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Worst responses to your asexuality


henrik

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[quote name='a_bi_sexual' date='Sep 20 2009, 11:39 AM' post='1375175'

Is it sad that I found this hysterically funny. Also, something I might do........................... :rolleyes: :twisted:

lol no while i dont agree with violence have to admit that it was fairly funny (like instant karma or something) as did all my friends, family and the police officer that handeled my case (thank you sergant Graham!!!!) child service/lawyer/upstuck bussiness lady person not so much but you know how it goes....

she can go screw her self

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Well, I had been attempting to tell one of my best friends (now ex-best friend) for a couple of months about how I'm asexual. So I set down my human sexuality book and show my friend the super small paragraph on asexuality. She reads it looks at me and says, "You are not asexual."

Thanks for telling me my sexual orientation because I obviously don't know. :angry:

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The worst response would have been from by dad.

Dad: Asexual? Is that like not sexual?

Me: Yeah, pretty much.

Dad: I see...

((When he says "I see" head for the hills!!!))

*day before I go to see my psychiatrist*

Dad: You should tell Dr ______ about this asexuality thing.

Me: ... Why?

Dad: You just should. *enter in implication that I'm abnormal and broken*

*at psychiatrist*

Dad: You should tell him about this asexual thing.

Me: ... *getting pissed* WHY?

Dad: You just should. It's something he needs to know.

Me: No. I do not need to talk to him about it. There is NO problem. We are here to discuss my social anxiety, NOT my asexuality. If I came out as a lesbian you wouldn't be doing this!

((Bringing up homosexuality was a bad move on my part. Dad puts homosexuals on the same level as child molesters!))

Dad: *says something about how I'm going to fail at life, fail at everything I do, I'm going to have no successful romantic relationships and all my friendships are going to fail*

My psychiatrist then got my parents to leave the room and this happened:

Dr: So, what is this asexuality your dad was talking about?

Me: Asexuality is when one doesn't experience sexual attraction.

Dr: *not understanding* You're not attracted to boys?

Me: No.

Dr: So you like girls then?

Me: No. I am not attracted to boys OR girls.

Dr: Oh. *understands* Does it bother you?

Me: No.

Dr: Do you think it will ever bother you?

Me: No...

Dr: Okay. Go get your parents to come in now.

+10 for my psychiatrist, -100 for my dad.

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"Oh my God! How can you say that? If you would just get over your sex thing, you would be such a fun lover!"

Tell him he has a serious condition & that " an operation" should fix it.

That should shut him up.

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"*wide eyed* You can reproduce asexually?"

...Yes. Yes I can.

That would be pretty awesome though.

And if they'd hurry up and legalise human cloning, we might get a shot at it.

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This happened exactly 42 days ago

He who shall not be named "Haha dude your fucking broken, your mum should get a refund"...

Hit im in the head with a barstool... 3 times

Yeah, now who's broken, huh? :twisted:

Not that I advocate violence :ph34r:

At least the guy probably knows now not to be so loud-mouthed and insensitive. And not to utter the 'broken' word in front of asexuals.

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"Maybe you'll somehow find another person that floats your boat!" (Because two people in the history of my life have :wacko: )

"You just have inhibitions."

Uhhhh... No.

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It's always the same. I got nearly all of these answers from my familiy and friends.

Some days ago my mother told me the usual thing.

"You are just ashamed of not having had sex yet. So you protect yourself with that asexuality thing."

:redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: I am sooooooo ashamed.

I will meet a female friend I havent seen for years tomorrow. I plan to tell her. I'm curios bout her answer.

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Cadmium Poisoning

Dance Macabre, your shrink is awesome (sorry about your dad though).

When I told my shrink she didn't let it go that easily, but wanted to discuss some things about my parents' divorce - YES, my folks got a divorce when I was four. OBVIOUSLY this ace thing is just a RESPONSE TO THE TRAUMA, and I also MUST have a crappy relationship with my dad because THAT'S WHAT kids from broken homes ALWAYS DO, and now I MUST HATE all males of the world in general, which IS WHY I insist on being asexual because I dun wanna deal with them. OBVIOUSLY. (My relationship with my dad only turned crappy when I turned 17, so no childhood trauma there. Also, I don't hate guys)

Well, it wasn't that bad back then, she just wanted me to think it really carefully. My mom said the exact same things, though, so I find it annoying.

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After I expressed my asexuality on Yahoo! Answers, one poster gave me a "You're just frustrated because you can't get any" answer (to paraphrase it). I felt awful after reading that comment because I don't want to feel like I'm obligated to have sex. Identifying as asexual is my haven from all of that.

