Intellectual benefits of asexuality?

[Sakky]

Hello people,

personally I'm not asexual (hope you don't mind :)) but I've recently heard of one friend who has this type of sexual orientation. It made me wonder, and I want to hear your opinions too, does the absence of sexual needs helps one's personal developments in other areas of life. What I mean, relieved of what many humans spend most of their life on - which is finding a sexual partner and starting family with him or her (let's not forget what is actual purpose of sexual behavior) do asexual people have more time and less distractions from, lets say, things like intellectual growing, art, science and are able to be more focused on becoming excellent and wide appreciated in the matters not related to the romantic aspirations.

I want to know what are your experiences concerning this?

Thank you :)

[Pandoren]

Remember that asexuality doesn't mean that a person doesn't want relationships or children. While yes, we are less likely to go out on the pull and try to get laid, there are asexuals with a high drive to find a loving partner for an emotional connection and there are sexually active asexuals. There are asexuals with children.

Personally, relieved of the need for sex, relationships and children, I sit on my ass all day on the Internet. Aces can be just as lazy or disinterested in intellectual pursuits as everyone else imo.

[Sakky]

Than I should probably narrow it down to people with no sexual needs at all or with very low sexual drive (I'm not saying with no romantic needs).

So, I would also say (as you're suggesting in your post) that wish to make such pursuits is mostly included in someones character, which means I don't connect it directly to asexuality, but I'm simply wondering if someone is constituted in intellectual direction does the absence of more earthly : ) wishes make this direction come to it's fulfillment?

[Brian XOXOXO]

I'd say there is no causation. There might be some kind of correlation, but you can't say asexuality with no libido ultimately leads to a life of enlightenment.

We're just as human as people with other orientations. We make the same mistakes, waste our time pursuing other interests besides knowledge, and do many many things that sexual humans do. I can see where you are coming from, and that might be a valid assumption.

Just remember that asexuality is a catch-all phrase for very different people. The best determinant of someone's intellect is themselves, not their sexual orientation.

[Sakky]

I corrected myself (or maybe just cleared out what exactly I'm thinking) in the post above. Of course I'm not making any stereotyped presumptions, but just considering possible theoretical benefit of asexuality which crossed my mind.

[itsme]

well, on the last AVEN meet I was at I found the others to be shockingly intellectual....Don't know if I'm like that myself though....so personally I would say that it seems to be a prevalent trait / characteristic , but by no means are we all like that.

A bit like thinking we all love cats. Quite a large number of us do (including me!) but you'll always get a group who don't, and even the odd one who hates cats (How could they ! lol p.s I think you can tell i'm not intellectual by my use of lol. lol ;)

[Sakky]

Thank you nicolew84, it's a good comment :)

You interested me with those cats, never heard of it, what do you think why is that? Why not, for example, dogs? :)

[Pandoren]

There are quite a lot of vegetarians and vegans on AVEN too, if we are on the animal topic.

[itsme]

heehee im a vegetarian too!

about the cats : i have no idea , personally i just love them ;)

[Sakky]

Just a little side question, no need to panic, we won't go off topic ^_^

[Rhaenys]

Personally, relieved of the need for sex, relationships and children, I sit on my ass all day on the Internet. Aces can be just as lazy or disinterested in intellectual pursuits as everyone else imo.

Me too <_< and slack on chores :lol:

[Deremna]

Personally, relieved of the need for sex, relationships and children, I sit on my ass all day on the Internet. Aces can be just as lazy or disinterested in intellectual pursuits as everyone else imo.

:lol: I'm either on the internet or a console and that's whether I'm having a "sexy" day or not.

I should also mention my love for cats, animals in general, and bugs.

