Incredible Aromantic Moments (other romantic orientations invited)

[Adam_Jensen]

If I was in that situation I would tell him to fuck off,not only he interrupts me while I'm enjoying my pizza (which is a crime of it's own) but also asking me personal questions??

Just who the hell you think you are bub? God the audacity those people have and they also call it flirting,more like leveling up their stalker abilities.

I always made sure to lie every time a situation like that happens. There was one time where we had an intern at the office who was stalked by a convenience store security guard (who, if I remember correctly, saw the intern inside the store and might've chatted with their sibling who was with them at that time). Kept on calling us and looked for them. Probably also stalked outside of the office.

Even 'friendly' people who are obviously catcalling creep me. Just this morning, I was going inside the bank and the guard told me 'hi, beautiful' and I kept sprint-walking inside and avoided eye contact at all times. *shudders*

Apperantly those people aren't familiar with concept of subtetly.

[beatlefan]

One of my best friends signed up for a dating site recently. We were with one of our co-workers in the car today talking about it, and the co-worker asked if I dated. "No, I hate dating," I said. We all laughed and both admitted to hating it, too. They can get past that feeling; I can't. I told my mom about it, and she was saying, "Well maybe you should give it a try." My response? "Eww, no. I'm just going to die alone." LOL. I was joking and am obviously not that level of pessimistic. But it is difficult to find a male companion when the selling point is "Romance makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not interested in having sex." Ya know? ;)

[Guest]

One of my best friends signed up for a dating site recently. We were with one of our co-workers in the car today talking about it, and the co-worker asked if I dated. "No, I hate dating," I said. We all laughed and both admitted to hating it, too. They can get past that feeling; I can't. I told my mom about it, and she was saying, "Well maybe you should give it a try." My response? "Eww, no. I'm just going to die alone." LOL. I was joking and am obviously not that level of pessimistic. But it is difficult to find a male companion when the selling point is "Romance makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not interested in having sex." Ya know? ;)

Trying to find a man who thinks that way is the same as trying to find a needle in a haystack! Another reason why i gave up searching for one because you never know how they respond when you mention you are not interested in sex or romance :lol:

[Zash]

One of my best friends signed up for a dating site recently. We were with one of our co-workers in the car today talking about it, and the co-worker asked if I dated. "No, I hate dating," I said. We all laughed and both admitted to hating it, too. They can get past that feeling; I can't. I told my mom about it, and she was saying, "Well maybe you should give it a try." My response? "Eww, no. I'm just going to die alone." LOL. I was joking and am obviously not that level of pessimistic. But it is difficult to find a male companion when the selling point is "Romance makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not interested in having sex." Ya know? ;)

Trying to find a man who thinks that way is the same as trying to find a needle in a haystack! Another reason why i gave up searching for one because you never know how they respond when you mention you are not interested in sex or romance :lol:

Well, you could go look for an aro/ace guy... Though, if the last census is anything to go by, ace/aro spectrum women outnumber men by at least 3 to 1. (The numbers don't show the exact cross-section of men that are both aro/ace, so was an estimate)

[Adam_Jensen]

Does anyone else find it annoying when in a tv show two characters are flirting??

Yesterday I was watching the new netflix series Luke Cage and in ep.1 he was flirting with that cop and I have to say the whole scene was awkward as hell.

Not to mention the over drawn sex scene that followed after that,I eventually had to skip it.

I don't mind if the flirting is just one or two lines,I can tolerate that but in some tv shows it goes on and on.In the end it becomes cringe worthy.

[UndeadWeapon]

I feel similar to you, Amoeba. Slightly related, but I honestly don't like it or quite understand either when two characters hate each other and yet end up in bed together. "I hate you so much I want to have your babies!"

