Questions for gray-a's?

[jaquenata]

I've really been struggling with my sexuality in the past few weeks. I started identifying as ace a few months ago, but now I'm not so sure. I think that someday I could enjoy a sexual relationship, but those thoughts come and go. A lot of the time I really, really don't see myself as ever having that physicality in a relationship, but then other times I think that I could enjoy it. So I think I might be gray/grey.

What's it like being gray/grey?

[argar]

For me personally it means that I am open to the possibility of being in a relationship, but not really counting on it. Right now in my life I am not interested in having children or getting married. I can sort of see the possibility of being physical with someone, but it would be more out a sense of love, than a need for sex. I am not sexually attracted to women, but I do have romantic feeling towards them. Speaking just for myself I have a hard time picturing a woman that would want to be with some one who doesn't really want the three thing I mentioned previously.

That's most of my grayness in a nutshell.

[_miacat]

For me, it's pretty much the exact same way your feeling. I've learned to accept the coming and going constant changing thoughts. If it's the way my head is screwed on and my mind just happens to fluctuate in that way, then why not just try to embrace it. Some day's I'm feeling way more open and vulnerable to the thought of having a relationship with someone, and it doesn't all seem so hard. Other days I'm feeling more skeptical and anxious about relationships/etc. All I can do is keep on keeping on and hope that maybe I'll meet someone that'll just blow my socks off and give me a reason to pursue a relationship with them. At the end of the day, try not to sweat it too much. I know it can be annoying feeling confused, but know that your sexuality shouldn't consume your thoughts, it's not worth beating yourself up over. Take everything with a grain of salt.

[mari]

My experience with the relationships that i had is; when them began i like some sex but my interest goes decresing until 0.

[paperwishes]

I feel the same. I think I could have a relationship without sex, but if it came to that I could do it with it as well. So that's why I stick to demi or gray.

[Heart]

This thread has been moved from Asexual Q&A to The Grey Area.

Heart

Asexual Q&A Moderator

[Rare Aztec Whstling Chickn]

Until recently, my wanting to be in a relationship was next to nil. People trying to tell me I should do it, while not understanding and not listening to that fact just seemed to make me more resentful of being in one. Needless to say, my greyness lays within my small, fluctuating attraction levels. It can go for a bit of a push and pull while on a merry go round.

[LadyL]

Tricky...because sexual interest/attraction isn't a given; it fluctuates. It is confusing for all parties involved and frustrating... Unless you've figured it out with someone/people that is/are patient and understanding.

[MadRobin]

I identify as grey because I just have an extremely low sex drive and very rarely experience sexual attraction or pleasure. It happens enough to remind me it's there, but I don't think about it very often and when I do it's always in conjunction with someone I have a strong emotional connection to.

I'd be perfectly okay with having a romantic relationship where the extent of physical contact was cuddling and kissing, but if there's strong interest on my partner's part in more sexual stuff and I'm sufficiently attracted to them emotionally, more sexual stuff is all right, not so much for my own sexual pleasure than being one more way I can be close to someone I care about and make them happy. Therefore, gray demi.