Need opinions,thoughts or definition about Asexuality and other meanings in Aven.

[Whitedragon13]

Hello everyone! Whitedragon13 here!

So cutting trait to the cake I've been thinking of making a project to reflects or has mostly all the meanings or definitions of orientations and types like Aromantic Asexual (type-aromantic,oriantation- Asexual) something like that. It's kinda a personal project of mine that i want to do to help other understand more about themselves here and to new comers to find what the fit in more easily. what do you think? ^_^

I'm very happy about this and would really like the help of you on this,at least your thoughts of what you think the words mean. Please no flames...i get spoooked easily

I'm going to put some words here and you tell me what you think or are, some i already know and are easy but i still want you own words off definition. think you can help me? ^_^ You can add words related too.

Some words:

Asexual Gray-A Bicurious you can include others that are from Aven or heard about. see if

Aromantic Pansexual Hypersexual i missed something here too. Abbreviations can be included

Allosexual Androsexual Sexual too. Reference as well if you want.

Heterosexual Gynosexual Polyamory

Homosexual Androgenosexual Autosexuality

Bisexual Queer Trysexual

Demisexual Hetroflexible Polysexual

Nonsexual Homoflexible Antisexual

Meaning no disrespect

Whitedragon13

Cake anyone? :cake: :cake:

[Member54880]

Some of these terms are pretty tricky and have multiple meanings, or no consensus, so I added some footnotes to some of them.

Asexual: Lack of sexual attraction and/or desire for partnered sex (since 'sexual attraction' may not be well defined or relevant to some)
Aromantic: Lack of romantic attraction or lack of desire for romantic relationships?
Allosexual: People not on the asexual spectrum (not asexual, nor gray-A); same thing as 'Sexual'.
Heterosexual: Attraction only to other sexes or other genders?*
Homosexual: Attraction only to the same sex or same gender?*
Bisexual: Attraction to at least 2 gender identities/same and other genders**
Demisexual: Experiences sexual attraction only after a close emotional bond was formed first.
Nonsexual: No consensus on this anymore. See these two threads, for example: [1], [2]. Used to be interchangeable with asexual early in the history of the asexual community.
Gray-A: Umbrella term for people who experience little sexual attraction, and their experiences are more like those of asexuals than allosexuals. Demisexuals are a sub-group.
Pansexual: Attraction to all gender identities, or attraction regardless of gender.
Androsexual and Gynosexual: Attraction to men and women respectively
Androgenosexual: Attraction to both men and women.
Queer: May be a catch-all term for LGBTQ identities, but some identify as this to de-emphasize labels.
Heteroflexible and Homoflexible: Heterosexual individual who occasionally experiences same-sex/gender attraction, and homosexual individual who occasionally experiences other-sex/gender attraction. Might or might not consider themselves bisexual.
Bicurious: Umbrella term for Heteroflexible and Homoflexible
Hypersexual: Someone who experiences a very high degree of sexual attraction and/or libido.
Polyamory: 3 or more people in a relationship with each other, emphasis on non-exclusivity.
Autosexual: Sexual attraction only to oneself
(Is 'trysexual' a typo of 'trisexual? If you mean 'trisexual', that'd be attraction to 3 genders.)

Polysexual: Either attraction to more than 2, but not all gender identities, or is the umbrella term for people who are attracted to more than 1 gender. (The definitions and distinctions between bisexual, polysexual, and pansexual aren't always clear. Sometimes which term a person uses to identity with is a matter of personal preference.)
Antisexual: This tricky term can mean either being against others having sex (a kind of asexual elitism), or only being against oneself having sex and choosing life without it (for non-religious reasons, and considering this separate from celibacy).*** An example of the discrepancies in meaning here: [1] (yes, I'm turning myself in for this. I'm sorry for the times I clashed with people on this and got carried away. :( )

Celibate: (you didn't mention this, but thought I should list it now that I mentioned it) Generally refers to going without sex indefinitely, but there's no consensus on what specifically counts. Example: [1]