[ChillaKilla]

So I'm in National Honors Society (which is basically a student merit recognition organization) and as part of membership we have monthly service projects. One of them was at a city park near my school, and I go out of district, I opted to get a ride from a good friend instead of forcing a family member to drive 45 minutes to school for a less than 10 minute drive to the park. After arrival, and for the subsequent 3 hours we were there cleaning up a river, I had no less than 3 people approach me saying "So... you got a ride from [friend]? What's up with that? *wink* Are you two... y'know?"

What the hell? I got a damn carpool ride and y'all are speculating? Romantic people are weird...

[Lovrina]

What the hell? I got a damn carpool ride and y'all are speculating? Romantic people are weird...

oh, you didn't know? the steps to dating go like this:

1) make an acquaintance

2) carpool

3) passionate, lust-filled romance

[Sockstealingnome]

What the hell? I got a damn carpool ride and y'all are speculating? Romantic people are weird...

oh, you didn't know? the steps to dating go like this:

1) make an acquaintance

2) carpool

3) passionate, lust-filled romance

You forgot step 2.5: You drop something and they pick it up for you followed by sexual tension as your fingers gently touch at which point, you make surprised eye contact before looking away and blushing.

[ChillaKilla]

More like I drop something and bend over suggestively, my rear facing them and with a lewd expression on my face, am I right?

[Adam_Jensen]

I feel similar to you, Amoeba. Slightly related, but I honestly don't like it or quite understand either when two characters hate each other and yet end up in bed together. "I hate you so much I want to have your babies!"

Yea the whole "I hate you but I want to fuck you" trope never made any sense what so ever.

And btw my user name is Adam.......Amoeba is just a title.Just so you know.

[UndeadWeapon]

I feel similar to you, Amoeba. Slightly related, but I honestly don't like it or quite understand either when two characters hate each other and yet end up in bed together. "I hate you so much I want to have your babies!"

Yea the whole "I hate you but I want to fuck you" trope never made any sense what so ever.

And btw my user name is Adam.......Amoeba is just a title.Just so you know.

Ah, sorry about that! For some reason I keep missing the username bit.

[Adam_Jensen]

I feel similar to you, Amoeba. Slightly related, but I honestly don't like it or quite understand either when two characters hate each other and yet end up in bed together. "I hate you so much I want to have your babies!"

Yea the whole "I hate you but I want to fuck you" trope never made any sense what so ever.

And btw my user name is Adam.......Amoeba is just a title.Just so you know.

Ah, sorry about that! For some reason I keep missing the username bit.

Nah no worries,it's cool.

[SpaceNebula]

I watch doctor who and at the beach scene where the Doctor and Rose are saying goodbye forever The Doctor says "and since it's my last chance to say it, Rose Tyler..." And he vanishes, I thought he was just saying her name, but according to the fandom he was going to tell her he loved her. I completely missed that there was even a romantic relationship there.

[fuzzipueo]

1 hour ago, MadelineD said:

I watch doctor who and at the beach scene where the Doctor and Rose are saying goodbye forever The Doctor says "and since it's my last chance to say it, Rose Tyler..." And he vanishes, I thought he was just saying her name, but according to the fandom he was going to tell her he loved her. I completely missed that there was even a romantic relationship there.

It's really forced and more infatuation on the part of Rose than any real romantic interest on the Doctor's part. The way I saw their relationship was one of a pair of fun loving people who were enjoying their adventures together. I thought that whole scene so stupid and ridiculous; I don't buy into the whole "I love you" thing. It's even worse with Martha.

 

Of course, fandom, in general, has a very different viewpoint ...

[Dodecahedron314]

1 hour ago, fuzzipueo said:

It's really forced and more infatuation on the part of Rose than any real romantic interest on the Doctor's part. The way I saw their relationship was one of a pair of fun loving people who were enjoying their adventures together. I thought that whole scene so stupid and ridiculous; I don't buy into the whole "I love you" thing. It's even worse with Martha.

 

Of course, fandom, in general, has a very different viewpoint ...