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I think I had the worst one so far yesterday. I was in a club, talking to some lady who I had just met, and quickly after me revealing and explaining my asexuality so she wouldn't get the wrong idea, she says "well, there must be something that turns you on" and starts groping me. All the cool replies that come to me now... but as usual, nothing came out, so I just ended up sitting there, wondering what's going on for a moment, and then removing her hand and leaving the scene. I would recommend she becomes a nun for a while, but she would be the worst nun in the world since she would try to sex up anyone who claims to feel no sexual attraction.

Eh, you're lucky that was all she did. When I was 15 I had this one girl who continuously made sexual advances at me. Why? To see how I would react to it, so she could tell her friends stories about me behind my back. This most likely had to do with my asperger's syndrome. From my experience, aspies are some of the most frequent victims of sexual bullying and harassment. The worst thing that can happen is if you fall for it (which I didn't in this case but many aspies might) and actually believe that the person has a romantic interest in you. This usually leads to them leading you on and then deliberately humiliating you for it.

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When I came out to my dad, he didn't say anything for the longest time. So I said, "Are you okay?" and he said, "I'm fine. I'd be upset if you told me you were a nymphomaniac." Which is kind of okay because he's accepting who I am. But it's also not okay, because he's only accepting me because he likes the idea that I'm definitely not going to have lots of sex with lots of people.

When I came out to my mom, she didn't really get it it. So I tried explaining it further. I figured she understood when she started telling me that my grandmother never had sex again after her divorce, and that she said she didn't really miss it. I thought she was telling me my grandmother might have also been asexual. But a few months later we were talking about asexuality and I said something about myself, and she got confused. I said, "Remember? I'm asexual. I told you a couple of months ago." She said, "Oh! I thought you meant you just weren't going to have sex for a while."

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I think I had the worst one so far yesterday. I was in a club, talking to some lady who I had just met, and quickly after me revealing and explaining my asexuality so she wouldn't get the wrong idea, she says "well, there must be something that turns you on" and starts groping me. All the cool replies that come to me now... but as usual, nothing came out, so I just ended up sitting there, wondering what's going on for a moment, and then removing her hand and leaving the scene. I would recommend she becomes a nun for a while, but she would be the worst nun in the world since she would try to sex up anyone who claims to feel no sexual attraction.

You're lucky that's all she did. When I was in ninth grade I had this one girl who continuously made sexual advances toward me. Why? To see how I would react so she could tell her friends stories about me behind my back. This probably has to do with my asperger's syndrome. From my experience, aspies are among the most common victims of sexual bullying and harassment. The worst thing that can happen is if you actually fall for it (I didn't in this case, but some aspies might) and allow yourself to be manipulated into believing that that person has a romantic interest in you. This invariably leads to them leading you on and deliberately humiliating you in the end.

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"I get the feeling you're really severely repressed... but you like it for some reason."

Seriously, you can't repress something that isn't there to begin with <_<

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*at psychiatrist*

Dad: You should tell him about this asexual thing.

Me: ... *getting pissed* WHY?

Dad: You just should. It's something he needs to know.

Me: No. I do not need to talk to him about it. There is NO problem. We are here to discuss my social anxiety, NOT my asexuality. If I came out as a lesbian you wouldn't be doing this!

((Bringing up homosexuality was a bad move on my part. Dad puts homosexuals on the same level as child molesters!))

Dad: *says something about how I'm going to fail at life, fail at everything I do, I'm going to have no successful romantic relationships and all my friendships are going to fail*

My psychiatrist then got my parents to leave the room and this happened:

Dr: So, what is this asexuality your dad was talking about?

Me: Asexuality is when one doesn't experience sexual attraction.

Dr: *not understanding* You're not attracted to boys?

Me: No.

Dr: So you like girls then?

Me: No. I am not attracted to boys OR girls.

Dr: Oh. *understands* Does it bother you?

Me: No.

Dr: Do you think it will ever bother you?

Me: No...

Dr: Okay. Go get your parents to come in now.

+10 for my psychiatrist, -100 for my dad.

Did your psychiatrist really not know? Or was he just testing your response? Because he wouldn't be much of a shrink if he didn't know what an asexual was.

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If you look hard enough through my posts on AVEN, you'll find a conversation a had with my friend. I basically came out to him. And he reacted badly, I blew up on him, etc...

He basically said that asexuality was against nature. And that it's preposterous.

