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How should I identify myself?


sopon

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I've been having a sexuality crisis for the past week and am a bit distraught by it.

For a while, I have identified as bisexual, but I don't feel this really fits me. I was recently traveling in a more risqué neighborhood, and realized that boobs don't turn me on. Neither does pussy or penis. I am more interested in a person's physique and face than their genitals. The idea of sex as a whole also is a turnoff to me. I'm a virgin, but the ideas of anal and vaginal are both gross, although oral doesn't seem as bad as the other two.

I don't want to marry for love and sex. I don't want to marry for money or greed either. I want to find someone (of either sex) to spend my life with as a best friend who enjoys the same things as I do, without having sex or raising a family, and marry them for solely legal reasons (as in hospital visiting restrictions and stuff like that).

I know that demisexuals usually form crushes on people who they know well emotionally, but they usually end up having sex. I'm not completely turned off to hugging and kissing, although romance further than that might be a bit much for me. But are asexuals completely turned off to finding a lifelong partner in adventure and small amounts of romance, or do they mostly just live their lives in solitude? Where should I identify?

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tiny_dAnCer

Asexuals don't always live alone. In fact a majority on here are still attracted to someone. This sounds like you may be biromantic, but choosing a label is up to you.

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This sounds like you may be biromantic, but choosing a label is up to you.

Thank you for the advice. I know for sure that I am biromantic, I'm just looking for the proper sexual label, though.

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tiny_dAnCer

If you don't feel sexually attracted (you can still enjoy sex) then you would be asexual. If you are somewhere in the middle then that would be greysexual.

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If you don't feel sexually attracted (you can still enjoy sex) then you would be asexual. If you are somewhere in the middle then that would be greysexual.

The only sex I could see myself enjoying is oral, and if it was with a guy, I would have to be a top. Anal and vaginal are gross to me.

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Rather than finding a label, find something comfortable. Flick through whatever definitions you want, this will help give you an idea, but talk or associate with people in a similar boat.

For me, instead of me fitting to the label of being a grey ace, I've made it suit me. I still consider myself straight. Why should I consider myself a separate orientation that gets grouped with other orientations, solely on the fact that sex is mostly out of the picture?

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Rather than finding a label, find something comfortable. Flick through whatever definitions you want, this will help give you an idea, but talk or associate with people in a similar boat.

For me, instead of me fitting to the label of being a grey ace, I've made it suit me. I still consider myself straight. Why should I consider myself a separate orientation that gets grouped with other orientations, solely on the fact that sex is mostly out of the picture?

I'd still like to find which one is closest to how I feel, bisexual (because I wouldn't mind oral sex), asexual (because even though I might not mind oral sex, I'm not exactly into the whole idea of sex), or demisexual (because I want emotional, mostly non-sexual connections with a lifetime partner/husband/wife).

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Sounds to me like you could be grey too. Asexual and demi to me seem a bit extreme on either end, where as grey is "is in the grey area," in which it is somewhat confusing.

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Attraction is a complicated thing, and no one can attach a label to you but you. If none of the "established" labels fit you, there's no need to stress about it! Anyone to whom your sexual preferences would matter would, in an ideal situation, be openly communicating with you about it.

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