Does being asexual become easier with age?

[The A Life Team]

The challenges in life differ greatly with age, so it's only logical to assume that the same applies to one's asexuality. In this episode of A Life, the crew examines the different social challenges of asexuality as they change with age.

Please do add your thoughts about the subject, but I urge you to listen to the show first. It will considerably clarify the poll and give tons of thought-provoking entertainment. You can find the show here:

http://alifepodcast.wordpress.com/

[articvibe]

Not really old enough to vote on this one but still i dont think it gets "easier" as much as you become somewhat hardened anethatised to the process...

[Moon Ace]

In my case, with age comes understanding and acceptance, with understanding and acceptance comes relief from feeling I have to fulfil expectations, with that comes a feeling of being more at one with myself, rather than at odds with everything and everyone, including myself.. so yes.. it does get easier for me.

[daveb]

In my case, with age comes understanding and acceptance, with understanding and acceptance comes relief from feeling I have to fulfil expectations, with that comes a feeling of being more at one with myself, rather than at odds with everything and everyone, including myself.. so yes.. it does get easier for me.

This pretty well sums it up for me, too.

[KAGU143]

I have to agree with A-man and Daveb. As I got older, people gradually quit trying to set me up on dates or tell me that I would be much happier if I would only get married and have children. Part of that was probably because I became more confident in myself and willing to resist that kind of pressure. I was quite willing to talk about how much I enjoyed my freedom and independence and it seemed to work, especially once I reached my mid 30s. Prior to that, I think that my friends and family were not quite convinced that I meant it.

So ... middle age was definitely easier than my teens and 20s.

Old age might be a different matter altogether, but I don't know since I'm not there yet. Not having children or family or friends of any kind could be very difficult, and potential poverty is no joking matter, but then I have to admit that a lot of the lonliness would be due to my own reluctance to get out and meet people. It would probably be just the same for any introverted, childless and single elderly person, asexual or not. Extroverts would have a better time of it, I suspect.

-GB

[CrazyCatLover]

I'm not sure I've aged enough to provide insight (22). Getting married had a more of an effect, I suspect. People are less likely to believe that I'm really asexual unless dethl is with me to collaborate. On the other hand, married people are more accepted by our society than single people.

[Sally]

I'm quite old and am willing to say so. I was married for 10 years, partnered for 30+, and have two adult children. By the time I learned there was such a thing as asexuality, I was out of the period where people try to get you to pair up, and I've only been unpaired for about 3 years now. So I'm not really a good judge of whether asexuality gets easier with age.

As far as not having children and thus no one to support you in your old age, having children doesn't necessary do that -- one of my kids is intellectually handicapped and the other is financially handicapped, so I'm helping them, not the other way around. If you don't have kids, at least you don't have financial responsibilities!

[mindtraveler]

For me, it doesn't get easier. Quite the contrary I'd say. I'm 33 now and I feel so much social pressure on me from everybody around questioning why they've never seen me in a relationship. Why I don't get married, why do I have a roomate at this age, "is he a homo or what..! ", parents and sister are worried sick for me and what I will do with my life without a life partner and someone to be there for me. They constantly try to fix me up with girls and put so much stress on me and I really don't know what to tell them, as the truth would only confuse and upset them more.. When I was younger, I didn't have that pressure on me. Now it's getting suffocating. On a personal level, now I'm getting older, I feel more helpless and the actual realization that I will end up alone because every friend gets married and takes their own path, makes me so sad. When I was in my 20's I just never thought of my future. I lived every happy moment with so many friends and fun activities. The thought of being alone never occurred to me back then, as if I was to stay forever in my early 20's. Now, I see that reality of being asexual is extremely hard for me and everybody else caring for me. You just can't do anything about it... Life is a lot more difficult than that of average people that can have sex.

[montgomeryguy]

I guess it's a little different for me, since the matchmakers tend to back off when I tell them kindly but firmly that I've been married twice and am in no mood to go for three. It probably doesn't hurt that I have a son with my second (fortunately, she and I get along very well, we've even taken our son on vacations together in years past - before the recession and the onset of the teen years), since that seems to validate me in the eyes of some. They probably still think "he'll change his mind when he meets the right woman" but as long as they don't push anyone at me, I'm fine with that.

Purely in terms of coming to accept being asexual, it has certainly made life easier for me, in that the pressure to figure out what's wrong is gone. I have several divorced friends who have no desire to remarry or get involved with anyone, so I get to enjoy an active social life in spite of my agoraphobia and panic disorder. All in all, life for me at the age of 51 going on 52 is much easier all the way around.

[Samael]

For me, it doesn't get easier. Quite the contrary I'd say. I'm 33 now and I feel so much social pressure on me from everybody around questioning why they've never seen me in a relationship. Why I don't get married, why do I have a roomate at this age, "is he a homo or what..! ", parents and sister are worried sick for me and what I will do with my life without a life partner and someone to be there for me. They constantly try to fix me up with girls and put so much stress on me and I really don't know what to tell them, as the truth would only confuse and upset them more.. When I was younger, I didn't have that pressure on me. Now it's getting suffocating. On a personal level, now I'm getting older, I feel more helpless and the actual realization that I will end up alone because every friend gets married and takes their own path, makes me so sad. When I was in my 20's I just never thought of my future. I lived every happy moment with so many friends and fun activities. The thought of being alone never occurred to me back then, as if I was to stay forever in my early 20's. Now, I see that reality of being asexual is extremely hard for me and everybody else caring for me. You just can't do anything about it... Life is a lot more difficult than that of average people that can have sex.

I'm 23 now. At least for the past couple of years I've recognized the disctinct possiblity of ending up alone for good in the future. Friends one may have now, but they will be of little good to you later on if they will have their own obligations to their families and spouses. If necessary, external pressure to partner up is something that I can take no matter what, but I wish things wouldn't go that far, and I hope people would accept and understand the fact that at times we can all be very different from each other.

Asexuality can be a lonely path in the end, but we have little choice in the matter. Just gotta decide how to deal with the unique challenges.