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I was propositioned tonight


johnsmcjohn

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So I'm getting a lid for my drink when out of nowhere, a woman approaches me and starts making idle conversation. Then she asks me "would you like some company tonight?" Now, I haven't been propositioned like that since high school so the first reaction I have is she must be a hooker. But presuming she was, why is she at this dumpster casino in the middle of the night? Then I realize how drunk she is. And I understand what's actually going on. She's so wasted, she's acting out of character(or maybe she's actually a slut and the liquor brings it out). In other words, she's not a hooker, she's a drunkstitute.

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Haha. A drunkstitute or you can say a drulut. Hmm on second thought let's just go with drunkstitute.

Somehow drunkstitute makes me think "drunk"+"institute" instead.....I guess that would basically be college.

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Ewww, so dirty. I probably would have run the other way screaming. But that's mainly because I tend to get a bit silly when I'm very tired, so I would have automatically made assumptions about vampires and the such.

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dreamer_marie

So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

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So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

What would you have done?

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So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

I thought the whole point of being drunk was to be made fun of?

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So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

This.

I thought the whole point of being drunk was to be made fun of?

Shockingly, no. I'm slightly of the persuasion that people who drink enough to get drunk - especially alone, as is possibly the case here - it's a cry for help of some sort. I mean the whole "completely lose control" drunk, not the "whee, fun, I have no inhibitions, but am not making a total ass of myself" drunk.

Perhaps she was actually a hooker. Perhaps she wasn't. Why was she at some lousy casino? Eh, would you rather find her at your local supermarket or McDonald's? Casino seems like a better fit, to me. She needs to make her money, or she's a sad lonely drunk who wanted some company, or something. Put yourself in her shoes.

I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable about it, but I honestly don't think many people would be comfortable with it. Asexual or not.

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So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

I was completely respectful of her in the moment(I simply told her I wasn't interested without mocking her or being mean and left) and I thought AVEN might enjoy reading about an experience that as I'd said hadn't happened since the Clinton administration. Also, I didn't reveal any personal info about her. It's not like you can backtrace where I was, find her and tell her what I've posted. What should I have done, slept with her out of pity? Seriously, you need to lighten up.

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When I went to Las Vegas this also happend to me. I was at a slot machine and a woman cam up and asked if I felt lucky and I said no and she just turned the other way. lol

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The same thing has happened to me a couple of times before, and I handled it well each time. To be honest, I thought your particular story was rather funny. Drunkstitute - I love it! :lol:

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Guest member25959

Drunkstitute? lol, first time I've heard that one.

It could have been many things. Maybe she was just drunk, well, we've established that she was, but alcohol is know to have such effects on people, so why does this behavior automatically make her a slut? Or a 'drunkstitute'?

Have you spoken or met with her while she's sober? She may turn out to be a completely different person.

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Drunkstitute? lol, first time I've heard that one.

It could have been many things. Maybe she was just drunk, well, we've established that she was, but alcohol is know to have such effects on people, so why does this behavior automatically make her a slut? Or a 'drunkstitute'?

Have you spoken or met with her while she's sober? She may turn out to be a completely different person.

As I understand it, a person(they need not be female, it just so happens in my case she was) who propositions someone they've known for less than 5 minutes is likely a slut. I mentioned that she was quite drunk and due to that I came to the conclusion that it was likely she was acting that way as a result of the liquor rather than any lack of sexual disipline. Just as a prostitute will have sex with virtually anyone with enough money, she was apparently willing to give anyone who wanted some a free ride. Which is why she was a drunkstitute. Since she was in the casino, I will likely never see her again and even if I do, odds are she won't remember me. Too bad because she seemed like a nice enough person in the short time I spoke to her.

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Great Thief Yatagarasu

So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

What would you have done?

Been respectful and handled the situation in a polite, mature fashion? Maybe?

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Great Thief Yatagarasu

So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

I was completely respectful of her in the moment(I simply told her I wasn't interested without mocking her or being mean and left) and I thought AVEN might enjoy reading about an experience that as I'd said hadn't happened since the Clinton administration. Also, I didn't reveal any personal info about her. It's not like you can backtrace where I was, find her and tell her what I've posted. What should I have done, slept with her out of pity? Seriously, you need to lighten up.

True enough, but you've been making a lot of awkward assumptions here. With some people, when they're drunk, they have no idea what the hell they're doing - so your label of "drunkstitute" is actually kinda offensive. And a woman wants sex - so what? She can do that if she wants. For you to compare her to a prostitute and make fun of her for THAT is kinda harsh.

