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Finding a gender-neutral name?


Weltraum

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Certified Cake Decorator

I like Quinn, however, writing that isn't fun. Also i like the letter E. I have the weirdest requirements for a name. I have to like it, it pretty much has to start with an E, and it has to flow well when written. Also it can't have a different spelling for the male/female versions because i tried Erin, but as soon as people see how it's written (or they ask how i spell it) they peg me as female and the judging commences.

You have to take into account how it will be signed on official documents when changing your name, because unlike your previous one, you haven't had years to practice signing the new name.

So much stuff to take into consideration!! How do others do this?!

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Thanks for the posts and advice.

I think I have decided on two gender-neutral names (first and middle name) now.

The "resonance" is more like contentedness rather than a flash-bulb moment of "this is who I am", but I feel comfortable with these names, which is more than could be said of my legal name or other names I considered.

Since the initials are the same as the first gendered name I was planning on changing to, the signature is relatively the same.

Best of luck to others who are looking for or planning on changing to a gender-neutral name. :cake:

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TheAdrift

I'm still thinking about going to Starbucks and trying a name out, just to get a feel of it being used in real-time. I kind of want to wait until I can make my appearance more masculine before trying it, though.

That... is an AWESOME idea. Totally gonna try that sometime.

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MarvelFrozen

You have to take into account how it will be signed on official documents when changing your name, because unlike your previous one, you haven't had years to practice signing the new name.

Very important consideration. Especially considering the sheer amount of paperwork involved with, and shortly after, a legal name change.

That aspect was even more pronounced for me, as I changed all parts of my name, not just the first name, when I transitioned. Once I decided on a name, which took a good bit of time and experimentation with friendly allies, I ended up practicing signing the new name a good bit while I waited the required 90 days between filing and the court appearance.

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Has anyone here had any experience with choosing a gender-neutral name to go by/legally change to?

I've been looking at unisex sections of name meaning sites, and have a few possibilities, but have yet to find a name that really resonates with me...

(I had planned to change my name to a particular (gendered) name, before I learned about non-binary genders last year, but now I don't know...)

Does anyone have any tips or advice on choosing a gender-neutral name? I know it's a long process, I'd just appreciate a little advice.

Why does it have to be a long process? (assuming you mean choosing the name and not changing everything to that new name, which is straightforward in the UK)...

I think it depends on where you live as well. I was reading through posts and I can tell that some of the suggestions from the US would look at least a bit strange in the UK. Maybe the other way round as well... I don't know.

I'm not changing my name, but I'm lucky in the sense that my parents were 100% sure I was going to be the opposite sex and had chosen a name already which, when shortened, can be used for both... and, probably scrambling for a name when finding out they were wrong in guessing my sex, they still called me something else entirely! haha.

I'm still thinking about going to Starbucks and trying a name out, just to get a feel of it being used in real-time. I kind of want to wait until I can make my appearance more masculine before trying it, though.

You can call out from the back of the line "don't tell him, Pike!" ^_^

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http://www.babynames.com/Names/name-index.php

I use this site to find names for the characters in my stories. You can go to advanced options and filter for gender neutral names and even ethnicity. So if anyone is looking for gender neutral names, this is a great resource.

I personally have a female name and a male name I use interchangeably depending on how I'm feeling/the social situation.

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ObsessedWithCats

My nickname, Aaren, is gender neutral. Phoenix is also gender neutral if you want a weird name.

Sage is also gender neutral.

I really really like Aaren as a gender neutral name - Aaron has been one of my favourite names for years and years but it's generally considered quite decisively a boy's name. Aaren is the perfect solution to that.

Also it can't have a different spelling for the male/female versions because i tried Erin, but as soon as people see how it's written (or they ask how i spell it) they peg me as female and the judging commences.

Where I come from 'Erin' and 'Aaron' are pronounced very distinctly and considered to be completely separate names - you could never say 'Erin' in my accent and have anyone think you're talking about a guy.

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iamphoenixfire

Another good one, I think is Corey. I have a friend named corey who is mtf and she has always loved her name and she's happy that her parents named her a gender-neutral name.

Jayden is also a good name. I remember in school once there was a girl named Jayden and a guy named Jayden. They dated for 6 months. we were all hoping they would marry and have children all named Jayden.

Ryan is also a great gender-neutral name, too.

My name, Christi, is pretty feminine. but i like being feminine. i would never shorten it to Chris though because that was my dad's name and the world does not need a female version of him in this world. i also am estranged from him though so that wouldn't work. damn gendered names.

However, I love the name Aaren. but hey, Erin in Attack on Titan is a dude so you have justification there for that spelling if you want it to be gender neutral.

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kiaroskuro

I guess I can't complain about my first name, because of its being so outlandish ... I'm often mistaken for a 'sir' when I get official mail. That's cool, except that I really hate my name. I seriously considered changing it legally.

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However, I love the name Aaren. but hey, Erin in Attack on Titan is a dude so you have justification there for that spelling if you want it to be gender neutral.

I think it's spelt as "Eren" officially? That's a really nifty spelling! I like "Erin" very much, too, as a name.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like trying out "Ellis" as a name for myself. The only problem is that it has a religious root, and I'm atheist (well, agnostic at the very least)... And it might get confused for "Alice" to people who only hear it, especially since I present as female. Other alternatives I've thought about are Ellery and Hollis. (Yes, I love "ll" in names. ^_^)

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My name is Blake. I actually feel quite fortunate to already have a gender neutral because I am physically a female, who has the brain of both a male and female, looks like a female, dresses more feminine, hates my boobs and vagina, sometimes dresses like a guy, is tomboyish, wants to be a boy, but like my long hair and incredibly self conscious without makeup. I don't exactly know if there is a label for that but I'm trying to find one. Anyways I am quite happy that my name works for both a girl and boy because honestly I am both a girl and boy.

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Squirrel Combat

I've known boys and girls who had the name "Riley". So there's another one.

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  • 2 months later...
violetpaladin

I'm going through this dilemma currently. My birth name is pretty damn female, which bums me out. My possibilities for new names are Cas, Page, or Charlie. I also love the name Lucas for when I feel masculine, but I can't stick to it for life because sometimes I feel feminine... eh.

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I go by Adrian, or Adrienne, but its a guy name that next to no girls use so...

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Certified Cake Decorator

I think the best way to pick a name is to pick what letter you like the most, then search for names with that letter. It narrows it down a bit.

That's what i did. Then again, i started with E, and ended at Q...

Just make sure your new name is easy to write too! Because you will be writing it just as much as your old name, and if it is longer it might get annoying :)

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I use the online name Zash, and originally thought it was a masculine-sounding name, thought it did originate from a typo... I use it, or a variant thereof of masculine avatars online, and people use it for me in real life (mainly because in school there were 8 people in my class that had the same first name as me).

Then Star Wars The Old Republic happened and the Sith Lord Zash was a major character in the Sith Inquisitor story line:

Darth_Zash_young.png

Apparently Zash is not as masculine a name as I thought. And apparently is evil. As far as I know, I don't know any of the writers for the game. I don't mind or anything, it was just a surprise to me.

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I chose names that are gender neutral, but are more likely to be read as male if either binary gender. That way, as I see it, I'm less likely to be gendered as female. (Ugh, the dysphoria!) The name I use now is the surname of a famous writer. Here are some leftovers from my list if anyone wants to use them.

Clove

Sonnet

Rain/Raine

Zenith

Xan

Yardley

Landry

Avery

Harper

Dusty

Sailor

Onyx

Vesper

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  • 2 months later...

This thread is quite old, so I've locked it. The current discussion has been split off here.

Heart

Gender Discussions Moderator

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