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HATE CRIMES AGAINST ASEXUALS


Singing_Raven

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Singing_Raven

Has anyone heard anything about hate crimes being perpetrated against asexuals???? Asking because I am planning to do a little asex education {put up flyers where I live advocating fair treatment of asexuals like getting asexuality removed from the Dianostic and Statistical Manual of Pschiatry if it is in there and maybe some public speaking}. Also I am handicapped as well. So I try to be up on the latest crime trends.

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Has anyone heard anything about hate crimes being perpetrated against asexuals???? Asking because I am planning to do a little asex education {put up flyers where I live advocating fair treatment of asexuals like getting asexuality removed from the Dianostic and Statistical Manual of Pschiatry if it is in there and maybe some public speaking}. Also I am handicapped as well. So I try to be up on the latest crime trends.

Voodoo that is a wonderful opportunity to get the word out, and maybe even some new people to realize who they are and join here. I never heard of a physical hate crime against asexuals, although I am scared to think that if more people come out God forbid some disgusting human may use rape to try to teach an asexual a lesson as it has been done by gangs of men to lesbian and bisexual women.

Thank God that has not been the case so far to my knowledge and hopefully never ever will be. You may face ridicule or verbal harassment but likely just people who think you weird, confused, or have some psychological barriers against sex. These are worst case scenarios, but don't let them stop you, most likely you will put up the flyer and all will be swell.

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MARITAL RAPE. That's the big one. And rape in general really.

Marriage laws (especially Catholic ones) allow nonconsumation of marriage (ie no sex) as a reason for a divorce or annulment even if the partners previously agreed that the marriage would be sexless.

SOCIAL PRESSURE. Okay, not a hate crime but it can lead to rape, where the asexual person wants to try sex but then wants to stop and the sexual person carries on. If you ask someone to stop and they won't - that's rape.

Any hate crimes that happen to gay people (getting harrassed, assaulted, raped etc) often affect asexuals as well as they areoften assumed to be gay even if there is no evidence of their being interested in any gender.

Namecalling from teenagehood onwards. Being called frigid, repressed, broken, retarded, mentally ill etc can be both hurtful and detrimental to a person's self-esteem.

A few male-bodied asexuals I've known have been accused of various sexual perversions. I'm not sure why that is though.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. Hope it's helpful!

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I can't think why anyone would hate asexuals. Also there's no religion that I know of that treats asexuality as a sin or an abomination. Usually we're just not being believed or pitied. One of the worst would be being raped but that's not considered a hate crime.

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I know of one case in particular.

An AVEN member was gang-raped by a group of young men who rationalized it by saying they were going to "cure" her. She is from a predominately Catholic culture.

This happened shortly before I joined the site and it was still a hot topic of discussion when I was new.

-GB

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Re: "Being called frigid, repressed, broken, retarded, mentally ill etc can be both hurtful and detrimental to a person's self-esteem." I have been called many of these things and more, by various ignorant people. Especially "retarded" -- ironically the person saying so was not the brightest crayon in the box herself... !!!

I have heard of asexual women being raped, also, but do not know any personally.

Also, it is incorrect to say that no religion is against asexuality. Many fundamentalist Christians say it's an abomination, because God wants us to "mulitply" as it says in Genesis (they do not realize that Genesis was written before the Earth was over-populated, like, duh! I see asexuality as a good way to save the planet -- whereas the problem is not too many cars, it's too many people driving too many cars all at the same time -- too many people destroying the forests and dumping garbage into the ocean, and so on... )

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If you're asking what the chances of being murdered or beaten for being asexual are- fairly low. I haven't heard of physical crimes against asexuals. However, if you're in a homophobic area there's the concern you'll get labeled "gay" and the problems that follow. Apparently not experiencing sexual attraction is grounds for denying adoption as well, according to a thread that cropped up awhile back people will suspect you're a pedophile or something equally unsavory.

There are instances of rape where a partner gets the idea they're owed sex and decide to take it that I've seen on here. One member's boyfriend raped her, she charged him and her parents came up (she was at college), forced her to retract the charges and apologize to the rapist. There's also consensual "rape" where the partner gives consent after being pressured to but clearly doesn't want it so it's not actually rape but is still damaging emotionally. According to statistics, the majority of rapes are committed by a partner (I think 30+%), so it's not something that only effects asexuals by any stretch. on a similar vein, some people will take it as a "challenge" to try and "turn" you sexual, so that's a concern.

