Asexuals Do Not Come Out Of A 'Closet'.

[LilliPete]

'Sup, all. So last night, as I was laying awake in bed and wishing that my house had better heating, I started contemplating "coming out of the closet" officially to some friends. They kind-of, sort-of know, but I feel like making a PowerPoint. But then the idea struck me: Why do we have to come out of a 'closet'? I thought about it, and I came up with this (probably extremely inaccurate) theory:

People use the phrase "coming out of the closet" because back in the day, when even implying you were gay would have been suicide, closets were used to hide your dirty laundry. Homosexuality was considered "dirty laundry" and was therefore put into the "closet." Asexuals generally enjoy cake. It's a pretty much a given. Where are the supplies for baking a cake kept? In the pantry. So "coming out" as an asexual should be referred to as "coming out of the pantry."

This is what I do at night instead of sleeping. The insomnia probably doesn't help, either, but it has yet to kill me. All in favor of changing "closet" to "pantry"?

EDIT: Huh. I never thought people would actually care about this. Well, just for clarification, I'm not 100% serious about the "pantry" thing, but I do think we should have our own phrases for asexuality-related topics. I like the "putting one's card on the table", though.

[sassyeggs]

*raises hand*

Just because you put so much thought into it. :P

[zoidberger]

I tend to come out of the woodwork :P

I hear you though, that term has always been weird to me.

[LilliPete]

I tend to come out of the woodwork :P

I hear you though, that term has always been weird to me.

You might be a termite, then. Up until last night I never questioned the term. Some things in life are just accepted until someone says something, like slavery, only this is waaaay less evil.

[Kurai-Tenshi_Niks]

Meh, i'm content with whatever term people

use for "coming out."

[Sally]

I don't keep dirty clothes in the closet. I open the basement door and throw them downstairs, then trip on them when I go down to do the washing. But pantry's fine. Or we could come onstage (from backstage), in the sense of stepping forward into visibility. But pantry's fine.

[cijay]

I came out of an elevator. I had been cruisin' up and down the floors all of my life the doors would open, I'd step out at the levels from "blossoming" to "straight" to "lesbian", "dating", "searching for a mate" and all the other departments, browsing through them but never liking what I saw. Then I stopped at the asexual floor and have stayed here ever since.

But also, you don't have to come out of a closet. You can stay in there, you can stay wherever you want. There's no need for you to tell your friends.

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

I say we come out of the primordial soup.

...you know, like amoebas?

[The MoUsY spell-checker]

I say we come out of the primordial soup.

...you know, like amoebas?

Haha, I like that one.

I think pantry probably sounds a bit more positive though.

Right. Come out of the pantry and bake your cake.

[Teagan KGB]

Well, you are what you eat, so how about coming out of the cake pan?

[Kezza]

I very much like the pantry idea, although I haven't come out of one as yet!

I'm hiding behind the muesli and the 5 year old box of water crackers.

[Beeyaw!]

:cake: for creativity!

Wouldnt the cake get stale in the pantry though?

[Blueflare]

I don't even have a closet, or a pantry.

Many of us are Doctor Who fans, let's say we came out of the Tardis.

(Though I must confess; I don't have one of those either...)

[Starscream]

Hmm, I have cupboards, but no pantry...I still kind of think it's funny, considering the cake :D

All in all, I really don't care.

[Rivalee]

Well, I like saying came out of the box when I tell people about my asexuality.

[Jazmin]

Hmm I usually just say "coming out"...without any specification of where I am coming out from.

[Mimicking Sanity]

Heh.

Some people talk about 'Skeletons in the closet'. With sexual orientation also, the closet would be a little full.

I'm in favour of the pantry, in that case.

[Parth]

Jumping out of the cake, perhaps?

XD

What about... putting one's cards on the table. 'Ace' reference there.

[metalgirl2045]

What about... putting one's cards on the table. 'Ace' reference there.

I like that! I don't like the "coming out of the closet" phrase with regards to asexuality, with homosexuality I think it works as a metaphor not because of the dirty laundry thing but a safety thing. Homosexuality used to be, and in some places still is, a crime. In some social circles being known as gay can result in ostracism, prejudice or even compromised personal safety. So to be widely known as gay can in some cases mean leaving a safe place.