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I haven't come out to anyone (no reason to as of yet) but I remember being, oh, thirteen, fourteen...I told my mom that I probably didn't ever want to have kids. Note the "probably;" while I've been pretty sure about this since I was a child I've also never been one to close my mind to possibilities. My mom gave me the "you're too young to decide that" line. Now, being thirteen is pretty young, but what really frustrates me is that a parent says that to their child. That's not a way to encourage someone to keep an open mind for the future, that's a complete disregard for a kid's feelings :(

That being said, my parents are pretty open minded, and I have a feeling they may already suspect some of the truth.

I'm going to wear my AVEN shirt around campus on AVED...might get some interesting responses then >.>

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Guest Nightfire

I've had a few weird responses.

They be:

Me "I'm asexual"

Person "O_o That's...awkward..."

Me "Does that make me weird?"

Person "Yes >_>"

That hurt, actually :(

Another:

Me "I'm an asexual"

Person "You are not an asexual >.<"

:lol:

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Did your psychiatrist really not know? Or was he just testing your response? Because he wouldn't be much of a shrink if he didn't know what an asexual was.

I'm not entirely sure. I don't think he knew what asexuality was, he looked and sounded pretty confused.

Either way, I don't think much of him as a shrink.

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i just hate it when you try to tell someone you trust, like a friend, and make a big deal doing so because it's important to you...but all you get is a weird look.

i thought i would bring it up because i heard her mention that another friend of mine was asexual. she just gave me a funny look. apparently she was joking.

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Dance Macabre, your shrink is awesome (sorry about your dad though).

When I told my shrink she didn't let it go that easily, but wanted to discuss some things about my parents' divorce - YES, my folks got a divorce when I was four. OBVIOUSLY this ace thing is just a RESPONSE TO THE TRAUMA, and I also MUST have a crappy relationship with my dad because THAT'S WHAT kids from broken homes ALWAYS DO, and now I MUST HATE all males of the world in general, which IS WHY I insist on being asexual because I dun wanna deal with them. OBVIOUSLY. (My relationship with my dad only turned crappy when I turned 17, so no childhood trauma there. Also, I don't hate guys)

Well, it wasn't that bad back then, she just wanted me to think it really carefully. My mom said the exact same things, though, so I find it annoying.

I just read your post, and then I looked at your avatar.

It's funny how Rena( It's Rena, right? ) is your avatar, when she became such a psychopath after her parents’ divorce, and your post is about it not affecting you. :P

Back on topic: Your shrink is really bad for making assumptions like that, especially when you clearly disagree so much.

I personally haven't had any 'bad' responses, but I've only talked about it with one person so far.

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If this has been discussed before, but I just yesterday got so amazingly stupid comment about my asexuality that I started to think if you've heard as immortal words as those spoken by an unnamed individual:

"I've had so much sex last weekend that I feel pretty asexual myself right now."

:?

Riiiiiiight?

Worst comment towards Aseuxality I ever heard was 'Them Asexuals need to get laid'

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friend: "Oh you just need to have sex, then you will relize you like it"

me: "I have had sex"

friend: "then you arent asexual... he must have been bad! go try again"

"You don't find people attractive? That isn't true! You said that one guy was hott, so you are lieing now."

(I did say the guy was hott... wanted to blend in, now that I am out I don't 'have' to do that anymore)

"You just haven't had enough sex"

"You just are in a rut/dry spell"

Friend: "That is because you are on birth control"

Me: "No. Been off it for a while...."

Friend: "Well it just hasnt worn off yet"

"You just want to be different and get attention"

"Is that what you are deciding now? Trying to fit in with the LGBT community, huh?"

"Totally, jump on the ban wagon! Stick it to the man! ... I'm gay" (sarcastic)

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I told a couple of my friends that I was asexual and they went:

"Your dad must've raped you when you were little!" O_O

hahaha

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I haven't really come out to anyone as asexual besides in a class discussion yet, but a few years ago when I was telling my older sister about my confusion after seeing that I really wasn't really sexually attracted to guys, she gave me the "You just haven't found the right one" line. <_< And the reassuring, "No, you like guys."

Same thing with my mom, she doesn't know, but every now and then I bring up the possibility that maybe I really just won't have marriage or kids in my future, and she gets SO irritated. More needing to find the right one stuff. And "just keep your options open." She's just so fussy about me not wanting to do things to "look pretty" or, gasp, being rather content with my single status and not trying to flirt with guys all the time. Kind of gets under my skin.

Gosh, this is exactly why I haven't told them yet. Because we've already had the conversation, we'll just have it again when I do tell. Except for it'll probably be more intense. I'm so glad to read the sarcastic retorts on this thread, though. It's good to know I'll have an arsenal. :D

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from my mother:

"i believe there are asexual people, but i do not believe that you are one."

I got something similar to that.

I never really got "bad" reactions. Just the kind of "right person/too young to use that label/should experiment" kind of replies.

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