Incredibly Ace Moments

[Trini]

When I was about 13 or 14, I remember hanging out with my best friend and telling her that I never want to have sex (which I thought was a perfectly common descision). She gave me an odd look and replied, "Well don't say to anyone that when you're 21." And I asked why, and she told me that by the age of 21 everyone is supposed to have had sex. My response: WHAT?!!

One of the dumbest things my friends would point out was the way I would shake up a carton of chocolate milk at lunch. Apparantly it looked like "jerking off" or whatever. All I did was shake it back and forth and suddenly everyone gasps and laughs. It was really annoying and all I could say was, "I'm only shaking my milk!" Now whenever I have to shake something it makes me pause and remember that.

[Teagan KGB]

One of the dumbest things my friends would point out was the way I would shake up a carton of chocolate milk at lunch. Apparantly it looked like "jerking off" or whatever. All I did was shake it back and forth and suddenly everyone gasps and laughs. It was really annoying and all I could say was, "I'm only shaking my milk!" Now whenever I have to shake something it makes me pause and remember that.

I got that too, only in college.... Now I shake my milk or coffee drinks in a circular side-to-side movement, I guess...

[Pandoren]

*Reading something on ceefax*

~The worst chat up line I ever had was "I love your shirt, but it would look better on my bedroom floor!"~

My first thought- Is he saying that her shirt looks like a carpet?

OOOOHHH :D

[Ocelot]

I remember reading a blog from a woman explaining why she didn't like Pirates of the Caribbean II by using sex as an analogy. I just read it and thought "Why the hell would someone compare an action movie to sex?"

What? o_0 Could you link me to it? I'm actually kind of intrigued to see how she makes that comparison.

I don't know if I can find it again. That was a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago.

[Henny]

OK, I've had a bit of an opposite Ace Moment today. I was hearing this on a Sitcom TV show. :P

Boss: I have placed a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, and I just want you to try not to give in to the temptations of the flesh.

Employee: Don't worry, I never eat any meat until after work.

:lol:

[Guest Nightfire]

Most of the time when I have my ace moments via MSN, I usually give replies by saying "..." whenever my sexual friends make sexual remarks to me :lol:

[Plaid]

I suppose this counts. I'm so unobservant D:

I was at the supermarket with my Dad today, and I noticed a bottle of Eno on the top shelf of the aisle we were in. I kind of zoned out staring at it, remembering when my Grandma had put it in our juice to make it fizzy one time, and how awful it tasted.

My Dad came wandering up behind me, and said "Why are you staring at the condoms?"

I went O_O and realized they were on the shelf underneath the eno. Completely missed them. My Dad hassled me about it the whole way down the aisle, and hes still convinced they were what I was looking at. >____<

I have yet to figure out why two such different products were so close together.

[Shuusui]

I suppose this counts. I'm so unobservant D:

I was at the supermarket with my Dad today, and I noticed a bottle of Eno on the top shelf of the aisle we were in. I kind of zoned out staring at it, remembering when my Grandma had put it in our juice to make it fizzy one time, and how awful it tasted.

My Dad came wandering up behind me, and said "Why are you staring at the condoms?"

I went O_O and realized they were on the shelf underneath the eno. Completely missed them. My Dad hassled me about it the whole way down the aisle, and hes still convinced they were what I was looking at. >____<

I have yet to figure out why two such different products were so close together.

I remember being shocked that things like condoms were sold in public places. To me they were practically a black market commodity. (Of course, sex education even in my high school took the "Don't have unmarried sex or you'll die/drop out of school/have a penis that looks like THIS!" approach so I suppose it's not that surprising.)

Recently I was trying to tell my mom about the late night I spent in the apartment of an older club member with another few new friends, all of whom were guys. We were just there to watch anime, which my mom understood perfectly, but she kept teasing me about it, especially about the way the words kept coming out of my mouth as I tried to avoid saying anything remotely implicative. (Of course, I did accidentally start by saying "so I went home with a guy...") It really frustrates me that people have to make that leap just about the idea of people of the opposite gender spending time together, even if only to joke about it. Talk about awkward.

