Distance relationships?

[littleheartsofjoy]

In my time on AVEN, I noticed that a lot of people have said that if you wish to date a fellow ace or someone else on the spectrum, it's more than likely to be long distance.

Keeping that information in mind, I'm talking romantic like relationships. Are you open to long distance relationships or do you prefer local ones or you're indifferent? Have you been in a long distance relationship and are you currently in one? If yes to the first question, are/were you open to meeting them in-person? Would one of you be open to moving to where the other is at, someday or do you prefer to continue to live apart or are you indifferent to that idea altogether?

I see bits and pieces of related responses to my questions around the forums, but I'll prefer to see how they all play out in one poll.

[knout]

Nice poll, I think there are some cases were meeting is impossible and that's another option :)

[littleheartsofjoy]

Nice poll, I think there are some cases were meeting is impossible and that's another option :)

Thank you, and also thank you for making that point! That was kind of why I did the whole "neither options/choices fit my answer" thing, to try to catch that. I know it's impossible to list all of the reasons why that might be the case, so it's easier to have that there as a choice.

[TheBioNerd]

In my time on AVEN, I noticed that a lot of people have said that if you wish to date a fellow ace or someone else on the spectrum, it's more than likely to be long distance.

Keeping that information in mind, I'm talking romantic like relationships. Are you open to long distance relationships or do you prefer local ones or you're indifferent? Have you been in a long distance relationship and are you currently in one? If yes to the first question, are/were you open to meeting them in-person? Would one of you be open to moving to where the other is at, someday or do you prefer to continue to live apart or are you indifferent to that idea altogether?

I see bits and pieces of related responses to my questions around the forums, but I'll prefer to see how they all play out in one poll.

Hey there :). I don't know if you remember, but a couple days ago, you posted on one of my threads about relationships and said you were in a relationship with another AVENite. Just out of curiosity (and if you don't mind my asking, of course), is that long distance? If so, how would you answer this poll? (Again, excuse me if I'm being too nosy here).

[iamphoenixfire]

In a long distance relationship right now. i love it, really. being closer would be more ideal, but im fine with the distance. but god would i love to go up someday and see him and id be willing to move closer

[littleheartsofjoy]

In my time on AVEN, I noticed that a lot of people have said that if you wish to date a fellow ace or someone else on the spectrum, it's more than likely to be long distance.

Keeping that information in mind, I'm talking romantic like relationships. Are you open to long distance relationships or do you prefer local ones or you're indifferent? Have you been in a long distance relationship and are you currently in one? If yes to the first question, are/were you open to meeting them in-person? Would one of you be open to moving to where the other is at, someday or do you prefer to continue to live apart or are you indifferent to that idea altogether?

I see bits and pieces of related responses to my questions around the forums, but I'll prefer to see how they all play out in one poll.

Hey there :). I don't know if you remember, but a couple days ago, you posted on one of my threads about relationships and said you were in a relationship with another AVENite. Just out of curiosity (and if you don't mind my asking, of course), is that long distance? If so, how would you answer this poll? (Again, excuse me if I'm being too nosy here).

I remember!

I don't mind, and neither would he, I think. In our case, it is long distance. How I would answer my own poll is really how iamphoenixfire answered.

iamphoenixfire read my mind :P My answers are the same as theirs.

[Guest]

Hi there! *waves*

I am currently in a distance relationship with a wonderful ace (I have only had one other relationship, which was local, with a hypersexual <_< ) and all I can say is, honestly, I am loving long distance and loving A-sexy awesomeness!!

Being able to learn eeeeeeeevrything about a partners mind, BEFORE getting to know them physically, is proving to be seriously awesome haha. By the time we meet and are able to be physically/romantically A-intimate, we will already know each others minds inside out and back to front, which is, obviously, rather different to most 'regular' romantic partnerships.

We are no real hurry to meet.. We are both rather socially awkward, and, rather terrified of.. well, society, and leaving the house in general heh.. but hey, cyber snuggles are seriously A-mazing, hehe, and the emotional/mental bond we have is enough to sustain us both completely for now ..Our plans for the future are to eventually meet, marry if all goes well (for the legal benefits, we are not 'wedding people' haha) and live together, hopefully forever, heh. Neither of us are keen on the idea of short-term, non-serious relationships, which we made clear to each other before deciding we were perfect for each other, hehe

anyway... YAY FOR DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS AND YAY FOR AVEN!!

. . . . . . . . . .

......SO MUCH CAKE FOR EVERYONE!!!! *omnonom*

[TheBioNerd]

In my time on AVEN, I noticed that a lot of people have said that if you wish to date a fellow ace or someone else on the spectrum, it's more than likely to be long distance.

Keeping that information in mind, I'm talking romantic like relationships. Are you open to long distance relationships or do you prefer local ones or you're indifferent? Have you been in a long distance relationship and are you currently in one? If yes to the first question, are/were you open to meeting them in-person? Would one of you be open to moving to where the other is at, someday or do you prefer to continue to live apart or are you indifferent to that idea altogether?

I see bits and pieces of related responses to my questions around the forums, but I'll prefer to see how they all play out in one poll.