_{*I've seen 'attraction' be defined as either attraction to biological sex, or to gender (i.e: female-identified, male-identified and non-binary individuals)
**Bisexual can also be an umbrella term for all people who experience sexual attraction to more than 1 gender. Under this definition, pansexual would be under the umbrella, as would trisexual and polysexual.}

_{***For many terms here, there are discrepancies in how they're used, but this one takes the cake. This is why being specific is important! The latter definition is obscure to the English-speaking asexual community, yet I had been very insistent on identifying as antisexual, because I knew of that first, and because I really didn't want to identify as celibate because of the religious connotations. I guess I'll keep what I have for my A/sexuality description and try not to worry so much about labels, but it's still frustrating that there's no easy term for what I'm trying to describe. *shrugs*}

[Guest]

Polyamory: 3 or more people in a relationship with each other, emphasis on non-exclusivity.

That's a bit fuzzily worded. I'd define it as:

Polyamory: The state of being, or the potential to be, in a loving relationship with more than one partner at the same time, with honesty and informed consent of everyone involved.

The non-exclusivity is spot on, obviously, but the first part could be too easily misunderstood to mean that everyone involved in a poly system would need to be in a 'ship with every other person; that's one possible form of polyamory, but not the only one (and not even the most common one, from what I've seen among both other polys and my own sitch).

Kudos for the rest of the list, though.

[Braydin]

Sex positive is a position where sex is viewed favorably, that people who engage in sex should not be condemned for such behavior.

Sex repulsed is the position that someone is disgusted or repulsed at the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities, distinct from anti sexual which leans towards no one should engage in sexual activities.

I'm not sure I agree with aqua aces definition of anti sexual, it shows bias. I would compare it to being the opposite of 'sex positive'. Some people believe drugs are inherently bad and impair judgement, an antisexual would take this stance toward sex as well, that sex is inherently bad for similar reasons as drugs.

[Member54880]

Polyamory: 3 or more people in a relationship with each other, emphasis on non-exclusivity.

That's a bit fuzzily worded. I'd define it as:

Polyamory: The state of being, or the potential to be, in a loving relationship with more than one partner at the same time, with honesty and informed consent of everyone involved.

The non-exclusivity is spot on, obviously, but the first part could be too easily misunderstood to mean that everyone involved in a poly system would need to be in a 'ship with every other person; that's one possible form of polyamory, but not the only one (and not even the most common one, from what I've seen among both other polys and my own sitch).

Kudos for the rest of the list, though.

Okay, thanks for the clarification! I could only think of the most 'obvious' example of polyamory, because I was trying to distinguish it from an open (but still monogamous) relationship, though it is only one possibility. I forgot about the "potential to be" part too.

Thanks! I probably spent more time typing up and tweaking that list than I should have. :P

Sex positive is a position where sex is viewed favorably, that people who engage in sex should not be condemned for such behavior.

Sex repulsed is the position that someone is disgusted or repulsed at the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities, distinct from anti sexual which leans towards no one should engage in sexual activities.

I'm not sure I agree with aqua aces definition of anti sexual, it shows bias. I would compare it to being the opposite of 'sex positive'. Some people believe drugs are inherently bad and impair judgement, an antisexual would take this stance toward sex as well, that sex is inherently bad for similar reasons as drugs.

Personally I don't understand why someone who is supportive of all forms of sexuality, but doesn't shame people for not having sex would want to call it sex-positivity, because doesn't that suggest that sex is inherently good? Maybe that's because my experiences are very skewed. I don't think I heard this term before I found AVEN, and I've had run-ins with people who say that all sex is good, and shamed me for not wanting it.

A person can also find sex to do more harm than good without casting moral judgments on people who have it.

[Guest]

Sex positive is a position where sex is viewed favorably, that people who engage in sex should not be condemned for such behavior.

Sex repulsed is the position that someone is disgusted or repulsed at the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities, distinct from anti sexual which leans towards no one should engage in sexual activities.