[Kimmy]

I had an awesome ace moment today in my sexuality psychology course. :lol: We were talking about marriage, and the instructor had us divide into pairs where we would pretend we were married with our partner, and we had to discuss our views on children, money, chores, etc. with each other. We could choose to be homosexual or heterosexual, but I offered to be the "man" with my female partner.

So of course, the topics we had to discuss eventually went to sex. What kind, how often. Which, first of all, thinking about it made me a little sick to my stomach. I didn't want to tell my partner that I'm asexual, just because that tends to be something that needs some explanation and we didn't have a whole lot of time to talk. So I was thinking, "Well...maybe a once a week or something," that seemed generous to me. Then my partner said, "Twice a week, at the least!"

Once I had a moment to process this, I said, "Okay, twice a week." Then when the instructor asked us who said sex 0-2 times a week, I sheepishly raised my hand and everyone gave this look like we were crazy. My partner emphasized again, "At the LEAST!" I so badly just wanted to say, "No! Twice a week is all you're getting!!!"

A lot of pairs said they agreed to 5-7 times per week!!! Holy

[TheMelbourneMethod]

I had an awesome ace moment today in my sexuality psychology course. :lol: We were talking about marriage, and the instructor had us divide into pairs where we would pretend we were married with our partner, and we had to discuss our views on children, money, chores, etc. with each other. We could choose to be homosexual or heterosexual, but I offered to be the "man" with my female partner.

So of course, the topics we had to discuss eventually went to sex. What kind, how often. Which, first of all, thinking about it made me a little sick to my stomach. I didn't want to tell my partner that I'm asexual, just because that tends to be something that needs some explanation and we didn't have a whole lot of time to talk. So I was thinking, "Well...maybe a once a week or something," that seemed generous to me. Then my partner said, "Twice a week, at the least!"

Once I had a moment to process this, I said, "Okay, twice a week." Then when the instructor asked us who said sex 0-2 times a week, I sheepishly raised my hand and everyone gave this look like we were crazy. My partner emphasized again, "At the LEAST!" I so badly just wanted to say, "No! Twice a week is all you're getting!!!"

A lot of pairs said they agreed to 5-7 times per week!!! Holy

indeed.

When I finally first grasped that yes, some people actually do want to have sex, I figured it would be once every two weeks, or maybe twice a month. After all, weeks can just speed by and something like that, I figured, had to be worked up to, especially considering how sweaty people seemed to get doing it. (Why would you want to get sweaty 5-7 times a week? That's the part I find hardest to understand.) When I first heard people talking about having sex daily (this was before I knew I was asexual) I went "Wtf?" To this day it shocks me. For instance, even though I should have gotten used to it by now, this girl in the dorm next to mine has a guy over every night. And it surprises me every time I hear them going at it. (They don't even try to be quiet.)

[SilverplatedKeys]

I had a huge ace moment when I was about 15-16. My parents had sent me on a "You and Your Sexuality" retreat with my church youth group, and towards the end of the trip, our youth leader asked us to form a large group in front of her. Out of pure, non-judgmental curiosity, she wanted to know how many of us thought we'd wait until we were married to have sex. So she asked the people who might have premarital sex to step to her right and anyone who knew they'd wait to step to her left. Well, not really having any interest in sex, this just seemed like a really easy quiz question to me. ;) Do I want to have an unplanned pregnancy? No. Do I potentially want to get an STD? No. Do I really want anyone to even see me naked? Uh, not really. So I stepped to her left... with one other guy; the other ten people all moved en masse to her right. So she asked them why. "Well, you never know...." "Sex can be a great thing when its with someone you love; I just don't know if I'll marry the first person I love." "I'm not sure I'll ever get married, but I do want to have sex." So she asked my small group of two why we wouldn't. The other guy stammered and said he just didn't believe in sex outside of marriage. I sheepishly shrugged my shoulders. It didn't even occur to me that my other 15 year old friends would already be interested in sex, or that I was odd for me not having any interest at all. That revelation came a whole 5 years later. I must have really been in denial.. :D

[SilverplatedKeys]

Oh.... and I had another embarrassing one a few months ago. I had told my mother I was coming over for breakfast on Dad's birthday (you can see where this is going...) Unfortunately, I (somewhat characteristically) overslept so I raced over there for lunch. My father was sitting at the kitchen counter and made some joke about "Nice of you to show up." Haha, Dad. Then my mother walks, in her robe with wet hair, obviously just out of the shower. I, of course, see my golden opportunity. "Look at Mom" I protest "She just got up!" Mom looks at me , glances at Dad, then back at me as if debating what to say. She gives me a deprecating look and says "Honestly, you can be so... OBTUSE... sometimes." Wait. What? "Think about it. Today is your father's BIRTHDAY, and you know I didn't have a GIFT for him...." Ugh. Great, Mom, I was happy just thinking laziness was hereditary...