AAAAAAAAARGH. Don't even get me started on how they completely failed to give Rose any character development past her extremely shoehorned supposed newfound romantic interest in the Doctor for pretty much the entirety of season 2. Everything was going so well with season 1 and their dynamic was the most wonderful thing and gave me so much life specifically because they cared for each other so much and there wasn't even the slightest hint of romance anywhere and everything was great...and then season 2 happened and her character arc completely flatlined and every episode was suddenly required to have Companion Angst™ about how their Budding Relationship™ just Couldn't Last Forever™ (because it's not like we picked up on this *very subtle* foreshadowing of the end of the season the first 3 times this happened, no, we just had to have it reiterated an additional...10? ish? times), which also somehow managed to bleed over into a not insignificant portion of season 3 even though we'd already moved on to Martha by then. And argh, Martha. Don't get me started about Martha either.

 

Sorry, I just have Strong Opinions on season 2 in general. Mostly because I have Even Stronger Opinions on season 1, but still.  

[fuzzipueo]

3 minutes ago, Dodecahedron314 said:

AAAAAAAAARGH. Don't even get me started on how they completely failed to give Rose any character development past her extremely shoehorned supposed newfound romantic interest in the Doctor for pretty much the entirety of season 2. Everything was going so well with season 1 and their dynamic was the most wonderful thing and gave me so much life specifically because they cared for each other so much and there wasn't even the slightest hint of romance anywhere and everything was great...and then season 2 happened and her character arc completely flatlined and every episode was suddenly required to have Companion Angst™ about how their Budding Relationship™ just Couldn't Last Forever™ (because it's not like we picked up on this *very subtle* foreshadowing of the end of the season the first 3 times this happened, no, we just had to have it reiterated an additional...10? ish? times), which also somehow managed to bleed over into a not insignificant portion of season 3 even though we'd already moved on to Martha by then. And argh, Martha. Don't get me started about Martha either.

 

Sorry, I just have Strong Opinions on season 2 in general. Mostly because I have Even Stronger Opinions on season 1, but still.  

No, don't be sorry, let it all out!

 

For myself, I'm coming from an older era of Who when there was no "hanky-panky" going on in the TARDIS and if there was any, it was off screen and kept between the participants, so this new attempt to make the Doctor/Companion relationship into something more romantic really irritated the daylights out of me. I felt like RTD and, quite likely, Moffat, were trying to change the format, change a formula that had worked for well over 40s years at that point. Romance, if there was any, was kept to the Companions (Ian & Barbara, Ben & Polly [possibly], Jo & her scientist, Leela & Andred ...) and the Doctor watching with some bewilderment as his best friend(s) went off to live lives that did not include him - one of those consequences of being a highly mobile and long lived individual.

 

I agree with you on Rose's character. The moment they gave her the infatuation, her character tanked and I lost interest in her. She stopped growing into a capable adult and reversed course into teenaged or as you so aptly call it "Companion Angst™" X100. ::rollseyes:: If they'd played her part different in the last two episodes of series 4, had her actually acknowledge that she was ready to move beyond this thing, you know - matured - I would not have felt so robbed of a satisfying character arch. Instead, we get 10.2, DoctorDonna and the subsequent loss of one of the best companions of the current era, and that really, really, disturbing scene on the beach at the end ...

[Dodecahedron314]

7 hours ago, fuzzipueo said:

No, don't be sorry, let it all out!

 

For myself, I'm coming from an older era of Who when there was no "hanky-panky" going on in the TARDIS and if there was any, it was off screen and kept between the participants, so this new attempt to make the Doctor/Companion relationship into something more romantic really irritated the daylights out of me. I felt like RTD and, quite likely, Moffat, were trying to change the format, change a formula that had worked for well over 40s years at that point. Romance, if there was any, was kept to the Companions (Ian & Barbara, Ben & Polly [possibly], Jo & her scientist, Leela & Andred ...) and the Doctor watching with some bewilderment as his best friend(s) went off to live lives that did not include him - one of those consequences of being a highly mobile and long lived individual.