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In high school I was harassed and teased by the majority for being different.

Then I was bashed, had my ankle broken, stabbed and run down with a car for being who I am. Though they didn't know the term asexual and nor did I they did take out their hatred on me. I was never called gay or perverted as they full knew I just didn't understand their sexual way of thinking, but it seems that was enough.

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Once society realizes asexual people exist, there will be violent crimes against us. Society needs a scapegoat, naturally. They cannot pick on Blacks, Jews, or Gays anymore... I'm sure we'll come in handy when the time comes to find a group to blame for something...

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Thankfully those who carry out hate crimes have a limited/twisted intelligence and as such I doubt if they have heard of Asexuality

can you imagine the funny image though...thug looking for an asexual...grrr where is that 1%

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A lot of the things you're mentioning are definitely bad things, but they're not technically hate crimes.

Here's an interesting post by an AVEN member that might shed some light on the topic:

http://asexystuff.blogspot.com/2009/10/is-...tion-legal.html

To the OP: I'd be really wary about making hate crimes against asexuals part of an educational effort. Violent crime is not the primary issue that asexuals as a whole are facing; rather it's social pressure to be sexual (like some posters here have mentioned) and isolation.

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To the OP: I'd be really wary about making hate crimes against asexuals part of an educational effort. Violent crime is not the primary issue that asexuals as a whole are facing; rather it's social pressure to be sexual (like some posters here have mentioned) and isolation.

I took it as that they might be concerned about unpleasant retribution if they come out so publically, not that they'd make it a part of the information.

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Once society realizes asexual people exist, there will be violent crimes against us. Society needs a scapegoat, naturally. They cannot pick on Blacks, Jews, or Gays anymore...

What?! We didn't get that email here in Seattle. We have physical and in-print gay-bashing, we have swastikas painted on synagogues, we have blacks being questioned by police for simply standing on the street. And Seattle isn't any worse than any other American city; better than some.

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Guest Heligan

Im fairly sure that the AVEN leaflets I took to my drs office and the local library ended up in the bin; either that or they all went in a day or two, presummably not because there are lots of asexuals here, Im not sure why you would actually take a leaflet if you werent asexual... I get reading it... but taking it seems to be about showing it to others.

I couldnt help thinking that the speed they went, even if it was for showing to others, it was for amusement not for needed information. Its not hate crime but its not helpful, its the kind of thing people giving out condoms get too though. They walk round the corner and see people blowing them up, or filling them with water... its just disrespectful (and wasteful).

Amusement is not really helping awareness after all.

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Depends on what your definition of a hate crime is lol

ummm yeah bad name calling or just not accepting you as an asexual thats not a hate crime im fairly sure it has to be a crime first and thats just school yard stuff. Maritial rape umm yeah sure thats a horrible thing but thats still not a hate crime its not targetting asexuals specificaly. Rape... same thing again but still not hate crimes. What is there to hate anyways that might not understand us but there not going to beat us up for not want to have sex with them lol well depends how unstable they are and if they have any personal image problems lol

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Guest Heligan
Depends on what your definition of a hate crime is lol

ummm yeah bad name calling or just not accepting you as an asexual thats not a hate crime im fairly sure it has to be a crime first and thats just school yard stuff. Maritial rape umm yeah sure thats a horrible thing but thats still not a hate crime its not targetting asexuals specificaly. Rape... same thing again but still not hate crimes. What is there to hate anyways that might not understand us but there not going to beat us up for not want to have sex with them lol well depends how unstable they are and if they have any personal image problems lol

Theres is never anything to hate in hate crime if you look at it logically though. Skin colour is a prime example, gay another...

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Re: Can't pick on blacks & Jews anymore... well, what I meant was, people are not supposed to pick on blacks & Jews... It's not fashionable anymore... but they will need a fashionable scapegoat to pick on, so we'll fill that role quite well in this culture of promiscuity.

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Asterion Orestes

GHST143:

I know of one case in particular.

An AVEN member was gang-raped by a group of young men who rationalized it by saying they were going to "cure" her.

[sarc]Yeah, like that really works! :twisted: Groups of young males do the damnedest things, don't they, the cute little primates?[/sarc] I'd claim the above rationale--a "cure"--to cut off their genitalia. :angry:

thylacine:

Also, it is incorrect to say that no religion is against asexuality. Many fundamentalist Christians say it's an abomination, because God wants us to "mulitply" as it says in Genesis...

