Incredible Aromantic Moments (other romantic orientations invited)

[deltaX]

I definitely wouldn't want to be next either; I can imagine it would just be pure awkwardness for everyone involved.

And even if I were romantic I don't think I'd want to give out my number to some random guy who gave me roses at a park. That just always seemed unsafe and irrational to me, and I never understood how people managed to get numbers from strangers.

[TiffanyJung]

As for romantics... well, here's my theory: maybe they develop feelings for someone, but then before the feelings get major they start to dislike the person, which causes them to get angry that they like the person when at the same time they think that they're an a**hole, so they shouldn't be liking that person, which starts a black hole of dislike and like all swirled up into one big mess..

*Facepalm *Ummmm......Nope. We don't start to hate them. It's our way denying that we have those feelings in the first place.

[MakotoYuki]

An Aromantic moment I had happened proboly a year ago before I knew I was Aromantic.

Everyone around me was telling me for the past week about their girlfriends and I was really getting pressured into finding one. I was telling myself "Okay I should defiently try to find one I am in college" anyway that night I was at dinner and sitting by myself, my phone had died so I was watching my surroundings more intently then I normally would, I noticed that this one girl was constantly watching me and would go out of her way to go back to her table to have a good view of me as she walked by. first I was like "Huh that's odd, wonder why she did that" then she did it again and I noticed her stareing at me well she was eating. That's when it all clicked and I was like "oh, that's what she is doing, proboly not a good idea for her." I then stopped and was like "Wasent an hour ago I all for this?" (True Aromantic self showed itself shining through the facade of social expectations in that moment) deciding I would just finish my food and ditch I kept an eye on her to make sure I wouldn't get caught off guard and when I was close to being done I noticed her "miss" where she would normally turn off and come walking towards me, picking up on this i sighed and put my fork and knife down and folded my arms so I was low key holding my pocket knife. She came over and asked me to go sit with her and her friends since I looked loney. Not wanting to be rude (and not realizing the hell I would put myself through) I agreed and moved over to their table, where I dodged questions and tryed to stay quiet, eventually she sat right next to me (borderline on top of me) and told me that she Really liked me and wanted to get to know me better and asked me to join her bible study group. Having an internal mild panic attack I ended up saying that I wasent catholic, I then got up thanked them for their hospitality and borderline ran for the plate return and door. Avoided that place for 2 weeks. When I told everyone this story they where like "Dude what is wrong with you!!" and I was just like "Dude I just wasent ready for a relationship yet."

[SpeedinThroughSpace]

Today I realized I probably used the word 'romantic' wrong all my life... Kind of like with 'hot' (which I assumed meant 'beautiful and eye-catching', and used that way all the time... Still do, old habits are hard to break).

I quite often for example refer to places as romantic. A small beach, a backyard with flowers, a bench by a pond, places like that. When I say "this place is quite romantic", I mean " this place is nice and cozy and has a comfortable atmosphere, I enjoy staying here and relaxing ". Funnily, romantic places are really good to visit alone, because nobody is there to get on your nerves and destroy that atmosphere. (That's the introvert talking, I suppose.)

There are also 'romantic' activities, like stargazing, night time swimming, moonlit walks and stuff, that I think are really nice... By myself, or with a friend. I've been stargazing with friends, it was great. We saw the Milky Way! :)

Most of these things are awesome by myself, though. It's about enjoying the atmosphere. I like the atmosphere. And somehow, I always assumed that 'romantic' describes this nice, thoughtful, calm atmosphere. It only just occurred to me that people probably mean "I would like to be here/do this with my romantic partner".

Now, I've got nothing against people enjoying these things with their significant others, no, not at all. I just totally misunderstood the word, I think... I seem to do that a lot?

Now I need a new word for the mood/atmosphere I previously called 'romantic'. Suggestions are welcome. ;)

[bonny]

Now I need a new word for the mood/atmosphere I previously called 'romantic'. Suggestions are welcome. ;)

Could the places be called...tranquil? peaceful? The activities...inspiring? elevating?

