asvod123 Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 "Asexuality is disgusting!" Those are the exact words my friend said when I explained the concept of asexuality to her. When I asked her why, she replied, "Well, sex isn't disgusting to me. Therefore, the opposite of sex is disgusting." Personally, I find her statement outrageous. Any thoughts? Have you ever had anything like this said to you before? Link to post Share on other sites
tigkor Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I work customer service at times and live in a town with very different ideals then the ones I hold, so I've heard some things that make me smile, nod, and ask/tell them to leave. That said, I'd imagine it would be hard for her in life since if she's truly the opposite of an asexual, she wants to sleep with everyone she meets :P People can be silly at times, but meh ~-^. Sorry about the experience though, most of mine have been positive in that sort of conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
BabySquare Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 your friend is obviously really exploring the depths of human psychology to come up with that answer! Link to post Share on other sites
you*hear*but*do*you*listen Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I'm trying really hard not to inquire as to why you're friends with this person. Oh, wait... Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianimal Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I read something like this in another topic. That just doesn't make sense. By her logic, every other thing you do in life (laughing, eating, breathing...) is disgusting. Ask her how that's supposed to make any sense. I'm very curious. Link to post Share on other sites
little_miss Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 That comment makes no sense what so ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Cadet Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I don't get it... I don't think spiders are disgusting. Does that mean arachnophobes are disgusting? I'm going to try to reduce this to simple logic and see if it makes any more sense. A = spiders B = disgusting A = ┓B __________ ┓A=┓┓B ┓A=B Oh! I get it now! If spiders are the realm of things that are not disgusting, then everything that is not a spider is disgusting! Wait... So teddy bears are disgusting? Link to post Share on other sites
Cerebrum Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 When I asked her why, she replied, "Well, sex isn't disgusting to me. Therefore, the opposite of sex is disgusting." That's rather poor logic. Link to post Share on other sites
Crickets4ricky Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 That is sort of sad. No one has ever said that to me, but living in a pretty sex-positive environment, I do find myself worrying that that´s what people would think if I outed myself. Boo to your friend! But maybe you can familiarize her with the ways of the aces? IMO, people seem to find disgusting that which they can´t understand. (and...uh... this is awkward, but maybe she thinks that ´asexuality´ is just some convoluted kink? I´ve heard that said before on some of the comments to Dan Savage´s thread about asexuality. Maybe that explains some of her repulsion?) Link to post Share on other sites
FallenAngel Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 One of my friends said that asexuality was against nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Ten Below Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 To be fair, she did say that the opposite of sex is disgusting, which doesn't include everything that isn't sex. It only includes... lack of sex? Or actively avoiding sex? Really, really asexy things? I'm not sure what the opposite of sex is. The anti-sex. Now I'm curious. Link to post Share on other sites
CDSM Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Ha! Sex has all those fluids and stuff...that's at least a valid argument for disgusting. Eating is disgusting and rather absurd too when you think of it. Shoving alien substances through a hole in your head just to survive. Yes, I did crib that from G.K. Chesterton. (Am I using 'crib' as a verb correctly there? I need to consult urban dictionary.) One of my friends said that asexuality was against nature. I never understood how anything could be against nature if it exists. It's in *their* nature to be asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
red_brick_dream Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I really don't know what to say. Under other circumstances, I would probably end up insulting your friend four or five times, and I probably shouldn't do that. I'll have to be careful. So basically, the heterosexual thinks homosexual sex is disgusting. Analogously, the Chinese-food-hater thinks Chinese food is disgusting. How to make the leap from homosexual sex=disgusting to no sex=disgusting is just baffling. So is the idea that one who hates Chinese food could look at an empty plate, and recoil in as much disgust. Probably because the reasoning is so painfully, transparently infantile. If hers wasn't a petty, visceral response, she would quickly pick up on that (unless she's one of those flaky types who likes to go on about how "everything is relative," whatever the **** that means). Thinking in an irrational, emotional way isn't outrageous - it's the norm. But openly recoiling that an incredibly benign sexual preference which your friend has confided in you is "disgusting" - that's outrageous. Link to post Share on other sites
Kiki Asexual Superstar Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I always find it strange when sexual people seem to think that we insult their sexuality by existing. They can be who they are and we can be who we are. I do admit though that sometimes it makes me angry. I'm not stop anyone from pursuing what they want by being asexual. I am not that omnipotent. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I love* simplistic black-and-white thinkers, especially when they reverse it (and badly) in order to mock or offend people, ideas or other unfamiliar/unusual things. :lol: * = Sarcasm implied. I too wonder why those sort of people seem to think our existance and [being more well known - awareness, I can't think of the word right now] is a threat to them, other than because compared we seem like we have better control (stronger), higher morals and standards and thus make them look primal. So, it's well known that not taking a shower or bath is disgusting, but some people don't anyway. Is taking a bath or shower to those who don't take showers or baths for whatever reason disgusting? That was a pretty bad analogy or comparison.... Kissing is globally considered disgusting or not disgusting depending on who, why, what, when, etc. But if you don't kiss, is that disgusting? Even if Asexuality = Disgusting and Sexuality and/or Hypersexuality = Not disgusting just to that person, what is/are the reason(s) for this? Does this exceptional rule or logic apply to other comparisons under the same condition? You know what....I've confused myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Marcus Weiss Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Absurd is the perfect word for what she said. It's sad that some people are fixed in their cognition, saying things are against nature if they don't believe or understand in X, Y, or Z. Everything humans do is natural, because we are part of nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Jibun Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 When I asked her why, she replied, "Well, sex isn't disgusting to me. Therefore, the opposite of sex is disgusting." That's a pretty big logic fail. Then again, a lot of people are bad at presenting arguments, maybe you should ask her to explain her reasoning again in more detail? Link to post Share on other sites
