Jump to content

Finding a gender-neutral name?


Weltraum

Recommended Posts

Has anyone here had any experience with choosing a gender-neutral name to go by/legally change to?

I've been looking at unisex sections of name meaning sites, and have a few possibilities, but have yet to find a name that really resonates with me...

(I had planned to change my name to a particular (gendered) name, before I learned about non-binary genders last year, but now I don't know...)

Does anyone have any tips or advice on choosing a gender-neutral name? I know it's a long process, I'd just appreciate a little advice.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ash is good. It fits for boys and girls or neither. Also, if you introduced yourself to me I would be like....

OH MY GOD!!! ARMY OF DARKNESS BE SO AMAZING! SHOP SMART! SHOP S-MART! THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK!

I would then just fall into a heap of fanboy bliss.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was in my late teens I chhanged my name to Kellam. I did so because my first name is one of the most common names for males my age and I wanted to be an artist and poet and needed a name that would stand out more. Kellam is just my second middle name and important to my Mom's family. It had the power of repping my mother while my last name could continue repping my father. The surprise bennefit was that folks could no longer guess my gender without seeing me. I suppose my advice would be to look at words that are not always thought of as first names. Gender neutrality is a touch outside the norm so look in such places. Think about what is important to you and not how you will be percieved.

Link to post
Share on other sites

"Taylor" is a good one.

Examples : Taylor Swift (female) and Taylor Hicks (male)

In case you don't remember who Taylor Hicks is, he won American Idol a few years back. I assume everyone know who Taylor Swift is.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Amoeba-Proteus

"Taylor" is a good one.

Examples : Taylor Swift (female) and Taylor Hicks (male)

In case you don't remember who Taylor Hicks is, he won American Idol a few years back. I assume everyone know who Taylor Swift is.

I was about to say, I'm not a fan of 'Taylor', but it's what I ended up with. Fortunately gender-neutral.

Edited this because I realized I probably shouldn't have posted that second part online. :ph34r:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte

There's a part of me that's decided that if I chose to go by a gender neutral name, then it would be the name that my father planned on naming me had I been born male (my parents' agreement was that my mom picked out the female names and my dad picked out male names, and my mom was determined to make our names as blatantly gendered as possible.) My dad wanted to name me Logan, and I've always been fond of the name actually. I just go by my assigned name for simplicity's sake.

My middle name is also bizarre in the sense that it is phonetically gender-neutral, but is gendered in its spelling, though I sometimes wonder how people would react if I went by my middle name since its kinda uncommon nowadays (the only person I know who goes by that name is my grandmother who I was named after via reversing her first and middle names.)

Edit: in terms of finding a name that sits right with you, I would just keep looking. This is definitely something that you should take your time with and see if any of the names resonate with you or start growing in you. I was pretty attached to the names Jordan, Sam, and Alex because they were the most common and balanced gender-neutral names that I encountered (I knew multiple people of 2 or more genders per name), but Logan really started to click with me over time, especially with the "this was almost my name" sentiments.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Batman's Ace

I've seen Robin, Taylor, Avery, Christian, Jess, and even Wyatt used by both sides of the binary. Or you could choose something that's not a traditional name so much, like a word in a foreign language that means something you like (be very careful researching the meaning, please), or an English word that has special meaning to you. Y'know, like the celebrities notoriously do when naming their kids, only in your case it would be your choice instead of your parents'.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Peyton, Alex, Sam, DJ/Deejay, and Hunter are some of the neutral names I found in my FB friends list. Although Hunter seem more masculine, I have a female friend who has that name so I included it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Jody is unisex as is Blair, Brook (as in male singer Brook Benton), Courtney (male jazz musician Courtney Pine. My personal favourite unisex name is Leslie. Then there's Lee, Terry and Ellis (which is used occasionally for females).