[cap'n shmazz]

i just remember one time at a church group we were asked if we were afraid of or confused by sex. I was just going tobe honest and told them i just didn't want to have it ever. all the girls my age gave me an "are you crazy?" look. I think that was the starting point of me realizing i didn't think the way other girls did, especilally when someone said that a marriage is made stronger by sex because it's a joining of two people and your first time you (tmi?) release some special chemicals and that's why you should wait for marriage.

i was kinda like "ewwww...er....ew." then later "is something wrong with me. I was probably 15 then.

[LiztheNinja]

Some friends and I were watching a bad horror movie, complete with bad sex scene. My bisexual friend crinkles her nose and goes, "oh god, it's so heterosexual!" My immediate reply was, "oh god, it's so sexual!" Seriously, the scene was pretty bad.

[Teagan KGB]

... and your first time you (tmi?) release some special chemicals...

Actually it's every time. If you er.... enjoy yourself. Kinda like if you have a back massage or if you get hurt? Your body makes endorphins to make you feel better or not mind the pain as much. It's a survival (or in the case of sex, reproduction) thing.

[knout]

Some friends and I were watching a bad horror movie, complete with bad sex scene. My bisexual friend crinkles her nose and goes, "oh god, it's so heterosexual!" My immediate reply was, "oh god, it's so sexual!" Seriously, the scene was pretty bad.

Hilarious :lol:

If I may ask a totally ace question, the horror scenes were any better ?

[Guest Nightfire]

I just had one via MSN.

Went something like this:

Friend: I can't be fucked doing my eyebrows.

Me: Then remain hairy.

Friend: No!

Friend 2: [mentions something about werewolves]

Friend: Allison, she likes werewolves.

Me: So? What's your point?

Friend: ... If [other friend] was here, she would get it.

Me: OH O.O

Friend: LMAO N00B!

:lol:

[LiztheNinja]

Some friends and I were watching a bad horror movie, complete with bad sex scene. My bisexual friend crinkles her nose and goes, "oh god, it's so heterosexual!" My immediate reply was, "oh god, it's so sexual!" Seriously, the scene was pretty bad.

Hilarious :lol:

If I may ask a totally ace question, the horror scenes were any better ?

Haha, not at all, that's why we were watching it. I can't watch actually scary horror movies.

[Wakarimasen????]

I said people look better with their clothes on nakedness is unattractive!!! But everyone who doesn't know already thinks ima freak and my friends just say typical Panda, & the whole i could die a virgin and be completely happy! but same effect to that cause.

[Trini]

I said people look better with their clothes on nakedness is unattractive!!! But everyone who doesn't know already thinks ima freak and my friends just say typical Panda, & the whole i could die a virgin and be completely happy! but same effect to that cause.

I remember thinking that same thing once. But I've never said it out loud. lol Nudity is just such a turn-off.

I had an ace moment today. An old close family friend that I love like a brother came to visit. Well we were all reminiscing about the old days and he brought up the one boyfriend I had (the only relationship I've ever been in). My little sister teased me about kissing him. I grimaced at the rememberance and said nothing. It was from before I realized my asexuality. Kissing was really unappealing to me and I thought something was wrong with me back then! So the friend tells me I should never kiss boys and, ya know, stuff that protective older brothers say. And I expressed my disinterest in kissing anyone. I imagine he thought I was joking since the sarcastic atmosphere had already been set. But I gave a knowing look to my brother who sat behind me, as he is the only person I have told about my asexuality.

[Kimmy]

Nudity is just such a turn-off.

