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Are you repulsed by your own gender?


henrik

  

  1. 1. Well, are you?

    • I am repulsed by both the physical and societal aspects of my gender
      47
    • I am repulsed by physical attributes only
      20
    • I am repulsed by societal attributes only
      42
    • Yes (please elaborate)
      2
    • I am not
      73
    • I am indiffernt to all aspects of my gender identity, both internal and external
      38
    • Other (please elaborate)
      9

This poll is closed to new votes


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Feeling repulsed by your own gender is a theme that seems to come up pretty often in the asexual community. Gender repulsion goes beyond "simple" genital repulsion, since it encompasses other parts of your body as well as the societal norms and expectations placed on you because of your physical sex. This is what the rather small crew of A Life discusses this time around.

Please do add your thoughts about the subject, but I urge you to listen to the show first. It will considerably clarify the poll and give tons of thought-provoking entertainment. You can find the show here:

http://alifepodcast.wordpress.com/

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Gho St Ory Qwan

I voted indifferent. I don't like it when people assume my gender based on my body, then decide I must fit into ridiculous stereotypes associated with that gender they assigned me. But that's more so my dislike of people jumping to conclusions, having closed minds and making fools of themselves. It's also annoying when someone can't be bothered to get to know you and make a judgement of you based on things other than your body's form.

There's no repulsion at all.

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I voted indifferent as well. When it comes to me personally, I have no problem identifying as cisfemale even though my behaviour, my way of dressing and my likes and dislikes are all far from being those of a stereotypical girl. I often act more boyish than not, but gender is more of a social play than an actual identity for me. I'm capable of behaving more like girls in a predominantly female ambient, and more like boys in a predominantly male one. It's fun too. :P

When it comes to being repulsed by the female gender in general, once again, I'm not. However, I do find myself better suited for male company, because my character traits are closer to males and I feel much more at ease among them.

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Yep. Societal.

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I voted 'other' since I have no idea of what you mean and how a gender can have a body. My gender is trigender, and I'm not sure how I know how I would act if I talked with another triggered person. (also why I voted 'other').

Someone please help me understand this.

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I'm romantically attracted to my gender (and the opposite gender as well).

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I'm not repulsed by my own gender at all considering I'm homo-romantic. :3

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I´m repulsed by social attributes, or rather stereothypes like:

"Every woman wants children." - I find pregnancy and childbirth disgusting and I don´t like children.

"Every woman should be pretty and sexy, wear lipstick, eyeshadows, mascara..." - Again, I find it repulsive when women wear more of this stuff than so little that they look like without it. Many women look like clowns but still there are a lot of men who likes them, which I don´t get.

And I dislike this double standard - women are supposed to be pretty and sexy only because they are women, men don´t. What media present as pretty and sexy is absolutely twisted.

I´m also repulsed by scandalmongers and gold-diggers, which is much more common behavior in women.

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never odd or even

i'm repulsed by both male and female gentitals and gender roles in society.

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Måskemigselvetsted

I'm not sure I understand the question..

I am repulsed by both the physical and societal aspects of my gender

I thought the whole idea was that gender wasn't about the physical?

Sorry if you clarify it in the podcast, I haven't time to hear it now :blush:

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Vampyremage

I voted indifferent. If I am repulsed by anything it is going to be specific traits of specific individuals. It would be highly sexist and discriminatory of me to make such a blanket judgement about such a vast group of people. It should be obvious by now that stereotypes are not representative of many in a specific group. To judge based primarily upon those stereotypes is both hateful and emotionally damaging. I doubt asexuals would want people to judge them repulsive simply because they are asexual. Similarly, a male or a female or any other genderered individual is not going to appreciate being judged as repulstive simply because of their gender.

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I am indifferent about other females whether it be societal or physical. I am repulsed when it comes to my own physical female attributes.

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Effanineffable

The spread is surprisingly even. At least, so far.

(Voted "no.")

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Addicted2Oreos

"Every woman should be pretty and sexy, wear lipstick, eyeshadows, mascara..." - Again, I find it repulsive when women wear more of this stuff than so little that they look like without it. Many women look like clowns but still there are a lot of men who likes them, which I don´t get.