 

I agree with you on Rose's character. The moment they gave her the infatuation, her character tanked and I lost interest in her. She stopped growing into a capable adult and reversed course into teenaged or as you so aptly call it "Companion Angst™" X100. ::rollseyes:: If they'd played her part different in the last two episodes of series 4, had her actually acknowledge that she was ready to move beyond this thing, you know - matured - I would not have felt so robbed of a satisfying character arch. Instead, we get 10.2, DoctorDonna and the subsequent loss of one of the best companions of the current era, and that really, really, disturbing scene on the beach at the end ...

I can't speak much to the end of season 4 because I'm not that far in the series yet (I know, I'm behind the times...get it...times...because time travel...anyway), but I do know that at least as far as I personally am concerned, I can pinpoint the exact moment at which everything started going downhill for me in terms of this whole situation, and it's a very particular thing that I'll never forgive RTD for, from an episode that I still have strongly mixed feelings about to this day: the very end of the season 1 finale. I'll put this rant in a spoiler because it accidentally wound up being a huge wall of text, because...remember those Even Stronger Opinions about season 1? Yeah...those happened. Anyway:

Let me preface this by reiterating that Nine and Rose had one of the best dynamics that I've ever seen, in any form of fiction whatsoever, of any genre, ever. I just have a lot of feelings about how they clearly cared so much about each other and were there for each other through his recovering from dark PTSD-y Time War things and her seeing her literal entire planet get destroyed several times and the whole thing with the various versions of her family and just generally all the uncertainty that gallivanting through time and space brings, and there was not. one. whit. of. romance. ANYWHERE, which is so painfully rare in and of itself in pretty much the entirety of media. To quote the 3am text rant I sent to the friend who got me into the series after I watched this episode:

Quote

It's been established from the very first episode that there was never anything remotely like that in the works between them. Completely platonic hand holding? Yep. Completely platonic hugs and high fives and exchanges of remarks that would possibly be considered flirting if they weren't so absolutely and completely and utterly Not Meant In That Way? Absolutely. They care about each other so much, not because they're in love with each other or they want to make out or something like that, but because they just do! They're just two people adventuring around through time and space and enjoying the fact that they're doing so with a really awesome person, and that's IT. It gets brought up every time they run into someone new, and it gets shot down every time without so much of a hint of a wish otherwise like most other shows (added while transcribing into this post: and evidently everything from season 2 onwards ) can't resist including, because it's just Not A Thing. And it should never be A Thing. And neither of them ever wanted it to be A Thing. And they cared for each other just the same because they didn't need another reason, and there were never any hints otherwise, and that's so rare for a male and female character in anything, anywhere! 

 

...and then, the end of A Parting of Ways happens, and RTD decides to have them kiss, and I felt so...betrayed. That entire episode was a rollercoaster in the first place because I still had emotional whiplash from going from despairing over how they could possibly resolve the conflict without wiping out every living thing involved to being angry at how Rose was sent away to being utterly baffled and in disbelief at the sheer mind-boggling deus ex machina of the entire Rose getting TARDIS-ified incident to being in awe of how beautifully they managed to pull that off. 

And then. The $%^&ing kiss happens. Don't tell me it was necessary so that he could absorb the excess TARDIS energy, because if all they needed was physical contact, you know what they could have done? Hugged, like they hugged when Rose was broken up about everything that happened in Father's Day. Taken each other's hand, like they did so many times throughout the series when it seemed like all was lost and all they had was the knowledge that even if they might not make it through all this, they were sure as heck going to try, and they had each other's back for it. As I said in the aforementioned text rant: 

Quote

those gestures have already meant something for the entire series, and they would bring the whole thing full circle and be even more bittersweet because you know it's the end but they're still interacting in the same comforting way that they have been all along, and it has a real effect, because it literally saves her life. 