[SpeedinThroughSpace]

Now I need a new word for the mood/atmosphere I previously called 'romantic'. Suggestions are welcome. ;)

Could the places be called...tranquil? peaceful? The activities...inspiring? elevating?

Peaceful is good. :) Inspiring is not bad either, but it doesn't feel like it completely encompasses the experience...

[Elluna Hellen]

When you're in a chat, and you tell someone you're aro and you've never had a crush.

"Well 25 is still very young, maybe the time hasn't been right yet"

now keep in mind the person telling me that was 19. I literally got the 'too young to know' argument from someone YOUNGER than me. And honestly? It made me laugh. :lol:

This happened a while ago, but still xD.

[Topi]

One day I was walking with my sister and she was talking about the mess her classmates had made in their class dinner and she went like this:

"X was dating Y and dating Z at the same time, but Z didn't know nor did Y." In my language dating can have the same meaning as walking and because of my lack of talking about the issue with friends and family, my first reaction was: "Why is Y mad? They were only walking..." A few moments of silence with my sister looking at me and then I understood the situation... "Wait! You are saying the dating type of walking aren't you?"

And she just said like: Duh! Why would Y be mad if it was just a walk? You go walking with mom everyday without me and I don't feel mad...

So we just started to laugh about this.

After, while eating lunch we made lots of jokes about the situation and more aro things. (Still I don't really know what label I am but I found this funny and a good aro moment).

[Topi]

Another aro moment I just remembered...

Once for a class we could choose a song, movie, book (well whatever we wanted) to do an oral presentation, so I choose a song that I really liked. I thought that it was about addictions such as drugs, but when I went search about the meaning, I saw an interview of the vocalist saying it was about a toxic love relationship and I felt very disappointed. Later decided to forget the real meaning and just go by my meaning which is better in my mind.

And just today I realized that my all times favorite manga is about a boarding school whose main characters never really started dating. They ended up living together but as friends that sleep in the same bed, are always together (in like two occasions they even shared chaste kisses) and I consider that relationship as something I would love to live because is so pure and profund. I believe it's stronger than a love relationship (everyone was very against the ending they wanted they to be as lovers), but to me this made the most sense. To me this is explains what soulmates are and it was perfect.

[Homer]

There are way too many aro moments on here where the aromantic person doesn't get what's going on. This one is different.

Today I overheard a woman on her phone speaking about her boyfriend. She likes the sunny weather, hanging out at the beach, the like. He doesn't, not at all. The other day she dragged him to the beach anyway and he basically went into death mode, totally apathetic. After a while she tried to provoke him; she said something along the lines of "Oh, how about we just return home?", hoping to get him to say "But no, my precious sweetheart, we have only been here for six hours and as you like the beach so much, I would gladly stay here with you for another four."

Instead he just said "Ok, if you want to", got up and was ready to leave about half a second later. Needless to say, she was not amused. What on earth did she expect? Even I know that this is not how things work :D

[Poldi]

I've been on 3 separate dates that I didn't realize we're dates. All I knew was that my friend asked me if I wanted to see a movie, and while we were seeing a movie we might as well get food too, and eating food and watching movies is totally something that friends do, so I happily agreed. The friend insists on paying for my food and movie ticket (classic date sign so I'm told) so I'm like wait a minute......aw hell, I'm an idiot. So then I spend the whole movie like oh man this is weird, please don't try to hold my hand, please pleeeaaaase don't try to hold my hand...And then there comes the end of the movie where you're about to go home and the person is expecting a kiss and I just mumbled 'Thanksforthemovieokaybye' and bolted to my car. 3 times I've done this. With 3 different people. Unknowingly. BUT IT WAS LITERALY DINNER AND A MOVIE! My romantic friends cry at my stupidity, HOW DID YOU NOT GET THAT??? Idk, cause I would love to eat food and see a movie with friends and not want to put their face on my face, call me crazy

[Guest]