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So I'm getting a lid for my drink when out of nowhere, a woman approaches me and starts making idle conversation. Then she asks me "would you like some company tonight?" Now, I haven't been propositioned like that since high school so the first reaction I have is she must be a hooker. But presuming she was, why is she at this dumpster casino in the middle of the night? Then I realize how drunk she is. And I understand what's actually going on. She's so wasted, she's acting out of character(or maybe she's actually a slut and the liquor brings it out). In other words, she's not a hooker, she's a drunkstitute.

Very, very in the middle of the night scarey, I guess you can at least say you still got it. LoL. :D

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Oh look, it's slut-shaming.

Basically, what some other people already said: there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting sex, whether she's had a few drinks or not. Using the word "slut" in this fashion is not okay, and you can keep your sexist language. Also, sex workers aren't the scum of the earth - they're people.

I'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable with the situation, but it does not sound to me like the woman in question was violating any boundaries - but even if she was deliberately being annoying in some way, that's not reason to insult other women and sex workers, which is exactly what you did by wording your rant the way you did.

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W4yland Sm1th33

Oh look, it's slut-shaming.

Basically, what some other people already said: there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting sex, whether she's had a few drinks or not. Using the word "slut" in this fashion is not okay, and you can keep your sexist language. Also, sex workers aren't the scum of the earth - they're people.

I'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable with the situation, but it does not sound to me like the woman in question was violating any boundaries - but even if she was deliberately being annoying in some way, that's not reason to insult other women and sex workers, which is exactly what you did in wording your rant the way you did.

I wish I'd had the guts to say this the first time I read the thread, instead of just walking away feeling v v uncomfortable.

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I wish I'd had the guts to say this the first time I read the thread, instead of just walking away feeling v v uncomfortable.

Ouch, I hope you feel better now. It can be really hard to speak up about certain issues - I have that problem in real life more than on the net, but I know it's often a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of situation.

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dreamer_marie

So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

I was completely respectful of her in the moment(I simply told her I wasn't interested without mocking her or being mean and left) and I thought AVEN might enjoy reading about an experience that as I'd said hadn't happened since the Clinton administration. Also, I didn't reveal any personal info about her. It's not like you can backtrace where I was, find her and tell her what I've posted. What should I have done, slept with her out of pity? Seriously, you need to lighten up.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't care one bit for what happened to you in any administration, and I find your story very boring and disappointing, especially considering the title. As a woman I really don't care to read the word "slut" used on anyone. She just propositioned you, and left you alone when you refused. She didn't violate any boundaries, and I pity the people who think she was scary - Halloween must be a horrible experience for you.

Quite frankly, I've rarely seen anyone overreact like you're doing on this thread. You're arguing with straw men and telling people who call you on your misogyny to "lighten up." Clearly, you need to step away from the computer and take a deep breath, because you're being irrational.

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So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

I was completely respectful of her in the moment(I simply told her I wasn't interested without mocking her or being mean and left) and I thought AVEN might enjoy reading about an experience that as I'd said hadn't happened since the Clinton administration. Also, I didn't reveal any personal info about her. It's not like you can backtrace where I was, find her and tell her what I've posted. What should I have done, slept with her out of pity? Seriously, you need to lighten up.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't care one bit for what happened to you in any administration, and I find your story very boring and disappointing, especially considering the title. As a woman I really don't care to read the word "slut" used on anyone. She just propositioned you, and left you alone when you refused. She didn't violate any boundaries, and I pity the people who think she was scary - Halloween must be a horrible experience for you.

Quite frankly, I've rarely seen anyone overreact like you're doing on this thread. You're arguing with straw men and telling people who call you on your misogyny to "lighten up." Clearly, you need to step away from the computer and take a deep breath, because you're being irrational.

So this pretty much boils down that, he should have never shared this interaction? And shared something that he thought was odd that happened to him? If the next time he thinks something is a funny interaction, think long and hard if the idea of that person doing anything was sexist?

When I first read this post, I didn't think of it as slut shaming. This thing has happened to my friends, who are sexuals, who also would find something like this funny. Just because we are asexuals doesn't mean that we can't speculate that this person was a prostitute. I don't personally look down on prostitutes, it is the world's oldest profession for a reason. And the line "Do you want some company tonight." is a classic line thought to be used by prostitutes! So you can't blame anyone for thinking, "prostitute".

And most people think that drunk people are funny. Male drunks, female drunks, short drunks, tall drunks. Just because someone is drunk does not mean that they are an alcoholic, it just means that they could have been partying with her friends, and she saw him based on the prodding from her friends and stumbled on over and just happened to use a line that was classically used by prostitutes. Who knows? Her friends could be laughing about this exact thing right now.

