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Spirital-Emotional-Bodily age


Alma gest

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I was chatting with an other member, which also felt her SEB age (Spirital-Emotional-Bodily age), is different than her formal age. I decided to put my SEB age in my profile, instand of my formal, but she told me "I don't want to lie". I don't want to lie, either. There is no place in my profile to clarify is it the age I feel I am. So, I'm wondering:

In AVEN we are free to say the sexuality we feel, instand of the sexuality society thinks we should have.

We are free to say the gender we feel, instand of the sex society corresponds το us.

Why we are not free to say the age we feel we have (not the age we'd like to have), instand of the age society corresponds to us?

Edit:

SEB age, is the averange age, that comes from how we feel everything that age affects, from the following categories:

  1. Spirital (age affects: maturness, sharpness of thought, wisdom, fantasy ect.)
  2. Emotional (age affects: vividness, enthusiasm, innocence, toughness ect.)
  3. Bodily (age affects: health, appearance, energy, agility ect.)

I'd like to please you, to read all of the things I said below before you reply to me, because as this conversation has gone, it's very possible to say something I have already replyed to.

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Null_and_Void

I'll tackle those one at a time.

Sexuality: Because society doesn't know us. Who cares how they think we should be? I do disagree, however, with this idea that we should be free to call ourselves any sexuality so long as we wish to identify as it. For instance, I am sexually attracted to my girlfriend. I shouldn't be allowed to identify as asexual. That is just moronic.

Gender: Sex and gender are not the same thing. Gender is mental, and yet again, only we know what is in our minds. Yet again, if you have male parts and identify as female, you shouldn't be going around calling yourself biologically female. That's just a lie.

Age: Because age is a recorded number of how long you have been alive. Sure, call yourself mentally mature, but slapping a number on it is just silly, as any intelligent person already knows that age and maturity are not the same thing.

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Janus the Fox

I don't know... Saying that you are younger sounds rather deceptive to me really... Regardless of actual age.

Easily I could describe myself as younger in the mind, if I did put an age say... 15 I could be viewed rather differently and not an image that will not do well in my or anyone's favour.

It likely that perhaps many do that already across any Internet platform, it's something that also feels creepy to me as well...

There isn't a 'societal age' to me, it's just a number that corresponds to birth to the present.

Often the younger could feel beyond their age, but it still feels deceptive to lie about a real age... Everyone should be treated in the same way, regardless of age, race, orientations, political or religious views. But that's just me really...

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Sexuality: Because society doesn't know us. Who cares how they think we should be? I do disagree, however, with this idea that we should be free to call ourselves any sexuality so long as we wish to identify as it. For instance, I am sexually attracted to my girlfriend. I shouldn't be allowed to identify as asexual. That is just moronic.

I thought I was clear, saying that I mean we should say what we FEEL we are and NOT what we WISH/LIKE to be.

Gender: Sex and gender are not the same thing. Gender is mental, and yet again, only we know what is in our minds. Yet again, if you have male parts and identify as female, you shouldn't be going around calling yourself biologically female. That's just a lie.

Age: Because age is a recorded number of how long you have been alive. Sure, call yourself mentally mature, but slapping a number on it is just silly, as any intelligent person already knows that age and maturity are not the same thing.

All I'm saying is, AVEN pays attention not to who our biological organs are made to have sex with, but to our asexuality.

Not to our sex, but to our gender.

Why to our age and not to our spirital-emotional-bodily age, then?

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Null_and_Void

Sexuality: Because society doesn't know us. Who cares how they think we should be? I do disagree, however, with this idea that we should be free to call ourselves any sexuality so long as we wish to identify as it. For instance, I am sexually attracted to my girlfriend. I shouldn't be allowed to identify as asexual. That is just moronic.

I thought I was clear, saying that I mean we should say what we FEEL we are and NOT what we WISH/LIKE to be.

Gender: Sex and gender are not the same thing. Gender is mental, and yet again, only we know what is in our minds. Yet again, if you have male parts and identify as female, you shouldn't be going around calling yourself biologically female. That's just a lie.

Age: Because age is a recorded number of how long you have been alive. Sure, call yourself mentally mature, but slapping a number on it is just silly, as any intelligent person already knows that age and maturity are not the same thing.

All I'm saying is, AVEN pays attention not to who our biological organs are made to have sex with, but to our asexuality.

Not to our sex, but to our gender.

Why to our age and not to our spirital-emotional-bodily age, then?