I've been on 3 separate dates that I didn't realize we're dates. All I knew was that my friend asked me if I wanted to see a movie, and while we were seeing a movie we might as well get food too, and eating food and watching movies is totally something that friends do, so I happily agreed. The friend insists on paying for my food and movie ticket (classic date sign so I'm told) so I'm like wait a minute......aw hell, I'm an idiot. So then I spend the whole movie like oh man this is weird, please don't try to hold my hand, please pleeeaaaase don't try to hold my hand...And then there comes the end of the movie where you're about to go home and the person is expecting a kiss and I just mumbled 'Thanksforthemovieokaybye' and bolted to my car. 3 times I've done this. With 3 different people. Unknowingly. BUT IT WAS LITERALY DINNER AND A MOVIE! My romantic friends cry at my stupidity, HOW DID YOU NOT GET THAT??? Idk, cause I would love to eat food and see a movie with friends and not want to put their face on my face, call me crazy

What about discovering 10 years later when you figure out being aromantic that you went on DATES instead of just hanging out...

And you always wondered they never wanted anything further meetups... :(

Another aro moment I just remembered...

Once for a class we could choose a song, movie, book (well whatever we wanted) to do an oral presentation, so I choose a song that I really liked. I thought that it was about addictions such as drugs, but when I went search about the meaning, I saw an interview of the vocalist saying it was about a toxic love relationship and I felt very disappointed. Later decided to forget the real meaning and just go by my meaning which is better in my mind.

And just today I realized that my all times favorite manga is about a boarding school whose main characters never really started dating. They ended up living together but as friends that sleep in the same bed, are always together (in like two occasions they even shared chaste kisses) and I consider that relationship as something I would love to live because is so pure and profund. I believe it's stronger than a love relationship (everyone was very against the ending they wanted they to be as lovers), but to me this made the most sense. To me this is explains what soulmates are and it was perfect.

Now I want to know which manga this is :S

[Cat Obsessed]

Something I just realized:

Some context:

There is this young adult book series that I liked. It has four couples in it since the books where based on fairy tales it was clear who would end up with who

(Sorry that is vague... I don't want to spoil the books for anyone who wants to read them)

A few months ago I thought one of the couples was an unhealthy relationship because I thought the guy in the relationship was obsessed with the girl.

He got depressed because she was kidnapped and potentially died.

However he was more or less okay when his mom died and a horrible thing happened to him. (He spent his whole life trying to prevent that horrible thing from happening to him), I thought the author should have made him depressed when those two events happened. The fact he didn't made me think he had an unhealthy obsession with the girl.

I told this to someone else who read the books and she told me the relationship was healthy.

I just realized it probably is a healthy relationship... for a romantic relationship. I basically saw all the characters in platonic relationships.

I guess romantic love is basically being obsessed with the person you love (or something like that) XD

[Ayuhime]

Something I just realized:

Some context:

There is this young adult book series that I liked. It has four couples in it since the books where based on fairy tales it was clear who would end up with who

(Sorry that is vague... I don't want to spoil the books for anyone who wants to read them)

A few months ago I thought one of the couples was an unhealthy relationship because I thought the guy in the relationship was obsessed with the girl.

He got depressed because she was kidnapped and potentially died.

However he was more or less okay when his mom died and a horrible thing happened to him. (He spent his whole life trying to prevent that horrible thing from happening to him), I thought the author should have made him depressed when those two events happened. The fact he didn't made me think he had an unhealthy obsession with the girl.

I told this to someone else who read the books and she told me the relationship was healthy.

I just realized it probably is a healthy relationship... for a romantic relationship. I basically saw all the characters in platonic relationships.

I guess romantic love is basically being obsessed with the person you love (or something like that) XD

Woah. I haven't read rest of the replies yet but now that I think about it, I did something similiar frequently.

You see, I used to roleplay as a character from a series I like and we would make romance roleplays with my rp partner- and since romance is supposed to be so much more powerful than normal love appearantly, I would just go along and let my character get so devastated because I loved writing angst. But when I actually started to think about it, it suddenly started to feel odd.

Would one person really have such a power on other's mental well-being? Sure, romantic love is supposed to hurt so bad but would it do that to life destroying point? Weren't we just exaggerating things for angst? Does people truly feel so utterly destroyed from a single relationship?