randakinley Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 That is really ridiculous. First of all, if they are really your friends they should support you (I am lucky that the 5 people I have told have all supported me) and Second, does she even go to school? I mean, if she did, then she would know that her logic is outrageous and not even valid. To say that it is disgusting is not her place to say, first of all, and simply, if she can say that asexuality is disgusting, does that make it valid for us to say that sexuality is disgusting, too? People are narrow-minded and really need to start thinking using logic instead of the first thing that comes to mind. Link to post Share on other sites
asvod123 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 I'm trying really hard not to inquire as to why you're friends with this person.Oh, wait... Frankly, I've been asking myself a lot lately why I'm friends with this person too... :) Link to post Share on other sites
asvod123 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 One of my friends said that asexuality was against nature. I've gotten that too before... I was called a "freak of nature" quite a few times, unfortunately. D: Link to post Share on other sites
asvod123 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 Under other circumstances, I would probably end up insulting your friend four or five times, and I probably shouldn't do that. I was very tempted to do so (still am!)... Thankfully, I didn't. :) Link to post Share on other sites
asvod123 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 When I asked her why, she replied, "Well, sex isn't disgusting to me. Therefore, the opposite of sex is disgusting." That's a pretty big logic fail. Then again, a lot of people are bad at presenting arguments, maybe you should ask her to explain her reasoning again in more detail? What's extremely ironic is that she's on her way to becoming a lawyer. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Myr Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 If asexuality is disgusting to your friend, a part of you is disgusting to her too. I don't think that I could be friends with someone who thinks a part of me is disgusting. One thing that's bugging me is that there's a difference between not having sex and being asexual, yet she seems to think they're the same. Plenty of asexuals have sex, and don't necessarily dislike it. Her comment she made tells me that she doesn't really understand what asexuality is. You might want to explain asexuality to her again, asking her to in turn explain to you her understanding of asexuality, and maybe show her AVEN. That is, if you think the friendship is worth keeping. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 When I asked her why, she replied, "Well, sex isn't disgusting to me. Therefore, the opposite of sex is disgusting." That's a pretty big logic fail. Then again, a lot of people are bad at presenting arguments, maybe you should ask her to explain her reasoning again in more detail? What's extremely ironic is that she's on her way to becoming a lawyer. :lol: The world is coming to an end after all. Too much irony. Too much. And freak of nature? That's harsh. But since fertility is a factor of 'superiority' in much of the pack-animal kingdom, including humans, instinctively people see those who breed and breed well as more dominant and those with little or none at the bottom of the pecking order. Social hierarchy could be the underlying cause for asexualphobia too. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest member25959 Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 There is nothing disgusting about asexuality. On the other hand though, sticking a penis into a vagina............... Link to post Share on other sites
EllieZel Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 It sounds to me like she was just offended by the fact that you find sex (something she does/wants) disgusting, so she turned it around on you. Really, I don't see how a lack of anything could be disgusting. "Disgusting" is a descriptor, but in this case it's not describing anything, it's describing nothing. You could say that a lack of showering is disgusting, but what you probably mean is that the dirt/smell that accumulates from not showering is disgusting. It's not the lack of showering, it's the result of not-showering. Since asexuality doesn't seem to have any consistent "results", I can't see how it could be called disgusting. Is it possible that she's confused asexuality with something like autoeroticism, or masturbation? In that case, her argument would at least make sense. Still a bit narrow-minded, but at least coherent. Link to post Share on other sites
PiF Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 I think your friend is talking out of thier arse so if some one performs anal sex thats okay but sitting down with a cuppa tea declining sex is disgusting?? I would tell her, ignorant people to you are disgusting then fuck her off and find some new friends Link to post Share on other sites
Ocelot Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 "Asexuality is disgusting!"Those are the exact words my friend said when I explained the concept of asexuality to her. When I asked her why, she replied, "Well, sex isn't disgusting to me. Therefore, the opposite of sex is disgusting." Personally, I find her statement outrageous. Any thoughts? Have you ever had anything like this said to you before? I would think something that involves ejection of sticky bodily fluids, getting pubic hair in your mouth, and (often) sticking one's appendages inside the same orifice that one uses to defecate would be more rightly considered disgusting. Also, many sexual people consider sex to be disgusting, if done with the "wrong person", so I would think she would at least understand your point of view. Link to post Share on other sites
TheMuffinMan Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 You know what I love? When someone makes a judgment call on something on a really immature basis, people get outraged over it and then go on to make judgment calls of their own on a really immature basis. Congratulations! Link to post Share on other sites
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