Adogg Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 It would seem after a few months on the forums, the general consensus is that most aces don't want kids. Am I wrong in that assumption. I very much want kids and to me the ace part and wanting kids part have nothing to do with each other. I would go so far as to myself in repeated sexual situation to achieve this goal. What are others takes? Link to post Share on other sites
littleheartsofjoy Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Yeah a good amount of us do not want kids, but then there's also a decent number that want them, and would be willing to have sex for the sake of having kids. There's also aces who want kids, but would rather adopt or use other methods. There was a thread related to this, but I can't remember where it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Celestine Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I may want kids. I'm not sure yet. Some days I feel, "I'm never having kids, no way!" and other days I feel, "Actually, one or two would be really nice."If I did have kids, I would possibly go the "natural" method, possibly adopt an infant/child, and possibly even adopt an embryo so that I can still experience being pregnant. I really have no idea and at my age (21) I figure I've got another ten years to think it over. :-P I agree that being ace and wanting/not wanting kids are not really related. People of all orientations can crave kids, not be sure, or be adamantly opposed. If there is an unusually high number of no-kids-please people on this forum, I'd say it's either coincidence or correlated to age (younger people are probably not concerning themselves with that as much). Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Although there are differences between being Asexual and not wanting kids, there is a bit of overlap in the bingoes we get as Asexuals and the bingoes CF people (of all sexual orientations) get. Link to post Share on other sites
EdenRose Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 NEVER AGAIN. I actually want kids, but after being an au pair girl with 4 kids, I just don't want to have to raise them. Link to post Share on other sites
ChaosHead Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Don't worry there actually some of us that want kids. I want them that is something I will love to have and like you said with the natural method. The bf that I have now has two kids but we still want our own. Link to post Share on other sites
Sundance_ Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I want kids, one or two. Always have. I'll probably adopt. Link to post Share on other sites
L3105 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I actually really like kids, but don't want to go through the process of making one. I imagine if I ever do find someone to settle down with, seeing them uncomfortable for 9 months would be unbearable! That said, there are so many abandoned children in the world, it just makes sense to adopt. My plans are to adopt once I retire (or else find a job that requires little effort), so I can spend as much time with my kids as they need. Link to post Share on other sites
Carbon Monoxide Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I don't think that being asexual means not wanting kids, but either way, I'm not that keen on kids. For now. Link to post Share on other sites
JaySexual Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Kids are one thing in life I can say "Never" to. I don't believe I could ever be a father (plus I'd never want a kid to go through being any part of me) Oh and forsure I don't want the expense or responsibility that comes with kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I have messed up periods and a family history of fertility problems, so I probably can't have a kid anyway. But, I would want to adopt if I were going to raise a child. So, maybe one day. Not important to me. But, yeah of course people who are ace can want kids. Link to post Share on other sites
FiddleKid Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I do not want kids esp what you have to do to get them.. erghh Link to post Share on other sites
JGR Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I don't want kids. If that changes, there are always other options like sperm donors, surrogate mothers, adoption agencies, etc. Of course my mom is like, "You'll never get to have a child who reflects your looks/personality!" To which I'm like, "Why would I want a kid who was fucked up in the exactly the same ways that I am?" Anyway, it's too much trouble to find a guy, get knocked up, squeeze the baby out, etc. There are plenty of motherless children floating around in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowGalaxy Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I'm pretty undecided on kids, but that's far more to do with responsibility/independence issues rather than anything to do with my sexuality. I am terrified of pregnancy/dying in childbirth though. Which could be linked to my sexuality, or something else. Not really sure. I'd rather adopt. Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 The only way I'd be willing to have kids is to adopt, but even then, that's unlikely because of the expenses and the hurdles to being approved. Plus I'm concerned that parenthood would get in the way of my career. Wanting kids or not doesn't have to do with sexuality though. A large portion of the childfree community are heterosexual and married, and most of them knew from childhood that they didn't want to ever have kids. Link to post Share on other sites
luna.x Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Ughh, kids. I just don't know. I've always been unsure about that. I recently had to babysit my cousins little girl while she worked a double, so I had her all day. I feel like that day gave me a lot perspective. Honestly, she was being pretty sweet, didn't throw a single fit or anything, but eh... I don't know. I'm such an introverted person and I always need to have at least a few hours to myself or just become very ill. I don't know if I could handle having kids with my all day every day. I just don't understand how people do it and don't crazy. Like, I couldn't even use the restroom for more than 30 seconds before she was calling me and I just don't know. And I just really don't like kids in general. I think some of them are super cute, but I don't feel the need to reproduce because of it. And also, trying to raise children without causing them any emotional trauma like my parents have done to me and my siblings is something I'd always be so worried about. ugh. And the thought of childbirth scares the hell out of me. At the same time, I feel like if I looked back at my life and didn't have kids, I would feel very sad about that. I'm pretty undecided. Link to post Share on other sites
seneca Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I looked into adoption. Unfortunately,being a single male sent up red flags right away. I'm as summing they thought I was a pedophile. Link to post Share on other sites
Tommiboy13 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I like the idea of having kids, and would have a big family if I did start one, but I'm also sex-repulsed (mostly the idea of penetration. No no no no no no). And pregnancy scares me. Though if I find a life partner (official marriedness) I would want to have a family if they wanted to. I would definitely need the support though, to get through pregnancy. As well as post-pregnancy depression and other stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 If I was with someone who wanted them, I would be willing to have one. Given that my relationship prospects are dim, however.... Link to post Share on other sites
cavyX Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 A lot of aces on here want children and some of them actually do have kids. Personally I can't stand the idea of kids and pregnancy gives me an outright fear. I hate children and I can't imagine myself ever having them. Link to post Share on other sites
rh1985 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I have a biological daughter. I used IVF with my eggs and a sperm donor. I personally didn't mind pregnancy other than the throwing up - ugh. I am very happy to have her as I always really wanted to be a parent. Link to post Share on other sites
pnnn Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 if only I could find a man who could change diapers Link to post Share on other sites
muntjacc Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 i plan on fostering or adopting children in the future- there are plenty out there and there's no point in further populating the earth but having kids a valuable and (arguably) unmissable experience imo Link to post Share on other sites
Jockey Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I'm gonna adopt. Link to post Share on other sites
Whispearl Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 If I decide I want children, I would be persistent on adoption, more due to the pregnancy/birth part than the sex part to be honest. Right now I don't want them, but I'm open to that changing in the future. Also, if I do want children, I could never raise one on my own. I'd have to be in some sort of relationship/living situation that allows me to raise them with someone else helping me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Absolutely not. Aside from being grossed out by the production method (and severely doubting my genes would be valuable enough to be passed on into the next gen's gene pool), I don't want the massive responsibility on my hands, can't cope well emotionally with having folks around me physically except in small doses, and don't even have the financial means to support myself independently from long-term welfare. So, anything but remaining CF for life would be inacceptable. Link to post Share on other sites
MadRat Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I´m one of these asexuals who don´t want children. Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Might donate some eggs, but that's the furthest I'm willing to go in that regard. Plus, people who say that it's my 'duty' to pass on my genes have no ammo then (idiots). I would be an awful mother. Link to post Share on other sites
Lenasai Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I never want to have kids. They can be cute, but only when I don't have to take care of them. Crying babies are the worst to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Sixteen Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Don't want to have my own. Never. Might think it nice to adopt someday. But older kids. No babies. Link to post Share on other sites
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