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Age Differences in Relationships


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Alright... I am interested in hearing about your experiences with age differences in relationships. If it is love it is love. If there is a connection let it be. What do you all feel about age differences? Maybe some of us are older souls who connect with an older partner?

Thoughts...

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Are you asking about adults, or any ages in general?

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Kitty Spoon Train

Age is just a number.

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Personally, I wouldn't date anyone more than 7 years my senior. Sorry, but due to personal experiences, the thought of a big age gap freaks me out.

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The way I see it, having personally been in one of those relationships with a great age difference (I was 17, she was 33)...

For me, age isn't a factor in determining who I can love. However, it can be a factor in determining whether a relationship can work out. (It's important to note the difference between the two, and that relationship actually taught me that difference firsthand.)

A greater age difference increases the overall likelihood that the two people will just be in different stages of life, which can interfere with a relationship even if it doesn't necessarily prevent the two people from having love for each other. But if two people can still connect closely enough to form and maintain a relationship, it wouldn't matter to me one bit how different their ages were.

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sound_the_bugle

The way I see it, having personally been in one of those relationships with a great age difference (I was 17, she was 33)...

For me, age isn't a factor in determining who I can love. However, it can be a factor in determining whether a relationship can work out. (It's important to note the difference between the two, and that relationship actually taught me that difference firsthand.)

A greater age difference increases the overall likelihood that the two people will just be in different stages of life, which can interfere with a relationship even if it doesn't necessarily prevent the two people from having love for each other. But if two people can still connect closely enough to form and maintain a relationship, it wouldn't matter to me one bit how different their ages were.

That. Also, my boyfriend is seven years older, and though I had just turned eighteen when we met, we didn't start a relationship until about six months later, even though we talked consistently as friends during that time.

And one of my closest friends, who just turned nineteen, is in a relationship with a twenty-eight year old; they're quite happy.

It it works, it works, but it is necessary to note the age difference.

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The way I see it, having personally been in one of those relationships with a great age difference (I was 17, she was 33)...

For me, age isn't a factor in determining who I can love. However, it can be a factor in determining whether a relationship can work out. (It's important to note the difference between the two, and that relationship actually taught me that difference firsthand.)

A greater age difference increases the overall likelihood that the two people will just be in different stages of life, which can interfere with a relationship even if it doesn't necessarily prevent the two people from having love for each other. But if two people can still connect closely enough to form and maintain a relationship, it wouldn't matter to me one bit how different their ages were.

The different stages of life thing is interesting and there can be different views based on generational gaps. I've always dated older men. Usually by 7-10 years older. However my most recent relationship was that he was 54 and I am 32. This is a large gap that did present challenges. But the love was there nonetheless.

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TrekkieLady

I dated a guy 15 years older than me. The relationship didn't work out, but it had nothing to do with age difference. Not going to get into specifics about our epic failure on the forum, but if a few different factors hadn't been in play it might have worked. As long as both parties are legal, consenting adults (consenting in age and in mental and emotional maturity), then age is a simply number to be aware of.

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Feral_Sophisticate

I'm 43, she's 19, nearly 20. She's ace, I'm not.

Does it work for us? Absolutely. On all counts.

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I don't think it matters as long as all parties involved are 18+ (and of course it's all consensual).

I personally have been with someone who is roughly (give or take a couple/few years) twice my age (not a full on relationship though). We get along fantastically. We're pretty much on the same level mentally, even for being different ages.

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I don't think it matters as long as all parties involved are 18+ (and of course it's all consensual).

I personally have been with someone who is roughly (give or take a couple/few years) twice my age (not a full on relationship though). We get along fantastically. We're pretty much on the same level mentally, even for being different ages.

Thanks for your response & I agree!!

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asexynerdygal

I have a range..I'm almost 42, so I'd date from say 30-60 but that's not written in stone.. I may meet a really mature 22 year old or a really fun and comparable 70 year old .. I will never say never

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NualaCatrionaMarie

My own cousin has kind of a fairy tale story that involves an age difference. She was engaged to someone her own age who turned out to be a total jerk, but while she was unhappily figuring this out, she was working with this other guy, who she was barely friends with, who is twenty years older than her. One day there was an accident at work (their work is very exciting but I won't say what it is here for their anonymity), and he saved her life. It was all very romantic. They started dating soon after and now they're married with two beautiful little kids. They're not asexuals, but that's the kind of relationship I hope to have myself one day when I meet my a(or grey)sexual heteroromantic Prince Charming. :) I think age difference does not matter as much as life experience - mostly emotional/spiritual experience, because some young people have been through a lot without having to live a long time - and personality. It's not the ages, it's the people. I heard one girl who was dating a guy two years younger than her say she never thought she would date younger, but "He's not 'younger', he's him!" We're born in different cities, different families, different races and cultures, and also in different spots in time. But we're still us, and your soulmate is still your soulmate. That's what I think.

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HiddenDemons

Right now (me being 17, almost 18) I wouldn't date anyone over the age of 20 right now or under the age of 15/16 cause it gets a bit weird to me if I dated someone who was much younger or older. However, even as I got older, I'm maybe go 4 years older? I'm not a big fan of large age gaps for myself just out of preference however I don't mind for other people. I'd probably go 4 years older, 2 years younger (when I'm in my 20s).

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While I don't think age matters, something to consider is the older person is probably more set on their ways. I just left a relationship where there was a 12 year difference. I was 22 when we got in the relationship, and by the time I was 32 I had changed a lot. I had grown from life experiences and having three children. I would have expected my partner to grow along with us - but he did not.

That is more of a "him" type of thing than an age related thing - but it's something to consider an age difference in a relationship. He always assumed he knew best because he had lived longer. It was tedious.

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Well, aesthetic attraction isn't what would stop me from dating someone 20 years older. It's my desire to be with someone who I can perceive as being equal. Someone in a similar stage of their life that I can grow alongside with, connect with on a meaningful level, and doesn't make me feel like I'm being patronized. So while in theory I don't have any problem dating someone 20 years older, the reality is that it probably wouldn't work out.


They'd have to be much, much younger at heart. At the age of 44, they could've already lived a life and feel like they're done for the most part, whereas mine is only just beginning. I myself feel like I haven't really changed much since my teens. I believe the term for that is "Peter Pan syndrome," and it applies specifically to people from my generation.


That said, I've run into people online that were 10 years older and in roughly the same stage of their life as me, so who knows. In general though, I'd be looking to date either younger or no more than 6 years older. But I've also been single for half my life now, so what do I know, really.

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BohoBookworm

My first serious relationship was with someone ten years older. It helped that he was so mature and had gotten past the teen stage, which might have made my situation even more trying. I don't have a problem with age gaps, so long as it is between consenting adults, as you have said. I think too much emphasis is put on labeling people who are attracted to different age groups - "gold digger" usually if it's a younger woman dating an older guy and "cradle snatcher" if she's dating a younger one. If people are happy, leave them alone. Not bothering me as long as i don't have to see what they get up to lol :D

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Squirrel Combat

I actually prefer girls younger than me. I can be with someone closer to my age and maybe even a few months older but I have personally experienced the pitfalls to that (girl will want to be with older guy). So I don't really like being with chicks older than me under any circumstance.

Honestly, you don't get to chose someone's age. They will simply be as old or as young as they are. It's fate. However, I do personally have a limit on how young someone will be appealing to me. 20 years is my absolute limit. No younger.

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