Niemand Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 So I was talking with my very sexual friend and I mentioned that I wished I had an asexual boyfriend. This lead to a longer conversation in which she said "Wait, you do want to have sex someday, don't you?" I replied, that no, I did not, and I could not even comprehend why somebody would want sex. I said to me sex is like saying taking your finger and jamming it repeatedly up your partner's nose and saying that it's pleasurable and an expression of love. She (my friend) laughed but I think she may finally be starting to understand that I'm not as sexual as her. So, to make this a discussion, any other metaphors for an asexual's view of sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Heligan Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Oh God!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I can see how someone might think that. And to be honest most people (sexuals) have sex that feels exactly like that at sometime in there lives! I suppose you/we are far more likely to have sex like that as an asexuals. Link to post Share on other sites
Zealous Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 "Imagine two wet, slimy pieces of fish. Now repeatedly slap those two pieces of fish together." "Each of you has a snakebite. Now cut open the snakebites and mix the pus together." If I can think of anything else, I'll be back. WAIT! I know! "Imagine that you're kissing someone, and suddenly, they stick their tounge between your teeth." Oh... wait... ;p Link to post Share on other sites
bbctv Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 i think i said that once, so the nose thing probably is a good metaphor. i told someone that it just didn't appeal to me any more than sticking my finger in the person's nose, and i couldn't understand why anyone would wANT me to do that. ear would work as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Glitter Spock Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I said to me sex is like saying taking your finger and jamming it repeatedly up your partner's nose and saying that it's pleasurable and an expression of love. I think that's a good metaphor for sexual acts that involve penetration. XD Although, jamming a finger up a nose would likely be very much more painful than penetrative sex. Link to post Share on other sites
bard of aven Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 XD Although, jamming a finger up a nose would likely be very much more painful than penetrative sex. If both actions were performed with a modicum of skill, then yes, in most cases, the finger in the nose would hurt more. boa Link to post Share on other sites
noise Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 i don't have anything to add to this discussion besides that that sounds pretty rank. Link to post Share on other sites
retrophile Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 XD Although, jamming a finger up a nose would likely be very much more painful than penetrative sex. If both actions were performed with a modicum of skill, then yes, in most cases, the finger in the nose would hurt more. boa I recently found out that there's a kind of massage/accupressure thing where the therapist actually puts their finger up your nose, as far as it will go. :shock: Link to post Share on other sites
Moxed Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Funny story, I had an ex who did try to pick my nose. * :oops: Sometimes, I have trouble accepting that it actually happened...that it wasn't some alternate reality...but to be honest, most of the time, I just consider it hilarious * Okay, okay, we're not talking digging for gold here, or nostril spelunking, or anything. Just a quick, I'm in your nose--but now I'm out--haha! type of thing--still weird though :roll: *EDIT = I just wanted to make clear that there was no "sexual intention" behind it -- just too youngins goofing around. Link to post Share on other sites
z80 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 for those of you who have never had to pick someone else nose, you obviously have never looked after children :-) Link to post Share on other sites
osito Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I pick my cats' noses regularly, as needed. Only because they can't do it for themselves. They hate me doing it and try to squirm away, but seem to appreciate it afterward. :D As for sex metaphors, well...I have in the past had a fair bit of sex in the interests of trying to find out why I didn't like it. And I mostly didn't hate it; I just had no arousal, no inclination to seek it out, and I developed an aversion to being pressured to have it. So, in an attempt to be humorous about a sucky situation, I wrote this parody to Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now": Bogs of frogs and horny toads And lizards' guts upon the roads And grubs and slugs in dank abodes; I've looked at sex that way... :shock: Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 So I was talking with my very sexual friend and I mentioned that I wished I had an asexual boyfriend. This lead to a longer conversation in which she said "Wait, you do want to have sex someday, don't you?" I replied, that no, I did not, and I could not even comprehend why somebody would want sex. I said to me sex is like saying taking your finger and jamming it repeatedly up your partner's nose and saying that it's pleasurable and an expression of love. She (my friend) laughed but I think she may finally be starting to understand that I'm not as sexual as her.So, to make this a discussion, any other metaphors for an asexual's view of sex? The only metaphore I could use is that sex is like eating liver. I don't care if other people do it, just don't get me involved. I can't see it being the same as the nose thing because when people are in sexual relationships, apparently sex feels good. I don't see how jamming your finger up someone's nose repeatedly could feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I have to laugh because I wrote about sex using the nose-picking analogy quite some time ago. I'm not going to look it up, but I think it was last summer. I still like this comparison! Anyway, I was using it to explain how asexuals could masturbate while still not being interested in sex. A certain amount of, erm ... "nasal maintenance" is sometimes necessary, everybody does it, and it can be fairly enjoyable in some circumstances, but it isn't the sort of thing that most people would wish to share with others - either by taking part or by watching. As an analogy ... 'Works for me! -GB Link to post Share on other sites