I started to question that pretty frequently once I started and I always would be skeptical of my friend's positive replies about that's how being in love would be.

So this kinda makes me certain that I am at least Grey, if not full Aro. (Which is also as likely.)

Edit: I just remembered an example aro moment- I didn't know about asexuality and aromanticism when it happened but I remember asking the girl which I thought I had a crush on how it felt to have a crush and I would know if it was different from the love and desire to be together with/for my close friends, ones I felt that we connected mentally and emotionally. She was pretty feminine and biromantic sexual from what I know, so she tried to explain it but I couldn't understand how what she described differed from what I felt for friends. I then later told her I might have feelings for her and we started to date but I couldn't feel that it felt natural to be mushy and ended up acting rather friend-like because it only felt right.

What is amusing is, she was the only person that made me question if I was Grey instead from what I remembered, but now that I remember this part, it sounds painfully obvious that I had a squish and I am pretty aro xD

[COCheetahLeopard]

There was this guy I met in the beginning of 7th grade. He was really nice to me all the time and kept offering to carry my binders and stuff. I'm a touchy person (like I hug people a lot) so I didn't really realize it was odd when he hugged me all of the time.

In my math class these boys kept asking if we were dating and at that time I had only just broken up with my first and only boyfriend after I realized that the love I have for him is more familial than anything else (I didn't identify as aro until about 6 months later) and I was so confused and asked them how you know if you like someone and what you do if you like someone romanticly. And that's how I realized the guy was flirting. He later asked me to the Valentines dance and that was super awkward.

Also my dad's gf and her son were talking about finding a nice girl for him and I found it so funny for whatever reason. And then the son turns to me to get the heat off of him and asked if I had a crush on anyone and I just started laughing and fell of my chair and couldn' stop and he looked so lost and confused.

[GloomyGhost]

When I was in high school we had a couple older foreign students come to our school for a week to do fun programs for us, present their countries etc. So this one girl was one time just talking to our class about general stuff, cultural differences etc. and then she points at me and says "If you saw a person on the street and you knew it was the love of your life, what would you do?". I said "Uhh... nothing?" and she was all like "But it could be your soulmate! You might miss your only chance and never see them again!" and I just shrugged "Yeah, I'll stick with nothing." I don't know what kind of cultural differences she derived from this exchange (or whatever was the goal), but I have a feeling she picked a wrong person for this :D

[COCheetahLeopard]

In middle school there was some game where one boy would tell a girl that his friend (another boy) liked her to make the other two flustered. I was so indifferent to romantic things that I would shrug and walk away.

My other kind of aro moment I remember was before I grew indifferent to those things I was afraid of them. In second grade I found out a boy liked me just before I was going to his birthday party. It scared me so much I made my dad pretend I was sick so I wouldn't have to go.

That was a thing in my school as well. Especially among this group of boys in my math lass (always the math class). They always seemed to use me and I always wondered why, I would just shrug until my no-sarcasm filter snapped one day and I just looked at the guy who had been told he had a crush on me (I actually talked to him all the time and he's lithromantic) and said, "Do you? Do you /really/?" and he knew me so he said, equally sarcastic, "Indeed, indeed I do. Actually, can we be considered boyfriend and girlfriend now?" . I agreed and them we both rolled our eyes and went back to our work. A few minutes later I turned to him dramatically and said, "You have been neglecting me for the past few minutes! Why do I even love you?!". He smirked before pointing at my work partner and said something about me cheating and we basically dramatically broke up and the boys in my math class never told me anyone had a crush on me until the end of the year.

[All the little Lights]

Today I realized I probably used the word 'romantic' wrong all my life... Kind of like with 'hot' (which I assumed meant 'beautiful and eye-catching', and used that way all the time... Still do, old habits are hard to break).

I quite often for example refer to places as romantic. A small beach, a backyard with flowers, a bench by a pond, places like that. When I say "this place is quite romantic", I mean " this place is nice and cozy and has a comfortable atmosphere, I enjoy staying here and relaxing ". Funnily, romantic places are really good to visit alone, because nobody is there to get on your nerves and destroy that atmosphere. (That's the introvert talking, I suppose.)