I've never heard this from "fundamentalist Christians"--or anyone else, for that matter.

Neither family, high school nor college ever presented me with any such problems (lucky guy!)--but, starting after I turned 30, it seemed there were some local @$$#0|€$ who didn't know me but thought I'd be fun to try some anti-gay-style hostility on. (I had a GF at the time.) Fortunately it never went beyond verbal $#|+, & I never learned who the perps were. (I'd readied a line like: "Hey, I'm not homosexual, I'm homicidal! :evil: ") However, it took me years to recover a decent sense of security in my hometown. Obviously I'm a sensitive potential killer :twisted:

Now, if some doofus wants to make fun of my fat middle-aged belly, that at least really exists! :redface:

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The OP was referring to being an easy target for crimes, something which able-bodied people often don't realise unless they become (temporarily) disabled or they have a hadicapped friend/family whose experiences they are very aware of.

For others, I guess it depends on where you are, in a community where curative rape is common, or you could be seen as corrupting people with asexual education, you'd be more at risk.

I was once being harassed in the workplace and I found out much later that a lesbian was too, by the same sh!thead. I ignored him totally and she did too (I'm not sure how str8 women respond to harassment), I was disabled at the time. Anyway I was assaulted and found it hard to get others to complain too because I guess it would not likely affect them in the same way. [sidenote- she was butch, I not but it makes one think if only dyke-type women were victimised)

IME (and not just 1 E) if you find yourself in such a situation disabled, shit will happen and if it is dealt with lightly by networks which are supposed to protect you etc., you will exhaust yourself trying to get, if not justice, at least safety, and you won't, the perpetrator will get away (and people don't give a toss). So the best approach becomes to avoid any situation that might result into victimisation.

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Guest Heligan
thylacine:
Also, it is incorrect to say that no religion is against asexuality. Many fundamentalist Christians say it's an abomination, because God wants us to "mulitply" as it says in Genesis...

I've never heard this from "fundamentalist Christians"--or anyone else, for that matter.

Neither family, high school nor college ever presented me with any such problems (lucky guy!)--but, starting after I turned 30, it seemed there were some local @$$#0|€$ who didn't know me but thought I'd be fun to try some anti-gay-style hostility on. (I had a GF at the time.) Fortunately it never went beyond verbal $#|+, & I never learned who the perps were. (I'd readied a line like: "Hey, I'm not homosexual, I'm homicidal! :evil: ") However, it took me years to recover a decent sense of security in my hometown. Obviously I'm a sensitive potential killer :twisted:

Now, if some doofus wants to make fun of my fat middle-aged belly, that at least really exists! :redface:

I have heard something in the same vein.

Basically I was told that if I became a Christian (Im atheist) god would 'fix me', so I could happily go along with having tons of sex in marriage. No sex in marriage is aparently not an option, because Paul said something about only marrying if you needed sex- couldnt do without it....

Granted this was coming from the guy who was trying to convert me and seemed to see himself as the 'carrot'... so its all a bit confused with other adgendas. Possibly as much about his marriage requirements as Gods... at the time I thought it put 'F**k me for gods sake' in a whole new light LOL.

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Wakarimasen????
I know of one case in particular.

An AVEN member was gang-raped by a group of young men who rationalized it by saying they were going to "cure" her. She is from a predominately Catholic culture.

This happened shortly before I joined the site and it was still a hot topic of discussion when I was new.

-GB

That was kinda talking about after the whole noah issue, i think there are plenty people on the earth now, i always considered that void, beside everyone in my church is super supportive of me. They believe its better to not like sex than to be a slut and you shouldn't be forced to do something you don't like, they all know i don't have a boyfriend or never had certain thoughts about a guy. No ,never heard of one but i don't see how raping some1 makes them like sex , "normal" people don't like sex after being raped, ask my aunt's patients, male or female.

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sinisterporpoise

One porblem with hate crimes. Hate is a motivation. It's not a crime to hate anything. It's the acting out that matters. But then, it's a terminology thing.

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GHST143:
I know of one case in particular.

An AVEN member was gang-raped by a group of young men who rationalized it by saying they were going to "cure" her.