Ten Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I laughed out loud when I read the title for this thread. I really want to try saying it out of context at some point when an awkward silence arises. Link to post Share on other sites
Shooting Star Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 This thread gives the silly axiom,"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose!"an entirely different meaning. Link to post Share on other sites
Parth Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 A certain amount of, erm ... "nasal maintenance" is sometimes necessary, everybody does it, and it can be fairly enjoyable in some circumstances, but it isn't the sort of thing that most people would wish to share with others - either by taking part or by watching. Ahaha, that really tickled me. My analogy would be two people sitting in a bath together, and then they both pee. Link to post Share on other sites
Moxed Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 My analogy would be two people sitting in a bath together' date=' and then they both pee.[/quote']At least it's sterile? Link to post Share on other sites
birdnerd Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 GBRD, I really love the euphemism "nasal maintenance" and will have to use it from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
Shortass Lady Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Loving the analogy, Niemand! That's a quote I won't forget for a long time! To me, the idea of sex being important in a relationship is about as comprehendable as..oooh I dunno...living in a society where saying 'Ooomba Goomba' to each other for 20 minutes a day is seen as an important part of a relationship. I just don't get it! To me it seems unnecessary. I'm sure it makes sense for other people, and that's fine for them, but I'm never quite going to get my head around the idea! Link to post Share on other sites
jr1 Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 good comparison Link to post Share on other sites
E.winEla Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Loving the analogy, Niemand! That's a quote I won't forget for a long time!To me, the idea of sex being important in a relationship is about as comprehendable as..oooh I dunno...living in a society where saying 'Ooomba Goomba' to each other for 20 minutes a day is seen as an important part of a relationship. I just don't get it! Hahah, that's hilarious. Sex to me actually does seem like some foreign language that sounds kinda bad or silly. Link to post Share on other sites
AVENCakes Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 Seeing as "cum" in the female sense is, if I'm getting things straight, mucus, that's an entirely accurate point of view. You're just more likely to poke someone's brain out with the nose thing... Link to post Share on other sites
alucard Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 :lol: Haven't heard anything so hilarious for quite some time... Link to post Share on other sites
nevermoreme36 Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 This thread gives the silly axiom,"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose!"an entirely different meaning. hahaha Link to post Share on other sites
cyan Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 I unfortunately don't have any good metaphors to add ... So my (unnecessary) contribution to the discussion will be thus: Did you know that in some cultures, women stick their finger in their partner's ear during foreplay / sexual intercourse? *wanders back out of the thread, whistling* Link to post Share on other sites
GirlInside Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 This thread gives the silly axiom,"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose!"an entirely different meaning. Hey, that's what I was going to say! I love the analogy too. Link to post Share on other sites
McBuh Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Might be a good way to show people what asexuality is like: make a stereotypical "porn" movie featuring digital/nasal penetration, show it to them, and wait for them to say, "This is completely pointless/ridiculous." DING! Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky9738 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Ha! This made me laugh harder than it has all day. Perfect analogy. I think i'll use it next time I'm trying to explain myself to somebody. Link to post Share on other sites
dash Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 i think i said that once, so the nose thing probably is a good metaphor. i told someone that it just didn't appeal to me any more than sticking my finger in the person's nose, and i couldn't understand why anyone would WANT me to do that. ear would work as well. Yeah, but then they come back with the "Because if feels good" line and all that. They go on and on about how it's the most pleasurable and intimate thing two people can do together (which I personally don't think is necessarily the case), and then they throw in "How can you tell me it's not since you haven't done it/had the wrong partner," and they try to make you feel stupid telling them that the most pleasurable thing they've ever done isn't in fact the most pleasurable thing they've ever done. Then you lose. If there's a way to engage in this discussion without getting to this point and the argument falling apart, please enlighten me! Link to post Share on other sites
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