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Musette's "Edit". Finding a name is very personal, I feel. It's all very well and good to find lists of unisex or gender-neutral names and maybe you will find something in one of those that resonates. Maybe think of things that would be important to you in a name - like the ethnic source, or country/culture of origin, or the literal meaning, or the sound, or personal or family history or associations with certain names, or whatever combination of factors matter to you. There are tons of names. The trick is narrowing them down. And, of course, as others have said, it doesn't necessarily have to be a traditional name; could be a word or even an invented name. (although, I understand some countries restrict names)

Good luck in your name quest! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I've been thinking of changing my name with a unisex/ neutral one for a while and I started writing a list of gender neutral names I found on the net on books etc. However It has taken a lot of time to select the name I liked the most. Then I also asked friends for opinions and suggestions and it's been really helpful. Anyway, you should pick out a name you feel very comfortable with, whatever the name is.

Link to post
Share on other sites
LeaveOnYourColours

I like Terry, Leslie, Arin, and Elliott. My birth name is Jordan, but I've since middle school shortened it to Jo. Both are pretty gender neutral names.

I identify with Jo more than with Jordan simply because I feel it displays my personality better. I'm just a more androgynous female though. Born female and not really a tomboy, I use the female pronouns, but I don't particularly relate to, say, the girls in my theatre company who love make up, shopping and dresses.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you had a go at making an entirely new name?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am also in search of a gender-neutral name (or at least one close to neutrality in phonetics)! I personally like Avery, Ellis and Elliott. They all sound quite elegant, but don't lean too far towards one gender or the other.

Fining a new name can be quite difficult, but keep at it and don't settle for anything that doesn't sound right! Maybe try a few on for size -- when signing up for relatively unimportant stuff, maybe?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Internet Meme

I had never heard the name Cody be used for anyone but men until a few days ago. I think it makes a wonderful unisex name!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for the help and advice :)

I think I've found a good name now, just need to continue trying it out before I make a legal change... Does anyone know anywhere online that's helpful in testing a name?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know any specific places online to try out names (but that doesn't mean there aren't any). Maybe just whatever forums or other places (like chats?) where you might interact with people online? Offline I've heard of people testing their selected name by giving it as their name at places like coffee shops, where they ask for your name to call out when your order is ready.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've read that names have an age attached to them, because in different decades different names are in fashion. So having one that would have been given to either gender around the time you were born might help make it even more unremarkable. Just something I remembered reading a while back, and not sure where you'd find a list of names through the decades.

Link to post
Share on other sites
TheNaughtyNeutrois

I was born female at birth and when I transitioned to male, I chose the name "Jason", now I am regretting choosing such a masculine name because I have come to the discovery that I identify as neutrois (or gender-neutral)! I realized I feel dysphoric when passing as a male or female! I never realized you could exist outside the binary and I am so thankful that it IS possible to do so!

I am thinking very seriously about legally changing my name (again!) to a more gender-neutral one but still wanted a hint of Jason, so I chose Jacey. It has been used for both girls and boys. I couldn't have been happier with my new name! :wub:

Try Googling unisex names - that's where I started ^_^ Best of luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been thinking of a name change. It would probably be a long way down the road, however. If I changed it at all. Family makes it difficult to do anything for yourself when you fear their judgement and ostracization.

Honestly though, it's been a pretty difficult task finding a name I resonate with. I thought (and I still kind of think) I really liked Kiean. But I'm leaning away from it just because it's one of those "weird spellings of a popular name" I sometimes scoff at. I've been trying to find something that is fairly unisex but still leans a little more towards the masculine side of things. Some names I've been thinking about are Elliot, Ezra, and West. I almost went with Cas when I first decided I wanted a more unisex name. I'm still kind of thinking about it. Anyway, they're all pretty masculine but sound soft enough to be feminine at the same time (in my opinion).

But yeah, I would just make sure that you test out whatever name you choose for a while before making any legal decisions. I'm still thinking about going to Starbucks and trying a name out, just to get a feel of it being used in real-time. I kind of want to wait until I can make my appearance more masculine before trying it, though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a town in Britain called Exley. This could work as a unisex name.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Has anyone here had any experience with choosing a gender-neutral name to go by/legally change to?

I've been looking at unisex sections of name meaning sites, and have a few possibilities, but have yet to find a name that really resonates with me...

(I had planned to change my name to a particular (gendered) name, before I learned about non-binary genders last year, but now I don't know...)

Does anyone have any tips or advice on choosing a gender-neutral name? I know it's a long process, I'd just appreciate a little advice.

Several points in response.