There are also 'romantic' activities, like stargazing, night time swimming, moonlit walks and stuff, that I think are really nice... By myself, or with a friend. I've been stargazing with friends, it was great. We saw the Milky Way! :)

Most of these things are awesome by myself, though. It's about enjoying the atmosphere. I like the atmosphere. And somehow, I always assumed that 'romantic' describes this nice, thoughtful, calm atmosphere. It only just occurred to me that people probably mean "I would like to be here/do this with my romantic partner".

Now, I've got nothing against people enjoying these things with their significant others, no, not at all. I just totally misunderstood the word, I think... I seem to do that a lot?

Now I need a new word for the mood/atmosphere I previously called 'romantic'. Suggestions are welcome. ;)

I could and will also probably never understand the concept of romance. I mean, I like the things and places that are called " romantic", but I just can't see it. What is the common factor?

Once, someone (A) who is older than me tried to explain romance to me.

Also appearing in the story: someone, B, a little younger than me. I'm not completely sure if they understood romance at that time.

Setting:near a fireplace, which is what brought us to the topic I think.

Me:So, I don't get it. What is romance?

A:laughing and telling me I will understand that when I get older.

B:Trying to explain it similarly as SpeedingthroughSpace with describing of the settings and activities.

Me: But I don't get it...

At that time I had no clue what aromanticism means, but I still knew that A probably wasn't right.

So I have the opposite of SpeedingtroughSpace's experience:-)

[Not-smitten-kitten]

Something I just realized:

I guess romantic love is basically being obsessed with the person you love (or something like that) XD

^ That's what I come to believe as well! How is this healthy??

Also, I'm constantly baffled by movies or books where two people who have known each other for about two seconds get married and want to have kids or are ready to die for one another. I mean...seriously?

[Ellamerre]

I 'picked' who to have a crush on :P When I was about 8 I was given this very 'girly' scrap book and one of the blanks you could fill in was "First crush:_______". I thought about it and was like "Oh, yeah...I guess maybe I'm old enough to like someone by now......Crud! Who do I like?! There's got to be someone!!!" I couldn't think of anyone so I started going through this mental list of all the boys I knew trying to think of things that would make them a crush candidate! :P Eventually I picked a good friend that I admired because of his adventurous toughness. Plus he didn't look too shabby.

Years later when someone asked me that wonderful question "who do you like??" I used the same guy as my answer. Then! -of all things, the person who asked me followed up with "what do you like about him?" And I panicked for a second and then started listing random likable things about him :P "Well we've been friends since we were tiny kids. He's really adventurous and brave. He has pretty eyes and cool hair..." :D :P Apparently I was convincing because the asker responded with something like "Aw! He sounds great!" :D I felt so stealthy :P

[EmotionalAndroid]

Today one of my co-workers was talking about that story of the guy who sat at the airport for hours waiting for his "internet girlfriend" who never showe dup. Then he said "The only thing sadder than that is this book I saw called Microwave Cooking For One. Talk about forever alone! If you buy that book you are just committed to giving up."

I was just sitting there thinking "That sounds like my kind of book." :P *insert secret inner aro ace laugh here*

[Momoo]

A year ago my mother got into K-Drama and since then every time she discovers a new series she talks none stop about it. I'm suffering.

[Ursula42]

Today I realized I probably used the word 'romantic' wrong all my life... Kind of like with 'hot' (which I assumed meant 'beautiful and eye-catching', and used that way all the time... Still do, old habits are hard to break).

A little off topic for amazing Aro moments , but I would say, you weren't entirely wrong in the way you used it, just, maybe old fashioned? Romantic didn't always refer exclusively to love & relationships, it could mean, more accurately "Full of Emotion", in a kind of "nothing to do with logic", sort of way - if you look at Romantic painters, it's not hearts and flowers romance, it's more "Lets tell this story with MAXIMUM FEELINGS". A romantic landscape painting is one that tries to evoke the feeling of a place rather than the reality of it, and thus particularly evocative landscapes got to be romantic forever. A romantic novel, is really one best described as being full of human emotion, not just the love one. So, if you were using it to describe places that felt full of feelings, that's entirely correct in my opinion!