In the end if she had not used the classic "Want some company tonight?" line, no one would have thought of the word prostitute, just a drunk girl. No one was using that word just because she wanted sex. If she had said, "You're so hot. Wanna party?" No one would have said the word "prostitute".

Also, in this retort, I didn't think that he over reacted at all. He was explaining his frame of mind when he posted this situation. I am a girl and I thought that this was funny. My friends have had drunks guys come up to them and proposition them, and we have laughed about it he next day. I don't see a difference in this situation? What women can't be laughed at either even if they do something that women would laugh at men about? It seems like a double standard.

If all of the gender roles in this story would be reversed, I doubt that you would have given a second thought about this situation.

So I agree with the original poster and I would feel so horrible that people would accuse me of slut shaming and misogyny. I have worked with guys, that other girls have claimed to be misogynists, and in the end they turned out to be alright guys and definitely NOT misogynists. Just because they happen to disagree with one or two girls does not make them a misogynist. Just because think that the behavior, of someone who just happens to be a girl, is odd does not make them a misogynist. You would have to see a clear behavior over a longer time to use that word.

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there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting sex,

That's not really the issue here. There IS something wrong with propositioning random people you don't know at all. You're likely making them uncomfortable with your unwarranted advances, and you're putting yourself at risk.

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Great Thief Yatagarasu

So a woman expresses sexual interest in you when she's in an intoxicated state and your reaction is to insult her for it on an internet forum? That's incredibly classy of you.

I was completely respectful of her in the moment(I simply told her I wasn't interested without mocking her or being mean and left) and I thought AVEN might enjoy reading about an experience that as I'd said hadn't happened since the Clinton administration. Also, I didn't reveal any personal info about her. It's not like you can backtrace where I was, find her and tell her what I've posted. What should I have done, slept with her out of pity? Seriously, you need to lighten up.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't care one bit for what happened to you in any administration, and I find your story very boring and disappointing, especially considering the title. As a woman I really don't care to read the word "slut" used on anyone. She just propositioned you, and left you alone when you refused. She didn't violate any boundaries, and I pity the people who think she was scary - Halloween must be a horrible experience for you.

Quite frankly, I've rarely seen anyone overreact like you're doing on this thread. You're arguing with straw men and telling people who call you on your misogyny to "lighten up." Clearly, you need to step away from the computer and take a deep breath, because you're being irrational.

So this pretty much boils down that, he should have never shared this interaction? And shared something that he thought was odd that happened to him? If the next time he thinks something is a funny interaction, think long and hard if the idea of that person doing anything was sexist?

When I first read this post, I didn't think of it as slut shaming. This thing has happened to my friends, who are sexuals, who also would find something like this funny. Just because we are asexuals doesn't mean that we can't speculate that this person was a prostitute. I don't personally look down on prostitutes, it is the world's oldest profession for a reason. And the line "Do you want some company tonight." is a classic line thought to be used by prostitutes! So you can't blame anyone for thinking, "prostitute".

And most people think that drunk people are funny. Male drunks, female drunks, short drunks, tall drunks. Just because someone is drunk does not mean that they are an alcoholic, it just means that they could have been partying with her friends, and she saw him based on the prodding from her friends and stumbled on over and just happened to use a line that was classically used by prostitutes. Who knows? Her friends could be laughing about this exact thing right now.

In the end if she had not used the classic "Want some company tonight?" line, no one would have thought of the word prostitute, just a drunk girl. No one was using that word just because she wanted sex. If she had said, "You're so hot. Wanna party?" No one would have said the word "prostitute".

Also, in this retort, I didn't think that he over reacted at all. He was explaining his frame of mind when he posted this situation. I am a girl and I thought that this was funny. My friends have had drunks guys come up to them and proposition them, and we have laughed about it he next day. I don't see a difference in this situation? What women can't be laughed at either even if they do something that women would laugh at men about? It seems like a double standard.

If all of the gender roles in this story would be reversed, I doubt that you would have given a second thought about this situation.

So I agree with the original poster and I would feel so horrible that people would accuse me of slut shaming and misogyny. I have worked with guys, that other girls have claimed to be misogynists, and in the end they turned out to be alright guys and definitely NOT misogynists. Just because they happen to disagree with one or two girls does not make them a misogynist. Just because think that the behavior, of someone who just happens to be a girl, is odd does not make them a misogynist. You would have to see a clear behavior over a longer time to use that word.

It's misogynistic because the overall mood is "Wow, let's laugh at this SLUT who was just so shameless and SLUTTY - almost like a PROSTITUTE, because we all know that being a prostitute is the worst occupation ever - that she deserves to be laughed at and belittled! I know, let's make up a name for her - drunkstitute sounds like a good one!"