Asexuality on the other hand, the worst you're likely to get is being bugged by people you don't understand. I've never heard of someone getting fired, beaten, murdered or executed because of being asexual. You can just tell people what you are and see how they react, which seems more like putting cards on a table than leaving a safe hidey-hole.

[Kakumei]

Jumping out of the cake, perhaps?

XD

I like this one. :lol:

[SlightlyMetaphysical]

lulz at thread

[Skylark]

It's bad enough that this forum is cake-obsessed - if we start cake-ifying important terms as well, I'll start tearing my hair out! Asexuality has absolutely nothing to do with cake! Geez! It's simply too important a part of my life for me to be frivolous about. Cake as an inside AVEN joke is one thing, but creating tacky phrases around it to be used in public is far too much for my taste. "Coming out of the pantry" just sounds awful and makes me think of people with binge eating disorders. I don't know if the OP was being serious about this suggestion or was just meaning to be light-hearted about asexuality, but I wish people would just drop the whole cake thing already. <_< If we want to rename/rephrase "the closet", we should at least use something that actually relates to asexuality. And. Cake. Doesn't.

No offense meant to anyone, by the way - I'm just getting absolutely fed up with hearing about cake all the time in relation to asexuality.

/end rant

[knoxroxmysox]

*looks up* Wow. You seem pretty broken up about this.

Anyway, I think it's a funny idea. I liked "putting our cards on the table," partly because of the aces thing and partly because I think there's a big difference between coming out as homosexual and coming out as asexual.

(I'm pretty sure people will take this the wrong way, but stick with me for a moment.) If you come out as homosexual, that's basically it. You've stepped out of the closet. You are sexually attracted to and want to have romantic relationships with members of the opposite sex. And this is clear from the get-go. No one wonders what you mean when you tell them you're homosexual.

Coming out as asexual, on the other hand, is, in many cases, just the beginning. I, for example, could come out as asexual, but also as a repulsed demi-pan-romantic asexual. That's not just coming out of the closet, that's coming out plus about an hour and a half of explanation (since most people can't decipher any of those terms on their own, having never ever heard them before).

So, we're putting our cards on the table. A lot of different cards. And then, often, explaining their meanings and significance. Slightly more complicated than just stepping out into the open. If significantly less dangerous.

[chipmunkgirl]

What about... putting one's cards on the table. 'Ace' reference there.

This is my favourite one- because of the ace reference, and as knoxroxmysox puts it, because we really have to do a lot of explaining and laying all of our arguments/explanations down.

I think, though, that if you are talking to people outside the forum, no one is going to understand anything besides "coming out of the closet"

[metalgirl2045]

"Putting your cards on the table" I think would imply that you're going to give someone some personal information they might find odd, which is about right. "Coming out of the pantry" is just an in-joke.

For paganism and witchcraft "coming out of the broom closet" is often used.

[Orren]

It's bad enough that this forum is cake-obsessed - if we start cake-ifying important terms as well, I'll start tearing my hair out! Asexuality has absolutely nothing to do with cake! Geez! It's simply too important a part of my life for me to be frivolous about. Cake as an inside AVEN joke is one thing, but creating tacky phrases around it to be used in public is far too much for my taste. "Coming out of the pantry" just sounds awful and makes me think of people with binge eating disorders. I don't know if the OP was being serious about this suggestion or was just meaning to be light-hearted about asexuality, but I wish people would just drop the whole cake thing already. <_< If we want to rename/rephrase "the closet", we should at least use something that actually relates to asexuality. And. Cake. Doesn't.

No offense meant to anyone, by the way - I'm just getting absolutely fed up with hearing about cake all the time in relation to asexuality.

/end rant

The cake references are more to do with the specific AVEN community more than Asexuality as a whole. And it's more like a mascot of the forums rather than a symbol of our orientation. That's just the way I see it anyway...

[Teagan KGB]

For paganism and witchcraft "coming out of the broom closet" is often used.

And for vampirist, it's "coming out of the coffin."

[Næt.]

Marxists have no closet. It is a device used by the ruling class to instil false consciousness.

[Questioned]

"Coming out the the pantry"

haha that's so cute.

[ThePieMaker]

I always saw it more as "coming out of the bedroom"... of course that could also imply the walk of shame.