.... and this may be officially the least (love)romantic thing I've ever written. So maybe not so off topic after all?

[Zash]

Today one of my co-workers was talking about that story of the guy who sat at the airport for hours waiting for his "internet girlfriend" who never showe dup. Then he said "The only thing sadder than that is this book I saw called Microwave Cooking For One. Talk about forever alone! If you buy that book you are just committed to giving up."

I was just sitting there thinking "That sounds like my kind of book." :P *insert secret inner aro ace laugh here*

Here you go: https://www.microwavecookingforone.com/

[Lightning Blue Ray]

Today's sermon was about boundaries in dating. Not exactly my kind of topic to discuss in church.

[FOXracingfan]

Maybe it's just me but it takes me MUCH longer than texting for a couple days to develop feelings for someone. My gosh it took me a good 4 years to develop very strong feelings for a guy one time. So when someone who I've only talked to over text before tells me after two days they are interested in dating I do not understand. Where do those feelings come from? How do you know me well enough to claim you have romantic feelings toward me? I just don't get it.

[Sisky]

We read a book with love stories in middle school and the only one that wasn't completely cringeworthy wasn't even a love story. (Though, to be fair, they were actually horrible. One 16 year old protagonist was so painfully stupid that even the most romantic actual 16 year old would tell her to get a reality check.)

[poxmoxshots]

This happened a couple of years ago, back when I was around 13 I think. There was a boy I was really good friends with, whom I'd chat with daily and laugh a lot together, and it was awesome. Some of my friends insisted that he had a crush on me, which I kept denying because why would I ruin a friendship like that it'd be so awkward. And then this happened...

boy: Hey, uh... can I tell you something?

me: *has a bad feeling, like wow ominous* Yeah sure!

boy: So I, um... really like you. And I have a crush on you.

(I instantly freaked out internally, like erm!!!?? Is this real? What do I do?! Is this really happening?!?)

me: Um, I, er, think you're a really nice person but I don't like you that way... Actually, I've never liked anyone that way!!!

boy: Oh, that's... it's okay!

(He told me later that he kinda figured that was the case anyway -- maybe romantic disinterest can be pretty blatant? :P )

me: It's nothing against you, I swear, I've just really never like-liked anyone before! Nobody.

boy: Yeah, okay haha.

Yeah, my child self was very firmly in the aro zone... ^_^ Another aro thing was that I hated romance books when I was younger (I don't think I started reading romance till I was 14). I loved reading - fantasy, mystery, supernatural and all - but I hated romance. Or if a book I really enjoyed had romance, I just glossed over it; the romantic parts didn't really register with me. I couldn't understand romance, it was awkward and embarrassing and boring to me then, but I love some romance subplots and fanfiction now hahah :lol:

[Casimir]

Just remembered something from years ago. This is the memory that tells me I have been aromantic for years, even though I only discovered that about a year ago.

So I went over to my friend Mikayla's house all the time for sleepovers. Every time the topic of crushes came up (we were prepubescent girls, no surprise there). I remember that up I was about 12-ish, I did have crushes. I'd deny it and flush and stutter and they'd know it wasn't true. (Though now I wonder they really were crushes, it was so long ago and it's not like I knew what a squish was back then.) But one this occasion it was different. We were sitting on her trampoline, under the stars, and talking about their crushes. Eventually they turn to me and ask who I had a crush on. For the first time I could say no one and be completely honest. No blush. No stutter. They thought I was lying, but no matter how many times they asked, or when they asked, I'd always have the same answer.

Really makes me wonder if I somehow turned aromantic or if I've always been this way and just didn't realize.

[Casimir]

So, I wouldn't call this an aro moment, more like a facet of my aromanticism?

I am 100% completely and utterly blind to flirting. It's so bad that I literally can't recall having ever seen flirting even though I'm in high school and I know it's happened around me.

PS. My mom has informed my that I accidentally/unconsciously flirt with people?! What does that mean?! I'm just nice?!