 

But instead, RTD had them kiss, and that just immensely cheapened the entire thing and turned an utterly gut-wrenchingly poignant moment into $%^&ing romantic fanservice (because you know this is what all the goddang shippers have been waiting for all season because some people have no narrative priorities whatsoever and amatonormativity is why we can't have nice things ), and I still haven't forgiven him for that. Call me petty, call me overly sensitive, call me whatever you want, but as far as I'm concerned, that was one of the worst instances of straight-up betrayal from the writer that I've ever experienced in any work of fiction. 

 

...and then Ten happened, and seasons 2 and 3 all went downhill from there.  I'm told season 4 is better, but haven't gotten around to it yet. I've only recently gotten any nonzero amount of free time in which to watch it, and I'm still salty about Martha's entire existence. She was just so painfully useless through the whole season...and IMHO, if you're going to leave of your own free will when you have the option to literally explore the entire universe in person, I'm sorry, but maybe you don't deserve to be a companion in the first place. (Rose would have handled all of that so much better...she just deserved so much better from the end of series 1 onward. Just....argh. I'm going to stop now. And possibly start watching series 4 in hopes that it'll make me feel better.) 

[Dodecahedron314]

Double post

[Sibemarie]

On 01/10/2016 at 11:15 AM, Jayce said:

Trying to find a man who thinks that way is the same as trying to find a needle in a haystack! Another reason why i gave up searching for one because you never know how they respond when you mention you are not interested in sex or romance

I consider myself lucky that i found that guy. We started as aquaintances and we developed to a amazing friendship that is a very strong bond but no more than that. No romance no sex. Our love is brotherly love, we are very close and connected mentally lets call "soulmates". But it has a very sad side to it. The sadness is that he's going through very tough hardships in his life and i have to work abroad often now to escape the increasing poverty in my country. We spend a lot of time without each other's company But it is so good to have the male companion, partner, so if i found, i hope you can find that guy as well, somewhere, somehow. Sadly they are very rare...

[Sibemarie]

I was working once on a place near a small town in the center of Portugal, where a lot of people (civilians and soldiers) were living in the same neighboorhood. Most people were away from their hometowns so they end up socializing there, on the local clubs, etc.

One of the guys got to know me, and he started having feelings for me. Some girls told me.

I was upset, but since he was nice and polite to me, i keept talking well with him (trying however to keep some distance)

When a guy behaves like flirting or trying to make advances i get really annoyed and i just want it to end, it really bothers me.

He gradually tried to look too nice to me, so since i tried to look "clueless" about what was happening, he tried to make some advance.

He started telling me about him, and that he had relationships that ended badly, broken heart and whatever happen to them romantic people. I tried to manage something to say like "Well, that's...bad, but hmm, well life goes on i think" I actually dont know what to say to the romantic people specially if they are trying to advance. It was awkward, like being on a "alien culture." I tried to make something between being nice, but as well not too nice and make my body language non-receptive as much as possible. Hated the situation.

Anyway he used to compliment me telling how nice i was and unique (yeah guess why, dude...) Soon after he gave me a Celtic music cd, and i was thinkig "oh sh*t..." and i was like, wide eyed, tense, but with a friendly smile "Oh wow, thanks, this is cool" with my thumbs up or whatever. Can you guys imagine the awkward situation?

He keept on trying something, i tried as much as possible to not be alone with him in any situation at the club, cafe or anywhere. But once he came around afterwork and he started talking again about him, that he wanted to be happy and find love again, (oh dear... , here we go again...) bla bla, and then know about me, so he started asking what i would like to find, and i replied

Me "i would like to be happy and have friends, climb mountains, travel, and play  music"

Him "Well...but what about your life, i mean, yourself, to your personal life...?"

Me: "Yes, thats it...to my personal life, i would like to have friends, travel, play music...thats it!"