I'm not sure I agree with aqua aces definition of anti sexual, it shows bias. I would compare it to being the opposite of 'sex positive'. Some people believe drugs are inherently bad and impair judgement, an antisexual would take this stance toward sex as well, that sex is inherently bad for similar reasons as drugs.

I think there's a subtle difference between antisexual and sex-negative, though they (obviously) have a lot in common... and that's even before you take into account that antisexual has a history of meaning something different from what it does now on AVEN, which is what aqua pointed out. The original meaning is closer to - though not the same as - celibacy.

For example, hardline Christian sexual mores are pretty strongly sex-negative ("thanks" to Augustine... that one guy's ideas did damage that still lasts one and a half millennia later) - sex is only okay if it's between a husband and a wife with intention to have kids. But within that narrow context, it still is "a good thing".

Antisexual (in the sense it's most commonly used nowadays on AVEN) is more "sex is bad, dirty, animalistic, etc., and so are all people who lower themselves to it instead of remaining pure virgins for life. No exceptions. Thank goodness I'm better than this."

Both are prescriptive and judgemental, but while sex-negativity treats sex as something that must be strictly controlled, anti-sexuality treats it as something that ought to be forbidden outright.

In contrast, sex-positivity that deserves the name respects everyone's right to have as much or as little sex in their lives as they want and feel good with, as long as it's all consensual (though the exact definition of what is "consent" still manages to vary somewhat depending on who you ask).

(And yes, sadly enough... there are self-identified "sex-positive" people who happily engage in virgin shaming, while howling about slut shaming. These folks completely miss the point by a misguided swing to the other, equally hurtful, extreme.)

[Braydin]

I guess extreme sex positives can take the stance that sex is good we should all engage in it, but the more milder version likely found on aven is likely to be criticising people who call promiscuous people 'sluts', or criticising sex negative/antisexuals. I guess its more about freedom to have and enjoy sex as long as it is consented.

[Braydin]

Honestly I haven't seen anyone on aven who does identify as antisexual and my knowledge is based on an antisexual site I looked up as I was curious about the term. I don't fully agree with antisexuality, but on some points I can sympathise such as humanity is preoccupied with love and sex, mostly because I do not personally seek those out. But the idea of forbidding sex outside of procreation I could only see as destructive and would lead to rape and violence. Just because I don't seek love and sex doesn't mean it isn't important to the other 99% of the human race. But just because I don't fully agree with antisexualism and see it as inherently flawed doesn't mean I would be outright dismissive of someone who does take that stance. Kinda like how many atheists don't act aggressive towards theists and vice versa, they can believe what they want I don't have to agree or listen.

Sorry about double post: once there is a like on a post I try not to edit as that may misrepresent the stance/views of who liked my post.

[Member54880]

I guess extreme sex positives can take the stance that sex is good we should all engage in it, but the more milder version likely found on aven is likely to be criticising people who call promiscuous people 'sluts', or criticising sex negative/antisexuals. I guess its more about freedom to have and enjoy sex as long as it is consented.

But what about people who choose not to have sex? Do they support that too, and if they do, why call it sex-positivity?

(This is embarrassing. I'm a PT and still don't understand this. I should have gotten this issue resolved before running in an election)

Honestly I haven't seen anyone on aven who does identify as antisexual and my knowledge is based on an antisexual site I looked up as I was curious about the term. I don't fully agree with antisexuality, but on some points I can sympathise such as humanity is preoccupied with love and sex, mostly because I do not personally seek those out. But the idea of forbidding sex outside of procreation I could only see as destructive and would lead to rape and violence. Just because I don't seek love and sex doesn't mean it isn't important to the other 99% of the human race.

There are so few of them, there's only one I know of who posts on a semi-regular basis. I bet part of it is from being too discouraged from doing so, and being pushed to identify as 'celibate' instead, which I find very problematic. Or the terminology differences are scaring them away. I almost didn't join. The whole thing about wanting to identify as antisexual has to do with wanting to distinguish their rejection of sex from (religious) celibacy (note the emphasis on non-religious reasons), but being 'against sexual people', or saying that people who have sex are animalistic and inferior was never intended.

