R_1 Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 For example, here's one. What is asexual according to a botanist? Link to post Share on other sites
Shortass Lady Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 For example, here's one. What is asexual according to a botanist? A plant that would prefer cake to fertiliser? Here's one: How many asexuals does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they won't screw anything! Link to post Share on other sites
Azamiko Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Hahah! I suck at thinking up jokes... Link to post Share on other sites
tunasupreme Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Why are asexuals bad at mathematics? They don't multiply. Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Hahah! I suck at thinking up jokes... Same here. Link to post Share on other sites
DreadfulStar Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Why are asexuals bad at mathematics? They don't multiply. That's the opposite of the 'how is sex like math' joke in a way. I wish I could think of jokes. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Even I know these are bad. Link to post Share on other sites
geezA Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 What's so great about dating an asexual? When they invite you back for coffee, you actually get coffee! Can't remember if that's mine or if I read it somewhere... Link to post Share on other sites
Qutenkuddly Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 What do you get if you give an asexual a pack of condoms? A lot of expensive balloons. (Meh. Okay, I tried.) Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 What do you get if you give an asexual a pack of condoms? A lot of expensive balloons. (Meh. Okay, I tried.) :lol: what do asexuals like best about sex movies? The popcorn. *that was extremely unfunny* Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I pulled this one from my status report, so I am cheating. :) How many Asexuals does it take to change a light bulb? Quite a few actually, one to change it, and the rest to put labels on the ones that didn't fit! Link to post Share on other sites
Qutenkuddly Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 ^ :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 What is the definition of Asexual Pornography? Looking at pictures of unbaked cakes!!! Why do Asexuals keep getting lost? Because their compasses lack magnetic attraction! Why do some Asexuals enjoy hanging around super-markets? Because they like being surrounded by labels! Link to post Share on other sites
Qutenkuddly Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Ya know, it's tough to make a good asexual joke... :P Link to post Share on other sites
AceOfAwesome Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I can't remember who posted this first, so full credit goes to who-ever-you-are... What's the difference between an asexual and a mobile phone? A mobile phone can be turned on Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Why don't Asexuals enter running competitions? Because they don't know when they've crossed the line! What is the definition of an Asexual orgy? A cookery class! Link to post Share on other sites
Beachwalker Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Why don't Asexuals enter running competitions? Because they don't know when they've crossed the line! What is the definition of an Asexual orgy? A cookery class! :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Make Cake Not War! or probably better: Make Cakes Not Love Asexuals know how to make it last........................................ of their list of enjoyable activities! Link to post Share on other sites
Eci Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Why don't Asexuals enter running competitions? Because they don't know when they've crossed the line! What is the definition of an Asexual orgy? A cookery class! :lol: I'm so getting that last one on a t-shirt! Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 HOT NEWS! Straight off the press, scientists have today announced the results of their comparison between a dissected Sexual brain and a dissected Asexual brain, they found that the Sexual brain was surrounded by an Ocipital Cerebral Linings, whereas the Asexual brain was is in a Cupcake Wrapper! Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What's so great about dating an asexual? When they invite you back for coffee, you actually get coffee! Can't remember if that's mine or if I read it somewhere... Now, that's a good one. Link to post Share on other sites
emberwing Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 How many asexuals does it take to screw a lightbulb? It doesn't matter how many you have, they aren't interested in screwing anything! Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Why do asexuals tend to be more astute? They don't like being taken for a ride! What is the favourite Asexual chat up line? Pssst, wanna see my cake recipe? Link to post Share on other sites
DracoBorealis Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 What do you get if you give an asexual a pack of condoms? A lot of expensive balloons. (Meh. Okay, I tried.) You know, when I was working at a local rock event about a week ago (doing my volunteer work for the FRC), I had packs of condoms that I would hand out to people if they ask for them. But when I got bored, I started making balloon dogs from them One dude even asked if he may take one of the dogs home to his daughter. I said yes :P What happens if you tell an asexual you want to sleep with them? They hand you a blanket. How does an asexual flirt? They show you their recipe book. (yes, I do suck... popsicles) Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 You know, when I was working at a local rock event about a week ago (doing my volunteer work for the FRC), I had packs of condoms that I would hand out to people if they ask for them. But when I got bored, I started making balloon dogs from them One dude even asked if he may take one of the dogs home to his daughter. I said yes :P That tickled me, it reminded me of my mischievous side, tee hee. Link to post Share on other sites
DracoBorealis Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 You know, when I was working at a local rock event about a week ago (doing my volunteer work for the FRC), I had packs of condoms that I would hand out to people if they ask for them. But when I got bored, I started making balloon dogs from them One dude even asked if he may take one of the dogs home to his daughter. I said yes :P That tickled me, it reminded me of my mischievous side, tee hee. Tickling is good, as long as someone does not literally tickle you so that they hold you down and cover your mouth while doing that. My brother used to do that to me when I was a kid, and it made me downright crazy! When I was little I had very tickly sides and back, and my big bro knew it ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 You know, when I was working at a local rock event about a week ago (doing my volunteer work for the FRC), I had packs of condoms that I would hand out to people if they ask for them. But when I got bored, I started making balloon dogs from them One dude even asked if he may take one of the dogs home to his daughter. I said yes :P That tickled me, it reminded me of my mischievous side, tee hee. Tickling is good, as long as someone does not literally tickle you so that they hold you down and cover your mouth while doing that. My brother used to do that to me when I was a kid, and it made me downright crazy! When I was little I had very tickly sides and back, and my big bro knew it ^_^ Oh my, that is truly awful, I go squiggly crazy when I am ticked, kick out and everything, I can't stand it, poor you. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir Robbins Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 What is the definition of Asexual Pornography? Looking at pictures of unbaked cakes!!! Why do Asexuals keep getting lost? Because their compasses lack magnetic attraction! Why do some Asexuals enjoy hanging around super-markets? Because they like being surrounded by labels! I laughed at all of those! Link to post Share on other sites
Cakey Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Another name for a 300 page Hindu recipe? Asexual Karma-Sutra! And the ingredients for an Asexual Novel are? Link to post Share on other sites
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