[sarc]Yeah, like that really works! :twisted: Groups of young males do the damnedest things, don't they, the cute little primates?[/sarc] I'd claim the above rationale--a "cure"--to cut off their genitalia. :angry:

thylacine:

Also, it is incorrect to say that no religion is against asexuality. Many fundamentalist Christians say it's an abomination, because God wants us to "mulitply" as it says in Genesis...

I've never heard this from "fundamentalist Christians"--or anyone else, for that matter.

I've heard fundy Baptists rant against those who don't have spouses or children. Relatives and one coworker in particular made it quite clear to me that the Bible wants us to procreate. Not wanting a man, was in the words of one of my relatives "deviant". To quote: "Women were made to want men!" "It's wrong for a woman not to give herself to a man--she's being selfish, and Jesus wants us to love."

I don't think all fundies have it against asexual or childfree people, but quite a few of them do. They may not use the word "asexual" or know of the term, but in their minds, if you aren't actively planning a heterosexual relationship with children down the line, something sinful is going on. Personally, I think they are taking the "Pro-family" thing way, way too far.

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No ,never heard of one but i don't see how raping some1 makes them like sex , "normal" people don't like sex after being raped, ask my aunt's patients, male or female.

It's a far too common idea*- I've seen multiple people say they've heard someone, jokingly or not, say that an asexual "just needs a good rape". Often the rapists aren't thinking logically- they think that everyone likes sex so obviously it'll be enjoyable even if it's forced. :angry: People are screwed up.

*one person thinking it is too many. That several people in different geographic locations share the idea is just scary.

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This person I knew said someone should grab me off the subway and drag me off somewhere... sick, huh?

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Re: "Being called frigid, repressed, broken, retarded, mentally ill etc can be both hurtful and detrimental to a person's self-esteem." I have been called many of these things and more, by various ignorant people. Especially "retarded" -- ironically the person saying so was not the brightest crayon in the box herself... !!!

I have heard of asexual women being raped, also, but do not know any personally.

Also, it is incorrect to say that no religion is against asexuality. Many fundamentalist Christians say it's an abomination, because God wants us to "mulitply" as it says in Genesis (they do not realize that Genesis was written before the Earth was over-populated, like, duh! I see asexuality as a good way to save the planet -- whereas the problem is not too many cars, it's too many people driving too many cars all at the same time -- too many people destroying the forests and dumping garbage into the ocean, and so on... )

There's also a pretty large portion of Christians who take the "eunuch" verses into consideration and accept asexuals. Just thought it was good to note. ^^ (In case nobody else did.) But far too many judge every Christian based on the faults of well, MANY of them. lol, but it's still not good to do.

Unless I'm the only one who is "radical" and isn't like that. Most of those "fundys" would run screaming from me (and I don't mean b/c of the asexuality, nutrois thing either). LOL

Ok, maybe I shouldn't have admitted that, but OH WELL, GEEZ.

:P

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm an asexual Christian, so there. :P

I find more solace in that than anything else. I've never been "hated" for my lack of sexuality, but people tend to think themselves better than you and more experienced at life for it..and of course the usual "You're lying." (usually put more subtly, of course.)

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About these concerns and issues about sexless relationships and marriages being known....

It's no one else's business about a consenting couple's sex life or lack of sex life. If one's partner is bringing it up or feels like he or she should bring it up in public then that person is not worth being in a relationship with.

Just my humble and honest opinion.

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I've heard fundy Baptists rant against those who don't have spouses or children. Relatives and one coworker in particular made it quite clear to me that the Bible wants us to procreate. Not wanting a man, was in the words of one of my relatives "deviant". To quote: "Women were made to want men!" "It's wrong for a woman not to give herself to a man--she's being selfish, and Jesus wants us to love."

I don't think all fundies have it against asexual or childfree people, but quite a few of them do. They may not use the word "asexual" or know of the term, but in their minds, if you aren't actively planning a heterosexual relationship with children down the line, something sinful is going on. Personally, I think they are taking the "Pro-family" thing way, way too far.

Which is kind of ironic considering Paul basically said "It's better to be single because you'll love God more...if you're married you'll love your family more".

But then, too many "Christians" haven't really read the Bible.

Now, before I get off on a huge rant on the hypocrisies of my somewhat brethren, on the subject, I have not heard of any hate crimes against asexuals or asexuality, mainly because I don't think most people think of it as real. Whenever I've seen it comes up, someone comes in with the old "in denial" angle.

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