But I'm no where near vegetarian or vegan. In fact, it's pretty hard to get me to eat most vegetables and fruit but I'm trying, dammit. (new obsession: champagne mangoes.. )

Edit: My extremely sexual boyfriend reads things like The Nibelungenlied and Le Morte d'Arthur and searches his phone on breaks for things relating to quantum theories and such.. While I set here and read Twilight and search for serial killers sooo.. I'm not saying that Twilight or a serial killer fascination makes me of inferior intelligence, I'm just saying that when he gets going about math or physics, I just kind of have to cock my head and nod. Like I do on here sometimes when I try to read those sorts of posts. Not my area of expertise. Know what is?

Adorable buggies! Yay!

Edited July 13, 2011 by Deremna

[Guest]

Being sexual or asexual doesn't change your life goals much, I think. Everyone has their own life pursuits and may choose many ways to live, according to their own goals. Having a sexual partner and/or a family doesn't change any of this. It's no hindrance to do what you really want in life, if you truly want to do it.

I like being asexual and I'm fine with it, but I wouldn't advise someone to become asexual because it could help their self-realization. I'm in for personal expression in whichever way it may come. Therefore, if people are happy about expressing themselves also through sex, then more power to them.

[Harkins]

There are times that I'd like to consider myself to be more intellectual than the sexuals I know, but this has nothing to do with my status as an asexual. I'm an intellectual person who happens to also be asexual. I'm asexual because I don't feel sexual attraction, everything else is just an indicator of me being myself.

I'd imagine from the outside my day looks the same as someone who identifies as sexual, because outside of whether or whether not we're having sex, I think most people have similar daily routines. The only core difference is that they might have someone they're going to go home to that night and have sex with, whereas I'm typically on Skype with my friends, playing PS3, or reading. Even then, I'm sure there are sexuals who spend their evening doing just what I've described.

[nleseul]

I suspect that all that happens statistically is, all that time that sexual people spend stressing over the search for sex partners, we just end up spending stressing over the search for romance/friends/squishes/whatever.

[Sakky]

I mostly agree with all of you, but don't you think that need to achieve a sexual relationship that most of the people feel (sex is most discussed topic on everything from coffee with friends to mass media) which makes everybody feel it's pretty relevant to have a good sexual partner, questioning even the meaning of just platonic relationship. There is a great pressure on everybody, no matter what sexual orientation, that it is something that everybody needs to be doing (and even I'm not, as I confessed, too familiar with asexuality, I believe it's not at all easy for you folks) . Isn't asexuality sort of a gift with which you were born that allows you not only not to be crushed down with great burden of sex, but to also not occupy your mind with it at all, which gives you space to focus on yourself. And even maybe to make more profound connections with people of the same interest from what you can benefit in many ways.

Be careful, now - I'm not saying intellectual aspirations are common mark of asexual people or that someone needs to somehow convert to asexuality to prosper - I'm just saying, if your mind is turned to some some sort of special interest (even if it is playing games - I suck at it :)), isn't it a great privilege that your hormones or some outside pressures aren't dictating time you can spend dealing with it

[Vampyremage]

Personally, relieved of the need for sex, relationships and children, I sit on my ass all day on the Internet. Aces can be just as lazy or disinterested in intellectual pursuits as everyone else imo.

:lol: I'm either on the internet or a console and that's whether I'm having a "sexy" day or not.

I should also mention my love for cats, animals in general, and bugs.

But I'm no where near vegetarian or vegan. In fact, it's pretty hard to get me to eat most vegetables and fruit but I'm trying, dammit. (new obsession: champagne mangoes.. )

Edit: My extremely sexual boyfriend reads things like The Nibelungenlied and Le Morte d'Arthur and searches his phone on breaks for things relating to quantum theories and such.. While I set here and read Twilight and search for serial killers sooo.. I'm not saying that Twilight or a serial killer fascination makes me of inferior intelligence, I'm just saying that when he gets going about math or physics, I just kind of have to cock my head and nod. Like I do on here sometimes when I try to read those sorts of posts. Not my area of expertise. Know what is?

Adorable buggies! Yay!