As I already said, age is the recorded time in which we have been alive. Feel free to say you're mature (or even immature, I suppose) for your age, but why put a number on it? That seems utterly silly. Gender and sex are in fact different things, much in the same way that age and maturity are different. Don't list how old you feel, but feel free to state how mature you feel.

Your sex is static unless changed by surgery and your age changes at a constant rate. Gender and maturity, however, is entirely dependent on your mind, and is subject to change at non-constant rates.

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I'm 25 and I used to think my mental age was higher than it was.

Now I know I was an idiot.

I can't say that's true for everyone, but mental age is hard to quantify, and physical age is really easy.

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In the assumption that one can put an age to maturity, it also assumes that all older people are mature; the higher you put your "age" ("I'm like a 35 year old"), the more "mature" you perceive yourself. This is erroneous, as people who are well in their 30s, 40s and beyond are still "immature" in many ways.

Given this premise, it's very impractical to do it. If you think about it, what makes someone mature? Signing a lease? Forming good relationships? Being risk-averse to stocks and investments? Knowing what they want in life, even if that means getting drunk and partying every other day?

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I don't know... Saying that you are younger sounds rather deceptive to me really... Regardless of actual age.

You are right; a lot of people would like to lie for their spirital-emotional-bodily age, for many reasons. But, what happens with the people who want to be honest with their spirital-emotional-bodily age? Why they will not be able to declaire it? There are a lot of homosexual, bisexual and asexual people, who would declaire heterosexual in the forum of their college. That doesn't mean choices shouldn't exist, does it?

Also, there are a lot of people who would judge wrong their spirital-emotional-bodily age, like there are people who judge wrong their sexuality and gender. But, why should this be a reason for such an option not to exist?

I can't say that's true for everyone, but mental age is hard to quantify, and physical age is really easy.

Sexuality and gender may be hard to define, too, for some people. They may be wrong, too.

As I already said, age is the recorded time in which we have been alive. Feel free to say you're mature (or even immature, I suppose) for your age, but why put a number on it?

Because, simply, some people may feel like they are expressing it better with numbers.

Gender and sex are in fact different things, much in the same way that age and maturity are different. Don't list how old you feel, but feel free to state how mature you feel.

Age, in society, doesn't show only matureness, but a lot of other things, like vividness, body state (wrinkles ect.) and many other things.

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I was chatting with an other member, which also felt her mental, emotional and bodily age different than her formal age. I decided to put my mental age in my profile, instand of my formal, but she told me "I don't want to lie". I don't want to lie, either. There is no place in my profile to clarify is it the age I feel I am. So, I'm wondering:

In AVEN we are free to say the sexuality we feel, instand of the sexuality society thinks we should have.

We are free to say the gender we feel, instand of the sex society corresponds το us.

Why we are not free to say the age we feel we have (not the age we'd like to have), instand of the age society corresponds to us?

.

No place in your profile? Your entire profile is a canvas to put whatever it is you want. Sexuality and gender are pretty relevant to a site dedicated to a sexual orientation. Age? Somewhere between hardly and not at all.
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In the assumption that one can put an age to maturity, it also assumes that all older people are mature; the higher you put your "age" ("I'm like a 35 year old"), the more "mature" you perceive yourself. This is erroneous, as people who are well in their 30s, 40s and beyond are still "immature" in many ways.

Given this premise, it's very impractical to do it. If you think about it, what makes someone mature? Signing a lease? Forming good relationships? Being risk-averse to stocks and investments? Knowing what they want in life, even if that means getting drunk and partying every other day?

I think different things for each person make him mature or imature. Like I said, age is not only about maturness, like gender is not only about clothing. It's subjective.

The thing here, is, who judges how mature, vivid, ect. you are, and finally, what is your overall spirital-emotional-bodily age? Do you have the freedom to judge/choose for yourself or someone else should come and tell you "No! You are not able to judge, I decide for you that you can't do it right." ?

No place in your profile? Your entire profile is a canvas to put whatever it is you want. Sexuality and gender are pretty relevant to a site dedicated to a sexual orientation. Age? Somewhere between hardly and not at all.

You're right. I think I'll put in my profile the spirital-emotional-bodily age I judge I have and write somewhere else that's not my formal age.