EDIT: Sorry, Whitedragon. I hope I'm not derailing your thread, and if this ends up in Hot Box, it's my fault for it.

[Guest]

Honestly I haven't seen anyone on aven who does identify as antisexual [...]

Well, I have. Aside from aqua, who repeatedly pointed out using it in the original sense and not the "modern" one, I'm not going to call out names here. But yes, there is a minority here who do rather openly ID as antisexual.

As for myself... ex-antisexual (and still struggling with overcoming anti-romantic tendencies, even today). I was pretty rabid about it in my late teens and early twens. :redface: Took pretty long to get over that... I'm afraid it's a trap all too easy to fall into if one is repulsed (repulsion, by itself, is a-okay).

[Braydin]

But what about people who choose not to have sex? Do they support that too, and if they do, why call it sex-positivity?

I would hope so. I think it is a positive view on sex in general especially in the freedom to enjoy it. I think Mysticus Insanus summed it up pretty well especially with the clarification of sex negative to show how sex positivity contrasts with 'conservative' views on sex.

For example, hardline Christian sexual mores are pretty strongly sex-negative ("thanks" to Augustine... that one guy's ideas did damage that still lasts one and a half millennia later) - sex is only okay if it's between a husband and a wife with intention to have kids. But within that narrow context, it still is "a good thing".

In contrast, sex-positivity that deserves the name respects everyone's right to have as much or as little sex in their lives as they want and feel good with, as long as it's all consensual (though the exact definition of what is "consent" still manages to vary somewhat depending on who you ask).

(And yes, sadly enough... there are self-identified "sex-positive" people who happily engage in virgin shaming, while howling about slut shaming. These folks completely miss the point by a misguided swing to the other, equally hurtful, extreme.)

If sex negative is more of the religious conservative view perhaps 'sex positive' entails positive views on queer sexuality, and asexuality potentially falls under queer as it isn't the heterosexual norm.

[Member54880]

I really shouldn't be taking this personally, especially since I said I'm trying to not make such a big deal about labels, after suffering burnout related to this very issue. Both of these things we're debating are thorny subjects to me because of personal experience. But as I said earlier, I don't want to derail this thread further.

I recently started to think talking about sexual attitudes or ideologies, I think it's easier to put less emphasis on what the label is, and more on the description. Some viewpoints don't fit in the sex-positive/negative binary.

[Guest]

Have some more , aqua. I'm sorry that this topic gets to you so much, and impressed how calmly you still manage to post in spite of that.

[Braydin]

I imagine it is another spectrum based on opinion and not on something innate like attraction or romance. Political stand point 'conservative v progressive' is probably more closely related to positivism/negativism spectrum than sexuality.

[Whitedragon13]

Some of these terms are pretty tricky and have multiple meanings, or no consensus, so I added some footnotes to some of them.

Asexual: Lack of sexual attraction and/or desire for partnered sex (since 'sexual attraction' may not be well defined or relevant to some)

Aromantic: Lack of romantic attraction or lack of desire for romantic relationships?

Allosexual: People not on the asexual spectrum (not asexual, nor gray-A); same thing as 'Sexual'.

Heterosexual: Attraction only to other sexes or other genders?*

Homosexual: Attraction only to the same sex or same gender?*

Bisexual: Attraction to at least 2 gender identities/same and other genders**

Demisexual: Experiences sexual attraction only after a close emotional bond was formed first.

Nonsexual: No consensus on this anymore. See these two threads, for example: [1], [2]. Used to be interchangeable with asexual early in the history of the asexual community.

Gray-A: Umbrella term for people who experience little sexual attraction, and their experiences are more like those of asexuals than allosexuals. Demisexuals are a sub-group.