Yup I'm another lazy internetting asexual hehe. Even better when I can eat while spending the day on the internet doing nothing at all :P

I also want to throw in my love for bugs. They are, without a doubt, awesome. I grew up on the country and I'd occasionally find the perfectly preserved dead exoskeletons of bugs in old spiderwebs, usually dragonflies or giant beetles and I'd bring them home and put them on display. My father liked to collect giant dried mushrooms from trees, so we'd have dead bugs sitting on top of giant mushrooms. There was also a cat skull and a couple of snake skeletons. Hmm, does that make me horribly morbid?

[Deremna]

Yup I'm another lazy internetting asexual hehe. Even better when I can eat while spending the day on the internet doing nothing at all :P

I also want to throw in my love for bugs. They are, without a doubt, awesome. I grew up on the country and I'd occasionally find the perfectly preserved dead exoskeletons of bugs in old spiderwebs, usually dragonflies or giant beetles and I'd bring them home and put them on display. My father liked to collect giant dried mushrooms from trees, so we'd have dead bugs sitting on top of giant mushrooms. There was also a cat skull and a couple of snake skeletons. Hmm, does that make me horribly morbid?

No. In fact, you got even more awesome! :D I was obsessed with these spinal bones and what I suspect was a clavicle that were on my walk to work for the longest time. I think they belonged to a large dog.. Or at least I HOPE they did.. I told our security manager about them just in case but he didn't care. So if there is some unopened missing persons case out here, I tried. I wanted to take one of the spinal bones but I never did as everyone had convinced me that would be extremely unsanitary. I was going to bring gloves, a baggy, and rubbing alcohol, bastards.

[Harkins]

I mostly agree with all of you, but don't you think that need to achieve a sexual relationship that most of the people feel (sex is most discussed topic on everything from coffee with friends to mass media) which makes everybody feel it's pretty relevant to have a good sexual partner, questioning even the meaning of just platonic relationship. There is a great pressure on everybody, no matter what sexual orientation, that it is something that everybody needs to be doing (and even I'm not, as I confessed, too familiar with asexuality, I believe it's not at all easy for you folks) . Isn't asexuality sort of a gift with which you were born that allows you not only not to be crushed down with great burden of sex, but to also not occupy your mind with it at all, which gives you space to focus on yourself. And even maybe to make more profound connections with people of the same interest from what you can benefit in many ways.

Be careful, now - I'm not saying intellectual aspirations are common mark of asexual people or that someone needs to somehow convert to asexuality to prosper - I'm just saying, if your mind is turned to some some sort of special interest (even if it is playing games - I suck at it :)), isn't it a great privilege that your hormones or some outside pressures aren't dictating time you can spend dealing with it

I know that I don't speak for everyone here, but I still don't think we're immune to "the great burden of sex". There are some asexuals that have a libido and there are asexuals that are in relationships with sexuals where they're still having sex. We also live in a very sexualized society that doesn't immediately think "it's great that you don't want sex" and instead is convinced there's something wrong with us. I also think that the "burden" that sexuals feel about sex is more about relationships (of which sex can be a major part) and I know that the ideal of potential romantic relationships are still stressful, especially since there is that nagging thought that I might not find someone who accepts my asexuality.

I don't know if I'd call it a privilege, it's just who I am, I'm not sexually attracted to anyone-- and that can come with its own burdens.

Also I just wanted a chance to use this .gif :lol:.

[Sakky]

Of course, but it is in some way easier for you because you don't feel biological need. Social pressure is obvious but if you have enough nerves and self confidence you can as any other human being say no to anyone who is molesting you that your orientation is wrong. Maybe some of your relationships can be ruined by asexuality, and your heart can, no doubt, be broken, but that is a normal thing that happens in any type of relationship. Still there might be someone for you, just like for anybody else. Over all of this you might find some special advantages I'm trying to discuss.