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Age generally refers to the physical age. When you're filling out forms and applications and such, they aren't exactly wanting to know how old you feel like you are (which is vague and subject to interpretation), but how many years it's been since your mommy popped you out (which is measured and quantifiable)

If you feel it's relevant to put your "mental age" somewhere (which I do believe is actually a thing, even if as I said it's a subjective thing) then I think it's up to you to specify that's what it is, and that it's not your physical age.

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I think different things for each person make him mature or imature. Like I said, age is not only about maturness, like gender is not only about clothing. It's subjective.

The thing here, is, who judges how mature, vivid, ect. you are, and finally, what is your overall spirital-emotional-bodily age? Do you have the freedom to judge/choose for yourself or someone else should come and tell you "No! You are not able to judge, I decide for you that you can't do it right." ?

I find the bolded sentence contradicts your OP. If age isn't about maturity, why put a number on it to begin with?

I think my only concern here is the use of subjectivity as a defence. While it's true that "being mature" can mean different things, that doesn't mean there isn't a common link, theme or thread among these examples. Throwing one's hands up in the air saying, "X is subjective" doesn't drive the discussion forward; it tends to stop it.

Rather than questioning "who judges" what, the question should be framed as how you want to be perceived and how well that comes across. The best example I can think of is when you want to improve yourself. You'll go in your social circle(s) and family and ask them to describe you. Some people might say you have X flaw, but the majority say you don't. If you get a majority, it probably means you don't or do have a certain characteristic. (Granted, some people think this method leads to contrived personalities/personas but, if you really believe people can change, it also means people can shape, create and become the person they want to be)

I personally think taking care of yourself, being accountable for one's actions and being mindful of others is part of it. That's why, to me, a 4yr old sharing his favourite toy with his sister is being mature; not drinking one's self into a stupor when one has to drive is also being mature; maintaining open and honest communication with people around you, whether it is a personal or professional relationship, is also being mature. These might be very different examples, but they all have these characteristics in common. Of course people don't always do these things 100% of the time but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for these things.

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I think different things for each person make him mature or imature. Like I said, age is not only about maturness, like gender is not only about clothing. It's subjective.

The thing here, is, who judges how mature, vivid, ect. you are, and finally, what is your overall spirital-emotional-bodily age? Do you have the freedom to judge/choose for yourself or someone else should come and tell you "No! You are not able to judge, I decide for you that you can't do it right." ?

I find the bolded sentence contradicts your OP. If age isn't about maturity, why put a number on it to begin with?

I think it'd help to actually read the whole sentence if you're going to quote and emphasize it.

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Waist of Thyme

Someone's brain can literally stop maturing at a certain age.

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AVEN is not forcing you to put your age (or anything else) in your profile. Some people don't.

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I feel about 25 or 26 mentally, while being 21 physically, but the thought of putting my mental age in my profile has never really crossed my mind. I'm more than happy to just go vanilla and put my birth date in it :P

That being said, if you want to put your mental age in your profile, you CAN do it. However, I think it's no different than putting your biological age in it, simply because the people who judge by other people's age will still judge you (only differently), and the people who don't won't do so later on, either.

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Your age is your age. It's not subjective. Mental age is a different thing and if you feel a different age then you can explain that in your profile. No need to use false information.

Also age doesn't specify anything mentally - just physically. I know some teenagers who are more mature or intelligent than some seniors. And I know some seniors who are more fun or open minded than some teenagers. Age is just how long since the day you were born. Ultimately people will judge you on the things you say. Not your biological age.

In my thirties, some days feel like I'm still 19 in my mind - some days not. I look much younger then I am. Sometimes my body feels closer to 40....none of this changes my actual age though.

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Spirital-Emotional-Bodily age (SEB age), I mean the age you FEEL you have (not that you want to have). Trying to became clearer (as Naosuu advised), I can define it as follows:

SEB age, is the averange age, that comes from how we feel everything that age affects, from the following categories:

  1. Spirital (age affects: maturness, sharpness of thought, wisdom, fantasy ect.)
  2. Emotional (age affects: vividness, enthusiasm, innocence, toughness ect.)
  3. Bodily (age affects: health, appearance, energy, agility ect.)

I can create an even more clear definition, if you ask me.

I'm disappointed from some answers, because I see people tell things for "SEB age" & "(formal) age", that if someone tell to them for "the sexuality your biological organs are most proper for" & "sexuality (that you feel you have)" or with "sex" & "gender", they'll not like them.