Hey there :). I don't know if you remember, but a couple days ago, you posted on one of my threads about relationships and said you were in a relationship with another AVENite. Just out of curiosity (and if you don't mind my asking, of course), is that long distance? If so, how would you answer this poll? (Again, excuse me if I'm being too nosy here).

I remember!

I don't mind, and neither would he, I think. In our case, it is long distance. How I would answer my own poll is really how iamphoenixfire answered.

iamphoenixfire read my mind :P My answers are the same as theirs.

Thanks for sharing! I'm a little wary of getting into a long distance relationship just because I'm so cuddly and touchy-feely, but I would totally be open to it if the opportunity presented itself :).

[Notte stellata]

1. I'm open to both long distance and local ones, I don't have a preference. I used to prefer local relationships, but as my relationship views became more and more unconventional and flexible, I hardly have a preference anymore. LDRs can perfectly meet my most important relationship need: intellectual and emotional connection. I also like the way LDRs start, because getting to know people online feels more natural to me. I prefer to have at least one local relationship to fulfill my need for physical intimacy, but I value both local relationships and LDRs equally and will happily enter any relationship as long as there's a genuine connection. Distance doesn't matter.

2. Yes. I've never had a relationship that didn't start long distance. My husband and I was in an LDR for almost one year before moving in together. Now I also have a long-distance romantic friendship and a long-distance non-romantic relationship.

3. Yes, I would like to OR Yes, I already have. The first part applies to my current long-distance SOs, and the second part applies to my husband.

4. Neither of the above choices fit my answer. This one is interesting, because my idea has changed a lot since my relationship style shifted from monogamy to polyamory. When I was in an LDR with my husband, we were still monogamous and hoping to "be together" in a traditional sense very much. But now that I'm poly and RA, I don't need any one relationship to fulfill my every need, nor do I have a clear "relationship goal" (e.g. living together) anymore. Plus, my long-distance SOs and I are all very independent and happy enough to share our thoughts and feelings through online communication. Moving closer would be ideal, but I doubt we'd move just for each other, because we don't need a "shared future together" to maintain our relationship. But if we had the opportunity to move closer because of job or school, I believe we'd gladly do it. :)

[Guest]

I can't answer the poll because the definition of "long distance relationships" is unclear to me.

I have been in a long distance relationship meaning that my partner and I lived relatively far apart (just short of 200 miles), and we did meet online, BUT I was only open to actually getting together with them after we met up in real life for the first time. I didn't mind not seeing them very often, but sharing time closer together *is* important to me.

So, in short, it's a yes if we can meet up on a regular basis (doesn't have to be very often, my ex and I saw each other about once a month and on the holidays). If we can't, or can't yet, it's a no. There's an element of trust in the person that I can only build up when I see them in meatspace.

[Philip027]

My (few) relationships have all been long-distance, so yeah, obviously it's something I'm cool with >_>

I think I actually am more comfortable with long-distanced relationships, because there is (by necessity) less emphasis on the physical aspects of the relationship, which I don't really get anything out of. I mean, things like hugs and snuggles would be nice, but to me they aren't a critical relationship component.

Hey there :). I don't know if you remember, but a couple days ago, you posted on one of my threads about relationships and said you were in a relationship with another AVENite. Just out of curiosity (and if you don't mind my asking, of course), is that long distance? If so, how would you answer this poll? (Again, excuse me if I'm being too nosy here).

It is pretty long distance, yeah. >_> *points at location to the left*

There's only been one instance in the past where I was able to meet up with a relationship partner face-to-face, and that experience taught me that while I can still be a little touchy-feely, as you put it, again it isn't something that's important for me to have. The core of the relationship still lies in its emotional/mental aspects for me.

[littleheartsofjoy]

I can't answer the poll because the definition of "long distance relationships" is unclear to me.

I have been in a long distance relationship meaning that my partner and I lived relatively far apart (just short of 200 miles), and we did meet online, BUT I was only open to actually getting together with them after we met up in real life for the first time. I didn't mind not seeing them very often, but sharing time closer together *is* important to me.

So, in short, it's a yes if we can meet up on a regular basis (doesn't have to be very often, my ex and I saw each other about once a month and on the holidays). If we can't, or can't yet, it's a no. There's an element of trust in the person that I can only build up when I see them in meatspace.

I'm sorry that it wasn't clear. I should have said that long distance can be any distance that applies to you. For some people who live in the same large city, long distance can be living on opposite sides of the same city even.

[Melody.ExE]

I'm in a long distance relationship right now, and have been for the past 3 years. I have nothing to compare it to, because it's the only relationship I've ever been in ^^;

I like talking and laughing with people more than anything else, and since we can talk on Skype every day, the location isn't a huge problem for me. That being said, we do see each other monthly (Thank you, RyanAir, for your cheap flights), and I would like to live together eventually, just because it means we can share more experiences together.

I think for some people distance works, and for others it doesn't. To each their own and all that ^_^

[luxurieux]

I've been in a non-serious long-distance relationship before, and I quite enjoyed it. Although, this was before I had a cellphone so life sometimes got in the way of communication which was frustrating. We stayed in touch and I did meet this guy several years after our "relationship" ended. It was quite an enjoyable experience, and I wish we still talked as frequently as we used to. I do miss him.