He could share it if he likes - but it's quite the unexceptional story, considering that people hit on other people all the time, and in a variety of ways, and his attitude towards it has been so completely disrespectful. It might be ODD behaviour, and it might be funny to some people, but the number of people who are chiming in with "Yeah, what a slag-hoe-hooker-prostitute-wench!" is actually staggering.

And if the genders were reversed, then I have no doubt that everyone would take his kind-of-odd behaviour as a sign that he's some kind of rapist pervert. Because the double-standard goes both ways, let's face it. If someone comes onto you, it only becomes a problem if they don't stop if you ask them to. This lady did, so it's not a problem.

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He could share it if he likes - but it's quite the unexceptional story, considering that people hit on other people all the time,

To those of us who are never hit on (like myself, and almost the OP), it's anything but unexceptional for us when it actually does happen :|

I'd imagine that buried somewhere in the "ace moments" thread, there are actually a number of scenarios like this one, where someone not used to being hit on was hit on, and they reacted in a particularly atypical (we might even say asexy) way.

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It's misogynistic because the overall mood is "Wow, let's laugh at this SLUT who was just so shameless and SLUTTY - almost like a PROSTITUTE, because we all know that being a prostitute is the worst occupation ever - that she deserves to be laughed at and belittled! I know, let's make up a name for her - drunkstitute sounds like a good one!"

He could share it if he likes - but it's quite the unexceptional story, considering that people hit on other people all the time, and in a variety of ways, and his attitude towards it has been so completely disrespectful. It might be ODD behaviour, and it might be funny to some people, but the number of people who are chiming in with "Yeah, what a slag-hoe-hooker-prostitute-wench!" is actually staggering.

The mood isn't like lets laugh at the "SLUT" it is laugh at the drunk person. If she was sober, and calmly propositioned him with a martini glass, and then when turned down and just walked away. It wouldn't be as funny. It would just be very uncomfortable.

The fact that she was DRUNK is what is funny about this. Drunk people tend to make people much more uncomfortable. It is because people are drunk their filter isn't there and they tend to say things that they normally wouldn't say.

Because a woman wants to have sex, that does not make her a slut or a prostitute. You are assume that is what people are thinking. It is because of that line she used that the word prostitute popped into people's head. Other than that, the word people think of the most is DRUNK.

This situation was funny because drunk people tend to be funny. Just because you have a problem with misogyny does not mean that it is the main issue everywhere. In this situation, the funny part is the drunkenness. Or is having her being drunk misogynist too?

Plus, why do people always assume that being a prostitute is the WORST thing in the world? Do you realize that women actually chose that career and not feel dirty or bad about it? You should try seeing the show Cat House, it actually might change your mind about all of these "poor defenseless prostitutes". Some of them know what they are doing and actually enjoy their work. Not all sex workers are beaten by pimps, drug addicted, or underaged. You are assuming that being a prostitute is something shameful.

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Look. The OP used the word "slut", and not to reclaim it. That alone is sexist, and even if it wasn't, I'm tired of people acting like being accused of being sexist is worse than being sexist or being on the receiving end of sexism.

The sex worker comparison was equally out of line, because being a sex worker is not funny any more than being a "slut" (aka liking sex) is funny.

And yeah, I happen to "have a problem with misogyny", because guess what, misogyny is harmful and a big social problem. And it may not be everywhere, but it's certainly not rare. Misogyny is thinking that calling a woman "slut" is okay and funny, to give just one example. I don't appreciate the implication that this all just boils down to paranoia.

I don't really care what the OP assumed about the woman in question - hey, she may in fact have been a sex worker, who knows? -, and it's perfectly all right to be uncomfortable with a situation like that. The problem is making it sound like sex workers are one big joke ("drunkstitute") and using the word "slut" in the way the OP did.

Finding something funny is one thing, making offensive jokes about it and slut-shaming a person another.

Also, who of those having a problem with the slut-shaming in this thread said that being a sex worker was a bad thing? All I see is people pointing out that being a sex worker is not bad, shameful or hilarious (unlike the OP, who went "slut + 'hooker' = drunkstitute").

And no, you're not "putting yourself at risk" by coming on to random people. This is going into the direction of victim-blaming, and please, please don't turn this into that kind of discussion. As for such behavior being out of line, I personally don't feel that way - if someone randomly came on to me in such a setting, I'd think it's weird, but as long as they don't get all touchy and take no for an answer, I probably wouldn't think badly of them. That does not mean feeling uncomfortable and saying so is in any way wrong - just that the woman we're talking about does not sound like a horrible person to me.

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And no, you're not "putting yourself at risk" by coming on to random people.

I can only guess that STDs and creeps/abusers/sex offenders don't exist in your world.

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