Okay, this might sound silly, but does anybody else feel like looking at a guy shirtless is about as appealing (or lack thereof) as looking at a woman shirtless? I don't know, the other day I was looking at a picture of a shirtless guy and I was like, "Ick." To me they're still boobs, just flatter! So I'd rather not see them just as much as I'd rather not see women's boobs, which are more considered as nudity. Yeah, male ones are exposed more often so I'm more desensitized to it, but still...cover up, dudes. (j/k)

[Shuusui]

Today I sat through several long, painfully innuendo-filled moments of conversation before realizing that the new piercing the guys were referring to on the guy in front of me was on his...that. And then spent the next several moments wondering why the hell anyone would get that pierced, and then tell people about it. I know I can't be the only one...

[Cerebrum]

Today I sat through several long, painfully innuendo-filled moments of conversation before realizing that the new piercing the guys were referring to on the guy in front of me was on his...that. And then spent the next several moments wondering why the hell anyone would get that pierced, and then tell people about it. I know I can't be the only one...

Off on a bit of a tangent, some guy got a Darwin Award for getting a ring stuck on his penis, which then had to be surgically removed, thus taking him out of the gene pool.

[Kathlyn]

well I get most of the sex jokes. but what I've never really gotten is some of the guys that girls in my class found attractive (but then for me it's not sexual, just artistic or something). I can judge it, and they were not the most attractive guys . some were butt ugly to me. and they were like how can you not find him attractive. also once when I was in gr.2 I was asked by my brother who I had a crush on and I over elaborated and named 5 guys in my class (I think I didn't really get it back then) over ten year later it still get brought up (doesn't help that my brother is now best friends with one of them)

[mad_scientist]

indeed.

When I finally first grasped that yes, some people actually do want to have sex, I figured it would be once every two weeks, or maybe twice a month. After all, weeks can just speed by and something like that, I figured, had to be worked up to, especially considering how sweaty people seemed to get doing it. (Why would you want to get sweaty 5-7 times a week? That's the part I find hardest to understand.) When I first heard people talking about having sex daily (this was before I knew I was asexual) I went "Wtf?" To this day it shocks me. For instance, even though I should have gotten used to it by now, this girl in the dorm next to mine has a guy over every night. And it surprises me every time I hear them going at it. (They don't even try to be quiet.)

People have sex every night?! That must be exhausting! What about, um, chafing?

[Inevitable]

Ok, it's not mine, and technically it's fictional, but it's still brilliant:

http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/290 (they are Cale and Benny)

And then this one...

http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/291

[mad_scientist]

Ok, it's not mine, and technically it's fictional, but it's still brilliant:

http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/290 (they are Cale and Benny)

And then this one...

http://www.lfgcomic.com/page/291

lfg is pretty cool. It's no Sluggy Freelance, but still.

[Bero]

So I'm not a huge fan of the whole communal bathroom thing in my dorm. Girls will go to and from the showers wearing at least a robe, though most of the time fully dressed. I have yet to see a guy, however, returning from the shower in anything more than a towel. I was complaining about this to a friend and about how I wanted to yell at them to put on a shirt or at least some pants (US "pants," not UK "pants," though that would be nice, too). It was only when she said: "Seriously, I don't know anyone as asexual as you!" that I realized that maybe most girls in my dorm wouldn't mind all the guys walking around like that...

Funnily, that friend has been jokingly calling me "asexual" for years, but doesn't know that I'm ace--don't think she knows it's a real orientation.

[you*hear*but*do*you*listen]

I had one a little while ago in the dining hall. One of my friends had done a messy job of getting hot cocoa out of the machine (there's a convenient hot cocoa machine in my dorm's dining hall) and was licking the sides of the mug to get off the excess cocoa. A few of my friends made comments such as "that's obscene," and I--confused--asked why. I thought they were implying it was unsanitary, because she was licking the mug in a completely not lascivious manner. One of my friends said to me, "You don't want to know," confirming that what she was doing looked sexual to the people who had commented. I said, "That's ridiculous." I mean, come on--you can't give a cocoa mug a blowjob.

[Shuusui]

Today I sat through several long, painfully innuendo-filled moments of conversation before realizing that the new piercing the guys were referring to on the guy in front of me was on his...that. And then spent the next several moments wondering why the hell anyone would get that pierced, and then tell people about it. I know I can't be the only one...

Off on a bit of a tangent, some guy got a Darwin Award for getting a ring stuck on his penis, which then had to be surgically removed, thus taking him out of the gene pool.

xD