But I've also been on the verge of having a local relationship several times, and I felt smothered by it. So I never actually took the final leap and accepted their advances.

So I'd say I'm one of the few who prefers long distance relationships to local relationships. I dunno if I'm more asexual than I thought I was, but I prefer to develop emotional intimacy without pressure of physicality (even non-sexual physicality).

I would like to think I'd move for them, if it was serious enough and we'd met enough times to be sure of the decision. I want to move out of this state once I'm through with college anyway.

[Spotastic]

I've been in two long-distance relationships. The first ended as soon as I went to meet her because, as she put it, "it's not the same as the internet"... With that reasoning, I'm kinda glad it didn't work out.

The second is now my wife. ^_^ It started when I was in the military and when I got out I moved to Texas to be with her and we were soon married.

[Pikanyaa]

I'm currently in a relationship with someone long-distance, but only because I'm in school and he's back at home. We plan on moving in together next semester though.

[damondear]

I've never been in any kind of romantic relationship before, but with friendships and such I tend to be happier when I can actually physically be with the person. I'm open to the idea of a long-distance relationship - I have at least one great friend who I've never met in person, and I've seen long-distance relationships work out wonderfully - but if it was a serious relationship I'd want to eventually live with them!

For the last question in the poll - I'd want them to move to where I am, but I wouldn't want to move to where they are. I hate the idea of moving far from where I live; I'm not even crazy about going too far for a vacation... so I guess for me a requirement for a serious long-distance relationship would be for my partner to be able to eventually move somewhere close to me!

[Guest]

I'm currently not open to any relationship, local or long distance equally.

[Braydin]

As an aromantic I am not open for a relationship in general, but, in terms of friendship I prefer local. Although some of my friendships are entirely online, I have a greater preference to being able to do tangible activities like having food together, going places with each other etc rather than digital activities. Although I am close to my online friends and have great conversations with them, the distance is restrictive and limiting, as such is less than ideal.

[ShogunV2]

Long distance or local is fine for me. Doesn't matter or change how I would feel about that person. But I think it is best to meet that person BEFORE engaging in a serious relationship. This way both parties can be sure that is indeed what they want. You just can't simulate being in someone's presence physically via text, voice or video. If you meet and that connection you felt to her/him is still there in person then go for it. That's how I feel.

The distance between our shores is but a drop in the ocean when measured to the closeness of our hearts.

Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese.

[Lady Girl]

^^^ You made me laugh.

[TheStarrySkai]

I've never been in a relationship, much less a long distance relationship, but I don't think I would mind being in one [a long distance relationship that is]. Since I love hugging and cuddling I would prefer local relationships though. As for meeting them in person.... after a while of knowing them and if one of us is going to be near the other person for some time [like visiting the area] sure. I wouldn't mind me or the other person moving to their/my location. That would be pretty hard/most likely impossible right now though since i'm 16....

[moonmagegrl]

I've been in long distance relationships before, but they ended before we could meet in person. I don't have a problem with long distance relationships as long as the distance isn't permanent.

[AceTiff12]

I've been in long distance relationships before, but they ended before we could meet in person. I don't have a problem with long distance relationships as long as the distance isn't permanent.

^All this applies to me too.

[Synchrèse]

I'm quite indifferent towards either distance or local relationships - it makes no difference to me.

I picked 'yes' in the second question but it's not a romantic relationship. We share similar interests and sense of humour, we enjoy talking from time to time and I value his a lot, but we've never met (we live almost literally on two opposite edges of the world) and probably we will never meet (and we both seem to be okay with that).

[Guest]

So with 55 votes in, I'm still all alone with "no, I'd rather not" in the third question?

*sigh* I didn't realize I was that weird... thought there might at least be one or two other AVENites in this particular minority.

[Skycaptain]

I've never had a relationship, but I think I may be able to move. Until I've actually experienced what a relationship feels like I cannot truly answer the hypothetical, however.

[The Wreyck]

I in general used to think that not only was I open to long distance relationships but that I also preferred them. But that was the aro in me speaking. I do prefer my friendships and QPR long distance or at least am mostly indifferent. Having experienced a romantic relationship finally, and having it be long distance, I find that though I'm open to it, it really is frustrating and unpreferable.

[Kitty Spoon Train]

Open to both; Yes; Yes; No strong preference.

This is actually quite hard to answer when coming from a very flexible relationship anarchist point of view. :lol:

Relationships are largely about intellectual and emotional connection to me, so they can be very fulfilling even entirely over a distance. But then again, I'm also quite the cuddle slut, so I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to connect IRL too - at least now and again - with basically anyone with whom I develop that certain level of intimacy.

[MadRat]

I´m not open to long distance relationship. It´s not even a relationship for me, it´s just casual chat with someone who lives very far away.

I was manipulated the worst way everytime when I tried online dating. It gives so huge space for lies it scares me. If I can´t be with someone multiple times a week and REALLY get to know them in various situations, how the Hell could I even consider moving to them? It could end up very badly.