One drastic idea comes to my mind (I'm not representing it, it just popped to me while writing posts, and sure I won't be fighting over it) but don't you think that asexuality is some kind of step forward in the development of man kind (even though you're mostly calling yourself lazy and sitters (?!) on internet, I believe there are many talents which can be extracted even from this activities - after all, we live great part of our lives in a global virtual social network). What I'm thinking - reproduction has very little purpose in evolutionary way - planet is overcrowded, there is more orphans than we can count, genetics are making it's progress to non sexual reproduction(even though its ethical problems). On the other hand, we all are enjoying benefits from new science revelations, we find meaning through art and all sorts of objective or subjective discoveries.

Hasn't sex became some sort of excess, enjoyment on the line of pure rubbing on the trees to get excitement when time spent on it can be put in trying to make progress for yourself, community you live in or even wider? I repeat, just theoretical.

:)

[Guest member25959]

The whole ideology of ''Sexual's spend their life concentrating on sex and not much else'' amuses me, I must say. :P And that suggests that all Asexual's don't partiipate/enjoy/take part in sex, which many do.

What I mean, relieved of what many humans spend most of their life on - which is finding a sexual partner and starting family with him or her (let's not forget what is actual purpose of sexual behavior)

Do most Humans/Sexual's really spend their whole life on Sex, really? :P I mean.......to the point where they are wasting time that could be better spent elsewhere, learning, doing other things, that could ultimately lead to them becoming an 'intellectual'.

I look at it this way, I haven't really come across a famous intellectual in history that described themselves or hinted towards Asexuality.

Though, whilst on this topic, I had a Tutor in school who went as far as suggesting that Sexual activity helps you to learn, something along the lines of 'It will make you feel happier, thus you will find it easier to adsorb information'.

[Sally]

Isn't asexuality sort of a gift with which you were born that allows you not only not to be crushed down with great burden of sex, but to also not occupy your mind with it at all, which gives you space to focus on yourself. And even maybe to make more profound connections with people of the same interest from what you can benefit in many ways.

Not necessarily. As someone said above, we simply are the individual people that we are, and we just happen not to feel sexual attraction. If anything, we can be distracted from whatever we want to focus on by society being overwhelmingly sexual, which usually bothers us a lot more than it bothers sexuals, and if we wish to seek a partner, it's more difficult because generally sex is expected. So it isn't as though sex never enters our consciousness just because we don't experience sexual attraction.

So no, we don't magically accomplish more, with a freer mind, just because we're asexual.

[Winston Marrs]

The whole ideology of ''Sexual's spend their life concentrating on sex and not much else'' amuses me, I must say. :P And that suggests that all Asexual's don't partiipate/enjoy/take part in sex, which many do.

What I mean, relieved of what many humans spend most of their life on - which is finding a sexual partner and starting family with him or her (let's not forget what is actual purpose of sexual behavior)

Do most Humans/Sexual's really spend their whole life on Sex, really? :P I mean.......to the point where they are wasting time that could be better spent elsewhere, learning, doing other things, that could ultimately lead to them becoming an 'intellectual'.

I look at it this way, I haven't really come across a famous intellectual in history that described themselves or hinted towards Asexuality.

Though, whilst on this topic, I had a Tutor in school who went as far as suggesting that Sexual activity helps you to learn, something along the lines of 'It will make you feel happier, thus you will find it easier to adsorb information'.

I have to agree with Oscar Wilde, "Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." Psychology lends a lot to this notion. The ultimate drive of most beings is to reproduce, in order to do this each society has it's requirements. In humans in the 1st world nations, it tends to mean financial security, housing, etc material gain then competing on many levels for a mate and so on. In most societies everything is geared and propaganda is geared toward make money, mate, have offspring. All the industries ultimately thrive on the family situation and and society revolves around it. Most people Ive known got a job as a teen to have money to do something that would impress the opposite sex or buy something to wear or do that would and so on. Human beings are fascinatingly odd creatures. But opinions being as they are, my opinion is well rather meaningless. This is my viewpoint however from a psychological motivation view of society. Peer pressure and impressing others is a very strong motivator for most people for most things in life IMO.

