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Compromising?


kaz

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So, the one time I have had sex was with my ex-girlfriend. I realized at that point (or the day after) that I was just really not missing anything. I was asexual. I guess I should have figured it out when I was still a virgin at 24 with no interest in changing that. Anyway, onto the main point of this post. After that night, I felt guilty. I did things intentionally in order to avoid getting into a situation with her in which sex might be expected. After the relationship was over and after thinking for a few years, I am wondering if instead of someone I am in a relationship with just having to deal with no sex, if it wouldn't be fairer to the both of us if I compromised and went ahead and had sex with them from time to time, just to be fair to them. I wouldn't really enjoy it, in fact I would feel awkward, but isn't compromise an important part of a relationship? I have no prospects for a new relationship and haven't for the past 5 years, but I guess it would be better to have something in place before the issue comes up. Any thoughts?

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under_the_radar

I think compromise is important on many levels in a relationship even though it is complicated. How do you feel about a different association to sex or exploring those thoughts?

No matter what don't cause yourself harm for the sake of compromise because it will hurt both of you potentially, sexual partners are normally alarmed if there is a negative vibe after sex so they can be hurt if you aren't okay with it. It is a personal decision to find your boundaries and perspectives on this subject so I highly encourage soul searching and examination of how you feel about the concept.

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