1) I have met people with such names as Ponytail, Chills, Chicago, Trout, Tallie, Dakota, Lee, Jamie, Terry, Xavier, and Big Bear. Furthermore, I once knew of a man who was called Skinny, because he weighed 400 pounds.

2) In reading the writings of Louis Sachar, I have encountered fictional characters with such names as Barf Bag, Twitch, X-Ray, Armpit, Magnet, Squid, Zigzag, Zero, Sweetfeet, Lump, Easy, El Genius, Burnt Toast, Cherry Lane, Murdock, and The Doofus.

3) In reading books about American Indians, I have encountered characters with such names as Little Turtle, Turkey Feather, and Corn Tassel.

4) Whether to use a traditional name or a non-traditional name (and whether to consider such a name to be gender-neutral) is ultimately up to the individual.

Link to post
Share on other sites
My legal name is Dimitri, but I've shortened it to Demi (just like Demetria "Demi" Lovato). It's almost exclusively used as a female name, but it sounds gender-neutral to me, so it's what I go with. It also plays well internationally due to its simplicity, which is important to me since I've been travelling a lot.


My username on here, Finley, is also considered a unisex name, but skewing more towards female in the States and male in the UK, I believe. I actually found out about that name by browsing a list of unisex names, and it really resonated with me.


I say just keep looking, and I'm sure you'll find something eventually. You could also look into getting a unisex name perceived as foreign where you live. You might find it strange to adopt a name from a language you have no real connection with, but plenty of parents will give their children foreign names. The Japanese language is particularly great for unisex names, I find.
Link to post
Share on other sites

YES! ME!!! I hate my birth name and tried a typically female name for over a year, but I've started going by Evan, even though I'm a genderless bio female. I have synesthesia and see letters and words as certain colors, so I decided to look for a name that is my favorite color (yellow/gold). My birth name is red and my previous chosen name is blue, 2 colors I hate, so they didn't fit.

I think you can make any name gender-neutral by using it. Names like Michael have become increasingly popular as gender-neutral in recent times, so I'd say just look for any name that you love and try it out for a while to see if it truly suits you. A name is name, who cares what society says about what gender is allowed to have it. =P

Link to post
Share on other sites
Swimfreak660

A friend of mine who is actually transgender changed his name to Angel, so it could go either way. Another good gender neutral name is Casey if you're still taking in ideas.

Link to post
Share on other sites

What's considered gender-neutral is very much determined by the people who surround you. There are names that are given to both boys and girls without anyone thinking it's weird, and two people who hear one of these names will often guess a different gender. Any of these names can be considered gender neutral, I guess. I'd make specific suggestions, but I don't know where are you from so it'll be a little hard for me to guess the right names.

A strange, uncommon name can also be gender neutral, as no one connected it to a gender yet. However, having an uncommon name can have it's own disadvantages.

Link to post
Share on other sites
carried in bags

Morgan & Charlie are nice names

Link to post
Share on other sites

Names in other languages is a good one, my birth name is female and Persian, but the nickname I go by is shortened version of my birth name with a slightly different spelling and it is Korean and generally masculine, however with a "y" it becomes feminine. I use it without the Y but since most people I know are not Korean or have extensive knowledge about Korean names, they assume that my name is neutral, it works with both, I use male spelling because it looks cooler (imo) but at the same time, if I wear a skirt, people assume the name is female.

I didn't change my birth name, because people only ever see it sending me formal letters or something, so most of my friends have forgotten my birthname and only know me by my nickname. Maybe you could take your current birth name and shorten it or use a nickname from it (Samantha or Samuel becomes Sam or Sammy (I have friends of both genders who are Sams), Jasmine or Jamie-Lynn can be Jay or Jamie, Keith becomes "Kae or Kay" and so on, David can be "Dee" Danielle can be "Dani" etc etc). Instead of changing your name legally (which can be time consuming and expensive) just go with a nickname, its easier to change, just start introducing yourself as your nickname, I've done it and everyone in college knows me by nickname and not by my actual birth name! If you get sick of a name or it doesnt fit, at least its not stuck on paper that way.

Link to post
Share on other sites
TheStarrySkai

My nickname, Aaren, is gender neutral. Phoenix is also gender neutral if you want a weird name.

Sage is also gender neutral.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...