[Pandoren]

No, I don't believe asexuality is evolution's advancement of mankind. It could well come about from an error somewhere along the line and I'm not offended by the possibility that my asexuality is caused by a malfunction in sexuality genes or whatever crap makes sexuality in the first place. Asexuality doesn't stop population- as already said, asexuals can be sexually active and have children, so in terms of limitation of the population as a result of asexuality, it wouldn't be working an awful lot.

[nleseul]

Of course, but it is in some way easier for you because you don't feel biological need.

Think about it this way. Sexual desire is like a persistent itch on your skin. It never goes away no matter how much you scratch it, but you can scratch it. You can point to the specific point on your skin where you need to scratch to get that relief. If your hand gets tired or it's in a place you can't reach by yourself, you can explain to another person where and how you need to be scratched, and ask for their help. It may be maddening, but it's manageable.

What many asexuals feel, I think, is more like a weird itch somewhere on the inside of your skin. It's a persistent feeling that's just as hard to relieve, with the added difficulty that there's no specific spot you can point to where you need relief and no clear way to communicate to another person how it feels or what you need.

Hasn't sex became some sort of excess, enjoyment on the line of pure rubbing on the trees to get excitement when time spent on it can be put in trying to make progress for yourself, community you live in or even wider? I repeat, just theoretical.

:)

I don't think that's true at all. Sex has many benefits for people far beyond its use in reproduction. It's a very powerful means to social bonding, for one thing—you can even see that in the social rituals of our close relatives the bonobos. I think it's also very significant as a means to access some of the emotional content of the subconscious that is usually buried, and a way to deepen the intrapersonal connection of the id with the ego.

[cthuvianace]

I personally am a lazy internetting asexual, but I would say that if I had the motivation to do things other than internet, I would have more time for intellectual pursuits than the average sexual. Particularly as a possible-aromantic non-libidoist, romance and sex are just things I don't really think about. I have lots of time, which is why I'm on the internet so much, and why I watch tons of TV.

So I would say that if an asexual person is inclined towards and motivated to intellectual pursuits, then yes, pursuing intellectual pursuits would be easier, and there would be more time to devote to such pursuits than there would be for a sexual who is inclined towards and motivated to intellectual pursuits.

Does this means that asexuals are more intellectual than sexuals?

As a general rule, not really.

[OtherWise]

I think that a small number of asexual people, unencumbered by sexual distraction, focus their minds towards intellectual pursuits.

The rest of us probably turn out minds towards looking up funny crap on the Internet.

[Sally]

I think that a small number of asexual people, unencumbered by sexual distraction, focus their minds towards intellectual pursuits.

The rest of us probably turn out minds towards looking up funny crap on the Internet.

and some of us are dealing with our partners who are sexuals, which I think causes a hell of a lot more distraction than being a sexual dealing with another sexual.

[Avistew]

It certainly depends, and sexual attraction has been the source of creativity before. A sexual who does have a partner might also be content with their life and pursue intellectual stuff. I don't think there is a correlation or more time for one group of people or the other, when you think of the time aces spend explaining what asexuality is, turning down people who hit of them, trying to deal with sexual partners if they're not aromantic, and so on.

In the end, if the difference is only time, some people will spend it on finding a cure for cancer and some will spend it watching TV. I don't even thing the time difference would be that significant, when you take into account for instance the difference in number of hour worked between some people, etc.

And if you mean they're not distracted by sexual attraction in everyday life, then sure, it's possible, but they might be distracted by other things, such as clothes they like or cars or animals or food... Ultimately I'm not sure how big a difference that would make. I think it has much more to do with personality than any other factor.

[Philip027]

Personally, relieved of the need for sex, relationships and children, I sit on my ass all day on the Internet. Aces can be just as lazy or disinterested in intellectual pursuits as everyone else imo.

Ain't that the truth 8)