, Never felt it, nor recognize displays of affection. I feel I would prefer receiving affection rather than giving, with slight gender preference with males... Apparently very unusual for a male...
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thedragonsfate

I really love affection in the sense of hugs and cuddling and hand holding and just laying around on eachother, but sex (and sometimes kissing) puts me off. I'd much rather it be reciprocated of course, because I'd feel like I was shoving myself upon then, or vice versa.

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1/100 of me

For me it's highly variable. Sometimes I'm in a cuddly mood, sometimes I want to run away into the woods and never speak to people again. Sorry I can't give you a real answer. It just depends on my mood.

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ZombiesAsAMetaphor

I'm very affectionate. I love hugging and cuddling and just generally being in physical contact with friends and family. Nothing romantic or anything even resembling that – kissing and I suppose what's referred to as groping freak me out – but platonic physical affection makes me happy.

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My body craves physical affection and intimacy, particularly through hugging, cuddling, and hand holding. Pretty much anything else, namely kissing or sexual contact, however, I do not desire in the slightest. It's weird, I guess, how I so strongly desire these specific types of affection, and strongly do not desire the others.

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I've never been a very tactile person and only now realise it's probably to do with being asexual. I do the standard hello and goodbye hugs, but even then it can sometimes feel weird. Having been like this for many decades, I don't know whether I've got to the point where I've conditioned myself to feeling that I don't deserve any kind of physical affection (non-sexual of course), which has led me to feeling so awkward about it and give off signals that I don't want it, when in fact I would love to know what it would be like to have that kind of connection with someone.

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