And I dislike this double standard - women are supposed to be pretty and sexy only because they are women, men don´t. What media present as pretty and sexy is absolutely twisted.

----

This.

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

Sometimes I feel repulsed by societal attributes of my gender (female), but mostly I feel repulsed by the opposite one, until I meet a man and I think it's able to see more than a body but a whole person. Maybe it's because I grow in an environment that can be a bit abusive, where pretty women are extremely privileged and at the same time sexually harassed and those who aren't so blessed about their physical aspect can be badly battered or just ignored. :unsure:

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One of the first things that surprised me when I joined Aven was the gender-repulsion thing. It seemed quite alarming to me that so many people in the asexual community felt this way. Personally, I've never felt any repulsion towards my sexuality or my gender - I'm very comfortable and feel like a perfectly normal man who just happens to be asexual.

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When I was younger (maybe until I was a teenager), I think I was a bit embarrassed by masculinity. I still am a wee bit, but not as much. Sometimes, I just think there's something 'trapping' about masculinity as well.

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Thoughts For Otter

When asked if I did like other girls once, I responded quickly without thinking (tho it was honest) that I'd rather cut off my own hand than to intimately touch a girl. Hugs, etc are fine tho. As for society, I generally avoid most girls and am on some level afraid of them. Tho most of my friends ARE girls, it was only after testing the water slowly; they're nice. :)

So if those traits qualify as repulsed, then yes.

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I voted "I am repulsed by both the physical and societal aspects of my gender."

Most of the time, I am very fine with my body. However, I get really annoyed when confronted with the gender roles assigned to female-bodied people and tend to avoid them. If I happen to fall under them, it's not because I want to fill that role but merely because I happen to.

Regarding the physical aspect, again, I tend to be okay with my body. But there are times when I do get annoyed. It seems like sometimes my body feels, let's put it, sexual attraction when I don't. And to people I might be romantically or aromantically interested in. At those times I get really frustrated, and days have been ruined because of these annoying bodily "instincts."

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  • 2 weeks later...
abandoned account

I voted no, I'm fine with being female as long as no one brings up the "all women want husbands and children and little houses in the suburbs with white picket fences" and "all young women want hot boyfriends and when they're not oogling the cute jocks they're sitting around gossiping about boys or trying on outfits and makeup to impress boys" stereotypes. Sometimes I want to grab people and yell, "Has it occured to you that I like looking good because it makes me FEEL good, not because I want to impress anyone?!" Before I found out I was asexual I just thought I was a hard-core feminist. :P

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I'm going to assume I'm male for the purposes of this. I don't exactly have a massive connection to either gender, but I don't care enough to identify as anything else.

I voted yes (social), although 'repulsed' is probably the wrong word. I get rather annoyed by how gender restricts people. Other than that, girls tend to talk about sex less, which is good, but I've never been sure whether that's because of anything inherent, or because I am, by definition, mixed company (Woo! Comma splicing!).

EDIT: And for anyone wondering what someone male is doing complaining about restrictive gender roles, I would point out that I don't have to be female to be disgusted at restriction of women, and I know women do have it worse than men. But the truth is that it's probably more because one of my favourite hobbies is dancing.

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Sometimes I want to grab people and yell, "Has it occured to you that I like looking good because it makes me FEEL good, not because I want to impress anyone?!"

Hah, I'm so with you there.

Though I'm not repulsed by my gender, I am more often than not thoroughly disturbed by the importance society attaches to gender. Surely I'm not the only one who, when meeting someone new, first notices certain striking personal characteristics, and then having the afterthought of "Oh yeah, this person happens to be a man/woman/other"?

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Only the stereotypes repulse me, if that counts for anything. Not gender itself.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I never really think about gender that much or how it pertains to me. I just exist. If it falls into people's idea of being female or male, whatever, good for them. I don't really care. If society says I'm female because I've got a female body, sure, I'll call myself female, but again, I couldn't care less either way.

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God, I wish I had listened to the podcast before commenting. *Slaps self*. Having had listened to the podcast now, I am repulsed by my sex. (Especially genitals, as I'm repulsed by genitals, period). I'm not repulsed by my gender, because I don't identify as either gender.

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