Kotoko Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 For a quick and short intro, I go by the name of Kotoko online, sometimes by other names. I'm 20, female, and identify myself as an aromantic asexual ^^; For a longer bio, please continue to read... I'm 20 but still, no boyfriend, no romantic or sexual relationships of any kind, and absolutely no interest in any of that, either. Sure, in the past, I've had a couple of crushes but when I sat down and thought about it, I could not see myself with them romantically or developing anything more than a good friendship with them. It was more than a bit awkward seeing my peers get together, date, break-up, then date again, and even talk about their sexual experiences with each other - and, of course, I couldn't even participate in these conversations because I had nothing to contribute. I have to admit, it did help a little in high school, when most of the people in my main circle of friends weren't dating for much of the time, so we were content to mostly hang out with each other and talk about our favourite TV shows or complain about school. Moreover, my family didn't really pressure me to pursue a relationship. They tended to place more importance on my academics than anything else. My grandmother, for example, always asks if I have a boyfriend whenever we visit her, to which my answer is always, "Nope." And she would always answer, "Good. You're too smart. You don't need a boy." But then I got to university. Around this time, about half of my friends who were previously single started dating. Some started to talk about having sex. A couple of my friends even asked me if I wanted them to help set me up with someone. I have one friend who actually tried to do it and she's dead set on finding the right guy for me. We even went to visit my grandparents last weekend and my grandmother asked me the same "Do you have a boyfriend?" question again. When I told her I didn't, she said, "Not yet? Maybe you'll still be able to get married before I die." (The dying part sounds morbid, but my grandmother mentions it fairly often - she's 90 and knows that, realistically, there's a high chance she'll die within the next 10 years) It sorta felt odd to hear a different answer, and I feel a little...disheartened...that my grandmother will probably never live to see me, the last of her grandchildren, to get married. I still feel absolutely no interest in any kind of relationship other than those with family and friends. I've already explained to a few of my friends that I honestly do not see myself married in the future and that I'm very much content with living my life the way I've lived it so far. I've long realized that I can be happy without a romantic or sexual relationship. Of course, I don't completely rule out the possibility that I may end up married in the future because I'm not psychic, right? But for now, I really can't see it happening. Still, despite the fact that I'm content with the way I am, I couldn't help but think how odd it was that I was seemingly the only one who felt this way, and that most of my friends (and family) can't understand that I'm actually happy being single! My friend who's trying to set me up with someone even said, "I can see what you're saying, but I have to admit I don't understand it. It's just...different." I think the only person I know who has actually said something encouraging was when a whole bunch of my aunts (I have many of them) were asking me if I had a boyfriend and why I didn't have one yet; but one of my aunts spoke up and said, "It's ok! You don't need a man to be happy." That was a few years ago, but I clearly remember her saying something like that and being very happy, even though at the time, I didn't identify myself as asexual. So! I'm quite happy to be here. When I found out that there was a name for what I was feeling and that there were many people who felt the same way, I was ecstatic! I don't feel alone. I don't feel as much pressure to change who I am or to try to find a boyfriend. My feelings have been validated to an extent, and it's made me feel just a bit more comfortable with myself. Plus...I see that AVEN members give out cake, and I do like cake =D Link to post Share on other sites
Bethie Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Yes! Have as much as you like too! :cake::cake::cake:!! Welcome to AVEN! ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
purissimus Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Welcome to AVEN, Kotoko. Yup. Have some more . Enjoy the forums. Link to post Share on other sites
Kotoko Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 *pounces on the cake* Yay! My sweet tooth is satisfied. I hope I don't spill too many crumbs... Link to post Share on other sites
Bethie Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 :lol: No matter! AVEN cake crumbs reform to make MORE cake XD Link to post Share on other sites
jr1 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I'm glad you registered and hope you're here for years to come Link to post Share on other sites
Kotoko Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 No matter! AVEN cake crumbs reform to make MORE cake OMG That's the best cake I've ever had in my life, me thinks xD Link to post Share on other sites
Nakauri Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 No matter! AVEN cake crumbs reform to make MORE cake XD Curse you ... I choked on my own laughter. It didn't help that I saw little amoebacakes turning into blobcakes, but still. Choking is bad...! No matter! AVEN cake blobs! UNITE! ..into greetings! Link to post Share on other sites
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