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#1 celestialincendium

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Posted 01 April 2014 - 12:18 AM

I'm not sure how I'd classify myself as a romantic. I usually say aromatic or demiromantic and it's pretty fluid between those two, but I'm not sure where I would fall under the romance category. I have an extremely low romantic drive, but I enjoy romantic activities like going out to dinner and giving flowers and watching movies together on the couch, holding hands, et cetera, et cetera. However I think kissing is gross, it's just not for me. So would I still be considered a romantic, and if so what sort of romantic?


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#2 Burnt_Phoenix

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Posted 01 April 2014 - 12:49 AM

Well, kissing is more of a sensual act than a romantic one (At least, from how I imagine you view it), so it might just be that you are asensual. But, since no one uses sensual attraction in labels (because we already have PLENTY of labels), it is easy to see how you would lump kissing in with other romantic activities. But, your romantic attraction is largely dependent on what gender (if any) you romantically seek. I shouldn't have to go through the labels (bi, hetero, homo, a), but you get the point. Like sexual libido you can have a sort of 'romantic libido'. In a way, you can desire romance, without actually being romantically attracted to someone. But, I don't think I would use 'demiromantic' because that terminology would imply that you can only have romantic attraction to somebody you are already emotionally attracted to (just like everyone else). Your romantic label would be one that implies who you would want to be in a romantic relationship with, gender wise. If gender doesn't matter, you would be either aromantic or polyromantic (depending on which end of the spectrum you are at). For other genders, you would use the appropriate prefix (hetero-, homo-, auto-, bi-). Hope this helps!  :cake:  :cake:  :cake:  :cake:


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Then they were silent for a moment. And, for once in her life, Jaylie couldn't feel broken.


#3 theotherfey

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Posted 01 April 2014 - 02:26 AM

I'm kind of in the same boat. I think I'm biromantic, but there is a chance I could be aromantic. I'm not sure how to feel about kissing. A part of me thinks I wouldn't mind it, but the other part is grossed out. I mean, you're talking about sharing spit, and that's kind of disgusting.



#4 celestialincendium

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 02:58 PM

Well I used demi because I usually only want to do romantic things with my closest of friends or people I am comfortable around (and I'm uncomfortable around 99% of people). As for the other person, any & all I suppose. I like the brains not their body. On of my friends is cisgender & heterosexual, another is trans & on estrogen hormones and the other is a tomboy who is possibly demisexual (I think she's still figuring it out).

 

And agreed - like other people's mouths are dirty. It just grosses me out. But that's the only thing that could make me be considered aromantic? I mean, does the no-kissing rule really negate the rest of it?


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#5 Broken Lambda

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Posted 03 April 2014 - 01:40 AM

Well I used demi because I usually only want to do romantic things with my closest of friends or people I am comfortable around (and I'm uncomfortable around 99% of people). As for the other person, any & all I suppose. I like the brains not their body. On of my friends is cisgender & heterosexual, another is trans & on estrogen hormones and the other is a tomboy who is possibly demisexual (I think she's still figuring it out).

 

And agreed - like other people's mouths are dirty. It just grosses me out. But that's the only thing that could make me be considered aromantic? I mean, does the no-kissing rule really negate the rest of it?

 

Just another perspective to offer: romantic activities vary according to the individual.  What one person feels is romantic may be pure platonic for another.  For example, hugging and cuddling.  If those two can be romantic/platonic for some people then so can kissing.

 

It's a little thing that I often say around here -- "behaviour does not determine [romantic] orientation".  You are aromantic if you do not experience romantic attraction.  Only you can tell for sure, but how does one determine the absence of something?  That is a tough one for many people.


(begin (display "Theoretical Computer Scientist (in training).") (newline)

       (display "INTJ (100 84 84 100).")                         (newline)

       (display "AlGorithm.scm[WARN]:Will rant about theory.")   (newline))

 

I would rather do things that are theoretically interesting, rather than those which are practically infuriating.




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