Would you like your profile to have "the sexuality your biological organs are most proper for", instead of "sexuality" and "sex" instead of "gender"? No? Why not? People who will judge you for such things, would judge you anyway. Or, you could explain whatever else you want, elsewhere.

With the above, I want to ask, is there a real reason you discriminate "(formal) age" from "the sexuality your biological organs are most proper for" and "sex"? Why you think you lie if you write your "SEB age", instead of your "(formal) age", while you don't think you lie if you write your "gender" instead of your "sex"? Is there a real reason, or it is just that this is a site for education about sexuality and gender, but not for age?

I'd like to please you, to read all of the above things I said before you reply to me, because as this conversation has gone, it's very possible to say something I have already replyed to.

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Thread moved from Site Comments to Off-A.

- sonofzeal, Site Comments moderator

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Spirital-Emotional-Bodily age (SEB age), I mean the age you FEEL you have (not that you want to have). Trying to became clearer (as Naosuu advised), I can define it as follows:

SEB age, is the averange age, that comes from how we feel everything that age affects, from the following categories:

  1. Spirital (age affects: maturness, sharpness of thought, wisdom, fantasy ect.)
  2. Emotional (age affects: vividness, enthusiasm, innocence, toughness ect.)
  3. Bodily (age affects: health, appearance, energy, agility ect.)

I can create an even more clear definition, if you ask me.

Can a moderator change the title of this topic, from "Mental age" to "SEB age"? Because, this age i meant, when I was writing it. I just didn't know how to say it.

I'm disappointed from some answers, because I see people tell things for "SEB age" & "(formal) age", that if someone tell to them for "the sexuality your biological organs are most proper for" & "sexuality (that you feel you have)" or with "sex" & "gender", they'll not like them.

Would you like your profile to have "the sexuality your biological organs are most proper for", instead of "sexuality" and "sex" instead of "gender"? No? Why not? People who will judge you for such things, would judge you anyway. Or, you could explain whatever else you want, elsewhere.

With the above, I want to ask, is there a real reason you discriminate "(formal) age" from "the sexuality your biological organs are most proper for" and "sex"? Why you think you lie if you write your "SEB age", instead of your "(formal) age", while you don't think you lie if you write your "gender" instead of your "sex"? Is there a real reason, or it is just that this is a site for education about sexuality and gender, but not for age?

I'd like to please you, to read all of the above things I said before you reply to me, because as this conversation has gone, it's very possible to say something I have already replyed to.

Sex refers to biological differences; chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. (FACT BUT CAN BE CHANGED)

Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine. (A FEELING)

Age the length of time that a person has lived or a thing has existed. ( FACT AND CAN'T BE CHANGED)

SEB age "is the average age, that comes from how we feel everything that age affects" from categories SEB (A FEELING)

Aven asked gender. And asked for your age. Not your SEB age. I'm not saying it doesn't exist or assuming your SEB is just the age you want to be. I don't think anyone is confused about what SEB age is. The question you asked is why not use your SEB age as the actual age in your profile. I'm simply saying - because its incorrect.

I appreciate the significance of SEB age and maybe if enough people want it to be recognized it could be added next to actual age in the profile.

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floraXorXfauna

I find this fascinating, I dont really have much to say, except that I think it should definitely be made an option! :)

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Age is an objective fact. Everyone alive has a day on which they were born and a measure of time that has passed since.

I just don't think maturity is something that can be pinned down. Sometimes I feel older, sometimes I feel younger, it depends on the situation. And when we grow older, we still carry that little kid we used to be around with us anyway, ask anyone. Defining myself by maturity would be like defining myself by mood - far too temporary and it can be limiting.

And anyway, what are the critera for measuring SEB age? What is a person with a SEB age of 35 like compared to someone with a SEB age of 34?

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Mental age ..... Well, I am forced to act older than I am at work because my childish ways just does not work in a business environment like the one I work in. This is one reason why I my alone time, I get to do and act however I wish. AVEN to me seems pretty age irrelevant, it's a forum to brings together those of us who identify on the asexuality spectrum.,

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AVEN is not forcing you to put your age (or anything else) in your profile. Some people don't.

this is part of the reason there are so many 1st january birthdays :)

if i recall from the full version of the forum, this mental age could be dealt with in the about me section. it is not wholly what the opening poster wants but a suggestion

i did an internet test 2 weeks ago that put my age at 47. i am 29.

i have difficulty from knowing ones age here. but then again, neither would i check their profile. it is not an issue for me what age a poster was.

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