He made made the most awkward confused silence ever. I smiled.

I think he kind of start slowly giving up or going confused, but fortunatelly i left soon afterwards to my home city happily to my friends and family, while the poor dude - i even felt sorry for the poor clueless guy - stayed there, very sad in the day of my departure.

[RazorEddie]

I had a good one the other day. I am in the process of renovating my house. I was showing my sister around and we were discussing the lights in the living room. There are two sets of lights, bright downlights and more subdued uplights 'for that romantic atmosphere'. At that point both looked at each other for a moment then I burst out laughing - "Well, I'm not going to need those then!"

[Arvid of Rivendell]

I'm sure this one's pretty common, but a recurring Aro Moment of mine is every time my parents talk about me dating and getting married (only heterosexual relationships, of course ). Ha, nope, never gonna happen. 

[Hermit Advocate]

This is kind of and aro/ace moment. Years ago, my older cousin was taking my sister and I to a movie, I must have been around 9. She was putting on make up and I asked her why she was doing that. 

 

Cousin: well, what if I see a cute guy there?

Me: so? We're going to see a movie, who cares what you look like?

Cousin: Well I want to look nice for them.

Me: Are they coming to the movie with us?

Cousin: No, it's just in case.

Me: ???  whatever, can we go now?

 

To this day I still don't understand why girls feel like they have to put makeup on just to go to the grocery store. 

[bonny]

It is reported in the news that actors Martin Freeman and Amanda Abbington have separated after being together for 16 years and having 2 children. Abbington is quoted as saying: "Martin and I remain best friends and love each other...we just said that we couldn’t live together anymore..."

 

I don't get it. If I could find a person who I loved and who was my best friend, I can't think of anyone I'd be more willing to live together with.   

 

[nerdperson777]

I don't get why but this happened.  Last night I dreamt that someone kissed me by surprise.  Ew.  My dreams have stopped being bloodless and horrible things happen but why this horror?

[kani]

On 23.12.2016 at 11:28 PM, bonny said:

It is reported in the news that actors Martin Freeman and Amanda Abbington have separated after being together for 16 years and having 2 children. Abbington is quoted as saying: "Martin and I remain best friends and love each other...we just said that we couldn’t live together anymore..."

 

I don't get it. If I could find a person who I loved and who was my best friend, I can't think of anyone I'd be more willing to live together with.   

 

I don't know how much of that is just putting it as nicely as they can so the papers and news sites wouldn't make a difficult time any harder for them. :/

But sure it's also possible they still love each other romantically and not just platonically, since living together can be so draining, especially when you have kids and careers.

[bonny]

One of the little girls at the day nursery where I work, was playing a game of throwing a bouquet of paper flowers - imitating the wedding tradition - and getting a teacher to catch it. Firstly a teacher who is planning her wedding played the game and caught the bouquet. Then the little girl wanted me to play the same game with her. I put my hands in my pockets and said "I don't have anyone I want to get married to." 

 

[ChillaKilla]

Using an app to help me with learning Chinese on my phone and one of the prompts was (in Mandarin) "I am a husband" and I was like... Not on my watch!  

[Ettina]

At the end of Tales From The Borderlands:

 

"You and 8.9% of players refused to ship Rhys and Sasha."

 

(If you need background: the Telltale Games series is essentially a series of video games of 'choose your own adventure' where you play through a story and choose your character's actions. At the end, the game tells you what percentage of people choose the same as you.)

 

I tried so hard to not ship them. I didn't want Rhys to be a complete dick, but I did choose the least romantic option I could in most of their interactions. It ended up as him coming across as either in denial or just embarrassed by how much she was into him. But I still couldn't make him completely aromantic, because in a conversation with Sasha's sister Fiona the least romantic option was to say he liked someone else (only 1.3% of people made that choice, and the game outright says you were lying if you do, but I think if he must be shipped Fiona is a much more suitable choice).