Pansexual: Attraction to all gender identities, or attraction regardless of gender.

Androsexual and Gynosexual: Attraction to men and women respectively

Androgenosexual: Attraction to both men and women.

Queer: May be a catch-all term for LGBTQ identities, but some identify as this to de-emphasize labels.

Heteroflexible and Homoflexible: Heterosexual individual who occasionally experiences same-sex/gender attraction, and homosexual individual who occasionally experiences other-sex/gender attraction. Might or might not consider themselves bisexual.

Bicurious: Umbrella term for Heteroflexible and Homoflexible

Hypersexual: Someone who experiences a very high degree of sexual attraction and/or libido.

Polyamory: 3 or more people in a relationship with each other, emphasis on non-exclusivity.

Autosexual: Sexual attraction only to oneself

(Is 'trysexual' a typo of 'trisexual? If you mean 'trisexual', that'd be attraction to 3 genders.)

Polysexual: Either attraction to more than 2, but not all gender identities, or is the umbrella term for people who are attracted to more than 1 gender. (The definitions and distinctions between bisexual, polysexual, and pansexual aren't always clear. Sometimes which term a person uses to identity with is a matter of personal preference.)

Antisexual: This tricky term can mean either being against others having sex (a kind of asexual elitism), or only being against oneself having sex and choosing life without it (for non-religious reasons, and considering this separate from celibacy).*** An example of the discrepancies in meaning here: [1] (yes, I'm turning myself in for this. I'm sorry for the times I clashed with people on this and got carried away. :( )

Celibate: (you didn't mention this, but thought I should list it now that I mentioned it) Generally refers to going without sex indefinitely, but there's no consensus on what specifically counts. Example: [1]

_{*I've seen 'attraction' be defined as either attraction to biological sex, or to gender (i.e: female-identified, male-identified and non-binary individuals)}

**Bisexual can also be an umbrella term for all people who experience sexual attraction to more than 1 gender. Under this definition, pansexual would be under the umbrella, as would trisexual and polysexual.

_{***For many terms here, there are discrepancies in how they're used, but this one takes the cake. This is why being specific is important! The latter definition is obscure to the English-speaking asexual community, yet I had been very insistent on identifying as antisexual, because I knew of that first, and because I really didn't want to identify as celibate because of the religious connotations. I guess I'll keep what I have for my A/sexuality description and try not to worry so much about labels, but it's still frustrating that there's no easy term for what I'm trying to describe. *shrugs*}

Thanks for the list Aqua, i kinda understand now more about the term. Thanks for the help. Hope it isn't a problem me posting this, i don't know if there any rules against it. If there is my intentions are more to understand the terms on a personal level, i get confused easily ^^;

Polyamory: 3 or more people in a relationship with each other, emphasis on non-exclusivity.

That's a bit fuzzily worded. I'd define it as:

Polyamory: The state of being, or the potential to be, in a loving relationship with more than one partner at the same time, with honesty and informed consent of everyone involved.

The non-exclusivity is spot on, obviously, but the first part could be too easily misunderstood to mean that everyone involved in a poly system would need to be in a 'ship with every other person; that's one possible form of polyamory, but not the only one (and not even the most common one, from what I've seen among both other polys and my own sitch).

Kudos for the rest of the list, though.

Thanks for clearing it out more^^ every bit helps.

Sex positive is a position where sex is viewed favorably, that people who engage in sex should not be condemned for such behavior.

Sex repulsed is the position that someone is disgusted or repulsed at the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities, distinct from anti sexual which leans towards no one should engage in sexual activities.

I'm not sure I agree with aqua aces definition of anti sexual, it shows bias. I would compare it to being the opposite of 'sex positive'. Some people believe drugs are inherently bad and impair judgement, an antisexual would take this stance toward sex as well, that sex is inherently bad for similar reasons as drugs.

I haven't read the definition yet but i can tell that the "antisexual" conversations are kinda limited because of problem and such. Dunno... Oh thanks for adding this, i forgot about it.